Chapter 12 Simon
SIMON
I don’t know why I was shocked. I was over two hundred years old. I shouldn’t have been shocked. But for Reno to suggest—to be happy to suggest—that we bond and then sever it? Like it would be nothing?
I shut my mouth, which had dropped open in my astonishment. “Um.” How best to approach this? I certainly didn’t want to put myself through that. But was it possible he didn’t know what he was asking? “Reno, have you ever felt a connection get cut? Someone you cared about pass away, maybe?”
He shrugged. “Yeah, of course. My parents and my cousin.”
“And were any of those deaths sudden?”
“Nooo? My dad had cancer, and my mom had a lung infection. My cousin had congestive heart failure.”
Fuck. I rubbed my forehead. “Okay, so in those cases the connections start to become thinner as death approaches. There’s no wrenching pain when it happens.
Cutting a connection without warning, or even worse, cutting a bond, is painful and debilitating.
” I frowned. “Didn’t Shane tell you what it was like when the luchd-òl fola cut his bond with Ellis?
” Before they’d bonded with their third, Shane and Ellis had been mates.
Ellis had been briefly captured and had all of his connections and his mate bond severed by the luchd-òl fola.
“No. I only heard what happened from Greg and Cal.”
I sighed. “Reno, I want nothing more than to be mated with you. And you’re right that we need you to be able to call a vision. But completing the bond when you’re not willing to keep it permanently? You’re asking me to essentially tear a hole in my soul. And yours.”
He glanced down at the ground, then back up at me. “Would that be worse than you staying mated to a guy who doesn’t want to be mated?”
Fuck, it was a fair question. “I don’t know.
” Neither of us looked at the other for a while.
“Alright, what about this? You call Shane and ask him to tell you how it felt to have his bond severed. And we both sleep on it tonight. Maybe you’ll have a vision spontaneously.
If not, we’ll talk in the morning and decide. ”
He nodded slowly. “That’s a good plan. Thanks for not just rejecting the idea.”
I didn’t know how to tell him I’d have a hard time denying him anything, even if it meant going through something as painful as getting a brief taste of our bond before I had to destroy it.
Reno went up to his bedroom to call Shane.
I alternated between working on my knitting and monitoring the South Texas District Discord chat.
I’d posted a message earlier to let everyone know the vampires were still out there and that they’d attacked two Wonders but not hurt them seriously.
Most of the comments seemed concerned but not panicking.
Nicky walked the length of the couch a few times, only holding on with one hand. He was making tremendous progress, but his magic wasn’t built back up to even a quarter of the way to where it needed to be.
Eventually Reno came out and handed his phone to Nicky, saying it was Arlo calling to check on him. I got a “Good night,” before he went back into his bedroom. He’d blocked our mating connection again, so I guessed Shane had explained how difficult severing our bond would be.
When Nicky was done with Reno’s phone—Arlo’s contact info now stored in Nicky’s—I went through the new text messages and his Discord private messages.
I responded to a few and told the others we’d get back to them next week.
Reno hadn’t been kidding about how often the Wonders contacted him.
Was it like this for every District Monitor, or was it only because these Wonders felt unsettled without a true DM connection?
I went to bed late, but I couldn’t sleep.
How long would Reno allow us to keep our bond after Marcas and Roibeart were dead?
Would he want to have sex when we completed the bond?
I wanted to make love to Reno more than anything, but it might not be the best idea.
I’d know what I was missing after the bond was gone.
Part of me wanted to rage at the universe for only giving me a taste of what happiness could be like, especially after I’d given up everything to stay on Earth and track the luchd-òl fola for almost half my life. But Reno had needs too, and they weren’t conducive to a proper mating.
I didn’t fall asleep for hours.
I woke up to the clink of dishes in the kitchen.
Slowly, both from being tired and from halfway dreading hearing Reno’s decision, I took a shower and put on some jeans and a t-shirt.
When I couldn’t delay any longer, I went out into the living room.
“Good morning, everyone.” They were all in the kitchen, so I made my way over to the coffee maker.
I met Reno’s eyes, and he gave me a grim head shake. No vision then. Fuck.
My hand trembled as I set the coffee mug down on the table. What had he decided?
I managed to choke down some eggs and toast. After breakfast, Jackson took Nicky outside. They set him up on one of the Adirondack chairs in the middle of the backyard, and Nicky threw Tucker’s softball in Jackson’s general direction while Jackson swung the bat at it.
Reno finished putting the dishes in the dishwasher and sat down next to me at the table. “I didn’t have a vision.”
I nodded and clenched my fingers around the coffee mug. “What did you decide?”
He gazed out into the backyard. “Hunter security guards or not, Nicky’s in danger every second those vampires are out there.”
“So you want to complete the bond?” My stomach was clenched tight.
Reno’s eyes were serious, resolved. But he was still blocking our connection. “I think we have to.”
“And you want it to be temporary.” I didn’t make it a question.
His eyes skittered away, looking first at the kitchen, then down at the tabletop.
He took a breath and met my gaze. “I don’t want to give you false hope.
I want to go into this with the intention of it being temporary.
But Shane—” He ran one hand up and down over the opposite forearm.
“Shane said once we were mated, I might not be able to go through with severing the bond.”
I felt like I was getting thrown around on an amusement park ride, but I wasn’t having any fun. “And you’re okay with possibly being permanently mated?”
He cringed a little. “I’m open to the possibility that my feelings on the topic might change.” He grimaced. “Which I know isn’t fair to you at all.”
Reno’s phone buzzed with an incoming text, and he flinched. The Wonders wanted answers. And then there was Nicky, who’d be in danger until Marcas and Roibeart were dead.
I pressed my palms against the tabletop and closed my eyes. I could sit on this for a few minutes, but I already knew I was going to do it. I was going to bond with Reno even though he might ask me to sever it later. And if he stayed mated with me, I’d always wonder if he regretted it.
I must’ve been a fucking masochist.
Or I was in love with my mate.
I opened my eyes. “Let’s do it.” I glanced outside at Jackson and Nicky. “Can Tucker come over and hang out with them while we’re, uh, busy?”
Reno’s cheeks flushed. We hadn’t discussed sex yet. I wouldn’t pressure him, but my cock was highly aware it might happen.
“Yeah, I’ll call him.” He picked up his phone and I went out to the backyard to wait.
Tucker breezed in forty-five minutes later, bringing donuts and coffee.
“I figured Nicky’s probably never had a donut.
” He carefully didn’t comment on what Reno and I were about to do, just went out to the backyard.
Nicky was basking in the sun with his eyes closed while Jackson attempted to kick a soccer ball.
Reno cleared his throat. “Uh, my bedroom?”
I gestured for him to lead the way. My heart was pounding.
I hadn't been in his bedroom yet. The walls were painted a dusty blue that gave the whole room a feeling of being safe in a romantic cocoon.
When I shut the door behind us, I managed to ask the big question.
“Did you want to have sex, or you know we can bond without it, right?”
His cheeks went even ruddier than they’d been earlier. “I kind of assumed we would? Have sex, I mean. But if you don’t want to, that’s fine, I—”
I put my hand on his cheek. Our magics sparkled together. “If I only get to have you for a short time, I want it all. But I need to warn you that vampires bite during mating. I’ll take a little of your blood.”
His eyes dilated, and his heartbeat sped up. “Will it hurt?”
“Only for a second. Then it’ll feel amazing.” I eased closer, not wanting to spook him. “Can you unblock the connection?”
“Oh, shit. Sorry.” He released his block, and I felt a surge of stress, terror, lust, and hope.
I stopped moving. “Reno....”
“It’s fine. I’m fine. I want you.” He sent over a wave of determination, then he slid his hands under my t-shirt.
I clamped my hands over his. “You’re not very aroused.”
He glared. “There’s a lot of pressure happening here. I was hoping we could make out a little and things would, you know, heat up.”
I huffed an aggravated breath. “Okay, but if you’re not feeling it within a few minutes, we’re doing it the other way.”
He copied my huff. “Fine.”
I smiled. Reno’s prickliness came out when he was feeling defensive or stressed, so my job was to relax him as much as possible. He’d leave this bed knowing how good sex between mates could be. One more thing to make him think twice about severing our bond. “Can I kiss you?”
He nodded, not taking his eyes off mine.
I kept the first kiss soft, delicate even.
Just a taste. But our magics surged together, and when I eased my head back, Reno chased my lips with his.
I let him take the lead for a moment, and he pressed against me, his erection grinding into mine through our clothes as he thrust his tongue into my mouth.
I rumbled a groan into our kiss before tearing my mouth away. “Naked.”