Chapter 32 #2
“I’ll have Janie get you a bottle,” I say and wave an arm in frustration.
“Score.” Donovan wraps her arms around herself, looking small. “I suppose I’ll leave for a bit and let you sort things out?”
“It shouldn’t take long.”
“I give you permission to not be nice this time around.”
“I appreciate that. Don’t go far.”
“Promise.”
“I love you.”
She takes a step back, shaking her head, but her eyes are glittering with more than tears. “You don’t mean that,” she says at full volume.
I point at the door and talk through my teeth. “I mean every word.”
“Derek.”
“Go.”
Still shedding impressive tears, she trudges to the door but stops halfway there, turning so her back is to my mom. “Love you back,” she mouths with a warm smile, and then she’s back to utter misery as she slinks out of the suite.
The curse that slips off my tongue is a reaction to how quickly my hesitation with my feelings has shifted to complete certainty.
How did that happen? But the word is also because I’m incredibly attracted to Donovan’s acting skills and wasn’t lying when I said I’m desperate to kiss her.
Needing to hold her in my arms is turning into a bone-deep ache that might never go away, and nothing about her walking away feels right.
But my mom is staring at me with poorly hidden satisfaction, so I let all my breath out in a heavy exhale and run a hand down my face. “You knew,” I choke out.
“That’s why I’m here,” Brenda replies. “As soon as I read that story and realized she was using you like your so-called friends have done, I knew I had to come.”
Nothing in that article hinted at Donovan using me, or even that the woman I’m allegedly dating is Nova Tate. The article hasn’t even been live for an hour, and Brenda told me herself that she lives in California. At bare minimum a two-hour private flight away. She was here already.
Clenching my jaw, I resist the urge to call her out on her bull and explain to her how my friends are some of the best people I know.
I still need to hear from her why she’s doing all of this so I know how to stop her.
“Give us a minute, guys,” I say wearily, looking from Hunter to Janie.
“Are you sure?” Hunter asks at the same time Janie points at her phone where I left it on the couch.
“Out!” I bark, hating my harsh tone as I watch them slip out to the hall. I should give them both a raise. Ten percent at least. Or maybe I’ll just name them as my beneficiaries because there’s a good chance a one-on-one conversation with my mother is going to be the death of me.
As soon as we’re alone, I slowly move to the couch and sink onto it. “I didn’t know you paid attention to stuff like that,” I say, like it’s some grand revelation.
She’s hesitant, but Brenda makes her way across the room and sits on the other end of the couch, her back straight and her fingers fidgety. When she picks up Janie’s phone, still open to the Hot Scoop story, she can’t hide her triumphant sneer, and it takes everything in me not to roll my eyes.
Clearly I did not get my acting talent from my mother.
“I pay attention to everything in your life, Derek.” Her voice is sickly sweet, without a hint of real warmth. “We’ve had our differences in the past, but you’ll always be my son.”
By blood, maybe, but that doesn’t make her a mother. “I don’t know who to trust anymore,” I say, letting my voice waver. “It feels like no matter what I do, everyone around me is out to take advantage of me.” Including you, I don’t add.
She reaches over and puts a hand on my shoulder, and I have to resist the urge to shy away from her touch.
“I tried to warn you of the dangers of fame when you were a child, but you wouldn’t let me help you.
I understand why you were angry with me back then, but I’ve always been here for you, Derek. ”
I scoff. “You wanted to use me like everyone else.”
“I was in a bad place.”
“You seem fine now.” I let my eyes fall to the hand on my shoulder, where the enormous diamond glistens in the sunlight coming through the sheer curtains.
“Yes, well, the heart isn’t always right the first time. Love is complicated. I know you were interested in Nova, but she’s clearly not—”
“Why should I listen to anything you say to me about love after what you did to Dad?” I shift my shoulder away from her hand and furrow my brow as I meet her steely gaze.
“You hurt him, and then you blamed me for your divorce. I was a kid. And you wonder why I struggle to trust anyone who gets close to me.” At this point, I’m not sure any of this is acting. The pain certainly feels real.
With a heavy sigh, Brenda lets her eyes trail over the article on the phone in her hand.
“You’re too good of a man to see what I see, Derek.
You’ve let people into your life who are no good for you.
It’s not your fault. If that worthless father of yours had actually made an effort to raise you, then maybe—”
“Stop.” I jump to my feet as a flood of emotion ripples over me.
This isn’t where the conversation was supposed to go, but the pain in my chest is making it clear that it’s something I have to talk about if I’m going to move forward with my life.
“No, he wasn’t a picture perfect parent, but at least he didn’t blame all his problems on me.
He didn’t fill me with guilt that followed me for years.
He let me forge my own path, and for that I owe him all of this.
” I wave my arms around the suite before turning my focus back on the woman in front of me.
“So why would I ever trust you when you did the opposite?”
To her credit, Brenda doesn’t cower beneath my question.
She sits tall, blue eyes so similar to mine fixed on me as she takes a breath.
“Because you have no one else,” she says eventually, her words calm and measured.
“Your friends let you fix all their problems for them and have now moved on. Your little river fling hid her real identity from you and is using you to regain the fame she lost. Even your idiotic assistant isn’t loyal to you like you think she is. ”
I clench my jaw. Janie’s definitely getting a raise after this. If this is what she’s been dealing with for a year and a half, I’m sending her to an all-inclusive resort in the Bahamas for however long she wants to stay. “You’re lying.”
Brenda shakes her head and holds up Janie’s phone. “I’m not. And if you need proof, it’s all right here. She’s been feeding Hollywood Hot Scoop information about you and your friends from the moment you hired her.”
Taking a step back, I let the tension in my body waver as I stare at the phone like I already know what horrors I’m going to find. “I don’t believe you.”
“I tried to warn you so many times, but she never let me reach you. And now look at where you are. You have no friends. You can’t date because everyone wants your fame. You can’t even take a vacation without someone trying to use you. You’re alone, and you know it, Derek.”
Nothing she says is true, and yet her words still sting. She really thinks so little of me and my ability to build relationships? She’s either blind or delusional. Or maybe she’s projecting her own issues onto me. I have no idea, but I’m ready for this conversation to be over.
“I have only ever wanted what’s best for you,” Brenda says and slowly rises to her feet. She must have taken my silence as agreement, which is fine by me. “I made a mistake when you were a kid, but I’ve been trying to fix it every day since. You just have to let me in so I can.”
“How?” I croak.
Inching forward, she poorly fights a smile as she approaches me. “I have connections.”
I can’t stop the eye roll that comes from hearing that. “So do I,” I grumble back.
Undeterred, she continues moving until she’s right in front of me. “Connections with Hollywood Hot Scoop?”
She’d better be about to tell me how she has any power over that website. I doubt she’s smart enough to have started it, and if my suspicions that she wrote the latest article are correct, she isn’t one of their main writers either. So how has she gotten behind the scenes?
“No…” I admit with as much reluctance as I can put into the single word.
Brenda lets her smile loose and puts her hand on my arm. “Then let me help you, Derek. Let me be your family again.”
“Let’s not go crazy,” I mutter, but I allow her hand to stay where it is. “So, you have connections, but how is that supposed to help me?”
“I can see stories before they’re posted.” Excitement colors her words. “If you let me into your life so I know what’s true and what isn’t, I can make sure they only say good things about you from here on out.”
A solid plan, aside from the fact that someone who truly had my best interests at heart would prevent any stories about me from circulating at all, good or bad.
It’s never been a secret that I value my privacy, however little of it I actually get.
But Brenda seems to think this is a miracle she’s prepared to give me, and my curiosity still hasn’t been satisfied.
“Who’s your connection?” I ask.
She tsks. “Let me handle that side of things. You deal with enough already.”
She’s an imbecile—anyone who thinks they can manipulate their way into earning someone’s love is idiotic—but she’s not entirely stupid. She’s keeping the details of her connections close to the vest and doesn’t seem to fully trust me. I can respect that; I don’t trust her either.
I might be playing more of a long game than I planned.
“Okay.” The word tastes sour, but it’s the one I need to say.
Brenda’s eyes go wide. “Okay?”
Folding my arms, I nod once and settle my stance somewhere between confident and overwhelmed.
“If you can help me out of this mess, I’ll think about opening up some sort of communication with you.
” I won’t make any promises I don’t intend to keep, nor is it a good idea to completely stray from my usual independent nature, but hopefully this is enough to convince her she has a chance so she lets down her guard.
What I really need is time, and that’s something I have in painfully short supply.
“I’ll do what I can,” Brenda says, and there’s an edge to her tone that tells me she’ll only give as good as she gets. “Keep that assistant of yours close.”
I narrow my eyes. “The one who is apparently stabbing me in the back?”
“She’ll be useful to us both.” With a pat on my arm, she heads for the door with her head held high, and I can’t for the life of me figure out why she thinks she’s about to get everything she’s ever wanted.