Chapter Twelve
Lane
It’s been two days and I haven’t seen or talked to Jessa. She hasn’t been at work, and she won’t answer my texts or calls. I’m at my absolute fucking lowest. Which is saying a lot, considering I was active military and lost both my parents before I was a teenager.
Every repair job has taken me four times as long as it should.
I’m fucking worthless.
Now I also can’t reach my sister or Carter.
So for now, I’ve put a pause on bombarding Jessa in an attempt to get a hold of Alana or Carter. I’m about ready to drive three states over to find out what’s going on. Might as well, it’s not like there’s anything worthwhile happening here right now.
I can’t even go see Jessa, because I’ve never actually been to her house. I don’t know how this turned into such a clusterfuck. Going from the highest highs to the lowest of lows in the span of a day.
Punching Carter’s contact in my phone. It rings so long I think it’s going to go to voicemail, but when it finally connects, all I hear is rustling. I’m about to hang up, but my stomach rolls when I hear Alana’s faint voice.
“Is this for me? I’d have thought after the multiple poundings you gave me last night, you’d need a break.”
There’s a male groan. “Baby, I figured you’d be the one who was sore.”
“Oh I am deliciously sore. I love the reminder of how you fucked me into oblivion.”
“Fuck Alana, you’re going to be the death of me.”
“I sure hope not. I have plans for you.”
Again rage takes over as I stab at the phone, disconnecting the call only to call right back.
I cannot fucking believe this shit. I saved this asshole’s life.
He was my best friend and promised to watch over Alana like I would.
Like a fucking brother would. Fucking NOTHING about what I just heard was brotherly.
I’m gagging and valiantly attempting not to retch.
My temper’s already on a hair trigger from the shit I’ve been dealing with here, and this does nothing but exacerbate the situation. I barely refrain from putting my fist through the wall as I wait for the call to go through.
“WHAT. THE. ACTUAL. FUCK?” I scream when it connects, not even waiting for a hello.
“What’s wrong?” Carter asks as if there’s any question about what’s wrong.
“Don’t fucking what’s wrong me, asshole. I asked for one simple favor, to watch over my sister, be another brother for her, and what do you do? You go and fuck her.”
“How could you possibly know that?” he asks, sounding confused.
I scoff, “Next time, don’t answer the phone when you’re fucking her.”
I’ve been laying into him for several moments when Alana’s voice comes over the line. “Lane, you need to shut the hell up right this minute. I will not tolerate you treating either one of us this way.”
Her words bring me up short. She has never spoken to me like this before.
The phone must be on speaker because I hear Carter, “Stop. It’s nothing I don’t deserve. I didn’t keep my word. I should’ve talked to him before things got this far.”
“Damn right you should’ve. It never should’ve happened in the first place,” I snap.
“You’re right,” he says, and I recognize the defeat in his reply.
There’s more rustling over the line, but no one says anything for several long moments. Finally, I yell again, “Will someone tell me what the fuck is happening right now before I drive across three states to kick your ass?”
Carter’s voice is nothing more than a croak. “She left.” He pauses. “I didn’t even get to tell her I love her.”
I groan. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. Are you serious right now? You fucking love my sister? Why didn’t you call me and sort this shit out before I had to find out this way.”
He huffs. “Because I was doing my damnedest to do what I promised. Yesterday broke me, and I couldn’t say no to her any more than I could stop breathing. Fuck without her, I might as well not be,” he utters pitifully.
“God damn it. What a fucking clusterfuck. As much as I don’t love you fucking my sister, if you’re in love with her, that changes things.
That hits a little too close to home for me at the moment.
I’m dealing with my own love life issues.
” I heave a deep sigh, completely deflated of any possible anger.
Life’s too damn short. I know this too well.
“She deserves someone like you. Go get her.”
“Seriously?” he asks with complete skepticism. Not that I blame him after my outburst moments ago.
“Yes,” I reply, not quite believing I’m telling him this, but I can understand the misery he’s going through at the moment. If he feels half of what I do for Jessa toward Alana, I’ll get over it.
“I don’t know. You didn’t see the way she looked at me.”
“Well then, maybe you don’t deserve her if you’re not willing to fight for her.”
“I’ll do anything for her,” he insists.
“That’s more like it.” I approve.
There’s more rustling and doors opening and closing before I hear him tentatively say, “Alana?”
“Nope, don’t want to hear it,” comes my sister’s faint reply.
My gut twists as guilt takes hold. I did this. I shout, “Tell her what you told me.”
“Are you fucking kidding me? You’re still letting him yell at you?” The disbelief in her voice is palpable.
I swallow my pride and apologize. “Alana, I’m sorry. I was wrong. Please listen to Carter. I love you both.” With that, I disconnect the call.
When will the shit storm end?
Carter and Alana together is not something I had ever anticipated. But the longer I sit here stewing about it, the more I can see how they just might be what each other needs.
Just like Jessa is what I need.
The question is, am I going to be able to be what she needs?
Can I get over myself enough to respect her wishes and not pummel every guy who talks shit about her?
If it means I can have her in my life, then I’ll learn to deal with it, because I can’t imagine life without her now.
Can I fix the biggest mistake I’ve ever made?
There’s only one way to find out, and I’ll never forgive myself if I don’t try.