Chapter 34
Chapter Thirty-Four
Derek
I’ve known exhaustion before, but this is hitting a new level.
I didn’t know a person could be this tired after sleeping as long as I did last night, but I can barely keep my eyes open.
The worst part is we’re no closer to figuring out exactly how my mom is connected to Hollywood Hot Scoop than we were six hours ago, so all of this time feels wasted.
Well, not entirely wasted.
Donovan hasn’t left my side all day and doesn’t seem inclined to change that fact.
Right now, she’s tucked under my arm on the couch, her bare feet on the coffee table and a look of concentration on her face as she scrolls through Hot Scoop’s website for the dozenth time, searching for any clues we might have missed.
When she hits the end of an article, she yawns wide and shifts herself closer to my body, as if she hasn’t been as close as she can be since the moment we sat down.
I want to suggest we take a nap, but before I can open my mouth, she leans forward and picks up a fortune cookie left over from lunch, chucking it straight at Elliot’s face where he’s been asleep in a chair for the last ten minutes.
Elliot opens his eyes right as the cookie nears him and somehow manages to catch it before it hits him in the nose. “Nice aim,” he says, his voice scratchy. “Next time don’t let the plastic make a noise.”
“How does he keep doing that?” Donovan whispers to me.
“I have no idea,” I whisper back.
“Superior genetics,” Elliot replies and tosses the cookie at his bodyguard, who’s sound asleep on the floor. It bounces off Rothesby’s forehead without waking him, and Elliot snorts a laugh, muttering something in Candoran that sounds affectionate. I struggle to fully translate it in my exhaustion.
Though I consider reminding Elliot that our genetic makeup is barely different, there’s no point in countering his claim.
Besides, this is the longest I’ve ever had his uninterrupted attention, and I’m quickly realizing how much I like being around him.
How much I hate that we didn’t get to grow up together.
I’ve only seen him and Freya once in person since Freya was crowned queen back in October.
With Elliot’s coronation, I doubt either of them will be able to come to California very often, and my schedule has no room for trips to the North Sea.
My time with my brother is limited, just like it is with Donovan.
I’ve already stretched this out longer than I should have.
My plane was supposed to depart from the Canyonlands Field Airport three hours ago to take me back to LA.
Janie rearranged for the flight to leave tonight, which is pushing things.
I need to be back in California for a table read in the morning and an afternoon ADR session to rerecord some dialogue, which I had to delay because of the whitewater trip.
The press tour for my next release starts in three days, and since it’s my costar’s first release since coming back from maternity leave, she’s nervous about getting back into the swing of the job.
So many people are counting on me, and yet all I want to do is stay right where I am.
“We’ll figure it out, Derek,” Elliot says, furrowing his brow.
“Not if you keep dozing off,” Donovan argues playfully. “For a king, you’re surprisingly good at slacking off.”
“Watch yourself, Hollywood.”
Donovan sticks her tongue out at him.
I’m definitely too tired if I’m jealous that she’s directing her tongue at Elliot instead of me.
But logically knowing that she’s teasing my brother and not flirting with him—and that he would never in a million years be unfaithful to Freya—doesn’t stop me from scooping her up in my arms and moving her from the couch to my lap.
“What are you…” She trails off when her eyes catch on mine, and as her arms loop around my neck, I’m immensely glad Hunter and Janie are out at the pool right now so we don’t have a full audience.
Just Elliot, whose gaze is a bit too fixed on us for my liking.
“Don’t you have a country to help run?” I grumble at him.
He shrugs. “Not really. I won’t have much power for at least six months, and even then I’ll mostly be a trophy husband. You can kiss her, Derek. I don’t mind.”
“I mind,” I complain. “I didn’t ask you to come.”
“Be nice,” Donovan says, kissing the corner of my mouth. “He’s here to help.”
“He hasn’t helped at all.”
“To be fair,” Elliot says calmly, “I know next to nothing about Brenda and plan to keep it that way. And unless you figured out who she’s married to in the last ten minutes, you’ve found as much useful information as I have, Bigshot.”
“You’re more than welcome to head back home and let me handle this,” I growl.
Elliot sneers. “Where would be the fun in that?”
“Yeesh,” Donovan says, moving herself back to the cushion next to mine. “If anyone was still questioning whether you two are brothers, they don’t need to anymore.”
Groaning, I palm my face and remind myself that I should be glad that Elliot is here, even if he’s currently the only thing keeping me from kissing Donovan for what might be the last time in a long time.
“I don’t know what you did to Derek this week,” Elliot says, sounding entirely unfazed, “but thank you.”
I drop my hand to stare at him. “What are you talking about?”
The grin he gives me carries less amusement and more genuine happiness. “Except when we found out we were brothers, this is the first time you haven’t kept yourself reined in. You’re letting yourself be human.”
If only he knew…
“Hey,” Donovan says and takes my hand. I’m more than happy to turn my attention to her because I have no idea how to respond to Elliot. Or I am until I see the way her eyebrows pull together. “You should tell him.”
“Tell me what?” Elliot says, even though Donovan hardly spoke loud enough for me to hear. He reads lips too well, a talent that would drive me crazy if it wasn’t one I’ve learned too.
As my chest grows tight with anxiety, I link my fingers with Donovan’s, not needing her to explain what she means.
I want to tell Elliot about my struggles with perfectionism and the panic that comes with it.
I want to tell all my friends. Considering I admitted the truth to a woman I had known for a matter of days, it should be easier to talk about now than it was before. But that doesn’t mean it’s easy.
My issues have caused a lot of problems for my friends, so I’m going to have to work up the courage to come clean.
“Not today,” I decide out loud, and look at Elliot. “I’ll tell you someday, but I’m not going to be able to focus on anything else until we figure this out.”
Sighing, Elliot stands and stretches his arms over his head.
“Okay, so… We know Brenda has ties to Hot Scoop,” he says, thankfully accepting the change in subject for now.
“We still don’t know who owns it, though chances are good it’s whatever guy she has in her life, whoever he is.
The site grew in popularity after that first big article about you, even more so when they started talking about me.
” He smirks, prompting me to roll my eyes.
“So Brenda is good for business,” Donovan says, taking over the recap. “Except, she went too far with today’s story, and Hot Scoop is getting backlash from some of their diehard fans because—let’s face it—I’m extremely lovable.”
“Yes, you are.” I kiss her temple. “Brenda claims that her goal has always been fixing the rift between me and her, and with the way Hot Scoop talked about you, Elliot, I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s after you too.”
“I’m going to disagree,” Elliot says, folding his arms. “She pitted us against each other from the beginning and has never once tried to contact me, not even after I surpassed you in wealth and influence.”
“Not sure that last part’s true,” I mutter under my breath, though it’s not like it matters if he has more money than I do. Maybe I’m just speed-running through the three decades of sibling rivalry and jealousy that I was deprived of.
Chuckling, Donovan pats my arm, silently telling me that she heard my grumbled remark. “You’re her greatest mistake,” she says to Elliot, who salutes her. “All of this started when Derek discovered you, and with you in his life, he doesn’t need her. So she’s doing what she can to change that.”
None of this is new information, which means we’re just talking in circles now. “We’re missing something,” I say wearily, “and we’re clearly not going to get anywhere on our own. Either she’s going to have to show her hand, or we’re going to need help.”
“Donovan really did a number on you,” Elliot says. “Derek Riley asking for help? Now that’s a story worth telling.” He barks out a laugh.
Rothesby suddenly gasps and sits up straight, looking around wildly. “Sir!”
“Still alive,” Elliot says with a roll of his eyes. “No need to panic.”
Rothesby leaps to his feet. “I’ve failed in my duty to protect—”
“Don’t start,” Elliot warns, but his bodyguard keeps professing his sincerest apologies, slipping into Candoran as he begs Elliot to dismiss him and replace him with a more competent protection agent.
Groaning, Elliot takes the man by the shoulder and leads him out of the suite while trying to reassure him that his job is perfectly safe and they should both take a nap before they head back to Candora.
The door closing behind them leaves the suite in a silence that Donovan quickly breaks with a snort of laughter. “Who’s taking care of who in that relation—”
I cut off her words with a kiss so forceful that she falls backward, taking me with her so we’re sprawled together on the couch, still locked at the mouth.
I’ve wanted to taste her like this all day, and I’m not about to waste a moment alone.
Shifting most of my weight to one elbow, I slide my other hand into her hair and drink in the way she digs her fingers into the muscles of my back and matches my desire beat for beat.
Kiss for kiss. I could stay here forever, and she’s giving me a compelling reason to do just that as she moves her hands up to my hair.
“I’m not complaining,” she says after a while, gently pushing me back to break the kiss. Her words come out breathless, and her eyes are hazy. “But we should talk.”
I would much rather continue what I’ve started, so I pepper kisses along her jaw and down to her neck. “We’ve been talking for hours.”
Gasping when I reach her collarbone, she pulls me up to bring my mouth back to hers. “About us,” she clarifies in between kisses. “And also about how you weigh a million pounds.”
Chuckling, I tuck my arm beneath her and pull her against my body so I can maneuver us both, twisting until she’s on top of me instead of the other way around. Then I kiss her again, relishing how good she feels against me.
“Derek,” she says on a groan and lifts her head, giving me a warning look that carries plenty of heat.
I sigh. As much as we both seem to want to stay in this bubble, she’s right. Our time is quickly coming to a close. “I love you,” I say, needing that to color everything that comes after.
Donovan runs her hand through my hair. “I love you too.”
“And I want to believe that it isn’t a fleeting love.” That thought sobers me. I still can’t make her any promises after such a short time of knowing her, no matter how much I want to.
Smiling softly, she brushes her fingers over my cheek and nods. “Same. But I know who I am and what my fears are.”
“And I know what my life is like,” I reply. “If this is going to last, we need to give it time.”
She drops her head onto my shoulder and presses her hand over my heart. “I have river tours most weeks until mid-September, so we won’t have any way to communicate except on weekends. Even then, I’ll have day trips to run.”
“You work too hard.”
She snorts. “Look who’s talking, Superman.”
Brushing my fingers through her hair and pushing it out of her face, I consider our options.
There aren’t many. “We’ll talk when we can.
And maybe Janie can work on consolidating my schedule so I have a better chance of visiting you when you do have a weekend free.
Private jets were made for moments like these. ”
She lifts her head to roll her eyes at me. “I still don’t understand how I fell for you, Derek Riley. Not when you say things like that.” But then she kisses me, and any fears that might have crept up from her comments are smothered by her lips. “What are you going to do about your mom?”
“Wait.” I shrug. “Hank is friends with a private investigator who might be able to look deeper than we can, but it’s going to take time.”
“Time.” Donovan sighs and rests her chin on my chest. “Before I met you, I couldn’t care less about time passing, but now it feels like I’m stuck desperately waiting for time to pass so I can get to something good.”
I know how she feels, and yet I’m also wishing time could fully stop for a while so I don’t have to say goodbye to her.
There’s already a hole forming in my heart where she exists, and leaving it empty for the next few months is going to hurt in a way I’ve never experienced before. I’m not sure I’ll be able to endure it.
Donovan laughs softly and reaches up, brushing her fingers beneath my eye. They come away wet. “Who’d have thought Derek Riley was a crier?”
“I wasn’t until you,” I admit, blinking away more tears. “You broke me, Donovan Tate.”
She shakes her head. “I want to think I set you free. The same way you did to me.”
If anything, I trapped her in a public life she actively stayed away from, and now I worry she’ll never escape it again.
No matter how many times she tells me she’s okay with being thrust back into fame because of me, I need to try to fix this.
I need to figure out how my mom is pulling strings so I can take that power away.
For the sake of my friends, for Donovan, for me.
One way or another, I’m going to end this, and then I might finally be free.