Chapter 4
Serena
I’m standing by the window, playing with one of my dolls, the air feels really weird, with tension that you could cut with a knife. I hear my mom’s soft whisper outside my door.
“Mommy!” I say, watching her silhouette moving towards the front door. I run towards her, tugging on her pants. “Where are you going?” she doesn’t look back.
“Mommy, please don’t go,” I beg.
My mom pauses, casting a brief glance over her shoulder. I see the fear and confusion in her eyes. “I have to, sweet girl. You’ll understand one day.”
Tears begin to fall down my cheeks. I don’t really understand what’s going on. “Can I come with you?”
I’m pulling on her pants trying to cling onto her, but my small hands didn’t do much force. Mom shakes my hands off her and her eyes… I’ll never forget the look in her eyes, it was dark and cold, no lo nger vibrant and filled with joy like when she would play dollhouse with me.
The door clicks shut and I feel my chest hurting, my heart crumbling into a million pieces. I feel a wave of unknown feelings ripple through my small body, abandonment, lost and alone.
I hear the car door slam shut outside and the distant engine roar to life. The house is too quiet now. I stay still by the front door, thinking she’ll come back in a few minutes. They feel like hours.
Dad comes in after some time along with Aunt Lina. He picks me up in his arms and cradles me off to bed.
“Where’s mommy?”
I see the look in his eyes. It’s not the same look when he talks about mommy. The look of love and adoration. He’s scared.
“Mommy went somewhere.”
“I want to go with her.”
We’re in my bedroom now and he gently tucks me into bed while sitting at the foot of it.
With a quiet sigh, he says, “Mommy wants to be alone. I’m so, so sorry, love. ”
I bury myself in the covers, the warmth offering a small sense of security. “Will she come back?”
Dad hesitates, “I hope so, love. I really do.”
“She never came back,” I mumble in my sleep, “She…she never came back!” I’m jolted awake by my nightmare. The recurring nightmare that haunts me almost every week.
Gasping for air, I sit up in bed, drenched in sweat. The nightmare lingers, wrapping around me in a suffocating way. It’s a memory I wish I could erase, but it replays like a broken record.
My breaths come out in uneven bursts, and I wrap my arms around my knees, seeking protection. The room feels too silent and cruel, like always.
“God, I can’t believe she’s still keeping me awake all these years,” I mutter to myself as I rub my forehead.
I lay back down, hoping sleep will find me again. But it never does. When I have these nightmares, whether it’s a replay of my mother leaving me or the news of dad passing away, I can hardly ever fall back asleep. When I do, it takes a couple of hours at most. On those nights, I stare at the ceiling, just dreaming, thinking, practically anything to distract me from my past.
Scrolling on my phone, I notice that there’s a text message from Alli that came in around 1 a.m., after I went to bed .
Alli: hey, there’s a lake party going on at lake norman tomorrow night.
Alli: it’s something the upperclassmen does every summer before school starts. we should go!
Translation: we’re going and I’m not taking no as an answer.
It’s 3 a.m., if I shut my eyes now, I’ll probably be asleep around 6 a.m. Here’s hoping the monsters in my head take a night off.
Alli picks me up from my house around 6 p.m. We’re skipping all the lake festivities and showing up just for the cabin party.
“You look so cute. Very summery and showing off some skin.” Alli points out as she glances at me from the driver’s seat. “I’m so proud of you!”
I’m literally just wearing denim shorts with a black tank top and Birkenstocks. I’m a sheltered girl who doesn’t go out very often, so my outfits are always casual and cozy. Alli has tried so many times to give me a closet makeover by lending me her clothes, but it never works out. I put effort into it, I really do, but I don’t know… I mean, trendy clothes look so cute when I see them on social media, but I’ve never felt confident or comfortable wearing them. Maybe I’m just a picky person .
We’re cruising down the scenic route to the end-of-summer lake party and I can’t help but feel a rush of excitement and nerves hit me all at once. The breeze plays with my hair as I gaze out the window at the fading sunlight, painting the sky in shades of orange and pink.
I pull my phone out and snap a picture of the summer skies. I absolutely adore taking photos of the sunset.
“I still don’t understand why you like doing that.”
“Doing what?” I ask, scrolling my camera roll to change my wallpaper to my new favorite sunset.
“Taking pictures of the sun.” Alli makes a right turn, Lake Norman almost in full view. “You know, if you stare at the sun for too long, you’ll be blind.”
I set my phone back in my lap as Alli parks outside the lake house. “Good thing I’m taking pictures, not staring.”
“Still don’t get why you do it. I get it was a trend for a while, but we’re past that.”
I sigh as I unbuckle my seat belt, “Sunsets are the skies’ poetry. It’s beautiful.”
“Alright, Shakespeare,” she chuckles, “don’t say that to any of the hot guys at the party. You’ll scare them.”
I study the spacious lake house in front of me. Holy shit. It sits there, all lit up and buzzing like it’s hosting its own party. Music’s blaring out of open windows, and you can smell the barbecue from miles away. The deck is decorated with cushions and twinkling lights, making it the place to relax for the summer. People are all over the place, laughing and chatting, some sneaking off for a dip in the water. It’s a summer vibe on full display.
“Wow,” I say in awe, “It’s just like in the movies we watch.”
“Welcome to your first and last Skyline lake party!” Alli says while clapping her hands together.
The closer we get to the house, the louder the music becomes, and the more frantic the party seems. Confident by Justin Bieber pumps through the speakers, setting the tone for the evening.
“Is it always like this?” I ask Alli as we weave through the crowd, dodging half-drunk teenagers.
Inside the lake house, the atmosphere is electric. The living area is partly a dance floor. Bright lights flash and bounce off the walls, people are everywhere, either talking or dancing, while some are playing beer pong or pool. The air is filled with excitement, laughter, and the occasional “woo” as someone scores a point in a game. Snacks are found at a nearby counter in the kitchen, and a makeshift bar area offers an array of drinks.
“Yeah, Skyline parties are popular in Charlotte. Some kids come from two, or even three towns over because ours is better. ”
I nod as we step into the bustling kitchen, its countertops lined with an assortment of snacks and drinks. I reach for a cold Coca-Cola, the condensation running on the can as we take a minute to settle in.
“So, what’s the plan?” I question, taking a sip of my soda.
Alli twists her water open. “Plan?”
“Yeah.”
“ Dios mío ,” Alli mumbles, “Whatever the night has in store for us. Just go with the flow, you know?”
“Oh, right, right.” A couple more people our age come into the kitchen, and I watch them grab beers from the coolers next to us. I glance at Alli, “You’re not planning on drinking, right?”
Alli shakes her head. “No, of course not.”
“Sorry for draining the fun. I’m just…”
“Do not apologize.”
Before Alli can go into her speech about not apologizing again, a stranger walks up to us, nodding his head to say hi to me then looks back at Alli. There’s this contagious energy that surrounds him. “Alli! Come play pool with us.”
Alli looks at me first before answering her friend. “Um, maybe later?”
“No, go play pool. ”
“Are you sure?”
“Positive. Now, go kick some ass, chica.” I say, nodding with a smile.
Alli laughs, joining her friend as they head off to the pool table, leaving me to navigate the party solo.
I weave through the hype crowd of teenagers that are either tipsy or plain loud. There’s clusters of teenagers dancing, chatting about their vacations, summer flings or taking Instagram photos. I make my way toward the back door, craving some kind of peace from the buzz of the house. Stepping onto the deck, I’m greeted by a sudden gust of fresh air, a relief from the chaos inside.
The night sky stretches above, decorated with twinkling stars that contrast to the bustling event. Leaning against the railing, I take in the picture-perfect view of the lake, letting the natural beauty wash over me.
I let out a soft sigh. “Maybe parties aren’t for me,” I say to myself.
A voice from behind calls, “Not a fan of parties?”
I turn to find the guy from Boba Republic the other week standing there, his presence both surprising and oddly nice. Since I had assumed he was a college student, I never expected (though maybe secretly hoped) to see him here tonight. I feel myself blush at the memory of being caught blatantly checking him out .
“Hey,” I say, my tone relaxed. I’m lying, I’m not actually relaxed, but fake it until you make it, right?
I continue, “It’s kind of crazy inside. I thought I could get away for a bit.” My gaze wanders back to the lake, and my hand finds the hair tie on my wrist, making me pick at it anxiously.
Tyler leans against the deck’s railing next to me, in a casual stance. “Yeah, I get that. Parties can be overwhelming.”
Silence that settles between us, and it’s not awkward, surprisingly.
“It’s funny running into you here,” Tyler remarks, breaking the silence first. “I didn’t think I would see you again.”
I raise an eyebrow playfully. “Afraid of running into the boba girl at a party?”
Wait, why am I calling myself the boba girl? Smooth move, Serena, really smooth. You’re talking to the hottest guy you’ve ever seen, and that’s the best you could come up with? I can see those Skyline gossip pages now, Serena Inthavong, newest senior, also known as boba girl .
Tyler chuckles, his eyes filled with amusement. “More like surprised to see someone else who appreciates quiet corners at these things. Most girls are usually taking selfies or trying to play beer pong .
I chuckle softly. “Well, I’m not good at either one, so I’d rather not embarrass myself.”
“ Too late, you’re already embarrassing yourself ,” inner me says.
“ Shut up ,” I mentally retort back.
“Definitely not.”
I turn my body slightly to face him and lean against the wooden railing. “What about you?”
He raises a brow at my question, not following.
“I mean, why are you out here and not in there ?”
Tyler tilts his head slightly, considering the question. “Honestly, I’m not into parties like that anymore.”
“What’s changed?”
“Priorities, I have responsibilities now.” He responds nonchalantly.
That makes me raise an eyebrow. “Responsibilities?” If he’s at a high school party, he’s likely around my age. So, I wonder what’s changed specifically for him. College applications? Family? The need to be perfect? Oh no, that’s me.
There’s a small part of me who can’t help but hear a glimpse of my own struggles in his words .
His eyes crinkle at the edges, and he shrugs. “College stuff, work, and trying to figure out life, I guess.”
“ Life . Don’t you just love it?” I ask with a nervous smile playing on my lips.
“Love it and hate it,” he repeats with a chuckle, the sound relaxed and easy like we’ve been friends forever. “It’s a mixed feeling.”
Silence greets us again. It feels comforting, I bite the bullet and ask a question that’s on the tip of my tongue. “Can I ask… why do you hate life?”
“That’s a loaded question to ask a stranger.”
“You’re not a stranger, you’re a customer. We’re practically besties.”
There must be something in the water. I’m normally not that confident. Is Alli channeling her confidence into me through dark magic? Okay, just play it cool. You can do this. He’s just a really hot guy talking to you. You got this .
It gets a laugh out of him. “True.” He doesn’t say much for a couple of minutes, and I stop myself from insisting. Didn’t want to scare him. “People come and go is all I’ve learned. I hate that part of life. It’s cruel when people leave.”
“I get it. ”
“You do?” His eyebrows raised in surprise.
I nod, unraveling a piece of my history to him. “I don’t know. When people leave, I think you… grieve them in a way? I did, at least, for a long time… Mainly because I was so young. And time just,” I shrug, “helped me adapt to life without them.”
Tyler’s expression softens like he knows, maybe feels what I’m putting out there. “You just find a way to live without them.”
A peaceful hush comes over us as we watch the shimmering lake. It’s so weird of me to spill my secrets to a stranger. It’s not like me to do something like that, but I feel comfortable with him like I can trust him.
“Do you ever feel the need to be perfect?”
“All the damn time,” he responds, which makes a small chuckle escape my lips.
His easy laughter relaxes me, and I find myself drawn further into the conversation. “Why do you feel like that?” he asks, his eyes curious as they meet mine.
“I don’t know, I’m kind of hard on myself. I hate making mistakes. The need to be perfect probably stems from that.”
“I get it.” He says and we both look away. “People expect a lot out of you sometimes. It’s hard to live up to everyone’s expectations of you. It’s like once you meet it, what do you get out of it? Praises. When you fail, you disappoint everyone, and you feel like you let them down. It’s exhausting.”
“Yeah,” I nod, feeling the weight lift slightly as I share thoughts that I never told anyone, not even Alli. “I’ve never told anyone that.”
“Well, thank you for opening up to me.” He responds warmly, a genuine appreciation in his voice.
“Besties, remember?” I say with a light grin, trying to ease the conversation with a touch of humor.
“Do you, uh, want a drink?” He offers, gesturing back to the lake house with his thumb.
“I’m not drinking tonight, but thank you.”
“That’s cool, I’m going to grab some water.”
“Okay, see you around, Tyler.”
Tyler hesitates, his body language tells me he doesn’t want to leave yet.
“Did you need something?” I ask.
Tyler rubs the back of his neck, a shy expression crossing his face. “Uh, will you…”
“Still be outside avoiding the party? ”
Tyler chuckles, a faint blush coloring his cheeks. “Yeah. I’m not feeling socializing with a bunch of drunk teenagers.”
“Yet here you are, socializing with a wallflower.”
“Yeah, I guess.”
I raise an eyebrow playfully. “Go get your water, Tyler. I’ll be here.”
He salutes, offering a small smile before heading back into the house.
Just like that, I realized what just happened. A strange moment of openness with someone I barely know. It’s odd–how easy and comfortable I was able to open up about my thoughts and insecurities. I don’t typically do that, especially with strangers. Those thoughts are saved for my therapist.
“What am I thinking? I probably scared him away,” I mutter under my breath, rolling my eyes at my overthinking. Why am I even worrying about this? It’s not like Tyler is some super important person in my life. He’s just a guy I happened to run into twice already.
But I can’t shake off the familiarity in Tyler’s manner, a sense of ease that makes it feel like we’ve known each other for a long time. How is that even possible after just one conversation?
“Serena! There you are!” Alli calls in a yell, the urgency in her voice slicing through my thoughts. “We need to go! ”
“Go? Why?”
“The police are down the street, we need to get out of here!” Without hesitation, she takes my wrist and pulls me along, darting through the yard toward her parked car. In less than five minutes, in between dodging the hurdles of teenagers rushing to leave, we’re in her car and the lake house is out of sight.
We speed away from the party, and I catch myself stealing glances back at the house, wondering if I’ll ever see Tyler again.
“What just happened, Alli?”
We’re back on the main road now, Alli turns on her blinker to exit onto the highway. “That, chica, was your first lake party.”
“That just got shut down by the police.”
Alli shrugs like it’s an everyday occurrence around town. “It happens.”
“Like, at every party?”
“Nah, not all the time.”
Taking a deep breath, I suddenly burst into laughter, with Alli joining in. “Welcome to the best era of your life.”