twenty-one #2
“Why would we trust your family to do it?” I ask. “They’ve probably been waiting for a chance to take revenge on us.”
“They won’t know you had anything to do with it,” she says. “I’ll go to them and tell them I need help, and they’ll help me. The Darlings always cover for their own. Look at what Preston just did for us. Unless you want to bury it at Hickory House.”
“No,” I say, picturing Olive coming out, nosing around, and finding us with a corpse. “There are too many kids there. Plus, there’s only the backyard, so people would see the ground all dug up. It’s not like doing it in the woods where no one goes.”
I can’t help but think about Jane, though. About the fact that someone went there and found her body. If she was alive, if she walked out, she would have come back for Olive, so that’s the only explanation.
“Do you know a good way to get rid of a body and leave very little evidence linking back to us?” Mabel asks. “Or do you want to trust that I know? I’m literally going to school for it.”
“That is convenient,” Baron muses. “I’ll come with you.”
“No,” she says, holding up a hand. “I’m not going to bring you along and let you see which of my family members know and are therefore complicit. I’ve trusted you. Now it’s your turn to trust me.”
She and Baron stare each other down a long minute, and then he pushes his glasses up and picks up a napkin. “Okay. It’s all yours.”
“Are you serious?” I demand. “She’s going to set us up!”
“I’m the one who did it,” Baron says. “I’m willing to trust her.”
“And I know all about it,” I say. “About all of them. Which makes me complicit.”
“Then I guess you’ll have to trust her too,” he says. “We’re all in this together. We’re all a part of it. If anyone gets caught, we all go down together. That’s how this works. Everyone plays their part. Everyone does their job. This job is Mabel’s.”
I jump up and toss my napkin on the table. “I didn’t ask to be on a fucking serial killer team,” I snap. “I just wanted to get a girlfriend and keep my brother.”
“And you did,” Baron says evenly. “I’m the one taking the biggest risk. If we get caught, you’ll do a little time. You’re an accomplice. I’ll get the chair. I did the actual killing. I’m willing to do that, for us. If I don’t, will you?”
“No, I won’t fucking kill people,” I say, throwing my hands up. “Listen to yourselves!”
“It sounds like, if anyone is going to break and go to the police, it would be you,” Mabel says. “Are you thinking about it? Is that why you’re accusing me?”
“I told you to cut back on the Alice,” Baron says. “That it’s making you paranoid.”
“Don’t you fucking dare,” I snarl, knocking my bowl across the table at him. I wheel around and stomp towards the house.
“Would you rather we hadn’t told you?” Mabel calls after me.
I slam the door hard behind me, then lean against it, breathing hard. I’m losing my fucking mind. Baron’s right. The Alice is obviously fucking with my head, but they’re doing it too. I can’t tell if they’re doing it on purpose, or if it’s the drug making me think so.
Are they trying to cut me out?
They’ve kept me in the loop, telling me about each thing.
Have they been waiting for me to snap, knowing eventually I wouldn’t be able to handle it?
Now I’ve proven them right, and they can go on rampaging the town like Bonnie and Clyde in their deliriously happy killing spree without me.
Next time, they probably won’t even tell me.
Part of the reason I’ve always wanted Mabel was because Baron did.
Because anyone talented and interesting and unique enough to catch my brother’s eye, to be worthy of him, has to be special because Baron is special, and he doesn’t just give his approval to anyone.
So if he loves Mabel, she has to be the most fucking incredible person there is.
Naturally, Baron wants the best, so he wanted her, and I didn’t want to settle for less than he got, so I wanted her too.
But another reason I wanted to be with her was to make sure she wouldn’t come between us.
I couldn’t bear the thought of losing him.
Now, it feels like I am. Like it would have been better if I’d just let him have her to himself and admitted I’m not as good, and I don’t deserve a girl as good.
But I insisted on being part of it, and now it feels like they’re teaming up against me, pushing me out.
He’d rather spend time with her, doing whatever they do, and leave me behind, just like I always feared he would from the first time he came home talking about her in a way he’d never talked about a girl before.
I knew right then that I was in danger of losing him.
I can’t lose Baron. I won’t. I can’t live without him. I’d probably be okay without Mabel. She’s the perfect fit for Baron, but that doesn’t mean she’s right me. I could find another girl. She might not be as good as Mabel, but she might be better for me.
But I can’t find another twin.
So I swallow a couple pearls for courage. I’ll need to be fucked up to stomach what I have to do. Then I turn back around, open the door, and walk back out.
Mabel is already gone. Baron is picking up the dishes.
“Okay,” I say. “I’m in. Who’s our next victim?”