Chapter 39 #3
As great as that makes me feel, there’s something he’s not saying, and I furrow my brow as I watch him study the countertop like it’s the most fascinating thing he’s ever seen.
I’m guessing he already knows what I’m going to ask and isn’t keen to answer.
“What about your friends, Derek?” His silence speaks volumes, and my jaw drops. “Derek! Have you even talked to them?”
“I can’t,” he admits, finally meeting my eyes again. “I’ve tried, but every time I go to make the call, I choke. I almost ruined their lives because my mom tried to go on a power trip by association with me. If I hadn’t worked so hard to get to the top, Brenda never would have—”
“First of all,” I say sharply, pointing a finger at him, “Brenda isn’t your mom.
She gave that up when she put all her shame on a six-year-old’s shoulders.
Second of all, you’re not the one who tried to ruin your friends’ lives, and you know it.
So do they. If anything, they’re better off for knowing you. ”
He sighs heavily. “They’re fine without me.”
“Fine isn’t happy, Derek.” Slipping off the stool, I circle the island to stand in front of him and take his hands.
“I was fine this summer, but that didn’t make me miss you any less.
It didn’t mean I wasn’t thinking about you most of the time and wondering if you were okay with your mom still out there.
Yeah, your friends are probably fine, but if I was this excited to see you and talk to you face to face after knowing you for a week, I can’t imagine how desperate your friends are to see you. You have to go back.”
He lowers his head until his forehead is against mine, his eyes shut tight. “Donovan.”
“Not just for them, but for yourself. Your life is in California.”
“Only half of it.” He leans back to look at me, so many emotions behind his eyes. “The other half is here with you.”
Sheesh, he really knows how to make a girl blush, and I’m pretty sure I’m in danger of spontaneously combusting.
Even at the height of my career, I doubt I ever could have looked at someone the way Derek is looking at me now.
Not even on a set as part of a script. At this point, I no longer remember a time when this man wasn’t firmly rooted in my heart.
Pressing my hand to his cheek, I steel my nerves and put every ounce of confidence in my words that I can muster.
“Then I’ll come with you.” He’s already shaking his head before I finish talking, so I take his other cheek to hold him in place.
“I said I would come to you, Derek. I meant it then, when I thought you were going back to LA, and I mean it now. You need to go back, and I need to be wherever you are.”
“I’m not letting you give up your rivers, Donovan.”
“Good, because I fully plan to be on the oars as soon as May comes around. But until then?” I lean up on my toes and press my lips to his. “I’m all yours, Superman.”
His hands wrap around my waist, holding me in place while he does his best to read my feelings in my face. I’m not going to let it be that easy. Not when he’s silently trying to change my decision. Eventually he gives up trying to see past my mask, and he sighs. “You’re serious.”
“As a Class V.”
“My friends are going to be pissed at me.”
“Yeah, but they’ll get over it.” Smirking, I run my hand through his thick hair in a poor attempt to smooth it away from his face.
He needs a haircut, and as much as I like the beard, it could use a close trim if he’s going to step back into Hollywood.
He looks right for the wilderness, but he’s a bit scruffy for the spotlight.
“I’ll be by your side the whole time,” I tell him when I feel the tension in his shoulders.
He’s genuinely terrified to face his friends after staying away for so long.
“As long as you promise to stay by me while I go up against my own demons in LA.”
He winces, closing his eyes again. “I would never make you face that alone, but—”
“Then it’s settled.”
“Donovan.” Frowning, he opens his eyes again and lets me see the pain he’s feeling. “I’ve been away too long. I don’t…” He shakes his head. “I know I need to go back, but I’m terrified.”
With my heart aching for him, I pull him close and hold him tight. “You’re coming up on your rock, Derek, and you know what you need to do.”
Wrapping his arms around me, he takes a slow and deliberate breath. “High side,” he says airily.
“Exactly. Go toward the hard thing and trust the current to get you through. Besides, you have me now. I’ll get you through this rapid safely.”
“With an expert in my boat, how could I fail?”
“Even if you do fail,” I tell him, “it’s okay. There are spare oars, rescue ropes, and other boats entirely. You’re not alone anymore.”
He relaxes and pulls away, a tear slipping from his eyes. “You’re right. About everything. I may not be perfect, but you are always right, Donovan Tate. I’ll be better about remembering that going forward.”
“Good.” I lick my lips as silence builds between us, and though Derek’s gaze drops to my mouth with interest, I figure he’s spent enough time avoiding his friends. “So, we’re going to Los Angeles?”
He sighs. “Yeah.”
“To talk to your friends about why you disappeared?”
His lips quirk up in the smallest of smiles. “Yep.”
“Anything else while we’re at it?”
“Yes, actually.”
“Oh?” I frown. “And what might that be?” If he says anything about getting me in touch with a casting agent or something, I’ll rescind my offer to go with him. Maybe.
Though Derek’s smile grows wide, there’s still a healthy dose of reluctance in it. I brace myself for his suggestion to put myself out there again, but what he actually says is so far from what I imagined that it doesn’t make any sense.
“It’s time for me to meet my step dad.”