11. LARRY
11
LARRY
I can feel the walls closing in on me. The thought of being stuck in a room this small was absolutely not on my to-do list for today and I could really do without it. Has he done this on purpose? Did he know we were going to have a chat like this and thought it wouldn’t end well so he trapped himself in here with me?
I turn back to him. Kyle… Mr Carter… whatever… seems way too close. Way too close. I do not need this right now, this is the last thing I need. The feeling of being trapped, the closeness of my boss, I need to get out, I need to get away.
My breathing is coming in fits and starts. None of this is how today was supposed to go. No, no, no.
“Larry? Are you okay?”
Why does his voice sound so far away? Christ, am I going to black out? Am I going to faint in front off my new boss? I mean, I’ve already seen him naked. I’ve had him in my mouth for fuck’s sake. How could it possibly get any worse?
He steps towards me and I instantly take a step back, bumping into the locked door—just in case I wasn’t aware of how absolutely tiny this room is. I hate this. I hate everything about it.
I don’t know what it is about small spaces that just get to me, but I can’t deal with this.
Kyle steps towards me again, his big hands landing on my shoulders. They’re calming—the heaviness of them, the way they force me to keep my feet firmly on the ground when actually I feel like I might be about to fly away—it’s what I need, I think. Possibly.
“Larry, I need you to look at me,” Kyle says. “Larry, please?”
I try and focus on him, try and lock eyes with him. His eyes really are quite pretty. Piercing, in a way. Just looking at him makes me feel like he’s staring directly into my soul, and it’s not something I’ve ever experienced before.
Not really the time to be focussing on how pretty my boss’s eyes are, but it certainly is a distraction from the absolute horrors screaming in my head. It’s something at least.
“Hey, it’s okay,” he says gently, hands still in place, eyes locked on mine. “I need you to focus on the sound of my voice. Listen to me, just be here with me, okay? Don’t be elsewhere, be right here.”
I try and listen, hearing his voice, letting it slice through the blood pounding in my ears. He’s still talking. I need to focus on the words, pick up on exactly what it is he’s saying, that’s what I need to do. Come on now, deep breaths. Listen.
“Breathe with me,” he says. “Come on, Larry. Deep breath in… and out. Deep breath in… and out.”
I follow his lead, letting him guide me, letting him take me down this path of calm instead of the one of chaos. His hands find their way down my shoulders until they find my hands, taking them, absolutely smothering them as he squeezes them tight.
“Come on, Larry,” he says. “Come back to me now, you’re fine, you’re absolutely fine. Nothing is going to happen to you, you’re safe in here with me, I promise.”
“Okay,” I say. They’re the first words I’ve said for a while, and they take a monumental effort to say, but I feel myself breathing easier and unable to look away from his beautiful eyes. Wow. They really are something.
“Better?”
“Much,” I breathe. “Thank you. Sorry.”
“What for?”
“Freaking out.”
“It’s okay,” he says. “We all have things that set us off. Now I know I need to give you a key to the copy room so this doesn’t happen again.”
He’s still holding my hands, squeezing them tight, and I really don’t want him to let go. Which is a mistake, I know it’s a mistake, but I’m very fragile right now and if this is the only thing keeping me grounded then this is what I need. I will not be accepting judgements at this time. It’s not like anything else is happening.
“I’m sorry,” he says.
I blink. “What for?”
“In case I’ve not made it clear, I handled everything terribly,” he says. “I didn’t know how to handle it, and I panicked and did the wrong thing.”
“I know,” I say. “I didn’t exactly do anything to help the situation. But like we said, fresh start, right?”
But he’s still holding my hands, and as much as I’m saying the words “fresh start,” what I’m thinking is “please take me right now in this copy room.” Which would be a terrible idea… wouldn’t it?
“Fresh start,” Kyle says quietly. He’s looking down at me, his eyes piercing, a smile twitching at the corners of his mouth, and oh what this man can clearly do to me with just one look.
Before I can overthink it, I lean in, planting a kiss on Kyle’s lips. Immediately, he kisses me back, pushing me against the door. I let out a little whimper. His hands snake around my back and pull me close to him—to the strength of him, the heat of him. I melt into him as he slips his tongue into my mouth.
Slowly, our tongues dance a familiar dance. How can this feel so natural already? I follow his rhythm—him leading me, pushing me, pulling me.
There’s a knock at the door behind me and we stop immediately. He doesn’t let go. I think his big arms are the only thing holding me up right now. But we’re frozen in time, waiting to see whether both of us imagined that knocking sound or not.
The knocking comes again.
“Everything okay in there?”
And I know that voice. Based on the way Kyle’s eyes have just widened, I’d say he knows that voice too. All too well. That’s Taylor Howe. Taylor Howe, my other boss, and the other guy whose name is on the front of this bloody building.
“There was bashing on the door, is everything okay?” he calls out.
Bashing on the door, for fuck’s sake. What will people think?
“We’re locked in,” Kyle says, his voice strong and steady, a stark contrast to the way I feel like I’m about to shatter into a thousand pieces.
“Let me see if I can get it open.”
There are noises outside. Kyle pulls me away from the door, his hands resting heavily on my shoulders like he’s trying to make sure I’m grounded again. The door swings inward, the handle spinning across the floor with a tinkling sound.
Taylor Howe is dressed in a crisp grey suit, hair perfectly slicked to one side, and has an eyebrow raised in curiosity because oh yes, Kyle and I are standing incredibly close to one another and his hands are on me. What must this look like? I can only hope it doesn’t look like what it actually was.
“Everything okay?” He looks from Kyle and then to me. “Lawrence?”
“Yes, absolutely fine, sir, thank you,” I say, picking up the papers from the table and scurrying past Taylor. My face burns as I hurry through the office, the tingling of the kiss still sparkling on my lips.