24. Connor
From my crouched position on the floor, it’s harder to say what makes me happier; the smile on Jess’ face or the little hands holding my glowing tie.
“Uncle Connor, you’ve gotta play hippos wit us.” Gemma could have told me I had to jump into an alligator pit wearing a raw chicken suit, and I would have told her yes. “Come on,” she lets go of my tie and moves to set up the game. Chris and Jess take their time sitting down, whispering something to each other. I don’t even care what about, I’m too wrapped up in the fact that I’ve somehow earned this miniature person’s approval. It makes me feel more accomplished than any business deal I’ve ever closed.
Jess pushes the coffee table out of the way so we can sit in a circle on the floor with the game in the middle. She begins to tell me how to play, but Gemma interrupts her.
“I can tell him, Aunt Jess.” Then she turns to me, very seriously, and says, “Deese are da marbles, dey’re hippo food. But dey’re not people food, so don’t put ‘em in your mowf.”
I manage to keep a straight face and nod. “Just for the hippos. Got it.”
“I’m lellow hippo, but you can be any udder color.”
We all pick our colors and after Gemma continues her intensely detailed tutorial, we play several rounds. The only highlight better than the trash talk flying between Jess and my brother is when I win a round and Gemma rubs my shoulder to encourage me, like a mom whose baby just sat up for the first time. “Good job, Uncle Connor.”
“Hey, squirt,” Scott towers over us and Gemma immediately jumps up into his arms.
“Daddy! Come play hippos wit us!”
“I don’t think there’s enough room for me, kiddo.”
“Actually, I think I’m due for some snacks, so I’m going to take a break,” Jess says as she stands. “Your daddy can have my hippo.” She walks over to her brother and gives her niece a kiss on the cheek. “But promise me we can play again later.”
Gemma smiles and nods enthusiastically.
My eyes follow Jess’ retreat through the living room towards the kitchen, and I decide I could use some food. “I think I’ll…” my voice trails off under the warning glares from Chris and Scott. Even holding a small child, Scott looks frightening. “Anybody want anything from the kitchen?” I ask.
They remain stone-faced, but my brother has the grace to at least cock an eyebrow, so I know he’s listening and not just silently planning my demise.
“Look, I got her a gift,” I pull out a small red box from my pocket to show them. “I come in peace, okay?”
Gemma’s interested now. “Dat’s a pretty present, who’s it for?”
“Your Aunt Jess, I think she’ll really like it.”
“She will,” she states confidently. “She likes everyting.”
But the other two look less convinced.
“Look, I swear to you both, I’m not going to be an asssstronaut,” I look at Gemma’s wide eyes and catch myself mid-swear.
“You were gonna say a bad word,” she observes.
“But I didn’t,” I counter.
“Aunt Jess doesn’t need a new asshole, I already asked.”
Chris coughs into his shoulder to cover his laughter and Scott just closes his eyes. “What did we say about grown-up words, Gemma Lorraine?”
I seize the opportunity to make a hasty exit. “I’m just gonna…um…yeah.” I quickly spin on my heels and put the box back in my pocket, heading out in search of Jess.
Just as she said, I find her in the kitchen loading a plate of food.
“Hey,” I smile.
Her answering grin just about stops my heart. “Hey, you.”
“I, um, I got you a little present. I know you said no gifts, but what kind of boyfriend would I be if I listened to that?”
Jess bites her lip, still smiling. “The fake kind.”
I like the sound of that less and less with every passing day.
“But I can’t be too mad,” she continues and puts her plate down on the counter. “I might have gotten something for you, too. Come with me.”
I follow her through the kitchen and the formal sitting room at the front of the house, then down the hall and into the same guest bedroom where I’d endured that tense conversation with my family just three weeks before. It feels a lot different today.
Except for Jess’ duffel bag full of clothes spilling everywhere onto the floor and furniture. That part is the same.
She leans over and digs out a large gift bag from somewhere in the chaos and proudly extends her arm to me, the bag hanging on her fingers. “Merry Christmas,” she smiles.
I reach in my pocket and hand her the box, my heart beating a mile a minute. Why am I always so nervous around her? It’s just a stupid little gift, it’s not like I need to earn her business or anything. “So, do we open them at the same time or…?”
“Absolutely not!” she says in horror. “No way! I worked hard to get this, I want to relish every moment of you opening it. Now come on, you go first.” She sits on the bed and claps before patting a spot next to her, inviting me to sit down.
I do as instructed and start carefully pulling the tissue out of the bag.
“Connor, it’s not crystal, stop acting like you’re going to break it.”
“First of all, I don’t know what’s in here. It could be crystal.”
She rolls her eyes. “I’m telling you it’s not. Now get in there, man! Rip stuff up! Live a little!”
Now it’s my turn to be horrified. “I’m not going to criticize your gift opening tactics, so why don’t you keep your opinions to yourself, there, fake girlfriend?”
“Fine! You’re kind of cranky for a guy wearing a light-up tie, fake boyfriend.”
I continue to take the tissue paper out slowly and deliberately, just to see if she’ll say anything. The minute I see a large shoebox underneath all the tissue paper, I know what she did. And I’m laughing…until I realize that this is a gag gift. An inside joke at best.
What I got her is definitely not in that realm.
“Come on,” she encourages. “Open the box, you know you want to.”
“Jess, these were not cheap…”
“Trust me, it was worth it. It wasn’t the $1,500 ones, I got these on sale for way cheaper. And if you don’t wear them on New Year’s, then I am going to be devastated.”
I pull out the box and open it, staring at an unbelievably gaudy pair of black sneakers with a tribal design in gold glitter all over them.
“I know it’s not the exact same pair,” she begins, “but it was close enough. They just screamed ‘Connor Price’ and I couldn’t deprive you of that joy.”
I want to laugh, I really do. But the panic is setting in. Why didn’t I get her something like this? This is a fraudulent relationship. It has an expiration date. Of course, something silly makes more sense as a gift. But it leaves a really sour taste in my mouth.
She notices my expression and her face falls. “Oh no, was this too much? I am so sorry, I thought you’d laugh about it. Hey, please don’t stress, I can return them! No worries, all right?” She grabs the sneakers from me, leaving a trail of gold glitter dust in their wake, and quickly shoves them back into the box. “See? What gold shoes? There aren’t any gold shoes here! You can wear your very sophisticated dress shoes to New Year’s and no one will ever know. Yaaay…” She tries to make the cheer sound upbeat even as it fades away.
“No, Jess, no. You’re reading this all wrong, I?—”
“Connor, it’s okay. You don’t have to explain. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable, and you are clearly uncomfortable right now. Please, you don’t have to spare my feelings, I swear I’m not upset.”
She may not be upset, but she’s definitely embarrassed. Which is ironic since I’m stewing in my own steaming pot of humiliation as well.
“Can I talk, please, fake girlfriend?”
She purses her lips and her shoulders sink. “Sorry. Yes. Please talk.”
“Stop apologizing for everything, you did nothing wrong.”
“Is this where I apologize for apologizing too much?”
“I wish you wouldn’t.”
“Fair enough. Continue.”
“I have never found a pair of shoes more interesting than those sneakers. I am just…dying to wear them. In public. Where people will see me.”
Jess cocks an eyebrow. “Mmhmm,” she mumbles skeptically.
“It’s just that my gift for you might have missed the mark a little. And I would very much appreciate it if you gave it back to me so that I can exchange it for something a little less…serious.”
Now, her eyebrows are both raised. “Serious? Serious like a heart attack?”
“Please, just let me salvage a little pride here,” I hold my hand out for her to give me back the box.
Jess’ eyes narrow. “Noooo,” she says slowly. “I want to know what it is now.”
“Jess,” I warn. “I need you to give me that gift.”
“Then tell me what’s in it.”
“If I told you what’s in it, then that’s the same as you opening it. That doesn’t solve anything!”
She’s gone into full mischief mode now, no sign of giving in anytime soon. “I won’t tolerate secrets in this fake relationship, Connor. I deserve total honesty on this throne of lies.”
“You have until three,” I growl.
But I forget I’m dealing with a woman who is someone’s little sister. And she’s not the least bit intimidated by my threat. “Ooo, or what?” She’s smiling wide, but she stands up off the bed and moves back a little.
I stand and stalk towards her. “Or I’ll have to take it from you. One…”
She laughs—laughs!—as she backs away from my advances around the bed.
“Two…”
Now she’s cornered, jammed between the wall and the bed with nowhere to go as I close in on her. I see her eyes dart across the room and I know she’s planning to escape, so I yell, “three!” as I grab her elbow and spin her around back towards the wall. Her right hand still clutches the box tightly, and she moves it behind her back so that it’s pinned, while I hold her left hand against the wall and we stand face to face. This is the closest I’ve ever been to her mouth, and it overwhelms my senses. The lilac scent of her hair, the gold flecks in her green eyes, the sound of her breathing. Her expression has softened into something different. I could kiss her, I think. Should I kiss her?
But before I can answer myself, she seizes the opportunity to sweep her leg behind my knee, throwing me off balance so she can jump up on the bed and run across the room by the closet. By the time I figure out what’s going on, she’s already ripping the bright red paper to shreds and letting it fall to the floor.
“You fight dirty,” I mumble. I make a big show of brushing myself off in an effort to avoid eye contact.
“So do you,” she replies, a little breathless. I look up to see her holding the bracelet in front of her face, inspecting it. “Connor, this is beautiful.”
I sigh in defeat and grab the back of my neck. “It’s nothing, it’s just a little trinket. I saw them on display and thought you might like one.”
Dangling from the platinum charm bracelet I bought her are three charms. She walks back to the bed and sits down, examining each charm intently.
“They’re so sparkly, are these crystals?” she asks.
“Diamonds.”
Her mouth drops, and she stares at me. “These are diamonds?” Immediately, she shakes her head. “I can’t. I can’t accept this.”
“I mean, they’re very tiny. Like diamond chips. Don’t get excited.” I sit down next to her and she stretches out her hands, shoving my gift back at me. The way she’s looking at me, it’s almost like she’s afraid to take the bracelet.
Maybe she is afraid to take it. Maybe when Alex gave her gifts, there were strings attached. Or maybe she didn’t feel like she deserved anything nice.
Any embarrassment I had about getting her a serious gift evaporates, and I gently push her hands, clutched around the bracelet, back towards her. “Jess, you need to know this was just something I saw that made me think of you. I’m not giving it to you expecting you’ll owe me anything. It’s beautiful and playful and I just…you should have all the diamonds you want.”
Her expression eases and she opens her hands to examine the jewelry again. To my surprise, she actually moves in a little closer to me so that our legs are touching.
“Tell me about them,” she says. “What’s this one for?”
“That is an ice cream cone. Since I couldn’t wrap actual ice cream for you. And this one,” I gently grab her hands and moved them to the next charm, “is a coffee mug. Even though I know you’d fill it with tea, I’m going to pretend that someday you’ll join the rest of humanity and drink actual coffee.”
She makes a face but says nothing.
“And this one,” I move her hands again, but she already knows what it is and starts laughing.
“Oh my gosh, this is so embarrassing,” she giggles, looking at the glittery starfish charm. “But I love it. Connor, this is…this is one of the most thoughtful gifts anyone’s ever given me. I don’t know what to say.”
“Here,” I grab the bracelet from her and motion for her to hold out her wrist before clasping it on. She shakes her arm to set the lights twinkling off the diamonds.
With a sincerity in her eyes I’m not used to seeing from…well anyone, really, she softly puts her hands on my face and says, “Thank you.”
It’s just two words.
Two simple words.
Two simple, polite words.
Two simple, polite words that most people say every day.
But the way she’s looking at me when she says them tells me I’ve just given her something far more significant than a piece of jewelry. I move my hands over hers and slowly up her arms to her shoulders, then lightly caress up her neck and into her hair. Her lips part and she leans in towards me slightly.
I won’t hesitate this time. There are no games being played; kissing her is definitely the right move to make. I tighten my grip on her hair and pull her towards me and?—
“Aunt Jess, Aunt Jess, Aunt Jess!”
And just like that, the spell is broken. Jess expertly shoves my arms off to the side, breaking my hold on her. By the time her niece bounds into the room, she’s scooted herself back to the end of the bed a good two feet away from me.
“Gemma, Gemma, Gemma!” Jess responds as Gemma launches herself into Jess’ lap.
“Daddy and Uncle Chris were talking a lot about you and Uncle Connor, and den dey told me to come find you.”
“They did, huh?”
Gemma nods. “Yeah, dey said you missed me lots. Hi, Uncle Connor!”
I want to murder my brother and Scott, but I can’t be mad at the pint-sized person across from me. It’s not her fault that they’re overprotective assholes. I give her a genuine smile and wave.
“Well, they were so right,” Jess says. “I’m so glad you found me, I did miss you lots. I’m hungry, are you hungry?”
“Yeah! I want chocolate, but Daddy said not til later.”
“Hmm, well guess what? I happen to know where there’s some chocolate hidden in the kitchen and I think we should go get you a nice biiiig handful before I talk to your daddy about his lack of boundaries.” She stands up and carries Gemma out the door with her, leaving me alone in her room with my glitter shoes and my choices.