6. JACK
6
JACK
F reshly showered and dressed in a casual shirt and jeans, I walk into the director’s lounge. It’s the best entertaining space on the track, and I’ve hired the whole thing. I’m still on a post-win high. Feeling fucking brilliant. Not even Lydia attacking my face, suckering onto my lips like a barnacle, is enough to dampen my mood. I had to physically peel her off. Bizarrely, or perhaps not so bizarrely, any desire to fuck her has completely evaporated.
I put Lydia out of my mind and focus on my surroundings. The director’s lounge is enormous, with high ceilings and huge glass windows that look down on the track below. The light is fading fast outside, but the atmosphere in here is a winner. Everyone’s happy and the place is heaving with people, their excited chatter peppered with the pop of champagne corks. Most people are well on their way to being completely inebriated.
Near the main bar, someone is singing karaoke, badly. Not sure I approved that, but what the hell. People are enjoying themselves, and that’s the most important thing. I spot Nico and Kate over by the window. Seb and Matt are with them, and all four of them are joking around. The giddy sound of Kate’s laughter reaches my ears, and both Seb and Matt are smiling widely, clearly on the same post race high as me. It’s a normal expression for Seb, but racing fast cars is one of the few things that can get Matt Hawkston to crack a grin.
My heart gives a ceremonial thud, as though something important is going to happen tonight.
Elly . That’s what it is. If Nico and Kate are over there, Elly must be nearby too.
The whole time I was in the shower, lathering shampoo in my hair, I was thinking about her. Those cowboy boots and her killer thighs. The little skirts she wears, even when it’s freezing outside. The anticipation of seeing her makes me feel like a teenager. Who would have thought hearing her sing would get under my skin so much?
I’m only half-aware of all the people in the room offering to buy me a drink and slamming their hands on my back and shoulders. I’m smiling and thanking them, but if any of them really cared to notice I’m sure they’d see I’m not fully focused.
Where is she?
When I reach our group, Kate throws her arms around my neck and Nico grabs my hand in his, congratulating me with a handshake even as Kate is still in my arms. If anyone can pull me out of my Elly-induced daze, it’s these two. They’re all smiles and admiration and it feels pretty damn satisfying to be on the receiving end of it all.
Seb and Matt come over to greet me too.
“Just as good as you were in your twenties, mate,” Matt says, offering up his fist for a bump. While I return the bump, Seb turns away abruptly, fiddles with something, and spins back. His face has been supplanted by an image of mine. “Hottest man on the track,” Seb jeers from behind the mask.
Fuck’s sake . “Prick,” I mutter, pulling the mask so the elastic snaps and Seb’s face is revealed again, looking irritatingly amused. I toss the mask aside, where it lands in a puddle of what looks like beer on a nearby table.
“I was gonna keep that,” Seb moans.
“What the fuck for?” I query.
“Target practice.”
I roll my eyes, and Matt hands me a glass of champagne. The first gulp tastes so unbelievably good because I’ve earned it. My mother appears and kisses me on the cheek, making me slop my drink over the floor. I bite back the urge to reprimand her as she says, “What a fabulous performance. That team would be nothing without you. You carried the rest of them, absolutely carried them, darling.”
Seb and Matt, who both put in a stellar performance too, are standing mere inches away, and they share an amused look. Mum has a tendency not to consider her audience when she makes proclamations like that.
“He was very good,” Seb agrees heartily. “One man team, really. Not sure why the rest of us bothered racing at all.”
Nico snorts, then lifts his champagne glass to his mouth to hide it, and Matt busies himself drinking half his glass in one go, avoiding meeting my eye. I’m pretty sure he wants to laugh, but he’s too polite to do it in front of Mum.
As everyone is chatting amongst themselves, I take the opportunity to ask Kate the question that’s been bothering me since I walked into the room. “Where’s Elly?”
She quirks a brow. “How did you know she was here?”
“Saw her out in the corridor after the race.”
Kate accepts this explanation for my sudden fixation on Elly’s whereabouts. “She had to work. Shift at the Marchmont.”
Something inside me drops into an abyss. She’s not here? She’s gone back to the bloody Marchmont Arms? I resolve not to say another word about her, in case I accidentally reveal that I’m absolutely, unreasonably crushed by the fact she’s not here when her presence should make no difference to my enjoyment.
Tonight should be about the race, my team, my friends. Not about some girl with curly hair and cowboy boots, who has always kind of irritated me.
But it is about her.
I haven’t been this gutted by a no-show in a long time.
Mum tugs on my arm. I turn to find her standing with Lydia, whose big brown eyes are fixed on me. I try to mask my surprise. I just rejected this woman; peeled her off my face like a wet plaster. Was I too subtle? Too polite? Fuck it. She doesn’t seem remotely deterred, and Mum looks completely smitten with her. Thankfully, Lydia seems to have ditched the banner and pictures of my face. The Hawkstons would never let me live that down.
“Darling,” Mum croons. “Lydia says you’re dating. She’s delightful.”
Lydia gives a bashful smile that looks completely wrong on her face. “Jack took me to a terrible little pub in the West End,” she says, glancing at Mum. “Dreadful service. And it stank of beer and sweat. What was it called, Jack?”
“The Marchmont Arms,” I say, and an odd quirk of pain makes itself known in my chest. I’d have described the Marchmont the same way not long ago, but hearing it come from Lydia in that dismissive tone rubs me up the wrong way.
“Poor form, darling,” Mum says to me, her lips curled with distaste.
Lydia lays a hand on Mum’s arm. “We didn’t stay long. I lured him to a much more glamorous affair afterwards.”
“Oh, thank goodness,” Mum replies, then leans into me, whispering, “Jack, she’s wonderful. You finally picked a good one. I’m thrilled. Well done, darling.”
I don’t correct Mum, because her knowing anything about my love life is too fucking much. She has a tendency to interfere, and I’ve made it a rule to give her as little information as possible. But she and Lydia are getting on like a house on fire, smiling and laughing. It’s alarming.
I turn back to Kate, but as I do, her face breaks out into a huge grin at something behind me, and she starts arcing her arm over her head. “El,” she calls, and a flicker of hope bursts to life inside me.
I spin to find the source of Kate’s elation, only to see Elly in the doorway, pushing her way towards us. Her expression is serious, but it melts into a brilliant smile when she catches sight of Kate’s erratic waving. Their elation must be contagious, because it shoots through me like an electric shock, and I take a steadying gulp of champagne to stave off the grin that wants to split my face apart.
“Don’t you have to work?” Kate says when Elly reaches us. “Please say you don’t have to leave.”
Elly’s gaze shifts to me very briefly, and there’s a guilty look in her eye, as though she’s about to lie. “They don’t need me tonight.”
Did she cancel her shift for me?
Kate hands Elly a glass of champagne and drags her off for a chat, leaving me wishing I had a more legitimate reason to talk to her. I can’t chat her up all night in front of Kate, Nico, and Mum. She might be here, only a few feet away, but she’s almost as inaccessible to me as she would be if she hadn’t turned up at all. And now there’s the added frustration of knowing she’s here and not being able to spend every second with her.
The evening wears on, and Mum continues chatting with Lydia. I try to focus on Seb and Matt and Nico, on anyone else, but it’s useless because my attention is hooked on Elly.
After an hour or so of chugging champagne, Seb decides to hit the karaoke, performing a dreadful rendition of Annie Lennox’s Walking on Broken Glass . He finishes to great applause before he stumbles back towards us.
“Who’s up next?” Seb says, grinning as he slaps Matt and Nico on the back. They refuse, and it’s then that Kate reappears with Elly at her side.
“Kate, you look like a singer,” Seb says. “Get up there.”
Kate doesn’t even bother replying before her whole face lights up, and I know she’s had one of her ideas. “Elly can sing,” she announces.
Elly’s eyes widen and latch onto mine for a fraction of a second. “No, really, I don’t think I should. I’ve had a lot to drink.”
“It’s only karaoke. And Jack never heard you sing the other night,” Kate continues, vibrating with excitement. “This is the perfect opportunity.”
Elly stares right at me, her body utterly still, and I know she’s remembering that moment in her flat when she sang for me, and the secret of it binds us together. The sensation is so intense that we might as well be back there, because everything else has ceased to exist. Kate’s still tugging on her arm, but Elly’s looking at me, and I can’t look away from her. Shit . Someone’s going to notice in a moment.
“She’s got a killer voice,” Kate says, oblivious to whatever is passing between me and Elly. “Come on, show them. Jack wants to hear, don’t you Jack?”
I clear my throat, finally breaking eye contact. “Yes. Yes, I do.”
Elly gives me a lingering look I can’t read before Kate whisks her away. I feel shaky, as though I’ve bench-pressed twice my weight for longer than I should have.
“Karaoke,” Lydia says, appearing as if from nowhere. “It’s so undignified. After this, we should take the car to the West End and go somewhere else.”
What the hell? She thinks she can join us? And what car is she talking about? My fucking car?
Mum latches onto this idea fiercely, already linking arms with Lydia. “Oh, yes,” she says, turning to me. “This place is very glamorous, darling, but I’d love to find a quiet, exclusive venue. We could have some champers and celebrate your win properly, without all these other people.”
“I’m fine here,” I state. I want to tell Mum that Lydia is one of those other people I don’t want to hang out with, but I can’t be that rude, and Mum has clearly adopted her as a new favourite.
Mum and Lydia continue gossiping as Kate ushers Elly up to the bar to choose her song. The place is so full now, and everyone so drunk, that I can’t get a decent view, even though I’m taller than most people in the room. I don’t know why Kate is bothering making Elly sing, because no one is going to be able to hear her properly anyway.
A few minutes later, Kate is back at my side. “Just you wait,” she hisses in my ear. “You are going to be amazed at how good she is.”
Elly must have joined a queue to sing, because the next guy up isn’t her, and he’s crap. He drones on for what feels like forever, and I’ve almost forgotten Elly’s about to sing when a clear and sensual note pierces the room. The volume of rowdy chatter cuts in half as people stop talking to turn to the sound.
She’s singing Alicia Keys’ Fallin’, and the power of her voice hits me smack in the chest. I haven’t heard this song for years, but the way Elly sings it, it might as well be brand new. Kate lets out a squeal, and everyone in our group turns to the bar where the karaoke is set up.
“Fuck me, is that Kate’s friend? She’s got a pair of lungs on her.” Seb’s lips part, and his eyes sparkle with delight. “Wow.” He blows out a forceful breath. “She just got about a million degrees hotter.”
Seb’s dimple deepens, and I get a flash of insight into how women must perceive him. Handsome, yet boyish. Unguarded, but still charming. And it irritates the fuck out of me. The urge to grab him by the scruff of the neck and tell him to shut the fuck up hits me so hard, I have to fist my hands and clench my teeth to keep from doing it.
The crowd begins to cheer, realising Elly is the real deal. This isn’t another karaoke performance.
“That is fucking sex appeal. Holy shit.” Seb brings his glass to his mouth and downs the rest of his champagne, then licks his lips, still mesmerised by Elly. “Is she seeing anyone?”
“Cool it, Hawkston,” I warn, and he raises a brow at me, a knowing smile tugging at his mouth.
He doesn’t push it any further, but a sensation akin to panic has already taken hold in my gut. I don’t know if Elly’s seeing anyone, and before now I’d never thought to ask, but the need to claim her as mine consumes me. I want to tell everyone that this incredible woman belongs to me, but it’s not true. Up there with the microphone in her hand, she belongs to everyone. And it fucking kills me.
My body heats as I watch her perform. She’s a total natural. The entire room is eating out of her hand, and the look on her face… shit , Seb is right. Sex appeal is coming out of her pores. The way she moves, the bright glint in her eyes… she’s absolutely loving the attention.
A shrieking electronic noise interrupts the song. What the fuck? My heart lurches and adrenaline spikes in my system. Fire alarm. Screams erupt and rumours of a fire on the ground floor rush across the room.
People begin to panic, but we’re near the exit, and Nico is quick to lead the others towards it.
Kate grabs my arm as we’re swept up in the crowd. Everyone is yelling and clambering over the furniture to get out. It’s a fucking stampede.
In the distance, I can hear the far-off wail of fire engines. Is it a real fire?
“Elly,” Kate cries, gripping my arm, her eyes wide and desperate.
I glance back towards the bar. I can’t see Elly, but she must be over there. “I’ll get her.”
I force my way against the crowd, and it’s a good thing I’m big, because otherwise, I’d never make it. Champagne and beer glasses are falling to the floor, smashing and splintering underfoot, alcohol slopping everywhere.
Elly’s half the size of the men in this room, and when I reach her, she’s made no progress to the exit whatsoever, and is surrounded by panicking, inebriated people.
I take her hand in mine. “Come on.”
She looks up at me, amazed, as though I’m the last person she expected to see, but the shock in her gaze vanishes and the relief that sweeps in to take its place wrings out every organ in my body. She needs me . She doesn’t resist when I tuck her under my arm and escort her to another doorway. She’s so small. So vulnerable in this heaving crowd. I squeeze her tighter, and together we make our way down a side staircase. She lets out a cough as the stench of smoke filters over our heads. Not a drill, then. Fuck, if anything happens to her…
Others must smell it too, because the screaming increases and the movement down the staircase gathers urgency. People are shoving and tripping. Hands flail and grip my jacket, using me to pull them forward, or trying to push me back.
Finally, we spill outside. There’s a bitter chill in the night air, but it’s a welcome sign of safety. We made it. Around us, people disperse, searching for friends, gathering in clustered groups, and within moments Elly and I are alone in the darkness, standing by the side of the building. My heart is racing, the adrenaline flooding my system making my limbs tingle.
Heaving breaths, Elly stands opposite me, trembling. “You think everyone got out?”
I glance back at the building, where smoke is choking out of a ground floor window. “I hope so.”
“Fuck. That was crazy.” She tangles the fingers of one hand in her hair. She shifts around, thumping her feet on the ground for a few seconds as though she too is flooded with adrenaline and needs to shake it out, then her gaze snags on mine and she stops moving. “You came back for me,” she says, breathless.
I want to tell her that, of course, I came back for her. There was no way in hell I would have left her struggling in that mess. I give a careless shrug and say, “Figured a little thing like you would get crushed.”
Elly wraps her arms around her. She must be freezing without a coat. If I had mine, I’d give it to her. “Thanks,” she says, her breath pearling out in a cloud of fog.
She’s shaking visibly now, and I don’t know if it’s the cold or shock, but before I’ve thought it through I’m saying, “Come here,” and stepping up to her. I slide my arms around her, pulling her against me. She doesn’t resist.
“Shit,” she mutters, but she lets me hold her until the trembling lessens. It’s a risk, having her so close to me because she can probably feel the rapid beating of my heart. With any luck, she’ll attribute it to what just happened, rather than her proximity.
Her sweet, citrusy scent surrounds me until all I’m aware of is the woman in my arms. “You okay?” I whisper.
She looks up, and when our eyes meet, electricity surges through me, connecting us in a charged moment. Elly must feel it too, because a momentary look of confusion flits over her face. “The others. We should find the others,” she murmurs, but there’s no urgency in her tone.
Without thinking, my hand rises to the back of her neck, slipping beneath all that wild hair. Her skin is warm and soft, and the tips of my fingers twist into the curls at her nape. I’ve never touched Elly like this, and my skin is prickling at the contact. Maybe it’s because she’s off-limits—Kate’s best friend—or maybe it’s because I like her. But either way, there is absolutely no passing this off as me trying to comfort her. It’s way too intimate. “We should,” I admit. “But I’m not in a rush right now.”
A stillness descends, and we’re trapped, motionless, in the energy field of whatever is happening between us.
Elly wets her lips with her tongue, and when her gaze falls to my mouth, I know I’m not imagining it. She wants to kiss me as much as I want to kiss her. But as I lean towards her, she blinks, breaking the connection, and jerks away from me, eyes flashing with annoyance. “You think everyone’s ready to fall at your feet, don’t you?”
My laugh takes me by surprise. “What? No.” The words are a knee-jerk reaction, which I immediately reassess. “Actually, yes. A lot of the time.”
“Unbelievable.” She paces away with purpose, but I catch up to her in two strides.
“Have I offended you? Because you should’ve known when you got up there to sing, the effect it was going to have. This is predictable.”
She tosses her hair over her shoulder and glances sideways at me. “What is?”
“Me, wanting you.”
She stops and stares right at me, outrage flickering in her gaze. Her pretty pink mouth opens to say something I’m sure isn’t going to be complimentary, when—
“Elly! Jack!” Kate’s voice cuts through the night air, and only now am I aware of how close we are to the main gathering of people near the track. The buzz of chatter roars in my ears, and I wonder how I hadn’t noticed it before. “Thank God you’re okay,” Kate exclaims, rushing up to us. “It was a fire in the kitchen. Hot oil or something like that. No one’s hurt. Barely any damage, apparently.”
“That’s good,” Elly says, and I’m wondering how she’s managing to appear normal and maintain a regular conversation when I am spinning from our moments alone and our almost-kiss.
“You have to come,” Kate continues. “Mum’s determined to go into the centre of town and drink champagne. For her nerves. She’s all shaken up.”
“Bollocks, it’s her nerves. She’s been gagging to get back to the West End all evening.” I sound disproportionately irritated, and it’s more to do with Elly than Mum wanting to leave. Kate, clueless as to the origin of my unexpected vehemence, shoots me a reprimanding glance.
“You know what,” Elly says, “I’m going to head home. I’ve had enough excitement for one night.”
Kate tries to dissuade her, telling her its too cold to be out without a coat, and that she should stay with us and take the car, but Elly’s having none of it. She gives Kate a hug, promises to take a cab rather than the night bus, and barely glances at me before she walks towards the main road. I will her to turn back, to give me some indication that it’s not that fucking easy to walk away from me, but she doesn’t.
And she takes every scrap of enthusiasm I have for this evening with her.