Chapter 14
JADE
Beer-scented puffs of air tickle my cheek as a boner prods my backside.
Someone’s tattooed arm locks around me. A palm splays across my stomach as a certain man cuddles me from behind.
I don’t know when he slid into bed, but I’m relieved he’s home.
When I went to look for him after our… whatever that was, he was gone.
Brew texted to let me know White Boy was at the clubhouse.
I didn’t expect him to make it back tonight.
“Jade, are you… are you… away? Awake. I… I love you,” he whisper-slurs against the shell of my ear before peppering sloppy, open-mouth kisses across my shoulder. “I love you so much. Please don’t be pissed I wanna marry you.”
“Josh.”
“Hmmm?”
“Why do you want that?” I ask, though I probably shouldn’t, given his state of intoxication.
“Soulmate. You’re mine.”
“But I don’t believe in those.”
“That’s okay. I’ll believe it enough for both of us.”
“Josh.” He’s so sweet.
“Babe. I jusss… I jusss wanna make you happy. I wanna take care of us… our little family. My son.”
“Are you talking about Hunter?”
“Hmmmm. Yep.” Josh nods against my shoulder. “My son. He called me dad. I… fuck… Sorry.” He hiccups.
“It’s okay.”
“Can we have five more of him?”
I grin. “No.”
“Can we at least practice?”
“Josh.” A tiny giggle escapes.
“What? You’re… so hot. The sexiest woman I’ve ever met. My dick only works for you. See.” To prove his point, the man rubs his hard-on against my butt.
Trying hard not to laugh, I reach around and playfully slap his thigh. “Oh. Stop it.”
“It’s true. I broke up with Bitty.”
“When?”
“Tonight.”
“How? Wait. What?”
“She’s with Viper now. I’m happy for them.”
“Bitty is with Viper?” What the hell?
“Yep.”
“You’re okay with that?”
“Of course. I couldn’t give her sex anyhow.”
How is that possible?
“What do you mean?” I ask.
Pressing his lips against my shoulder, Josh mumbles, “I…I’m a virgin.”
“What?”
“Shhhh. You can’t tell anyone. It’s a secret.”
“Josh. You’re not a virgin.”
“What… constipates…constitutes, no virginity?”
“Sex.”
“But not oral?”
“That’s still sex.”
“Babe. Come on. I have never put my dick in anybody’s pussy or ass. Only hands and mouths.”
My eyes widen. “Oh.”
“Yeah. Virgin. Like I said.”
“How drunk are you?”
“Very,” he slurs.
“Are you gonna remember this in the morning?”
I sense him shrug. “Maybe. I don’t know.”
“How did you get home?”
“Brew.”
“Your bike is at the clubhouse still?”
“Yes. The asshole made me ride bitch.”
“Ah. So, you rode home.” I snicker.
“Yes. Home. I fuckin’ love it when you say that… Jade?”
“Yes?”
“My dick is so hard right now because it’s touching your butt.
You have the sexiest ass I’ve ever seen.
And the sexiest tits. And your pussy… I’m gonna have it for breakfast in the morning.
Can that be my breakfast? I’ll make you pancakes with brown sugar and butter.
All the butter. Would you let me lick butter off your nipples?
Fuck. I’m gonna come just thinkin’ about your nipples…
Ugh. I need to stop talkin’, huh? I’m sorry about everything… . Fuck. I’m drunk.”
“Yes. You’re very drunk.” Smiling so hard my face hurts, I bite my bottom lip to stifle a laugh. Gosh, he’s adorable when he’s smashed. I can’t tell you the last time I’ve ever seen him this intoxicated.
“I don’t want you for your body. Jusss so we’re clear. You’re the whole package. I’ll still marry you even if you never wanna have sex with me. See…”
Leaning up on an elbow, Josh reaches across me, grabs my left hand, and slides a ring up my finger. That finger. The important one.
I can’t see it in the dark, but I can feel it—the weight of the band and whatever jewel is set in the middle.
His hands are damp and shaky as he glides it past my knuckle. “I carry it with me everywhere. Now it’s yours.”
“Josh,” I gasp.
“Just wear it. Please. You don’t have to say yes. Just wear it.”
So I do. I wear it. Because it’s late, I can’t argue with a drunk man, and today has been a tornado of emotions.
When I don’t reply, Josh sighs as if he were waiting for a blowup.
When it doesn’t come, he settles behind me and kisses my shoulder as he draws little designs across my stomach.
I shouldn’t feel safe in a drunk man’s arms with his member still against my bottom.
But I know Josh. He would never take things too far. Not in the sexual regard, anyhow.
Sleep eludes me as I play with the ring, lost in thought. Josh mumbles in his sleep and wakes now and again to hug me a little tighter.
For hours today, I sat in this very room, in this same bed, drawing tattoo flash to avoid dissecting what happened between us. The only man in my life went down on me and said he wants to marry me. A man who's seen the good, the bad, and the ugly bits of me.
I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t attracted to him.
I’d be lying if I said I didn’t need him in my life.
He and Loretta are my constant—my ride or die.
He’s called Hunter’s his more than once, and Hunter called him dad. I can’t think of a bigger compliment.
Last month, I rested in bed just like this, staring out of my window, into the starlit sky, plotting my death. My cheek was on this pillow with the same blanket draped over my legs. But the person behind me wasn’t there to keep me warm and fight the bad guys with me.
I don’t know what tomorrow brings.
I don’t know much these days…
But I’m no longer dead inside.
I feel stronger than I have in months.
And that’s because Josh gave me a part of me back. A different version of me. A me who would be dead if not for him. A me who has a loved and supported son thanks to him.
Deep down, I know I should be spiraling, but I’m not. For once, I’m solid. I’m safe… and I’m grateful to have this big arm around me, even if he needs a shower.