Chapter Ten
Scout
Sometimes you have to accept your punishment.
Lying in Sebastian’s gigantic bed, bare beneath him as he hovers over me, I hope he realizes this is no form of punishment. I went days without him. Without his pine and smoke scent, without his big, hard body pinning me beneath it, without his rough hands on my skin. It was the worst punishment of my life, and I did it to myself.
Later, I will tell him I never even got out of the county. I drove until I couldn’t stand to drive another mile. It was as if I was trapped in his orbit. I could not escape him; he said that earlier. He has no idea how true it is. I had to come back and hope he would welcome me home.
Lying in bed with him looming over me, big, beautiful, his skin golden in the dappled light of the afternoon, I have my answer. I am home. He is my home. Even after I walked out on him. After I stayed gone for days, it has not changed. With him is where I belong, and we both know it for certain.
“Truth or dare, honey?”
Smirking up at him as he licks his lips, I answer just as he expects me too. “Dare.”
“Show me you belong to me, Scout. I. Dare . You.”
“Tell me how,” I whisper as I wiggle beneath him, desperate for him to take me, to fill me, to claim me once and for all. For good. For keeps.
Licking his lips again, he cocks his head. Thinking about how to torture us both. How to punish me for hurting him. I earned it. I have whatever devious thing he thinks up for me coming.
“You want my cock, but you have not earned it yet. Since you thought you would be fine without me, show me how you would get off without my cock. Without my mouth . Without my hands .”
Trembling beneath him, I nod. I know what he wants. Sebastian wants me to be vulnerable for him. To show him I know he is what brings me pleasure. He is who I want, who I crave. Nothing else, not a toy, not my own hand, and definitely not another man would ever come close.
“Yes, baby,” I purr as I stretch out beneath him, still shaking.
Sitting back, he nods at me to go on. Nodding back, I close my eyes as I slide a hand down between my spread thighs. I should be ashamed of how wet I am after sucking his cock, but he loves it so why would I be? As my fingertips brush over my swollen flesh, I moan as bolts of pleasure hit me. I spread the sticky folds open, baring my sex to him as I slide two fingers between the wet slit.
“So, fucking pretty,” he bites out, eyes locked on my hands. “Look at me, baby. Eyes on me while you play with your needy pussy.”
Again, I obey him without hesitation. I lock my gaze on his as I spread myself further, my fingers trembling as they rub at my clit. It’s swollen and aching, and I wish my fingers had the magic his do. I rub faster, faster, my back arching beneath my touch.
“That’s it,” he hums, his rough hands sliding up my thighs. “See how needy your cunt is,” he growls, shocking me with his filthy words. They just make me hotter, make my pussy wetter as he pushes my hand to shove my fingers inside me. “Greedy to get filled with my cock. That is what your little pussy wants, yes? My thick cock filling you with my cum.”
Stunned by his rawness, his crudeness, I shake as he pumps both our fingers inside of me. I nod, needier than I have ever felt, on an edge I cannot go over without him inside of me. “Yes, yes, I want you inside me. Please.”
“Tell me why. Tell me why you need me, Scout,” he murmurs even as he fits himself between my thighs, lifting them at his hips to press closer.
“Because...I belong to you, baby. I am yours, Sebastian.”
Sebastian lets out a feral growl before he slams home inside of me, making me come the second he’s as deep as he can go. I cling to him, fusing my mouth to his as he dips his head. His tongue swipes almost angrily at my lips before stroking my tongue gently. He thrusts hard, long, pounding thrusts that shake us and the bed, banging it against the wall.
“Yes,” I pant against his mouth when his hand wraps around my throat. “You can punish me for going. I won’t again. I won’t ever go,” I cry out as I come a second time, the pressure of his hand on my throat and the rock of his cock against my clit sending me tumbling over the edge again.
“Ah, fuck,” he grits out, his head dipping again, teeth sinking into my shoulder. “I love when you come with me inside you. Jesus, it’s so good. Do it again. Come around my cock again, baby. Show me how bad you need me inside you. As bad as I need to be inside you.”
His teeth skate along my neck and his tongue licks at my pulse where it hammers. I am still coming down from the last orgasm, so I cannot possibly go off again. He must sense this because he moves, his mouth closing around my breast. His teeth tug at my nipple, his hand plucking at the other, proving me wrong. I can come again, and I do, coming so hard, I come apart in so many pieces, I am sure he cannot put me together again.
But of course, he does. “That’s it. That’s it, honey. I love you. I love you, Scout. Love you so fucking much, I thought I might die without you. Don’t you dare leave me again. You hear me?”
“Yes, yes, I do. I love you! I am in love with you, Sebastian!”
Sebastian throws his head back as he slams deep once more, coming inside of me as his body is wracked with shudders. Collapsing against me, he cradles me close, pressing kisses all over my shoulders, my face, my throat. I laugh, pushing at him playfully before he growls and nips at my shoulder.
“Mine. Do not take it away,” he teases, biting my breast gently, leaving his teeth impression around a stiff nipple.
Sobering, he sits up, chest heaving, eyes wild, a huge smile at his face. I grin too, feeling so light, so good, so complete I am not sure what to do with myself. With him. With the happiness bouncing between us. Rolling us, he pulls me astride him, cradling my face as he plays with my hair.
“Scout, I love you,” he husks, eyes holding mine. “I never should have let you go. I was...I was a damn coward. I was fine up here on my mountain, hiding away from the world, having nothing and no one to come home to. Until you smiled at me that day at the bar, and I knew I wouldn’t be fine living that way anymore. I think I fell in love with you a little that day.”
Tears sting my eyes because no one, besides my mother, has ever told me they love me. Never felt this sort of love, this bright, shining, blooming love that I have felt for him just about every moment since I laid eyes on him. Leaving was me being a coward. Me not wanting to hold tight to what I thought was too good to be true.
“I love you, Sebastian. I do. I should have never left. After that picnic, I just...I was afraid of becoming a hassle or a burden.”
“I never meant to be so...”
“You were good. Amazing. You accepted me with my diabetes, without hesitation. It was me. Me feeling the guilt of ever feeling my mother was a burden. Me not wanting you to deal with all the shots, the tests, the charting and tracking I do. I had it under control. I never wanted someone to help.”
“Well, too damn bad. You’re no burden, but if you’re going to be, you’re my fucking burden. You’re mine , you have been from the moment you passed me your number. Even if I never called. I will help you. Because you help me. You helped me open myself to the people in my life. I was so fucking alone before Scout. I pretended otherwise, but I was.”
Sighing sadly, I cuddle closer to him, brushing his dark hair back from his forehead. “I am here. I am going to be here. Here, with you, is where I belong, baby. You’re it for me. Home. I was alone too. I went all over the country with my mom’s ashes, mourning her for too long. My mother would not have wanted me to be alone or be afraid to love someone who is as good as you are. I was scared. Afraid it was too good to be true. It’s not. This, us, we’re the truth.”
Sebastian smiles, dragging me down to kiss me softly. It turns deep, hot, hungry as he pulls me to straddle him. His hands slide up my back, down my front, palming my breasts. Circling my hips, I rub against his shaft greedily, laughing when he plucks my nipple hard to get me under control.
“I love you,” he husks again gently. “I will love you forever, whether it’s here on this mountain or wherever you want to go. You’ve become my whole world, Scout. Made my world better. I love you for that. I love you for daring me to give this a chance. To give me something to come home to, someone to take care of. I want to take care of you. If that means learning every single thing I can about diabetes, if it means giving you a shot, or making us the right food, I am going to do it. I want to be burdened by you, I want you in my life.”
Beaming down at him, I press flat against his chest, kissing him softly, slowly, taking my time. We have so much time. I am not a burden. I am not an illness. I am a woman who loves a man, who has an illness. One we can manage together. We will have our whole life to figure out romantic picnics with safe treats. Plenty of time to have some cookies too, if we want. We can do anything together.
“Truth or dare,” I tease him, pushing up to smirk at him.
“Dare.”
“Dare you to show me how I belong to you, baby.”
Sebastian smirks before he answers. “Oh, I can do that, honey.
True to his word, he gets to work showing me I definitely, without a doubt, forever and always, belong to him.