Chapter 6
Chapter Six
HOOK
The liquid slips down my throat, cool as silk, peppermint and a hint of something else—a taste I can’t quite put my finger on. But there’s no time to think about it, because a moment later, everything changes.
The ground tilts, or maybe it's me. At this point, who can tell?
Wonderland's already playing tricks on me, and I’m not even properly in it yet.
I'm ready to curse this place and all its theatrics. My lips curl into a sneer—a sneer that’d make lesser men reconsider their life choices—if Wonderland were a man, that is.
I’m shrinking. My coat billows around me like a deflating sail caught in a rogue wind. I try to grab something—anything—but there’s nothing to hold on to. The cavern walls stretch upwards, expanding into impossible heights like some fever dream.
“Holy, goddamn hell” I shout, the words ripping out of my throat before I have the chance to swallow them back.
The entire cavern keeps growing around me, and that damned bottle—it slips from my hand and lands with a pathetic thunk.
I’d say it lies at my feet, but right now, I’m pretty sure I’m the one lying at its feet.
It’s bigger than me now. Big enough that if I had the mind, I could crawl right inside it.
But apparently, Wonderland hasn't had its fill of me yet, because before I can take a proper breath, the ground beneath my boots starts rippling—like someone’s tossed a stone across a glassy pond.
And it’s not just a ripple either—it's waves now, rising and rolling beneath me.
I stagger back, trying to keep my footing, my boots slipping on the wet moss-covered surface.
Before I can go arse over tit, I throw my arms out to the side, trying desperately to stay upright.
A giggle echoes through the cavern, high-pitched and eerie.
The sound bounces off the walls. I spin around, hook raised, ready to cut down whoever's laughing at me. But there’s no one there—just shadows and echoes.
The giggling gets louder, shriller, like a swarm of mocking voices taking up residence in my head, gnawing at my last nerve—which, by the way, is already frayed enough.
“All right, that’s enough,” I snap, glaring into the dark. “I get it—you’re all-powerful and in control.”
The laughter cuts off abruptly, like someone’s flipped a switch. Silence descends, and I’m not sure which is worse. I’m left standing there, listening to the pounding of my own heartbeat echoing in my ears. It’s too loud, but I take a moment to catch my breath, my eyes darting around the cavern.
And then Wonderland decides it’s not quite done with me.
This time, the ground splits beneath my feet, the water draining away through the cracks.
I leap back—whatever’s below, I want no part of it, thank you very much.
But before I can do anything else, something shoots out of the crack.
It rises fast, a monstrous flower with dark roots curling around it and thorns bristling like an angry beast.
The petals unfurl slowly, revealing a face—yes, a bloody face.
Big blinking eyes and a mouth that stretches into a too-wide grin.
“Well, well,” the flower says, because of course it talks.
Why wouldn’t it? Its voice is high-pitched and sing-song, and I know right away that it’s the owner of that awful giggling.
“What have we here?” It leans in closer, and I put my hand to my nose as the scent of pollen hits me—sickly sweet, mixed with rot.
I see it too—pollen falling away from its petals like ash.
“A pirate. All alone in Wonderland,” it pauses after every word, like it’s savouring them.
“What in the ever-loving—”
Before I can finish, another root shoots up and smacks me right across the mouth, effectively shutting me up.
“No, no. Not the place for such language…” it sing-songs, the grin never faltering.
I yank the root away with my hook, giving the flower a glare that has made hardened men beg for mercy. “Touch me again, and I’ll rip every single root out.”
The flower giggles again—a sound that could easily drive a man to madness. “Oh, so feisty.” It blinks those oversized eyes at me. “But what does a lost pirate seek, hmm? Is it gold? Revenge? Or something beyond the end?”
I let out an exasperated sigh, flicking stray pollen off my coat. “I’m looking for my first mate. Have you seen him? Slack-jawed, bumbling excuse of a man, about yay high, scruffy beard, looks like he’d lose a fight with his own reflection.”
The flower blinks—one eye, then the other—before it bursts into laughter again.
I’m glad it finds this so amusing. “A man who fears his own shadow, scurrying like a mouse—yes, I’ve seen him.
” It tilts its head, considering. “He was headed to the palace where hearts are red, where roses bloom but might leave you dead.”
I frown, irritation bubbling beneath my skin. “The Queen’s palace?” I take a step closer, narrowing my eyes at the flower. “And how, pray tell, do I get to the palace?”
The flower’s grin widens, eyes glinting with mischief that makes my skin itch. “The way to the palace is twisted and strange; follow the path where the trees rearrange. Step after step, with patience to spend, only those who persist will reach journey’s end.”
“A riddle, is it?” I take another step toward it, and oh, how I wish I had my sword right now. I raise my hook. “Care to make it a bit clearer, love? Not in the mood for rhymes today.”
The flower shakes with laughter, petals trembling as if they can’t contain their glee.
“Clearer, you say? Oh, but Wonderland loves the unclear. Left or right. Wander or fall—find the path where the shadows crawl. Cross the brook where dreams are lost, but beware the bridge; to pass, there is a cost.”
I let out another sigh, rubbing my forehead with my good hand. “You’re really just here to be an irritation, aren’t you?” I lift my hook. “What if I were to cut you down? Would you tell me then?”
The flower doesn’t flinch. Instead, it leans closer still, eyes bright with glee. “But Wonderland will grow back, Captain. It always grows back.”
I shoot it a glare, grinding my teeth. My jaw aches from the tension. “Fine. Forget the palace. How about a more straightforward question—how do I get out of this god-awful cavern?”
The flower angles its head to look at me, eyes twinkling like I’m the daft one here. “Out of the cavern?” It sways from side to side, petals brushing together as if applauding itself. “Oh, that’s easy. Use the door, silly.”
I blink. “What door?”
The petals tremble again, like it’s trying to stifle a giggle. “Why, that door.” It nods behind me, and I turn, ready to tear into the flower with a few choice words, but then I see it.
There, embedded in the stone wall, is a door. Small, with a brass knob, entirely out of place in this wretched cavern. It looks like it belongs to an old cottage, sitting smugly in the middle of this chaos.
“Well, I’ll be damned…” I mutter, arching an eyebrow. “That was not there before.” I ignore the flower’s incessant giggling as I stride over to the door, giving it a once-over. It doesn’t look particularly trustworthy, but then again, what in Wonderland does?
With a final sneer at the flower, I reach for the handle and push it open.