Chapter 22
Gabby's POV
When I see Lincoln enter the house, I pipe up without thinking. I’m aware of how hard I’m smiling, until my smile suddenly drops the second I see his face.
“Are you okay? What happened?” I say, confused.
The first thing that hits me is the fear that he might be sick again. The PTSD from him being in the hospital and almost dying slams into me so fast my throat feels tight and pressurized.
“I… I need to tell you something,” he says, shivering, his eyes refusing to meet mine.
Morris runs up to him, meowing loudly, sitting back on his little hind legs before stretching his paws in the air so Lincoln can pick him up. When Lincoln lifts him, Morris climbs over the back of his neck, settling at the nape like a warm little scarf.
“Did you jerk off or something? You couldn’t control yourself, could you?” I say, feeling smug even as my heart cracks. I want to be wrong about him. I want him to want me enough to try.
It’s not like I’m ever going to get back with him, but still.
It matters to me, for some reason.
“When we were married…” he begins. “We got to a place, or rather I allowed us to get to a place, where I kept things from you and… I care about you… I… still—”
“Link! Get to the point.”
Morris is still perched on the back of his neck, purring loudly with his eyes closed, when Lincoln finally straightens to look at me. His hands slide into his pockets, his shoulders lifting in a gentle shrug.
“I um… Sarah gave me a blowjob.”
Honestly, in that moment, I have no idea what to say. I want to laugh and cry at the same time. This shouldn’t affect me, but it feels like he just drop-kicked my heart.
“Why am I not surprised,” I say, rolling my eyes and turning away from him, heading toward the kitchen.
He follows. Of course he does.
“Wait.”
“Wait for what? You’re telling me something that’s not news to me, Lincoln.”
“Let me finish though.”
“You had a chance to finish when you were standing there after you dropped that little nugget.”
Lincoln takes Morris gently from around his shoulders, then puts his hand on my shoulder to turn me toward him. I shrug my left shoulder out of his grasp and glare up at him.
“Do NOT fucking touch me.”
“I didn’t come.”
“Wow, well good for you.” My voice drips with sarcasm.
“I do have self control, Gabby. I stopped it before it happened because—”
“Lincoln, shut the fuck up, oh my God.”
“I was thinking about you. I stopped because I was thinking—”
“Do not fucking insult me, dude. The fact that you let her touch you in the first place proves that you don’t have the self-control you’re deluding yourself into thinking you do.”
He straightens suddenly, a smirk appearing at the corner of his lips as his eyes narrow, almost confused.
“Alright, Gabrielle, you need to tell me. Are we together or not? Because I need to know. Otherwise I really didn’t do anything wrong.”
“Then why the fuck did you tell me like you’re confessing your sins?”
“Because we were playing that game and I wanted to be honest with you.”
“Good for you! Do you feel better?” I ask, turning around again, walking toward my room.
He steps up beside me and tries to slow me down by taking my hand, gently tugging. I rip my hand away again.
“Stop touching me,” I growl.
“Why are you so mad?”
“Who says I’m mad?” I sit down on my bed.
“Now who’s being delusional?” he smiles, like this is some kind of joke.
“Get the hell out of my room before I throw something at you.”
“Wow, you are seriously mad. Are you mad because I didn’t stop Sarah completely, or are you mad because I did it with Sarah at all?”
“I don’t fucking care, Lincoln! Do whatever you want.”
“I did, and clearly you’re mad about it,” he responds, way too calm for my liking.
“Okay then.”
“I’m trying to understand what the problem is.”
“I’m just saying you don’t have any self control.
You think you did something, and you had the arrogance to walk in here claiming that you ‘had self-control’ because you were supposedly thinking about me while another woman was sucking your dick.
I mean, do you actually hear how you fucking sound?
Is that how you justified half the shit you did when we were married, when you cheated on me? ”
“I’m not trying to justify anything concerning what I did to you. What I did to you was wrong. But right now we’re not together. And because we’re not together, I didn’t really do anything wrong.”
“That’s all that matters to you. That you’re absolved.”
“There’s nothing to be absolved about because I didn’t fucking do anything!”
“Then why the FUCK did you feel the need to come in and tell me that shit?”
“I already explained to you why I… ugh, look, I don’t even—”
“Honestly, I really don’t care, Link. Do whatever you want. We’re not together. So you’re right.”
“Does it bother you that I do that with Sarah?”
This man is about to make me go off, because what the fuck kind of question is that? What is wrong with men?
“Get the fuck out, Lincoln!”
“Baby—I mean, Gab—”
“GET THE… FUCK… OUT!”
“What the fuck is wrong with you, what did I do?!”
“NoOooOo, Lincoln! It doesn’t bother me that we’ve been fooling around with each other and you just walked in and told me that the woman you cheated on me with, while we were married and caused us to get divorced, sucked you off!
But it’s all okay because you were ‘thinking about me’ while she was sucking your dick, you dumb motherfucker!
Get the fuck out! Get the fuck… out!!!!”
I push him, hard, twice, and slam the door in his face.
He’s mumbling something behind the door, stomping down the hallway, and then I hear his door slam too.
What the hell is he mad at?
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