Chapter 10
JADE
Another morning, I wake with light streaming through my windows.
Heat envelops my back as something thick and hard prods my ass.
When I look down, not only am I naked, but there’s a hand gripping my boob.
A familiar hand. I wait for fear to set in.
The horror. The embarrassment. But it doesn’t.
Josh’s clean, masculine scent fills my head as his sleepy breaths puff across my neck, both soothing and tickly.
I must have screamed again. Why else would he be here?
Lifting the random throw to my chest to conceal what I can, Josh’s finger grazes my nipple. On a sharp intake of breath, I shiver as my arm hair stands on end. It’s been over a decade since anyone has touched me there with care.
“So sexy,” he groans in my ear and grinds his thickness against my backside.
I stiffen and hold my breath. When his hand snakes down, down, down, to cup me… there… I gasp. It’s loud and squeaky, and it wakes Josh right up. Ripping himself away from me, he falls off his side of the bed, onto the floor, in a mess of limbs.
“Fuck. I’m sorry,” he croaks, shoving his back against the wall, beneath a window.
“It’s okay,” I soothe, knowing he didn’t do it on purpose.
He shakes his head hard. “No. No. It’s not. I didn’t ask permission.”
Wait.
“What are you talking about?”
“I didn’t ask to touch you, there. Christ, Jade. Can you please cover it up?” He eyes my bare chest, and I yank the blanket up to my neck.
Heat singes my cheeks. “Oh. Sorry. I…”
“No. No.” He waves me off, closes his eyes, and pinches the bridge of his nose. His forehead wrinkles like he’s in pain. “You didn’t do anything wrong. Fuck. I…Look. It won’t ever happen again. I must’ve been dreaming. I don’t know. But I’m sorry.”
“Josh. It’s okay.” He needs to calm down.
“It’s not. It’s really not. I was pissed last night and now this.”
“I could tell you were mad. You know you can talk to me. Viper was doing what he does.”
“I’ve handled the Viper situation. That won’t happen again.”
Sitting up, I tuck my legs under me and keep the blanket firmly in place. “I don’t need you to protect me, Josh.”
On a yawn, he rubs the sleep from his eyes.
“That’s not what I’m talkin’ about. He’s my brother.
He doesn’t get to just…” Pausing a beat to gather his thoughts, Josh clears his throat.
“Look. I’m sorry for last night and… that.
” He notches his chin at me. “I would never intentionally touch you there without your consent.”
Rolling my eyes, I snort. “I know that, silly…”
Hold up.
Did he say without my consent? But…
My voice wobbles when I add, “You’d want to…ask… for…ya know?” I look down at my covered parts. The parts he’s referring to. Since when would he want to do that?
Tilting his head to the side, all adorable puppy-like, Josh’s lips twitch. “You’re sexy. Why wouldn’t I?”
Oh.
Ohhhh.
I grip the blanket tighter to my chest as this weird sensation swirls in my stomach. “Wait. You’re…You’re…” I shake my head. No. I’m not going there. Nope. Not happening.
Josh’s blue eyes bore into my mine when he says, “Attracted to you? Yes. If you permitted me to eat your pussy, I would.”
What?
“Josh!” I whisper-scream.
Running a hand through his bedhead, he flashes a whole lot of tattooed bicep as his lips stretch into a Cheshire grin. “What?”
Why the hell does he have to go looking that attractive in the morning? It should be illegal.
“You can’t say that,” I admonish with a quivery voice.
He bends his knee and rests an elbow there. “Why not? It’s true.”
“You would not want that.”
There’s no damn way.
“Jade. Seriously. Yes. I would. You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. Trust me. I’d want to.”
Oh.
My jaw damn near hits the bed. “Josh!”
Getting off the floor, the muscled biker adjusts the bulge in his boxers and leaves. He doesn’t say a word, he doesn’t rush, he just goes, leaving my bedroom door open in his wake… and I’m left… reeling, feeling things.
My pussy gives a cursory clench like she’s feeling things too.
Nope. I’m not going there. Not now. Not ever.
Shaking off the morning chaos from my mind, I get out of bed, take a quick shower, and get dressed before heading to the kitchen to meet Josh, where we eat oatmeal and fruit in awkward silence.
Every time I look at him, he’s staring almost painfully into his oatmeal, swirling the contents around, lost in thought.
And I hate it.
Because I did this to him.
If I didn’t scream, he wouldn’t have come in to sleep with me. I don’t know what’s up with my brain lately. It has never been this bad before. Then again, I don’t remember the terror or the nightmares. I don’t remember taking my clothes off.
To repair this weirdness between us, I bump Josh’s bare toes with mine under the table. He jerks, and the raspy gasp he emits is pornographic.
Our eyes meet across the table, and my heart ratchets up my throat as butterflies go berserk in my belly. Goosebumps flare across my arms.
Biting his bottom lip, Josh’s nostrils flare. “Jade.”
“Will you do that thing?” I ask and carefully set my spoon down, so I don’t drop it.
“Do what?”
“Touch me… there.” I flick my gaze down to my… ya know.
The sexiest groan rumbles in his throat. “Just so we’re on the same page, you’re asking me to go down on you?”
Clasping my hands in my lap, I gather the courage to say it. To just… give in. “Maybe…” I squeak. “No… Yes…” I clear my throat, and on a nod, a firm, “Yes,” makes an appearance.
“You want me to put my tongue in your pussy?” Josh licks his spoon clean like he’s picturing doing just that, and I catch fire, squirming in my seat.
“Josh.” I stare in wide-eyed wonder at the utensil, and he smirks as his tongue slides over the edge.
“What?” he rasps. “I need to know exactly what you’re asking of me.”
Swallowing hard, I force myself to speak. “I’ve only had it twice.”
“Ever?”
“Y-yes.”
“How did I not know this?”
“Because we don’t talk about sex.” Ever.
Josh sets the spoon on the table. “Well, we damn well better start now. Christ, only twice?”
“Don’t make it sound so bad. I don’t date. You know I don’t. I… I know I’m old and it might be gross…” What if they tainted me down there? What if it’s… revolting?
Josh slams his hand on the table, making me and the silverware jump. “Don’t you ever say that about yourself again. It’s not gross.”
“It… it could be. Who knows what it looks like after those men…” I shrug, trying hard not to think about it and failing. They tore me open. I didn’t see a doctor for it. They didn’t let me. It feels normal when I wash, but I haven’t spent much time inspecting it. I haven’t had the heart to.
Josh’s gaze softens around the edge. “Babe, I’m sure it’s perfect.”
“If it’s not, can you tell me?”
“You’re sure you really want to do it?”
“Sometime. Yes. I want to try. If you’re okay with that. You don’t think your mom will be pissed if she finds out, right? I should probably talk to her.” It’s not every day that you let your best friend’s son touch your pussy. There’s a rulebook somewhere that probably says as much.
“What happens between us is none of my mom’s business. Whether she’s your best friend or not, this is us. Not her.”
I bob my head. “Right. You’re probably right. I just don’t want her pissed at me.”
“She won’t be.”
“Promise?”
“Yeah, babe, I promise.” Josh’s lopsided grin says he believes this won’t cause a rift in our friendship.
“Right. Right,” I mutter. “Sure. We’ll do it. I…”
“There’s no rush. You tell me when, and I’m there. No questions asked.”
“Thank you.”
“Don’t thank me now. You can thank me later, when you’re coming on my tongue.” He winks.
When my face bursts into flames, I dive back into my breakfast with a shaky hand and a strangely wet pussy.
Just talking about him down there, touching me, has me fidgeting in my seat.
I’ve never thought about it before. Wanting that.
But the sisters love it. They go on and on about how much they feel cared for and worshipped when their men do that.
Fuck. I can’t even say the words. How embarrassing.
I’m a grown woman. This is ridiculous. My brain is broken.
Which, I suppose, it is, if I asked Josh, of all people, to do it.
He’s my best friend’s son, and a full decade younger than me.
This is insane. No. It’s more than insane.
It’s wrong. I can’t do it. Not really. Not to him.
He also has a girlfriend, and that makes me the other woman.
Ugh. I’m an idiot.
It's okay. The fantasy was fun while it lasted—no big deal.
“So, what are you doing today?” I ask to make small talk as we finish our breakfast and pretend we didn’t just discuss him going down on me.
“After we eat, we’re gonna work out, then I’ll take you to work. After that, I’ll hit up the clubhouse to check on Hunter and work a little. Then I’ll pick you up after work.”
“On the bike?” I ask, hoping it’ll be the Tahoe.
“Yeah.” Josh chuckles. “It’ll be the bike. Do you have an issue with that?”
“No.” Yes.
“Liar,” he teases, poking my foot with his under the table.
Pursing my lips at him, I give Josh the stink-eye. “Fine. Yes. It’s too—”
“You’re safe with me, Jade. I like havin’ you on the back of my bike. I’m gonna have Deke install a backrest, so you’ll be more comfortable.”
“You don’t have to do that.”
“Sure, I do. All the sisters prefer ‘em, and I plan on havin’ you on the back of my bike a lot. So, I want ya comfortable.”
On the back of his bike a lot. I don’t know how to feel about that.
“I can drive myself to work and home,” I add instead.
“I know you can, but I like doing it. Just as much as I like cooking for you and all that.”
Not wanting to argue with him, I rub the edge of the tabletop with my finger. “You’re too good to me.” And Hunter. And his mom. And the club.
“No, I’m not. I just take care of what’s mine.”
“And I’m yours?” I speak to my lap, afraid to look him in the eye.
“Yes. You always have been. Same for Hunter.”
“What about Bitty? How does she feel about that?” I can’t imagine her being okay with this.
Josh knocks on the table, and I look up to find his sharp stare focused on me. “We’re not talking about her, babe. We’re talkin’ about you. Now, do you want to go out to dinner again tonight after work or hang out here?”
“Here’s fine.”
“Want me to grill some steaks?” Josh’s brows hitch to his hairline, and that mouth splits into a toothy grin. Oh. He knows just how to get me. Hook. Line. Sinker.
Playing right into his game, I smile, and damn near leap out of my seat. “I love steak.” Far too much.
“Fuck.” He laughs. “You’re adorable. I’ll pick some up for us then.”
“I can do the potatoes.” It’s the least I can do, given he’s grilling.
“And mushrooms?” he throws out, sounding far too hopeful. Now who’s the adorable one? The bright-eyed blond across from me. It should be illegal to be that handsome.
“Yes. If you get them, I’ll cook them.”
Sitting forward, Josh places both palms on the table. “Brownies?”
I chuckle. “Oh. I suppose.”
Grasping his heart, Josh pretends to fall off the chair, swooning, but he catches himself before he meets the floor. “I knew you were the one for me. Mushrooms and brownies. I’m done for.”
Smiling like a loon, I wave him off. “Stop it. It’s just food.”
“I love when you cook.”
“I know you do. It’s been a while.”
“Which is why we’re gonna do it together.”
Not knowing what to say to that, I hum and do my best to ignore the strange warmth flittering through me. I haven’t baked in ages.
After breakfast, we put on workout clothes, and Josh tortures me with another weight-lifting session in Loretta’s garage next door, which he converted into a gym when he was in high school. It’s not much, but it beats driving into town to use the local gym.
The shower afterward is refreshing, and when Josh drops me off at work, I’m damn near floating in my blue fifties-style dress when I enter the shop. Pixie comments on my radiant glow as I prepare my station for any walk-ins we might have today.
For once, I’m looking forward to something.
Tonight.
Dinner.
Time with my friend.