22. 22 – Alyss
22 – Alyss
O pening my eyes, I blink at the gray ceiling. There’s a stain directly over my head.
This feels familiar.
Turning my head, I wince at the soreness. Every part of my body is aching as if I’ve just run—
Oh, that’s right. I pretty much have run a marathon. Half of it holding up a ridiculously muscled man.
You’re way too fucking soft, Alyss Lidell.
The room around me is silent. Everyone is sleeping, or pretending to.
Chess is propped up against the wall beside my head, his ass planted on the floor and his head tilting forward. My eyes travel down to where he’s still gripping my hand on top of the flimsy excuse for bedding they’ve given us.
Squeezing, inside my chest. Swallowing around the desert that seems to have taken up residence in my throat, I glance over at Hatter. He’s on the bed on the other side of Chess; his face turned in my direction.
Deep purple circles linger beneath his closed eyelids, evidence of his exhaustion.
On the other side of me, a bed creaks. I turn to Buck. He has his back to me, his body shifting awkwardly on top of the small mattress before he stills.
I lay there for a few more minutes, my thoughts wandering. I don’t look over at where the twins are sleeping.
When my bladder is yelling louder than the thoughts running rampant through my mind, I slip my hand out of Chess’s and push myself upright, biting back a groan. And then I pause, sniffing.
Wow.
A shower. I definitely need a shower. And a fucking toothbrush wouldn’t go amiss either, although I don’t remember seeing any in there.
I suppose that dental hygiene isn’t something our benevolent overlords particularly care about, since we’re all marked for death anyway.
I’d rather not die with a carpet mouth, though.
I stare down at the filthy, ripped, sweat-stained clothes I’m still wearing and sigh. At least someone removed those fucking shoes. I glare at them as I pad past, toward the door to the communal bathroom.
Still contemplating the sorry state of clothing that I’ll have to put back on after I shower, I don’t bother to knock. Don’t bother to check.
I just walk in.
My body locks up, heat burning a fiery trail across my cheeks. “Uh—,”
Kayden and his twin turn to stare at me.
None of us move.
I’m not particularly averse to nudity. Hell, half the time I prefer it. But the sight of both of them standing there under the water, soap suds trailing down two sets of impressively defined pecs, lower … I swallow.
“Um. Sorry. I’ll just—,”
“Are you okay?” Kayden’s twin reaches out with his hand before I can spin around and make a hasty exit. He looks concerned. “You need anything?”
I shake my head a little frantically, my hands flapping in a weird sort of brush off movement that I don’t ever remember making before. And my fucking voice – I didn’t actually know it could get that damn high. “No! Nope. I’m fine. Very – very fine.”
Oh, god. My eyes drag down his chest, catching the glint of a nipple ring before I whirl. “Shit. Sorry. Didn’t mean to look.”
“You can look.” A low voice. Kayden. “But we’re done. Getting out now.”
I stay where I am, cheeks burning as I fix my eyes on the ceiling and pray for some sort of divine intervention.
I don’t need to look. I don’t.
But damn .
Don’t be such a thirsty bitch, Alyss. You have one. Maybe two.
I pause.
Potentially… three.
Fucking hell. How much dick does a girl actually need?
And now I’m thinking of… group activities, that only stoke the flames higher as I listen to the twins shut the water off.
Then I think of Chess’s reaction if I suggested it. That douses the flames pretty quickly.
Movement at my side, as a hand appears. “I’m Aiden.”
Swallowing, I gingerly take his hand. “Alyss.”
Aiden flashes me a grin. His facial features are identical to his brother’s – the same deep blue eyes, the same nose. Except Aiden has a slight crook in his. Kayden’s hair is short, a buzz cut, whilst Aiden wears his longer. He rubs his hands through it, the chocolate brown curls dark with water as they stick up haphazardly.
I glance down, and back up. “You seem to have no clothes on, Aiden.”
He shrugs. A grin pulls at his mouth. “They didn’t give us towels. There’s shampoo in the dispensers attached to the wall, though.”
Shit. I glance behind me. Kayden is tugging on a pair of the black trousers they wore above ground, his eyes fixed on my face.
“Besides,” he murmurs. “You’re the one who invaded our shower time. Why should we get dressed?”
One dark eyebrow raises as I flush.
I do not flush .
Straightening, I raise a shoulder. “It’s the middle of the night. Figured it’d be empty.”
“Couldn’t sleep?” Aiden’s gaze is penetrating. “You had a busy night.”
“Leave it,” Kayden says gruffly. He strides over to us.
Where Aiden is sleek, built like a swimmer, Kayden is… massive. His shoulders must be at least twice the width of mine, and I sweep my eyes over the skin, taking in the intricate tattoos that curl over his torso. Almost every inch is packed with whirling patterns of ink.
His mouth opens, closes again. Finally, he sighs. “Thank you.”
I blink at him. “Did that gratitude feel as painful as it sounded?”
A small spot of color appears on his cheeks. Aiden snorts, a low laugh escaping him. “She already has you nailed, Kayd. He’s not a fan of relying on anyone.”
Kayden gives him a faintly murderous look. But then he turns back to me. “Why’d you do it?”
Any amusement drains out of me. Ducking around him, I make my way over to the row of showers. They wait behind me as I reach for one knob and turn it to the side until water sprays out.
“You said later,” Kayden says behind me. His voice is quiet, but there’s no hesitation. “It’s later.”
“It is.” I don’t pause before I reach for the hem of my ridiculous excuse of a dress, yanking it up and over my head. A choking noise comes from behind me as I toss it to the side and step under the water. “Shame they couldn’t give us underwear either.”
“Um.” Aiden’s words are strangled. “Should we… turn around?”
I shrug, reaching for the dispenser and assessing the options. Of which there is precisely… one. A squirt of cheap as fuck shampoo appears in my hand when I press down. “Nudity is a social construct. Besides, I walked in on you. This way we’re even.”
“We’re not even.”
I turn, facing them. Kayden steps forward. His eyes flicker down my body before he fixes them on my face, his jaw tightening. “Tell me why.”
I use the shampoo to scrub at my body, over my shoulders, my breasts.
He doesn’t move his eyes. “Nice try, pixie. That shit won’t work on me.”
“Speak for yourself.” My lips tug up as I turn to meet Aiden’s gaze. He’s leaning against the sink, making no effort to hide the heat in his eyes as they trail over my body.
And given his state of undress, I can see exactly how he feels about it. Heat suffuses my cheeks.
“Don’t be shy now,” Aiden murmurs. My eyes fly to his. “What a wonderful contradiction you are, Alyss.”
Breathing in, I look back to Kayden. He’s barely a foot away, a muscle feathering in his jaw as I reach up and begin lathering my hair.
They stand there silently as I wash. If Aiden is heat, Kayden is ice, trailing across my skin and leaving goosebumps.
They don’t offer to leave. I don’t ask them.
Kayden won’t leave without an answer anyway. I can tell.
My hand slaps out to twist the handle, the water draining away. But it’s not Kayden I speak to as I step out from under the showerhead. Aiden straightens as I approach him, water dripping to the floor as I brush past Kayden’s motionless body.
“I know what it feels like,” I say quietly, before he can say anything else. “To lose a twin.”
His face pales, shutters. “You—.”
Ice, behind me. Ice, and heat. Kayden leaves space between us, but I can still feel him. “You lost your twin.”
There’s no question. Only a grim acknowledgement. An understanding of what made me risk everything to save a man I didn’t know.
“Yeah.” I rasp through the razor blades that spring up in my throat, still looking at Aiden. “Like I said. I know what it feels like.”
And I’d never stand by and watch someone else go through that.
The atmosphere shifts, changes. Aiden’s expression softens into something more… vulnerable. The flirtatious humor, the charm, it slips away so easily that I wonder how thin a veneer it was in the first place.
I don’t pull away when his thumb reaches up, brushes across my cheek. “Thank you.”
Hesitation behind me. “What…,”
I turn to face him. Kayden’s eyes glitter, the blue swimming with barely-restrained anger. “You haven’t earned an answer to that question.”
He nods. Doesn’t push. Perhaps he can sense that I don’t want to – can’t – say any more.
Aiden’s voice is a whisper, brushing against my ear as he changes the subject, and I’m grateful to him for it.
“And how exactly would we earn answers about who you are, Alyss? Because my brother and I are very curious.”
Kayden’s gaze flickers. But he nods once, short and sharp.
I swallow. And I give them unexpected honesty, a truth I barely even recognise myself. “I don’t know who I am, really.”
Kayden studies me. “Someone who would save a stranger to protect them from her own grief.”
Another murmur in my ear. “Someone who faces their vulnerabilities without fear.”
I wish that were true. “She sounds like the type of person I would want to be.”
“Whatever mirror you’re looking in,” Aiden says quietly. “It seems to be broken, Alyss.”
I can’t have this conversation now.
“We should get back. They’ll be looking for me.”
Curiosity flickers across Kayden’s face. Aiden shifts behind me.
“ They . They’re yours?” Kayden tilts his head in the direction of the main room. “The three of them? Hatter and Buck too?”
I frown. “I… I don’t know. Maybe.”
Are they mine?
And I draw in a breath, as a finger traces down my spine. Aiden stops before he gets any lower, his finger tracing a pattern across my lower back. “If you should have any vacancies…,”
“… you’ll consider us.” Kayden finishes the sentence. He crosses his arms, as if daring me to call it a joke. There’s no humor in his eyes at all. And no question in his voice.
As if he’s not asking.
Damn it. My cheeks flare again as I gape at him. “That’s not – I’m not building a group here!”
“Aren’t you?” Aiden moves to stand beside his brother as I duck out from between them and back away. He crosses his arms, and they both truly look identical in that moment. “Are you sure?”
“She doesn’t look sure,” Kayden points out, his voice curt.
“No,” Aiden agrees. “She doesn’t look sure at all. Which suggests that there might be a vacancy after all, brother.”
“It does.”
“Stop.” I hold my hands up, blinking rapidly. “There is no vacancy for – for whatever it is you think there’s a vacancy for. The vacancy does not exist.”
“A space, then,” Aiden supplies in a helpful tone. “In your group.”
Oh, god. “ There is no group —,”
“Lyss?”
I jump a mile before I spin around, certain that my cheeks are bright red. Chess blinks at me, his eyes bleary and half-filled with sleep. “You were gone when I woke up. You okay?”
I blanch. It takes him a second.
A few seconds, to lower his eyes.
Any sleepiness in his expression disappears fast. “What the fuck?”
Chess lunges for me, already ripping off his shirt before he bundles me into it. I fight not to roll my eyes, only to groan when Hatter pops his head through the door. His eyes widen as he looks between me and the twins.
And to make it worse—
“Is there a party?” Buck saunters in past him, his lips tugging into a grin as he takes in the three of us. “There is a party. I can’t believe you didn’t invite us, Trouble.”
“See?” Aiden waves his hand. “Like I said. A group. We’d like to join.”
Kayden nods silently.
Chess mutters something unintelligible and highly uncomplimentary under his breath as he tries to wrestle the buttons of the shirt closed. “I can’t leave you alone for one fucking second. What are you, a fucking magnet?”
Exasperated – and possibly a little heated at the visual the twins are creating in my head - I shove him off, throwing up my hands. “Let me make this very clear. There is no – zero, zip, zilch – vacancy for my group. My bed. My vagina. My damn fucking treasure chest. Whatever the hell expression you want to use. All positions are filled .”
Silence. A tense, edgy silence that does nothing to soften the redness that I’m certain has spread across my whole body.
The twins both raise an eyebrow, matching looks of skepticism on their faces.
Hatter’s cheeks are flushed.
Chess looks like he’s about to murder someone.
And Buck grins, wider than I’ve ever seen him smile as he clicks his tongue. “You are truly the most interesting person I’ve ever met, Trouble. Do I have one of these positions?”
“No, you damn well don’t.” Chess snaps. He turns to me. “Right?”
I slap my hands over my face. “There are no fucking positions! For any of you!”
Also, I really need to use the bathroom now.
Chess stiffens, and I whirl on him. My finger jabs into his chest. “Don’t even start with me.”
He opens his mouth to argue, but I shove past him.
I barge into the one solitary toilet cubicle in the corner of the room, acutely aware of the loaded silence directly outside the door until someone – Buck – starts to whistle loudly.
They’re still waiting for me when I come out and stalk to the sink to wash my hands. The five of them – Chess, Hatter, Buck, Aiden, Kayden – they all wait for me to say something.
Instead, I snatch Hatter’s hand and drag him out of the bathroom.
They all follow, trailing after me as I storm toward Hatter’s bed and throw myself down, tugging his hand. “Get in here. Please.”
Chess looks as though he’s about to combust as he looms over me. It’s gratifying. “Why does he get to stay with you?”
I turn to glare at Hatter over my shoulder in silent demand. He looks mildly amused, but he slides onto the bed beside me, his arm wrapping around my waist.
“Because he was the only one who didn’t demand a space in my group. And I need to get some sleep, because this conversation is absolutely fucking ridiculous when we’ll probably be dead in two days anyway, and there sure as hell will be no fucking group then.”
“So there is a group,” the twins say in unison.
Groaning, I bury my face in the pillow. Movement around me. Hatter shifts, his voice low. “Perhaps we can finish this discussion tomorrow.”
“Get out of the damn bed, Lyss,” Chess says through gritted teeth.
I open my mouth, but Hatter responds before I can. “No. She asked for me. She gets me. You can have her tomorrow. If and when she asks.”
And the softness in his voice… it disappears behind steel.
I grin into the pillow as Chess’s footsteps stomp away. “I should feel guilty about that, but I’m so fucking tired.”
I can feel my eyelids dragging down, now that I’m clean.
Hatter reaches over my head, and I seize the bottle of water he hands me gratefully, taking a few swigs until the dryness in my mouth is somewhat soothed. His silence is comforting as I lean back into him, his fingers combing through my damp hair.
“Sleep,” he murmurs. “Tomorrow night will be worse. You need to be as prepared as you can be, and that involves getting some rest. I’ll make sure none of the others disturb you.”
What a wonderfully positive thought. But I’m glad he doesn’t sugarcoat it.
My eyelids flutter, heavy and aching. “Do you think there’s a group?”
His lips press against the side of my head.
“Sorry, Alyss Lidell. But there’s definitely a group.”