28. She said, “I love you.”
28
She said, “I love you.”
Eden
“Don’t hang up!” The frantic shriek of Michaela’s voice was the only reason I didn’t instantly end the call.
“You’ve got less than a second,” I warned her.
“It’s Zach. He—oh fuck—he just—” Shaky breaths echoed down the line.
I hurdled over the back of the sofa and raced to the front door. “He what? Is he okay?” My heart pounded as panic shot my feet into my sneakers. I covered my phone and called out to Andie.
“He lost it! Like. Fucking lost it!” Michaela said. “I tried to stop him. He sent this fucking email saying he was quitting, and then he goes into the boardroom and beats the absolute shit out of Chris!”
The hallway spun. I blinked rapidly, trying to focus on Andie standing at the kitchen doorway, a tea towel over her shoulder and a wet bowl in her hand. Her eyebrow went up. I waved her closer.
“Where’s Zach?” The watch house, probably. Did I know any lawyers? Yvette did. She knew everyone.
“I don’t know where he is.”
“What do you mean you don’t know? You aren’t with him?”
“I tried to get in the elevator with him when security escorted him out,” Michaela said. “He yelled at me to fuck off. I wasn’t arguing with him. He looked—he looked—” She sucked in a breath. “Crazy.”
My mouth pinched. This woman. Did she know Zach at all? He’d been edging closer to his breaking point for months, and now he’d shattered into a thousand pieces. I should’ve realised how much pressure was on him. My stomach dived. I shouldn’t have told him what happened with Chris. I never should’ve let him walk out the door.
“Did you go to his place to check on him?” I asked Michaela, grabbing my handbag off the hook and slinging it over my shoulder.
“I don’t know where he lives! Sue, his EA, yeah, she told me to fuck off, too. You’re the last person I wanted to call.”
I would’ve rolled my eyes if the situation weren’t so serious. “Why did you call me then?”
“You’re listed as his emergency contact.”
I clutched the phone tighter to stop the tremor in my hand. My gaze shot to the front window. The sky was already turning dark. Zach hadn’t called. He hadn’t responded to any of my messages. I’d assumed…
I’d assumed he wasn’t coming back. That he’d chosen his path, and it wasn’t the one we’d walk together.
I’d misjudged him.
And now he was alone.
“Michaela, I’m giving you a one-time-only thank you,” I said. “I needed to know this. But you’re not part of our lives. Zach made his choice over and over again, and it was never you. It’s over. Never call either of us again. I won’t be polite the next time I see you, do you understand?”
“I—okay.” The defeat sank her voice lower. “And it’s possibly worth nothing…but…tell Zach I’m sorry?”
“You had the chance to tell him yourself.”
I hung up.
Andie tossed me a pained look. “Zach snapped?”
“Sounds like it.” I sighed. “This is all my fault. God, he was so close to achieving his dreams. If I’d just shut my stupid mouth and he’d made it through one more day—”
“He would’ve hated himself even more for signing his life away to those people,” Andie said. “This was a long time coming. We need to find him.”
“You don’t need to come.”
“You’re right. I want to come.” Her hand twisted the knob, pushing the front door open. “When have I ever let you run off into the night alone?”
“What about the party after I caught that dude screwing someone else?”
“It’s sweet you think I wasn’t behind you the whole way ’til you got home.” Andie smiled. “Come on.”
Zach’s apartment was dark.
Swallowing my fear, I fumbled for the light switch. Even when the warm glow flooded the narrow hallway, I couldn’t shake the dread turning my blood to ice. I toed off my sneakers and kicked them next to the door.
“Zach?” I called out.
Silence.
I raced to the kitchen. Flipped another switch. Empty. Panic jolted me from room to room. No one. My chest caved in, and I sagged in a heap on the edge of his bed, almost bursting into tears because I’d messed up his neatly tucked sheets.
What now?
I should call Zach’s mum, but what if he wasn’t there? She’d be so worried. His dad, too. They’d already been through so much. I needed to be strong. Figure this out. Help.
But where else could he be?
Another helpless look scanned around his bedroom.
Wait.
I edged off the bed.
Was that…?
My heart split. Tears squeezed out of my eyes even though I fought to hold them back.
Barricaded in the walk-in closet, Zach huddled in the corner, scrunched into a ball with his arms wrapped around his knees and his head pressed against the wall. How long had he been there? Hours? Even a minute on his own was too long.
I shuffled into the closet, dropping to my knees, crawling closer. My hand landed on his back. He flinched.
“Zach?” I hiccupped through the tears. “You…okay?”
He buried his head deeper into his knees and pushed up his shoulder to shield his face from me.
“I’m here,” I said.
I blanketed myself around him, my cheek resting against his back. I was going to sit in the terrifying darkness and protect him like a warm mama bear whether he liked it or not.
It was as if the comfort of someone being there let him snip through the last frayed knot. His shoulders started to quake, and my insides shattered with each of his quiet sobs. I’d never seen a man cry before. I didn’t know what else to do but hold him.
“I was so worried about you.” I kissed his shoulder even though he probably wouldn’t feel it through the cotton damp from tears. “You never came back.”
A dark chuckle echoed in his chest. “Why would you want me to come back? I’m a failure. No one. Not a partner. Not even a fucking lawyer anymore. Why would you want me?”
I could’ve listed a hundred reasons, but I settled for whispering the one I hoped would mean the most of all.
“I love you.”
Tear-stained cheeks turned. Dark eyes—no glasses—dipped in a tormented blink. “Denny Dee?” A desperate hand reached out, pulling me closer. “Do you really?”
“I do. I really do. I have for the longest time.”
“When?”
“Before the toothbrushes.” I bit my lip. “If I’m honest, I think it was the first night I stayed over. The way you looked at me…”
The first time he’d pushed inside me, his hand had cupped my cheek, and his dark eyes had fluttered closed only for a moment as he’d kissed my forehead and whispered, “Are you really here?” My true favourite fantasy. The one I’d never dared to tell him. Not just because he’d chosen me, but because he treasured me. He treated me like no one else ever had—like I was the most precious gift in the world. He made me feel safe. Whole.
“Things are different now,” he said.
“They’re better now.”
“I lost my job.”
“And that’s going to be a huge adjustment for you, but it doesn’t change the fact I love you. And, spoiler alert, but your job never even cracked the top ten things I like about you.”
His head turned, a small smile tugging at his lips. “What’s number ten on your list?”
“You’ve got a hot li’l booty.”
His smile spread wider. “Nine?”
“This list will be mostly X-rated until we reach the top five. You’re a wonderful man, Zach, and I’m so lucky to be with you. You’re sensitive and kind. You listen to me—really listen—and you share all the same hopes I have for our life. It also doesn’t hurt you’re so handsome and have a nice”—I wiggled my eyebrows— “smile.”
A chuckle rumbled under his ribs. “A nice smile, huh?”
“Uh-huh.” I tightened my arms around him and kissed his cheek. “No matter what happens with your old work or your new work, we’re in this together. I love you.”
He sucked in a breath.
“What?” I asked.
“I’m getting used to hearing you say those words.” He smiled against my temple. “I like it.”
“Good, because now that I’ve said it, I’m never going to shut up about it.”
“Promise?”
Giggling, I kissed him on the chin. “I love you.”
“I love you, too.” His sigh was deep… content . “I liked saying the ‘too’ for the first time.”
My brows drooped. I’d waited a long time to say the words back to him. Stubbornness. If I was truly honest—fear. “Zach, I know I haven’t always been good at showing you how much you mean to me. I understand now that I was scared, but when I think back about how I treated you sometimes, I’m not proud. I did so many stupid things I regret.”
“I deserved it.”
“No, not always. You’ve worked hard to change, but I haven’t always kept up. I’m trying. I really am. And I’m going to try even harder.”
Sadness flickered through Zach’s eyes, and his bruised hand clutched mine, pressing it close to his heart. He pecked a kiss on my fingertips. “Eden, if you’re really trying, I want you to consider talking to the police about what happened with Chris.”
“It was nothing—”
“A man touched you without your permission. He left bruises on you. That’s something . Bad men shouldn’t always win.”
“Will you go with me?”
“Of course,” he said without hesitation. “I’ll be with you every step of the way. No matter what. We’re a team, right?”
“Always.”
Zach gusted a sigh when I stroked my hand through his hair to pull him closer, capturing his perfect mouth. The kiss tasted like salty tears—his or mine, I wasn’t sure—but the urgent press of his lips was almost enough for me to forget.
Almost.
“Let me take care of you,” I whispered.
His big hand slid up my waist, a question in his eyes. I shook my head. For once, I wouldn’t try to solve our problems with sex. I tugged him to his feet and led him to the bathroom. When I flicked on the tap to fill the tub, fussing with the water, making sure it wasn’t too hot, he perched on the side. Sad eyes watched me as I tended to all the broken skin and tender bruising swelling his usually beautiful hands.
“You shouldn’t know how to do that so well,” Zach murmured, his voice barely rising above the roar of the water.
“We both got here walking a rocky path.”
“You know I’d never use my hands on you, right?”
I nodded.
Slowly, gently, I reached for him, unbuttoning his shirt, peeling the blood-stained clothes off his skin, stripping off my own, and coaxing him into the warm water. A bath bomb plopped in. The fizz of jasmine cleared the air. I slid into the tub behind him, soaped him up, and massaged the clenched muscles in his shoulders, the broad muscles pulled tight in his back, his arms, until he melted against me. My arms wrapped around his chest.
It was intimate, but not sexual. Half-blind from tears, I let myself sink into the uncomfortable feeling. Actual, real, unconditional love. No trade-offs. No orgasms required. Zach in my arms was all I needed. He was safe there. I was happy.
We bobbed about in the bath, not saying anything, until the water turned cold. Then, armed with a fluffy towel, I patted him dry, combed his hair, and still as naked as the day we were born, I pulled back his crisp cotton sheets and encouraged him into bed so I could tuck him up tight.
Zach’s eyes drooped. “Denny Dee.” He reached for me. “I don’t want it to be o…” He never finished what he was going to say. All the worry creasing his brow finally disappeared when he drifted to sleep.
I sat on the edge of the bed, soothing soft swirls over his back, but I stared out the balcony doors at the moonless harbour.
No stars tonight.
No way to wish away his worries. This part of loving someone was so hard. To see him suffering but be unable to do anything but simply be there … It tugged at my heart. Made me feel helpless. Useless. Yet, my feet stayed stuck. I didn’t run.
When Zach stirred, his hand searching for me on the pillow, I curled my body around his and listened to the steady thump of his heart under my cheek. My own heart thunked along with it. I only untangled myself when I ducked into the living room to call his parents—they needed to know he was okay—and to pop to the front door to collect the food Andie and Yvette left outside.
I shuffled back to the bedroom and slipped under the sheets, my breath catching when Zach rolled over. A rough palm curved over my hip.
“Come closer, Denny Dee,” his sleepy voice commanded.
I scooted along the cool cotton.
“Closer,” he whispered.
I wriggled a little more. Soft skin fused with hard.
He sighed. “Better.”
His lips found my neck, the bristles on his jaw grazing against the tender skin before he nipped a bite. “Yeah.” A hand drifted from my hip to cover my breast. “This is what I need.” He kneaded my nipple between his fingers. Bent down. Kissed it next. He moaned when he followed that with a torturous lick that made me gasp.
“You play by my rules tonight,” he murmured. “Which are actually your rules.” A laugh rumbled over my skin. “Usually.”
“We can’t solve our problems with sex.” I pressed closer to him just the same.
“I’d like to give it a damn good try.” Without even a sliver of moonlight, I couldn’t see the expression in his dark eyes, but the squeeze of his hand on my waist was only questioning, not demanding. “Am I still yours?”
I nodded. “And I’m yours.”
His fingers traced a lazy trail from my belly button until he reached my pussy. Biting back a moan, I shivered, my hips tilting on their own, begging for the thick fingers exploring smooth lips to find just the right spot.
“You first, tonight,” he said. “Please?”
I grinned. “Oh, I suppose if I must .”
A smile ghosted his lips as he edged down the bed until his handsome face disappeared between my thighs. Warm fingertips traced all the intimate lines first, his mouth only dusting kisses on the dips of my thighs until my perfect spot was plump and aching for his tongue.
I rocked my hips. “I want,” I whined.
And he was only too happy to give me everything I wanted.
His wet mouth was like fire against my skin, igniting all the lonely places inside me to burn with an urgent need for him. Just him. The room didn’t feel so dark when it lit up with my breathless pants and his muffled groans. He loved how I responded to him. He loved me .
“Stop.” My neck arched off the pillow. “I-I’m supposed t-to take care of you.”
The tangle of his dark hair didn’t lift, and his words whispered in a cool gust on my heated skin. “You did.”
Had I? It didn’t feel like I’d done enough. I tried to wriggle from Zach’s grip and pull him up, but he pinned my legs to the bed. Despite my protests, he kept me locked there, gasping, begging, until an explosion of pleasure shot up my spine, sparkles dancing from my toes, and his hair nothing but a matted mess from my desperate fingers.
“I love you,” I choked out.
His smile pressed into my skin as he kissed his way up my thighs, my stomach, my ribs. “I love you, too,” he said.
“I loved you first.”
Zach lifted his chin so I could see his smile this time. That was his favourite secret about me. “We made it.”
My heart floated. Zach was right. We weren’t almost there anymore. We’d arrived. Not to the future we thought, but in the end, a better one than we’d ever imagined when we’d first started smiling at each other in the coffee shop. We’d wasted so much time assuming things about each other, never saying the words we needed to, but every painful, lost minute had been worth it.
We were so much stronger now.
Bruised fingers laced through mine, anchoring my hand against the soft sheets, Zach’s big body crushing my hips into the mattress. I wasn’t going anywhere. My heartbeat raced, skin tingling with anticipation…not just for the pleasure but for the possession . And just like our first time, when he moaned low, so very satisfied to finally slide his cock inside me, his long lashes fluttered against his cheek for a moment as his lips pressed on my forehead in a kiss too tender when he was buried so deep inside me.
“Say it again.” His demand was strained.
“I love you.”
His mouth flattened into a grim frown.
Oh, hell yeah.
This was another side of Zach that I loved. The confident version of him. Each controlled thrust was brutal, powerful, and unrelenting, even when I writhed beneath him, begging for relief. He was so rough with me, but he never hurt me. Dark eyes locked on mine. I finally understood that intense gaze—the careful way he watched my face as he took what he wanted from my body.
He wanted to mould us even closer together.
He needed to show me how much he cared about me because sometimes he struggled to find the words.
That look mirrored our first night together. Other nights since. Zach had said he first knew he loved me after I’d moved in, but maybe it was before then. Maybe he’d fallen first, after all.
But, in the end, it didn’t matter.
All that mattered was us.