Chapter 8 #2
The woman’s eyes widen, not in a bad way, but like she’s putting a name and face together.
“Oh. Jade, right? I’ve heard a lot about you.
It’s nice to finally meet you.” Her smile is polite as she poises a pen on a notepad to collect our order, while I’m still stuck on how she’s heard about me in the first place.
Josh must sense my unease when he throws out a random order, and Candice disappears.
Sitting on the edge of his seat, Hunter hitches a thumb toward the games. “I’m gonna go play.”
Josh pulls a stack of ones out of his cut and slaps them on the table. “Have at it, kid.”
“What do you say?” I chide when Hunter snatches the money and runs to lord over the pinball machines.
“Thanks!” he crows over his shoulder.
Josh and I chuckle at his lack of manners. That’s a teenager for you. I swear only half their brain cells operate at a time—the other half runs on heightened hormones and sugar.
When I turn to Josh, he knows what I’m about to ask even before I open my mouth. “Hunter and I come here a lot.”
They do? Since when?
He continues, “You’ve been dealing with a lot since… well... you know… To give him some place to unwind, I bring Hunter here.”
I frown. “How did I not know this?”
“Depression and anxiety can steal a lot from a person. Including time.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I did.”
“When?”
“Here and there. Whenever I’d drop food off and Hunter was sad, I’d take him for a while. We’d grab a bite and play some games to take his mind off stuff.”
Oh.
I don’t know what to say to that. Sure, Josh has always been around.
Even when Hunter was little, he played with him all the time.
He was there when I taught Hunter how to ride a bike.
He and Loretta were his cheering section.
Every year, when they started school around the same time, he had a little something for Hunter on his first day.
For kindergarten, it was one of those plastic toy dinosaurs.
In second grade, it was a light-up yo-yo.
After he graduated, he still showed up for the first day of school.
While I don’t remember every year, I remember most, which is why I don’t understand why I don’t remember this.
Swallowing an entire boatful of mother guilt, I massage the tension building in my temples. “Me. You took him to get his mind off me.”
“Not exactly,” Josh hedges and cuffs his hand around the back of my neck.
I hang my head. “I’ve been a terrible mom.”
Josh squeezes my nape gently and pulls me against him, forcing me to rest my head on his shoulder. “No. You haven’t. You’re healing.”
“I can’t believe I didn’t know,” I mutter to myself, horrified that I could have just forgotten. My son was gone, and I didn’t know where he was.
Pressing his lips to my hair, Josh kisses me there. “It’s okay. Hunter’s solid.”
Emotions clog my throat. “Be-because of you.”
“Not just me.” Josh’s arm spans my shoulders, keeping me locked to his side. His warm breath heats my head as he speaks. “He wouldn’t be like he is if he didn’t have a good foundation. Just remember that.”
“I…”
He jostles me gently. “Don’t. Please don’t. If I can get past my mother being a shit mom, and still love her, and all that stuff, he won’t hold what happened to you against you. Healing isn’t some destination. We’ve talked about it a lot. He understands.”
He does?
“You’ve talked about it a lot?” I whisper in shock.
“Yeah. I check in with him every day.”
“Even this week?”
Josh chuckles warmly, as if he finds my questions cute, not intrusive. “Yep. Even this week.”
And they didn’t tell me that either?
“Does he text back?” I ask, knowing how Hunter is with me. Unless it’s some hot girl or his buddies he plays video games with, he doesn’t care to text.
“If I text, yes. If I call, he picks up.”
My eyes round. “You call him?”
“Why do you sound so surprised?” Josh chuckles.
I shrug. “Because… I… I didn’t know.”
“You thought I only checked in on you?”
My mouth opens and closes. No words come, so I shrug again, lamely, and string together something coherent. “I…I don’t know what I thought.” Definitely not this.
Josh kisses the top of my head. “In case you couldn’t tell, I love the fuck outta you. You’re my family. Both of you.”
“I…” Words escape me, just… poof. I pull back to stare at Josh as if I’m somehow seeing him for the first time.
His smile is easy. His eyes are bright and happy as he relaxes in his chair and slowly drinks his bottle of beer.
He doesn’t press me to talk, and his fingers never leave my shoulder as people wander over to say hey.
When a round of burgers and fries arrives, mine has a dippy egg on top, just as I like it.
The runny yolk runs down the sides of the patty and bun and onto my plate as I eat.
Josh doesn’t dig into his food. His gaze burns into the side of my face, and when I peek over, he’s smiling.
It should make me uncomfortable. Almost everything the past week has been, but this is… nice.
For hours, Hunter munches between games, and Josh makes small talk with those who drop by.
I keep to myself, stuck in my head, overthinking, as I people-watch.
Music from the jukebox drowns out the din of the bar as the place grows more crowded.
When Hunter suckers Josh into shooting a round of pool, I follow them over to the table but stay out of the way.
A brunette in short shorts and a sparkly pink tube top saunters over in cowgirl boots, showing off her smooth, tanned legs.
I even see her appeal when she flirts with Josh.
I can’t hear what they’re talking about, but between plays, she rubs his arm and laughs at what I assume are jokes.
She does that typical twirling hair thing that all young women do when they like what they see.
She’s here with a group of friends. They’re all dressed the same.
They flash her thumbs-up and wide-eyed grins when Josh isn’t looking.
But I am, while standing against the wall, beside a glowing beer sign, sipping ice water from a straw.
It’s crazy being out in the wild again. I haven’t done this in ages.
A certain green-haired, pierced, and heavily tattooed man lumbers into our part of the bar and spots us right away.
The women at the table almost swallow their tongues and fall out of their chairs when they see him.
I cover my mouth, trying not to laugh, as Viper chin lifts at Josh.
For some stupid reason, he moseys his way over to me, wearing what could only be described as a pornographic smile.
The kind that has women’s panties going up in flames.
He props his back against the wall beside me and playfully knocks his shoulder into mine. “Long time, no see, ink lady.” He winks in that suave, I-know-I’m-hot-AF way.
Fortunately, for me, I know Viper, and his charms don’t work on me. They never have. But it doesn’t make him any less entertaining, though.
Rolling my eyes, I knock my shoulder back into his. “Hey, horndog, Magoo.”
Viper snorts. “What kinda nickname is that?”
I shrug a single shoulder. “A new one I’m trying out.”
“Then I suppose I’ll let it slide, seein’ as this is the first time I’ve seen you out in forever.”
“We’re trying new things.” Eating in a bar, working out, and other things like sleeping in bed together, but that was a onetime thing, and I’ll take that to my grave.
Stepping in front of me, giving the bar his back, Viper cages me in with his arms on either side of my head. “Does that include me? You can try me.” He licks his pierced bottom lip and waggles those brows like the manwhore he is.
I laugh and slap both of his pecs to shove him away. “Oh. My. God. Shut up. You’re gross.”
Not one to back down, he gives me an extra inch of space when he cocks his head to the side and grins like a goddamn pussy thief. “What? My dick not big enough for you?”
Another laugh rips from my throat at his silly display. “Ew. You’re a terrible flirt.”
“That I am, ink lady. That I am.” Viper winks. “But seriously, it’s good to see ya.” He chucks my chin.
I snicker. “Yeah. It’s good to see you, too.” Any woman who lands him will have her hands full for life.
He jerks his chin toward the jukebox. “You wanna dance?”
“You dance?” If he means tango in the sheets, I get it, but on a floor, with clothes and shoes on… I never would have pegged him for that kind of dancer.
“Hell yeah.” Viper quickly glances over his shoulder. “If I want one or, well, four of those women over there to let me dick ‘em down later, then yeah, I dance. Bitches love bikers who dance.”
Sure, they do.
I snort and grin until my face hurts as Viper steals my hand and drags me over to the tiny space that works as a makeshift dance floor in front of the jukebox. I wrap my arms around Viper’s tattooed neck, which I tattooed, as he respectfully places his hands on my wide hips.
“No funny business, huh?” I tease as we sway to some random, overly twangy country song.
“You’re a sacred sister,” he answers, like that explains everything, and I guess it does.
The brothers respect their women. Most of them do, anyhow.
What’s weird, though, is I’m not really a sister, not in the official sense.
I’m not an old lady to one of the Sacred Sinners, and I didn’t grow up on the compound.
“Are you Hunter’s ride? Is that why you’re here?” I ask as we sway like teenagers at a high school dance, and he pretends the women at the table don’t exist. But I sneak a peek, and they’re on the verge of drooling.
“No. I’m here for backup. We’re at war. We don’t let our own out in the wild without backup. I just got tired of sittin’ outside. Deke’s sittin’ at the bar. He’s Hunter’s ride.”
Right. I don’t know how that slipped my mind. Of course, they protect their own.
“Do me a favor and rest your cheek on my chest and pretend you’re obsessed with me.”
I laugh at his dumb shit. “I’m afraid to ask… but why?”