28. Jess
The first thought I have the next morning is, Sweet cracker sandwich, I think my head is going to explode.
That’s followed by, what died in my mouth? And then, Oh snap, I have to go to work today!
I shoot up in bed (which is a terrible idea) and grab my phone in a panic. “What time is it?” I yelp. Seeing it’s 7:55, I try to balance my frenzied desire to get ready and run out the door with my very real need to move with purpose, lest I start vomiting profusely.
With marginal effort, I crawl out from under my covers and hobble to the closet to find something to wear. I pick up some jeans off the floor that smell passable and grab a purple blouse off a hanger when my phone dings.
Connor:
Good Morning, beautiful. I’m going to try not to be insanely jealous that you get to go to work today while I’m reorganizing my tie rack for the third time. I will talk to you tonight but I left something for you on your porch.
I can’t help the stupid smile that takes over my face.
Jess:
It’s not a flaming bag of dog poop is it? I’ve been hurt before. ??
Connor:
How can I surprise you when you’re always in my head?
I laugh and start to reply, but he sends a follow-up before I have the chance.
Connor:
Seriously, though, watch where you step when you leave the house.
Well, that piques my interest. I get dressed and run downstairs, like a kid on Christmas morning waiting to see what Santa left her (except I don’t really run because, you know, I still don’t want to puke). I open the door and look down. A small paper bag and a cup are at my feet. Connor’s car is gone and I’m struck with the hope that he at least got a little bit of sleep last night.
I retreat to my kitchen with my loot and send a quick text to Ben, letting him know I’m running late so he can cover for me.
Then I chance a peek into the tiny paper bag. In it is a blueberry muffin and a note that reads:
I figured you might need breakfast on the go after last night. Don’t worry, it’s tea in the cup, coffee hater. Talk to you soon,
-Real Boyfriend
My already fizzled-out brain whirls with several emotions. How sweet is this man to go out of his way to do this for me?
I’m so happy the “Real Boyfriend” thing is sticking, even in the early morning hours of sobriety.
Should I get something for him now? How does this work? I need to reciprocate, don’t I?
Is he doing this just to be nice to me? Does he want something?
Stop it, he’s just a good man. They exist, they’re out there.
But it stills plagues me after I get to work. So I consult the expert by texting her a picture of my gifted breakfast.
Jess:
Look what I got this morning!
Anna:
REAL BOYFRIEND?! WHAT?! ??
Also, is that a blueberry muffin? Holy shit that looks good. Is it good?
Jess:
Yeah it’s amazing. But I need your help.
Anna:
I want to make a joke about helping you and your muffin but it’s too early so just use your imagination.
I can already hear the car crash in your mind. Here’s what you can do…