55. Bay
FIFTY-FIVE
bay
“Hey, Bay Bay McQueen.”
My body jolts violently at the unexpected voice inside my quiet kitchen, causing me to bang my elbow off one of the shelves before whipping around to face it.
I truly can’t believe my eyes for a second when I see Reeve standing there. Gaze directly on me. His dark sandy hair is a mess on top of his head, but he looks…like him.
No heated animosity resides behind those hazel eyes, and I can’t help but immediately be on edge.
He’s high because he wouldn’t be standing there like this otherwise.
It feels like forever since he’s stood in my house. Since we just stared at each other without throwing shots.
Without me getting in my feelings.
“You ever hear of knocking?” I lightly chide, stopping my hand from comforting my heart thrashing inside my chest.
“I was going to,” he replies, void of any empathy. “But then I saw you and Wallace going at it in the garage, and I swore I was seeing things.”
My teeth automatically clench together because, well, now he knows. And what is he going to do with that information?
The possibilities are endless.
Obviously, Cairo was going to tell whoever he felt should know—his boys—and now, we need to figure out how to navigate it.
Which means Levi is going to be a bit pissed.
Reeve moves forward then, and I can’t help but tense a little. “How was he?”
No.
I’m not doing this shit with him after I came in here, happy as a fucking lark, with no Forsaken boys on my tail.
Shoving the fridge door shut with some extra force—with my good elbow—I subtly make my stance on where I’m going with this conversation.
And that’s nowhere.
“I’m not pissed off, McQueen,” he alleges evenly, still erasing a bit of space between us. “In fact, I’m intrigued.”
“What do you want, Reeve? I’m busy.”
“I want the answer to my question.”
I press my lips together, even though I’m confident the answer won’t betray me. “You’re not going to get it.”
He’s within arm’s reach now, and with another step, my back is slightly pressed against the inanimate object I just closed so I can keep myself from breaking.
Fucking with Reeve in a public setting is easier than when we’re alone. I feel more powerful when I have a way out, and my home is my sanctuary.
This is payback at its finest.
“That’s okay, McQueen,” he manages with a plunge to his tone. “I can always find out for myself.”
My lips part to utter some more nonsense that he should leave, and Levi is outside working on the Nova, but that’s when Reeve suddenly drops to his haunches in front of me and takes my sweatpants with him in one quick swoop.
Then he’s quick to attack before a retort rolls out of my mouth to ask what the actual hell he’s doing. Because he’s suddenly right against my clit. His wet tongue shoots out to drag deliciously up my sensitive nub.
My jaw drops from the sudden surge of pleasure penetrating my body as Reeve expertly removes one of my ankles from the confines of my pants, distracting any opposition with how slow and agonizing he’s messing with my rationality and what’s happened between us.
Reeve hooks his arm behind my knee and props my leg on top of his shoulder, opening me wider to the goddamn addiction I have with him.
I know this shit is crazy.
It’s been sifting through my mind for the last sixty seconds, but it’s Reevie.
My Reevie.
The guy who made me fall for him with realness and calm vibes. Who made me laugh and genuinely wanted me because he wanted me.
Not for just sex or another alternative—just me.
“You and him together, McQueen…” Reeve’s voice has this husky undertone to it, something that slithers through my veins and demands to remain stuck in his vortex of fucking torture. “Fuckin’ perfection.”
I allow my head to fall back into the fridge as he makes out with my pussy like he can’t deal with not having the damn thing.
Tongue.
Lips.
His nose pressed up against my clit as I repeat his words in my head.
You and him together, McQueen. Fuckin’ perfecti on.
Him .
My fingers immediately lace tightly through Reeve’s hair, and I use the leverage to yank back on his head, meeting hungry hazel eyes and a fucking smirk.
“What are you doing?” I grind out, feeling like a complete fucking idiot. If he thought he was going to break off a piece of Levi by tasting me, maybe he is high.
“Eating you out,” he deadpans not-so-innocently before his fingers brush purposely along the inside of my thighs.
“You said him .”
“Yeah…”
“Are you tasting me because you’d like to taste him ?—”
Reeve suddenly stands to his full height, chest crowded into mine, and I feel like a dumbass.
Don’t you always feel like a dumbass?
“Are you telling me you’re jealous, McQueen?” His mouth is closer, hovering just a beat over my lips, and I can smell him. Sage and saltwater. A deathly combination to my senses and my ability to regain the upper hand here. “I obviously came to see you.”
I immediately rock my head back and forth. “Not to do this.”
“No,” he confirms before resting both of his hands along my hips. “You said I wasn’t allowed to fuck anyone else.”
“And?”
“And I think the same rules should apply.”
I scoff and push at his shoulders, not gaining a bit of space. “Get the fuck out of my house, Reeve.”
“Is that hard for you to do?”
“Depends on the definition.”
“I need to have my needs met somehow, McQueen. Drugs or sex. You choose.”
I eye him with a glower. “How about a punch to the head or a kick in the balls?”
“Will you lick them better?” I stretch my jaw to keep my temper in check when he tacks on, “You think you can waltz into The Landings, do everything you want to do, and then I’m supposed to follow you to the ends of the Earth?”
“That’s ideal,” I reply without a second thought. “However, you don’t have to worry about anything anymore. We’re not pregnant.”
“I want us to be pregnant.”
“Are you fuckin’ high?” I grind out. “Because I’m not dealing with this, if you are.”
“Depends on your definition of high.”
I shove at his shoulders again. “Fuck off .”
“You see, that’s the thing, McQueen,” he emits ever-so-softly, leaning closer and brushing his lips across my cheek. “You’re roaming around here fucking Cairo… You’ve finally got Levi to screw you. But did you honestly think, for one minute, I was going to allow that big muscle mass of man to take away what’s mine? What I had first?”
“First? That man and I have been ride-or-dies since we’ve been kids.”
“And he’s been fucking you for—what, a second?”
“The door’s behind you.”
“I like where I am right here. You won’t let me be anywhere else, with anyone else, and so, I’m stuck here.”
I don’t want that.
I want him to want to be here, not because I left him no choice.
Exhaling through my mouth as slowly as I can, I try to keep my body navigating smoothly through this conversation. “You don’t want me anymore.”
I feel the small shake of his head. The way his fingers plant firmer into my waist, and I can’t help but melt into him and the fridge.
“I’m always going to desperately want you, McQueen. And if Cairo and Torin won’t allow me to snort my life away and Ozzy keeps coming for me whenever I want some damn peace and quiet…I’ll stick to the only thing everyone will allow me to have.” He presses a long kiss to the column of my throat. “You.”
My eyes close on their own accord because Reeve is the calm bullshit that settles my nerves. But I’m not so far gone I don’t realize we have too much between us to buckle down and say we’re fine.
“I’m not your fuck toy,” I manage to get out. “You can shove this idea of yours up your ass.”
“I’m not leaving if Wallace fucked you on my watch,” he returns evenly. “You’ve got me fucked up.”
“Same. When you think you’re going to use me because you can’t have anything else.”
“You laid down that rule, McQueen.” He kisses me again. “Not me.” His wet tongue lashes across my heated flesh, and I press my thighs together for some relief. “But we both know I was never going to allow you to move on with someone that’s not within my circle of friends.”
“Levi isn’t your friend?”
“What would you say to that question?”
No. Like a solid hell no.
“You’re going to fuck me…and you’re going to moan around my cock. And you’re going to stupidly let me come inside you again.”
I’m not entirely sure how to describe the pure meltdown of my brain when he says that, but it stops words from leaving my lips. It stops fighting to protect my mental sanity and push back with something else.
It’s fucked up.
And it gets even worse when Reeve starts lapping at my neck with his mouth and tongue.
“Take me out,” he orders, licking at my earlobe and wrapping his lips around it with one good suck. His hitched breathing turns me on, but I still hesitate to follow his direct command. “We can play this game all day, McQueen. We both know I’m either going to wear you down, or I’m just going to take what I want. You screaming for Wallace is fine by me.”
“You wouldn’t be so fuckin’ stupid,” I mutter weakly.
“Look at everything I’ve been doing. I’m not above stupid shit.”
My palm reaches his cheek, and that gets him to pull back and finally look down at me.
I see every broken piece of him in his gaze. Everything I said. That day in the garage when he showed up and begged me not to marry Ramsey.
It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. And I don’t blame Reeve entirely for acting the way he did. Not when I’ve had my own breakdowns and showdowns. When I believed one thing, it was done for my own good—not that it mattered at the time—not at all.
I murdered Nessa.
I put so many bullets in her—few in the chest, the others…hit her neck.
There was so much blood.
My stomach coils in nausea, but I don’t fully regret what I did.
What I had to do.
In the grand scheme of things, she had to go. Fuck knows what else Matteo would’ve had her do, unless he had plans to kill her afterward. I still don’t understand why he sent her to me; however, I have a pretty good guess it was to show us this is bigger than it seemed. That he had planned something bigger than any of us know about.
“You haven’t grieved shit, have you?” Reeve mutters, pulling me back into his orbit. “You’ve been deflecting.”
I mindlessly avert my gaze. “It’s better than focusing on it.”
“Maybe you should do a line.” My attention slices back to him with exasperation. “It works, McQueen.”
“The last thing I need is to be a coke addict with two younger sisters.”
“Then maybe you should fuck me and take your mind off it.”
I roll my eyes. “Fuck it, go do another line.”
“I haven’t done a line since the night you fucked my night up.”
I slice my focus back to him, studying his expression and temperament. I find nothing but, dare I say, sincerity.
“You said bad things happen when you reach the end of your rope. Then you had the balls to kiss Bobby and well…let’s just say, I haven’t stopped thinking about it, and I’m over not fucking you.”
Butterflies flutter in my stomach, batting away the confidence I once had that’s fading by the second.
“That’s not the way to a girl’s cunt, Reeve,” I lightly chide. “Try again.”
His lips curl into one of those mellowed-out smirks, and my defense begins to crumble one brick at a time. “We can cut the shit and pretend you’re not wet for me.” He leans closer, throwing another brick to the wayside as I feel him unbuckling his jeans. “But we’ll both know you’re lying.” His fingers are suddenly on my clit, rolling it between two digits before he brings both up to his mouth and wraps his lips around them.
Fuck.
Me.
He does the same thing three more fucking times before I shift my weight for him to stop.
“I’m not fucking you.”
With Reeve’s free hand, the tip of his cock replaces his fingers, taunting the inevitable in this game he’s playing.
My resolve.
“Tell me no again.” He presses a gentle kiss to my lips, then comes back for another as if it’s our first. With his other hand, he lifts one of my legs and props my knee against his waist, opening me wider to him. “Tell me you’re not hungry for my cock, McQueen, and you want nothing to do with me anymore.”
“Reeve,” I practically beg. “Don’t do this.”
“I didn’t,” he mutters, clasping his lips along my bottom one and gently tugging on it. “But you won’t let me be. I can’t fuck anything anywhere without you cock-blocking me. I’d fuck Wallace, but he’s playing hard to get. However, you’re the only one I could really cream my pants for. The one who really does it for me. It’s a high all on its own. One I can’t get anywhere else.”
“You’re manipulating.”
“I’m baring my soul.” His nose runs along mine, and my eyes close on their own. “It’s the reality, McQueen. No matter how hard I try to fight it. No matter what’s been said and who I’ve fucked since you’ve been gone. You are what makes me feel whole, hard, and so fucking alive.”
I can’t deal with this right now.
I don’t know how to deal with this right now.
“I’m not one for surprises,” he whispers gently. “I won’t even make you say the words. Give me your tongue…and I’m going to fuck you so hard my name is the only one you’re going to call out when you’re gushing around my cock.” His mouth softly presses into mine, coaxing my tongue for his pleasure. “Give me what I want, McQueen. You know you belong to me.”
“That…doesn’t matter right now.”
“If that’s what you want.” He kisses me slowly again. “Deny me again and make me go away.”
I can’t.
I need to. I have to.
I know where things went wrong, but it feels so right when he’s right here, like this, and he wants me.
No matter how delulu that dream may be.