Darby
"I don't need to see it or watch you," Kip adds, his voice low and sultry…perhaps a tad lower and sultrier than normal. "But I would love to hear you pleasure yourself."
This cannot be happening.
I'm locked in a fitting room with a forty-three-year-old former model with the deepest voice I've ever heard urging me to fuck myself with a dildo? This is one Christmas Eve I won't ever forget.
"I don't know, Kip…"
"It's fine. You don't have to do anything you don't want to. I'm sorry. It was a stupid thing to suggest."
Something snaps inside me. "Actually, you know what? Pass it over."
"Are you sure?"
I catch myself nodding firmly in the mirror. "I am." Normally, I wouldn't dream of doing something like this. But nothing about this situation falls under normal, and after the year from hell I've had, fuck it. It's about damn time for me to push myself out of my comfort zone. "I want to do it."
"Okay. If you're sure?"
"I am."
"I'm going to slide the dildo through the opening in the door."
The orange monster pokes through, just barely squeezing through the slit.
I take it from Kip.
He clears his throat. "Like I said, I won't watch, but do you mind if I…instruct you?"
I've never been 'instructed' before so I'm not really sure what it entails, but by the way my dick is swelling in my pants, I'm open to giving it a try.
"Sure."
"Great. If I tell you to do anything you don't want to do, just tell me. Say no, that's not for me. I'll back off immediately."
"I will."
The crazy thing is I didn't for a second worry about that. It's like I somehow knew Kip wouldn't make me do anything I didn't want to do.
"Okay, let's start with getting you naked. Take off whatever clothes you've got on."
The depth of Kip's sonorous voice sends tingles whistling throughout my entire body. If only Sky could see me now—
Actually, no. I'd rather he didn't.
In fact, I'm happy no one can see me. Not even Kip. I think that's the only reason why I'm doing this wild and crazy and totally un-me thing.
I take off my hoodie and briefs. "Clothes are off."
"Good."
My cock twitches.
Jesus, how can I be getting turned on so much by this man's voice? Is vocal kink even a thing?
Now what?
"Now I want you to take the dildo and mount it to the wall."
"Mount it?"
"Yeah. See the base, how it flares out and is disc-shaped? It's like that so you can press it to a wall and fuck yourself with it."
I was wondering about that. "O-okay. Which wall?"
He thinks about it for a minute. "The one opposite the mirror. Get down on your hands and knees and stick the dildo at whatever height lines up with your ass."
His voice deepens when he says ass, and that's exactly where I feel it. Tingles of anticipation run through me.
I follow his instructions, getting down onto the floor, seeing where my ass comes to in this position, then pressing the dildo firmly to the wall.
To my surprise, it actually works. The dildo remains glued in place, only drooping slightly because it's so freaking long and heavy, and gravity is totally a thing.
I blow out a long breath between my lips. I may be a natural born bottom, but this thing is going to seriously test my limits.
And maybe that's a good thing. Maybe that's exactly what I need in my life.
Yes, it's been a tough year, but I refuse to be a victim. No one in the history of humanity has ever said life is fair. I have to ride out the bad, move through it, and then put it behind me so I can create room for all the good that lies ahead.
And there are plenty of good things to look forward to in my life. I have to keep saying that until I start believing it.
"Shit," Kip mutters.
"What's wrong?"
"We're going to need lube, and I don't have any."
"I got that covered. Well, Sky thought of that. A bottle of lube came with the dildo."
"Is that in your messenger bag, too?"
I get up to retrieve it. "Sure is."
By the time I return to the dildo suctioned against the wall, lube in hand, Kip asks, "Where are you now?"
"In position."
"Good. Grease the dildo up," he says, right as I was opening the bottle, about to do just that.
"Greasing is underway," I tell him, coating the thing with a thick layer of water-based lube.
"Tell me when you're done. But don't rush. It's big." He trips over his words. "Layer it on nice and thick."
I do exactly that, inspecting the shiny ten-inch dildo, and nod to myself. "I'm done."
"I'm going to pass you something under the door."
A purse of wet wipes slides across the wooden floor. "If you want to clean your hands."
I smile at his thoughtfulness. "Thanks." Then I take a fortifying breath. "But I like a lot of lube on my cock as well."
My heart's racing, and my skin is on fire. Maybe it's not the boldest thing in the world to admit out loud to someone else, but it's a pretty big deal for me.
A soft groan filters through the door, electrifying me even more. Kip seems to be enjoying this as much as I am.
"I want you on your hands and knees, facing the mirror."
"Okay."
I turn my head to the side, looking at the door, awaiting my next instruction.
"Now back up onto the dildo. Slowly," he adds, a husk of protectiveness enriching his voice.
"Okay."
I ease my body back until the head of the dildo presses against my entrance. Slow is the only way to go. I haven't prepped for this at all. Well, not since last night anyway, when I spent some quality time with my trusty vibrator.
Sky may think I never assturbate because I don't talk about stuff like this as openly as he does, but I have a very healthy sex drive and enjoy a lot of solo love time myself, thank you very much.
Just because it's been a while since I've had sex with another person, doesn't mean I haven't been stuffing my hole almost nightly. My ass is in peak condition.
Still…
I gasp as I push back, taking the first few inches inside me.
"You okay?" Kip asks. His voice is closer, and when I look down, his knees are visible under the gap in the door.
"I'm taking it," I tell him, my voice strained even to my own ears.
"Take your time, Darby."
My whole body—hole included—relaxes when he says my name.
"Keep talking," I say. "It helps."
"I'm glad to hear it. You're doing so good."
"Fuck." I drop my head and turn around, trying to see how much I've taken. It's hard to gauge by feeling alone. "I'm about halfway there," I say around a moan. Electricity flows through my whole body, igniting my skin, my limbs. I can even feel the buzz on the hairs on my arms.
"That's so fucking hot," Kip growls, and I swear my hole pulses in direct response. "Now I want you to look straight ahead and face the mirror."
"Oh."
He reads my tone instantly. "What is it?"
"I don't know. It's a little…"
What, Darby? It's a little what? Fucking yourself at the command of a complete stranger you're fine with, but looking at yourself in a mirror is a line too far?
That's exactly it.
Which is exactly why I need to do this.
I gasp as another lightbulb moment of clarity strikes me—Is that why Kip is doing this? Did he somehow pick up on my lack of self-confidence?
No.
No way.
It's purely a coincidence, I'm sure.
I peer up and stare at my reflection in the mirror. "I'm doing it," I tell him, hoping to make him proud. "I'm looking at myself."
Kip grunts, like he might just be proud of me, before replying. "What's your favorite part of your face?"
"My eyes," I answer without hesitation.
"Okay. Focus on your eyes as you start to move backward and forward."
I obey, and I'm hit with a wall of sensation—physical because of what's taking place in my ass, and visual because for the first time in my life, I'm seeing what I look like when I pleasure myself.
"How are you feeling?" Kip asks.
"Surprisingly good," I reply, picking up the pace, keeping my eyes locked on my reflection.
"I'm so happy to hear that, Darby."
I push back until my ass cheeks meet the wall. "Fuck!" I cry out. "I've done it! I've taken the whole thing, Kip!"
"Oh, man," he growls, his voice dripping with want and desire.
"This is so fucking hot," I moan, bouncing up and down on the dildo, my slicked-up hand clamping down around my swollen cock.
"Are you jerking yourself off?" Kip asks after a few seconds.
He must've heard the sound. God, he's attentive. I fucking love that.
"I am."
"And are you still looking at yourself?"
"Yes," I pant.
"That's good. Keep going with everything you're doing, and just…be free, Darby. If you want to be quiet, be quiet. If you want to make some noise, make as much as you like."
My jaw slackens, and a string of incoherent noises spill out of me, along with a few cries of holy shit and this feels so good.
This is by far the wildest moment of my life. Nothing else even comes close. I pound that dildo into my ass, fisting my cock faster and faster, and as I stare at myself in the mirror, I feel it.
Freedom.
From shame.
From worry.
From caring about what anyone else thinks.
I am consumed by nothing else but this moment and the physical and visual sensations swirling around me, inside me, connecting me to myself in a way I never knew was possible.
"I'm getting close," I breathe out.
"Come for me," Kip commands, his voice sinking impossibly low. "And when you do?"
"Yeah?" I pant, that telltale tingle tickling my balls.
"I want you to say my name."
"Yeah, yeah. I'd love that. Oh, shit. I'm gonna come, Kip. I'm gonna come."
"Do it," Kips growls. "Come for me."
My legs start shaking as the first crest of pleasure washes over me. "I'm coming, I'm coming, Kip. I'm coming for you."
And then I let out a primal scream as torrents of ecstasy tear through my body, bursting apart all my inhibitions and forever changing some deeply entrenched, fundamental part of who I am.