Chapter 28 #2
“I wouldn’t change anything that happened . . . because eventually, all of those moments and micro events would bring us together once and for all.”
Georgia shakes her head again. “Fuck, Aiden. I love you so fucking much.” She covers her face with her palms and bawls into them.
“I love you too,” I say. Fat tears freefall onto my lap.
She wiggles her way over to me and slots herself between my thighs. I wrap my arms around her.
“I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry that I hurt you.” No doubt she’s sick of hearing it, but I have nothing else to offer her.
Distantly, or at least it feels distant, a compere speaks into a microphone. They’re introducing Owen and Gadget’s first dance.
“What do you want to tell people?” Georgia says.
A feminine voice drifts through the darkness. It sings a slowed down hipster version of Johnny Cash’s “I Walk the Line.”
“What do you mean?” I ask, still cradling Georgia in my arms.
She pulls away from me and looks at me like I’m stupid. “You want to explain to everyone the reason we broke up is because you’re fucking your teammate, who just so happens to be my best friend’s boyfriend?”
I flinch and check our surroundings. We’re alone. Of course we’re alone, everybody’s inside the tent watching the first dance. She gives me that look. The one she always gives me when she’s waiting for me to catch up.
“I love you so much, but I love myself too, and Megan. I fucking love her, and okay, even Finn. I don’t want any of us to go through more shit than we need to. It’s not worth it. I just want this to be over and for us to . . . move on with our lives.”
“Fair point,” I say, though I’m not sure I can picture that happening right now. “When we were at the cafe, you said you’d never imagined our relationship being a forever thing . . .”
Georgia nods, but says nothing.
“So if it was only ever going to be a . . . fling, a short-term thing, why? Why would you have broken up with me if I’d never been unfaithful?
Let’s say the relationship wound down to its natural conclusion, what reasons might you have given to end things?
” I don’t know if I’m wording my question correctly, or if it even matters at this point, but Georgia screws up her face.
“Do you really want to know?”
“No.” I laugh, and she does too. “But yes, give it to me. I deserve it.”
“You’re . . . kinda . . . boring.” She grimaces. “Sorry, but all you ever want to do is go on walks, look at old shit, watch TV, and drink old man beers.”
“Ouch,” I admit, though we both laugh again.
“I dunno, I guess I want to travel. I want to see the world, try all the foods, ride all the rides, fuck everyone. You drive an old person’s car and you have a fucking mortgage. It’s not bad, oh my god, it’s just . . . not where I want to be in my life right now.”
I’m nodding along. Weirdly, I’m not hurt by her words because that is where I want to be. Comfortable, settled, cosy. Pint of beer, Trekkie, a good movie, or a brisk afternoon walk. Roast dinners, sunsets, slippers, Eggo’s laughter.
“That’s what we’ll tell people, then.”
“Wait, don’t say it’s because I said you’re boring. I don’t want to be the bad guy here,” she says.
“We can just say we want different things,” I add.
Georgia nods. “I’m still going to ask Megs to take me home. You can have him to yourself for the rest of the evening.”
“I’ll order you an Uber.”
She thinks about it for a second and realises I’ll be paying for it with my account. “Okay.”
There’s a sound like stilettos on wooden floorboards. Megan approaches as though on cue.
“It’s over,” Georgia says, getting to her feet as her best friend draws nearer. Eggo waits just beyond the pergola. “We’ve ordered a taxi. Will you come with me?”
“Of course,” Megan says without hesitation, wrapping her arm over Georgia’s shoulder.
I stand up.
This time she doesn’t turn to look at me, and Megan doesn’t turn to look at Eggo. The pair disappear around the outskirts of the marquee.
“Pard,” Eggo says, immediately beside me. “Fuck, what happened?”
“She knows. About us. She found out a few weeks ago.” I puff all the breath from my lungs slowly.
He doesn’t ask about Megan, whether his own girlfriend knows, but I tell him anyway.
“George said she doesn’t want to cause any more damage by telling everyone the real reason, so I don’t think she’ll say anything to Megs. ”
“Okay,” he says, though he doesn’t seem remotely bothered about his relationship. “And how are you?”
I shrug. A painful lump in my throat forms and blocks off any words.
“Do you need to cry?”
I shake my head. Swallow. Nod. Then I’m in his arms bawling.
“It’s all my fault. Why does it hurt so much?” I say when the initial wave of tears has died down.
“Do you want me to drive you home?”
“No. I mean, I do. But it’s Gadget’s big day. I have to stop putting my own fucking feelings before everyone else’s for once.”
He holds my face between his hands. “You know for a fact that Gadget is going to flake out at around ten. Stay until he leaves, and after that I’ll take you home, okay?”
“I need a drink,” I reply.
“That . . .” Eggo pulls an uncorked bottle of wine from his inside jacket pocket. “I can arrange.”