Chapter 21 #2
“Can…” He digs his heels into the sand, the tips of his ears turning red as he avoids my gaze.
“Can I ask you something?” I’d guess he’s similar in age to Liam, somewhere in his mid-twenties, and his nerves bring a smile to my face.
He’s bold enough to ask but not over-confident like Brody, and from the little I know about Maverick, there’s a lot more to him than what he lets people see, which means I have no idea what he might ask.
“Go for it,” I say, too curious not to.
With his eyes on the river, he swallows and speaks without the hesitation I expect. “Why Donovan?”
My eyebrows jump up. “Why what?”
Though the muscles in his jaw flex, he smiles in an amused sort of way. “You could get the attention of anyone in the world, so what is it about her that caught your eye? I’ve…” He shakes his head, then peeks at me. “I’ve been watching you.”
When he tenses, as if waiting for me to get angry over his admission, I chuckle. “So your interest extends beyond the people you brought from your website?”
He shrugs. “I can’t help it. People are fascinating, even if they’re usually pretty predictable. Usually,” he repeats, looking at me more directly now. “You’re not.”
This is normally when I make an excuse to leave the conversation, when someone sees beneath my masks, but nothing in Maverick’s demeanor makes me nervous. He’s a calm person as it is, but he also has a strangely calming presence. People like that are rare, especially in my life.
“You don’t have to answer my question,” he says, turning back to the river. “I can get nosy when I haven’t figured someone out.”
“Donovan didn’t like me at first.” I clench my jaw, wondering if this conversation is a bad idea.
But when Maverick looks at me with a new light of interest in his eyes, I want to keep talking.
“I’ve gotten used to people putting me on a pedestal, and when she didn’t, I was too intrigued to leave her alone. ”
“You liked the challenge?” he guesses.
Considering that, I shake my head and lean back on my hands. “I liked the way she made me feel normal.”
“Do you not get that with your friends?” He turns slightly red when I raise an eyebrow at him but doesn’t look away this time.
“I’m overstepping. I know that. But that’s why all your friends are celebrities, right?
Because then they’re not below you and you can feel like you’re on even ground when you’re around them. ”
A smile pulls at my lips, as much from his insight as from his growing boldness.
“That’s the thing. They weren’t celebrities when I met them.
Cole was one failing grade away from getting kicked off his college football team.
Freya was famous in Candora, but the rest of the world barely knew she existed.
Bonnie had never had a speaking part. And Liam? ”
I chuckle, thinking back to the day I met Liam.
He was so afraid of performing on a real stage for the first time, even though his first album had gone viral and launched him into fame almost overnight.
“Liam was going to make it big with or without me, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t use a little push before self-doubt got the better of him. ”
“You befriended them to help them,” Maverick says, his brow furrowing.
While that’s accurate, it isn’t the full truth.
There are plenty of people in the world who could use my help, but my friends…
Well, my motives were never selfless. “And because they all had qualities I lacked,” I say quietly.
“Things I hoped I could learn from them. Cole’s empathy, Freya’s stubbornness, Bonnie’s kindness, Liam’s optimism…
” Exhaling, I scoop some sand into my hand and let it slowly fall between my fingers.
Just like my carefully constructed persona has been slipping from my grasp since the moment this trip started.
“Donovan’s strength and determination,” I add. “The way she sees someone’s flaws but finds beauty in them anyway.”
“You’re falling for her.”
It’s not a question, and despite every logical bone in my body telling me to end this conversation, I smile at Maverick and keep my shields down in a way I haven’t done since I was a kid.
Maybe it’s because Donovan has gotten me to talk about things I never talk about, or maybe there’s something about Maverick that makes me want to trust him, but I give him an honest answer. “Probably.”
That’s dangerous, just like Hunter warned me last night, and my chances of doing something wrong when it comes to Donovan are higher than I should be comfortable with. And yet, despite my mistakes and my flaws and my issues, she still seems to like me.
Even when I’m not perfect.
“You’re the love expert,” I say, forcing my focus to Maverick again so I don’t dwell on that last thought. “Can it ever work?”
Snorting a laugh, he shakes his head. “I’m the farthest thing from an expert. A PhD in psychology isn’t the same as practical application.”
A swear slips off my tongue as I consider my unearned high school diploma. “How old are you?”
Blushing crimson again, he ducks his head. “Twenty-five.”
With another curse, I run my hand through my hair and remind myself that I’m not an idiot, even if I don’t have a formal education. If Maverick has a doctorate at twenty-five, he’s far from normal.
Maverick takes a deep breath before he looks at me again, his expression full of apology. “We all have different lives and different strengths. I might be good at studying people, but you’re good for people.”
Something warm blossoms to life in my chest, almost uncomfortable but at the same time welcome. “What makes you say that?”
Smiling, he hops to his feet and brushes the sand from his legs.
“Like I said, I’ve been watching you. It’s more than protecting the people who aren’t brave enough to protect themselves, though that’s a lot on its own.
When you talk to people, you make them feel seen.
” He takes a couple of steps toward the Hopper trail but pauses, looking back.
“And if you really want my opinion when it comes to Donovan, expert or not, people who are used to taking care of themselves have the hardest time letting someone else carry their burdens. Trusting that they aren’t going to leave their baggage on the side of the road when it gets too heavy.
Vulnerability is our greatest weakness, but it’s also our greatest asset. ”
“Why’d you decide to start a dating website?” I ask instead of responding to his advice. It’ll take some time to really process what he said, though I’m pretty sure he’s right.
Maverick grins. “There are two great truths to humanity. The first: people need people.”
I tilt my head. “And the other?”
“We’re all hopeless idiots and need all the help we can get.”
I laugh as he heads up the trail, agreeing with him wholeheartedly on that one. It’s nice to have someone else put into words how I feel sometimes.
As the sun slowly rises, warming the world around me, the rest of camp starts to wake.
There’s an excitement buzzing through everyone this morning, anticipation for the biggest rapids of the week just downstream from here, and I take it all in with interest. Some in the group are nervous, but many have an extra pep in their step.
Thiago is of the latter variety. “Big Drops today!” he says when he comes down to the boats to grab breakfast. “Maybe you will row today?”
I scoff. “I’ll leave it to the experts.” Today’s my last chance to try rowing whitewater, a fact that I’ve been actively ignoring before now.
The whole point in coming out here was to practice, and not just on flat water.
Between now and when filming starts on the river movie early next summer, I don’t have any time to get on a river again.
If I don’t row today, I’ll either go into the stunt practically blind or have to let the stunt team do the scenes on the water.
I hate that I haven’t put in the work necessary to help the movie really shine.
Hate that the audience is going to think I can do something I’ve never done before.
But I wasn’t lying when I told Donovan that messing up here feels big. Too big.
If I get behind those oars, if I make a mistake, I’m not sure I’ll be able to come back from that.
Thiago grins at me as he loads his arms up with food. “In fifty years of rowing, Pops never flipped a boat, and he always got nervous before the Drops.”
I lift my eyebrows. “Really?” Donovan hasn’t flipped a boat either, and suddenly I want to know if the Big Drops frighten her. Probably not. Donovan Tate isn’t intimidated by a bit of water.
Finished with his gathering, Thiago hops back to shore and speaks as he passes me. “It never hurts to try, no? That is the only way to learn.”
Unfortunately for me, it does hurt to try, and at this point, Donovan has stripped me of all the armor that used to keep my flaws safe from view. Now I’m more vulnerable than I’ve ever been.
Vulnerability is our greatest weakness. Maverick’s words ripple through me, and I only wish the second half of his opinion felt as strong as the first because I’m having a hard time seeing my vulnerability as an asset when it feels like there’s no way to move forward with Donovan without causing her pain.
But I’m not sure I’m ready to give up just yet. Glancing behind me, I watch Maverick as he helps Emmett disassemble their tent, and when he looks over and meets my eye, I make a quick decision.
The guy has an incredibly impressive degree that does, in fact, make him an expert in people and relationships, he’s right about one thing: I need help.
If anyone can give me some pointers on figuring things out with Donovan, he can.
And since there are few things I hate more than taking advantage of people, I start making a list of ways I could help boost WanderLove and get Maverick enough business to make his project thrive.
Liam once asked me if I was ever going to find more friends, and maybe it’s time I do.