Chapter Twenty-Nine Lily
The morning of the gala, a tremendous fog rolls in covering the island in a cloud.
“Pea soup,” Rose calls it. It’s like the view from the very tip of a tall mountain. Everything is gray, and the air is thick with moisture when I go for my morning stroll, somewhere between walking and swimming.
Even in the fog I know the way to my destination—I could sleepwalk here. I’m surprised I haven’t already.
I haven’t opened the envelopes Thomas gave me yet—the ones from Lottie. I won’t until after the gala is over. I know I’ll be emotional when I see whatever is waiting for us there, and I don’t want anything to detract from Rose’s day.
I haven’t spoken to Henry since the brewery, either, but in the back pocket of my jeans right now is a letter penned to him.
After our conversation, I want to leave everything on a good note, solidify the closure we had last week with a sober goodbye.
My sincere well-wishes. I’m on the way to leave it at his mailbox.
Then I will be clean of the past, fresh as the mist on my face now, the cool droplets curling the hair on the nape of my neck.
Theo and I haven’t spoken since he dropped me off.
At work, we ignore each other. It’s awkward, but at least Emily is still friendly.
Part of me is filled with regret, but another smaller, weaker part is relieved.
If he’s leaving in a few days, there’s no point worrying about it anyway.
I messed it all up once again, but at least no one got too badly hurt in the process.
Theo was a near collision, a close call, but ultimately, I am walking away from the accident still intact. It is only a sideswipe.
One bright point of all the alone time this week is that the collection I’ve been working on is finally coming together.
The paintings are scattered around my room.
There are six portraits in total. I had to use far too much of my Great Harbor paycheck to buy the extra canvas and paint, but it’s worth it.
Looking at the images, I realize it’s the first time in years I’ve felt proud of something I’ve created.
Sometimes I think life is really just a process of realizing how unremarkable you are, in your heartbreak, in your joy, in your hopes.
And then continuing anyway. I know that these paintings are not groundbreaking; they are not changing the world.
But I’m proud of them regardless. I’m proud to have contributed a verse, tried my hand at capturing something that is important to me.
In the paintings, the women I love are rendered eternal.
Finishing the paintings made me miss Jade. I kept looking at the portrait of her, her mouth curved with laughter, and thinking of our mutual stubbornness in letting this cold streak continue to grow. Someone has to be the one to break it. I texted her last night asking if she could talk.
So when I hear a text come in during my walk, at first, I assume it’s Jade already responding, and my heart lifts. When I see it’s from Theo, it lifts even higher. Maybe we should talk, I think. Maybe our relationship deserves a proper ending after all.
My screen reads, I need to see you. There’s something I found out about William.
It’s certainly not what I was expecting, and the mystery makes my heart plop back down with a splat. I feel slightly deflated and not a small bit scared.
Is he a serial killer or something? I joke to break the tension.
I see Theo typing and then stopping. After a minute, he writes, Let’s talk in person.
Not exactly the reunion I had in mind.
Are you still coming tonight? To the gala? I type frantically before the communication loop closes. We can talk there. We still have a ticket for you!
Once again, the ellipsis of him typing appears and then disappears. I wait for him to say something, but no message arrives.
I look up and realize I’m just about at my destination.
Through the fog, I can barely make out the red door to Henry’s house, but the lawn is wide and green, and I know that behind it is the cliff to the water, a straight drop.
Everything is going to be okay, I think, as I place the letter in Henry’s mailbox. I nestle it between other envelopes tenderly, like I’m tucking it into bed. Everything is going to be great.