Chapter 29
CAROLINE
Ihadn’t lied when I told Kendrick I wanted to be with him, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t nervous. Was I really going to return with him to his house and allow him to make love to me? Because there could be no other reason he’d take me home with him.
The drive wasn’t long, and I was surprised to find he had a townhouse in Mayfair. I realized I didn’t know much about Kendrick, but surely he was financially sound if he possessed a home in the most fashionable district of London.
Kendrick held one of my hands, and he kept glancing at me throughout the drive. I knew he was checking to see whether I’d changed my mind. But when the carriage turned onto the street leading to the mews behind the houses, my nerves vanished.
I wanted to do this. No, I needed to do this. Kendrick was the only man I’d ever felt any romantic interest in. I wasn’t foolish enough to think he’d want anything more than a brief liaison with me, but I did want to experience what it would be like to be with someone who made my heart beat faster.
He’d shown me time and time again that I could trust him.
The Legends were notorious for their love affairs, but I’d never heard anyone say they didn’t treat women well.
Even now, I knew that if I changed my mind, he’d order the carriage to take me home.
He was a rake, yes, but for now, he was my rake.
The carriage slowed to a halt, and silence stretched between us before Kendrick spoke. “Last chance to change your mind, Caroline.”
I licked my lips and shivered when I saw the way his eyes narrowed in on the movement. “I haven’t changed my mind.”
He didn’t bother to wait for a footman. I watched him jump down from the carriage, fold down the stairs, and hold out his hand.
There would be no turning back, but I smiled and placed my hand in his.
Excitement coursed through me when his fingers tightened around mine.
I was surprised by how much I wanted this.
Kendrick helped me climb down from the carriage and led me through a side door into his townhouse without another word.
When we reached the main hallway, his butler came into view. I noticed the way the man’s eyes widened briefly when he saw me, before he composed his expression.
“All is well, I assume?” Kendrick asked.
The butler nodded. “Nothing to report, my lord.”
“Very well. Please see to it that we’re not disturbed.”
The butler inclined his head. “Yes, my lord.”
My hand was still in Kendrick’s as he led me up the stairs. Nerves assailed me again when an uncomfortable thought occurred to me. Kendrick was very experienced, and I wasn’t. For the first time, I wondered if my inexperience would disappoint him.
“I suppose you do this often?”
He turned to look at me but didn’t volunteer any information.
“Bring women back to your house, that is.”
We turned down a short hallway, and he stopped before a bedroom door. He stared down at me. “You are the first.”
I couldn’t hold back an indelicate snort of disbelief. “I doubt that very much.”
One corner of his mouth quirked. “You are the first woman I’ve brought home with me. Normally, I do this elsewhere.”
That would explain why the butler’s eyes had widened at the sight of me. If not for that, I wasn’t sure I’d believe Kendrick. But I saw no reason for him to lie about this. It wasn’t as though he was trying to convince me he was a chaste man.
“I’m not going to marry you.”
I laughed. “I don’t want you to.”
His smile widened, and he opened the door to his bedchamber.
Having a brother, it wasn’t the first time I’d been inside a gentleman’s private rooms. I’m not sure what I expected to find when I crossed the threshold. An enormous bed, perhaps. Paintings of naked women.
I stood still, my gaze sweeping across the room. An ordinary bed, not too dissimilar from the large bed in which my brother preferred to sleep. Dark wood furniture. Curtains and bedlinens that were dark-blue in color.
“It’s so ordinary.”
Kendrick laughed. “I don’t think I want to ask what you were expecting.”
My cheeks heated, embarrassment taking hold.
Before I could apologize for my unintended slight, he turned me to face him. His head lowered. “I’ll have to make up for my ordinary furnishings.”
Then he kissed me, and my thoughts scattered. The only thing that mattered was this man and the way his mouth felt against mine. He wrapped his arms around my waist and brought me fully against him, and my last remaining fears disappeared.
I circled my arms around his neck in an attempt to bring myself even closer. His tongue darted into my mouth when I opened for him, and the world beyond these walls receded. This was what it must feel like to be inebriated.
His scent filled my nostrils, and I wanted more. I was completely certain I’d made the right choice. A small part of my logical brain told me that after today I would never be the same, but I ignored that voice.
Kendrick was showing me that I wasn’t completely unaffected by the male sex as I’d feared. Unfortunately, he would never offer me an honorable marriage. So I would content myself with being dishonorable with him.
I wasn’t sure how long we continued wrapped up in each other’s arms, our kisses becoming long and languorous. But when he pulled back and stared down at me, both of us were breathing heavily.
“Please tell me you know what’s going to happen.” There was a small line between his brows, and I resisted the urge to reach up and smooth away his worry.
I couldn’t pretend to be like the other women he’d bedded, but I didn’t want him to doubt that I was ready to be with him.
I nodded. “At the start of the season, I thought it prudent to ask someone to explain the details.”
His brows rose at that. “Tell me you didn’t speak to your aunt about this.”
I smiled. “Heavens no. I asked some of the maids.”
He was grinning now. “What was their reaction to your question?”
I couldn’t help but laugh. “My lady’s maid refused to answer, and I had to beg her not to speak about my curiosity to my family.
But then I began watching the way the maids behaved around the footmen.
There were two who I could tell were quite happy with the attention some of the footmen gave them. ”
His eyes crinkled at the corners. “So you asked them?”
I nodded. “If I was going to be forced onto the marriage mart, I wanted to know what lay ahead.”
He cupped my face then, his thumb caressing my bottom lip then moving along my cheek. He slid a hand behind my head, his fingers threading through my hair. “So you’re aware of what I want from you?”
I brought my hands to his shoulders and dragged them down his arms to cup his elbows. “Yes.”
He must have noticed the slight hesitation in my voice, because he frowned. “You’ve changed your mind?”
I felt his muscles tense, and I knew he was about to pull away.
I tightened my grip on his arms. “No. But I need you to tell me what you want me to do.”
His brow smoothed. “You’ve never struck me as the type of woman who likes being told what to do.”
A shiver went through me at the way he seemed to delight in my words. “Normally, I’m not. But with you…” I licked my lips, and his eyes darted to my mouth. “With you and in this matter, I think I would like it.”
His eyes roamed my face, then he nodded. This time, when he stepped back, I let him go.
“I would like you to disrobe for me.”
My mind blanked at his words. I couldn’t. Surely, such an act was indecent. But then I realized who I was with. Almost before realizing, I was reaching up to undo the top buttons at the back of my gown.
I couldn’t undo all of them on my own. When I reached the point between my shoulder blades, I turned around and looked at him over my shoulder. “Much as I would love to do just that, there is a reason women have ladies’ maids.”
I didn’t have to ask twice. He moved into place, and his fingers made quick work of the rest of the buttons. Then he unlaced my corset.
His movements were quick and efficient. I tried not to think about all the times he’d done this with other women. All that mattered was that he was with me now.
I turned around and shifted the fabric of my dress from my shoulders. It puddled on the floor around me. His eyes were dark as I also removed my corset and dropped it on the floor.