42. JACK
42
JACK
“ T his is a pretty mess, isn’t it?” Mum says. She’s sitting at my kitchen table, a selection of tabloid papers spread before her. She flicks to page six of one of them, where pictures of me yanking the bloke off the stage are spread, Elly in the background, clutching her guitar like her life depends on it.
Heir to Lansen Luxury Hotels leaps to defense of shamed viral sensation, Elly Carter.
Beneath it is a smaller image of Elly pouring a pint over his bloody face. Good for you, El.
“I told you you’d live to regret that girl,” Mum adds. “The scandal. The shame. Good Lord. Look at all that blood.” She jabs the image.
I clench my jaw, cursing the fact I let her into the house in the first place. I thought she was Kate, or I wouldn’t have opened the door. She marched straight into the house like my poor behaviour was the perfect excuse to turn up and reprimand me, proving she’s a ‘good mother’. If she doesn’t shut up, I’m going to kick her onto the street. “It’s not a big deal. We’ve agreed to settle out of court. I’ll pay him damages. Not that he fucking deserves them.”
Mum pokes the paper. “It says he’ll need reconstructive surgery to fix his face.”
My phone buzzes, Nico’s name flashing on the screen. I decline the call. I’ve been waiting to hear from him about news on Lydia, but I’m not talking about it when Mum’s here. I glance back at her and shrug. “Again, not a big deal. They’ll break his nose to re-align it. I’ve had it done twice.”
Mum grimaces. She’s probably remembering the time I broke my nose playing rugby. She always hated the sport; didn’t want me ruining my ‘gorgeous face’. “You’re being very cavalier about all this. That young man could have pressed charges. Assault. Battery. They could have arrested you. Had you up in court.” She rolls her eyes theatrically. “This could have been so much worse. I knew that girl would send you loopy.”
“One more derogatory word about Elly, and I will force you out of this house and never allow you back in. There is nothing you can say or do to change my mind.”
Mum’s face sours like a pickle. “Darling. I wasn’t saying anything bad about her. It’s you that’s gone loopy.”
I rest my elbow on the table and point at her. “Cut the bullshit. I’ve had enough. I know what you meant, and you know what you meant. And I’m telling you right now, if you so much as hint at Elly being a bad influence or not good enough, or say anything disrespectful about her, I will quite happily live out the rest of my life as though both my parents are dead.”
The colour drains from her face. “But you aren’t even together anymore, are you?”
A wrenching sensation blasts through me at the reminder, but I don’t let it show. I won’t have the facts distorted by a display of emotion. “Irrelevant. I love her, and I’ll love her for the rest of my life, even if she never forgives me. The memory of my relationship with Elly is more precious to me than actual time spent with anyone else, including you. I’d sacrifice the whole fucking world to have her back.”
Mum draws up in her seat, and I brace for the theatrics. The tears. But they don’t come. Instead, she says, “All right, darling. I hear you. You’re in love.”
Holy shit, she hears me? This has to be the first time she hasn’t hit back with her version of reality, denying mine entirely. It’s probably the best I can ever hope for from her.
An electric silence falls as Mum observes me. I pick up my phone from the kitchen counter, determined to ignore her as I search for Elly’s latest song. The one she played last night. She released it yesterday.
She must have done it after the fight in the Marchmont. It’s gone crazy on social media, especially after the news in the paper. The fight. The whole fucking showdown.
The song is going to be huge. And not because of all the scandal attached to it, but because it’s damn good. You can feel the heartache and pain in it. And those lyrics…
“Have you heard from Lydia recently?” Mum’s voice crashes into my head.
“No, and I don’t want to. I’m not interested.”
Mum leans back in her chair, crosses her arms over her chest, and tilts her head to one side. I know this look well. It’s the ‘ I’m in the right, you’re in the wrong, and I’m going to stare at you until you bow to my will ’ expression.
But I’m not going to do that today. “You have crap taste in women, Mum. Lydia stole those photos of Elly from my phone. She spread them all over the internet. It was vicious and cruel, and the fact that you thought she was a good fucking match blows my mind. I’d rather cut my balls off and eat them than have anything to do with Lydia Archer again.”
Mum’s lips tighten further like she wants to suck them into her mouth. With a pop, she releases them and says, “You might be right.”
I nearly choke on my next breath. I must have misinterpreted her earlier expression because that was not what I expected her to say. I’m immediately wary. “What do you mean?”
She pulls out her phone, scrolls a moment until she finds what she’s looking for, and then turns the screen to me. It shows a glamorous headshot of Lydia, and when Mum scrolls down, there’s a second image of her being ushered out of her house flanked by two police officers. “Breaking news. Lydia’s been arrested.”
It’s happened, then. “Jesus. What for?” I ask, feigning surprise.
Mum’s eyes narrow. “Sharing intimate photos. Your photos, I assume.” She tuts and rolls her eyes. “Don’t think I can’t see you and Nico Hawkston all over this, darling.” I hold my hands up in a ‘ this is nothing to do with me ’ gesture, which Mum ignores. “You always have to fix everything for everyone, and if you love Eleanor as much as you say you do… Well. I dare say Lydia deserves it, but I find it all so hard to believe. She seemed so lovely. I’m quite shaken about it.”
“I’m not. This is bloody wonderful news. She absolutely deserves it.” I scroll through the article, then slide the phone back across the table to Mum. “Don’t mention her to me again. Ever.”
Mum’s mouth flaps open and shut, audible puffs of air ejecting from it.
I want to laugh at how ridiculous she looks, but before the sound leaves my lips, a car horn honks aggressively outside, and we both pause to listen to it. Mum opens her mouth to speak again when the horn repeats.
With a scowl, she gets out of her chair and goes to the window, peering out. “There’s an awful car out there. Dreadful orange thing.”
Orange?
I’m out of my seat before I can process the fact my body has moved.
Mum’s calling after me, but I’m skidding to the front door, the leather of my loafers sliding like ice skates. I haul open the door, and my heart stutters, missing a beat entirely when I see Elly getting out of that damn Lambo.
She’s here. She’s finally here.
When she reaches the top step, stopping so close I could touch her, we simply stare at one another. I notice all the golden threads in the blue of her eyes, the slope of her nose, the pale pink of her lips.
My Elly.
“That guy at the Marchmont lost his front teeth last night. Did you know that?” she asks.
“I did not know that,” I confirm. But I’m not fucking sorry.
An awkward silence fills the space for a few beats.
“Can I come in?” I hesitate and Elly shrinks a fraction. “If you’re busy—”
“No. It’s not that,” I blurt. “I’d love to invite you in, but Mum’s here.”
“Who is it?” Mum calls from the kitchen, and I see Elly stiffen just as Mum’s heels clack out into the hall behind me. “Oh. Eleanor. You’re back. What wonderful timing. Jack hasn’t stopped talking about you.” Mum paces until she’s right beside me in the doorway, the two of us blocking Elly’s entry. “I assume she’s coming in?” Mum asks.
“She?” I say pointedly.
“Eleanor,” Mum corrects.
I nod and shift aside. Elly’s hesitant at first, but then she follows me in.
“Well,” Mum announces as if this one word sums up a host of information. “I’ll go then. Do try and behave yourself when I’m gone.” She rolls her eyes to the ceiling. “Like an absolute animal last night. Goodness.” A shudder ripples through her before she turns to Elly, looking her up and down with a disdainful curl of the upper lip. “If you could try not to incite my son to violence, it would be much appreciated.”
Elly shrugs. “Jack makes his own choices, Mrs Lansen. I think you know that.”
Mum gives a disgruntled harrumph as she tucks the strap of her handbag tightly over her shoulder, tucking the body of it beneath her arm. She gives Elly another flick of a glance. “Your latest song. It’s really… rather good.” The admission sounds like it pains Mum to make it. “You’ve more talent than I gave you credit for. Well done.”
Elly’s jaw falls open, and I keep quiet, letting the compliment sink in. Mum’s always responded to achievement. As a kid, I could always win her over by doing something good. Something exceptional. Winning some prize or game.
But it doesn’t last, because Mum is nothing if not brutally honest. “You aren’t who I would have chosen. I think we all know that. But I suppose we must try to get along, especially if you are set on Jack here.” Mum glances at me. “He certainly seems set on you.”
Before either of us can respond, Mum spreads her arms wide and wraps them around Elly in the most awkward hug I’ve ever seen. It’s all pointed elbows and raised shoulders, as if Mum doesn’t actually want any part of her body to come into contact with Elly’s. It’s so typically Mum that it makes me want to laugh, and the sight of Elly’s alarmed eyes peering at me over Mum’s shoulder only makes it worse.
Mum pulls back, nods at both of us as though this finalises the matter entirely, and lets herself out, closing the door behind her.
“That was… weird,” Elly says under her breath.
I say nothing, not knowing whether Elly is referring to the compliment, the hug, or the fact that my mother’s announcement that I’m ‘certainly set’ on Elly sounded almost like approval. I’m not sure how I feel about that last comment. I’d prefer to tell Elly myself how I feel, rather than have my mother out me. Not that Elly doesn’t know, given I must have spent thousands of pounds on flowers over the past few weeks, and hours idling on the road outside Nico’s apartment.
Elly twines a curl around her fingers, eyes landing on mine. “I noticed it’s really hard to find my pictures online now.” She keeps twisting that curl really tight. I want to reach out and loosen it, but I don’t dare touch her. “Did you do that?”
My heart lurches like it wants to escape my body and spring right into Elly’s. “I did whatever I could, yeah.”
“Thank you.” She tilts her head towards the kitchen where Playing Your Games is still streaming through the speakers. “Is that… my song?”
“Yeah.” I shove my hands deep in my pockets. “It’s really good. Is it…?” I can’t bring myself to ask the question.
“About you? About us?”
“Yeah.”
She sighs. “It was all…. very painful.”
I nod, not wanting to agree and let her know how painful it was for me too. Not until I know what she’s thinking, at least.
“I’m so, so sorry, El. I never meant for you to get hurt. I had no idea that anything would have gone down the way it did. I couldn’t have predicted that Lydia—”
“Kate said you had Derek removing comments on my videos.”
Guilt squeezes my gut. “Yeah. Sorry. I—”
“If I’d seen those, or you’d told me about them, maybe I could have predicted what Lydia was up to. Maybe not all of it… but some of it. I could have been prepared.” She pauses, letting her shoulders drop. “I wish you’d mentioned it, rather than hiding it from me.”
“I didn’t want you to get upset.” I let out a mirthless burst of laughter. “Turns out I can’t control the world and all the people in it.”
“But you can knock their teeth out and break their noses.” I don’t move. Is that a compliment or a reprimand?
“I’m sorry you had to see that.”
“You looked like you wanted to do worse.”
I tilt my chin in confirmation. Fuck yes, I wanted to spread his guts out on the fucking floor.
An awkward silence descends, and Elly fiddles with the sleeve of her sheepskin jacket. “I saw that Lydia was arrested. Did you do that too?”
I hesitate, unsure if she’ll appreciate any more of my interference. But I won’t lie to her, either. “With Nico’s assistance, yes. I wasn’t going to let her get away with it. She hurt you, and to me, that’s unforgivable.”
Her eyes soften and some of my tension fades away. “I always told you she was a red flag.”
“You did.”
Silence engulfs us, but it's not uncomfortable this time. “I spoke to Robert Lloyd this morning,” Elly says finally.
“Oh, yeah?”
“Yeah. He still wants to meet. He’s really enthusiastic. I think he believes in me.”
“Of course he does. You’re the whole package.”
She blushes, her eyes dipping away from me for a second, and the air feels alive, as though all our unspoken feelings are quietly buzzing between us.
“About that song… the games.” I huff a breath, not knowing exactly how to put this. “Was it really all so painful? Wasn’t it worth it?”
She holds my gaze longer than is comfortable before she admits, “Yeah. It was worth it. You’re worth every game.”
A warming, fuzzy sensation expands beneath my sternum. “Does that mean you might want to… stay and play?” I ask, quoting her song. “Because I’d like that. I’d fucking love that, in fact. I’d love you to stay and play and never leave, actually.”
So much for not telling her how I really feel.
“Even if it kills me?” she asks, half a smile on her mouth, but when I answer, I’m deadly serious.
“To be honest, if it kills you, then I’m dying too. I feel like I can’t fucking breathe without you, and I’ve loathed every second of being separated from you. It’s been agony. Not a day has gone by when I haven’t thought of you. Wondering what you’re doing, what you’re wearing. If your feet are bare, or you’re wearing those stupid pink slippers. I have ached with missing you. I don’t want any more of those seemingly insignificant moments of your life to pass without me being there by your side, because, to me, nothing is insignificant. It’s all precious. I want to be there when you wake up, and when you fall asleep, and every fucking second in between. So, yes. Please stay. I’m asking you… begging you, not to leave.”
Her eyes are full of intense emotion when she says, “Yes, please.”
I don’t dare breathe in case I’ve misunderstood, and for a few seconds, I tune into the thump-thump of my heartbeat. “You want to stay?”
“Yes. I want to stay with you— be with you —and be happy and successful and let all the shit slide right off.” A grin splits her pretty pink mouth. “I’m ready for that. I’m ready to let all the good stuff in. Really ready this time.”
My heart explodes and before I can stop myself, I’m hauling her against me and kissing her, relishing her familiar taste and the feel of her tongue against mine as I wind my fingers into the curls I’ve missed so much.
“Fuck, I love you,” I say, breaking my lips from hers. “Don’t leave me again. No more messing around.”
“No more games?” she breathes.
“Only if you want to.”
She laughs, I laugh, we kiss, each swallowing the sound of the other. It’s messy. It’s perfect. I’m awash with gratitude that this wonderful woman is giving me a second chance.
“I want to. I always want to when it comes to you,” she says. “But no more photos.”
“Okay.” I kiss her again, then whisper against her mouth. “There’s something you should know though.”
“What?”
“I burnt all my condoms.”
She laughs. “I don’t care.” Our lips meet again, and the kiss is sensuous and frantic and calming all at once. “I love you,” she says, when we break apart. “I never stopped loving you. Not for a single second. Even when I hated you, I still loved you.”
I close my eyes and press my forehead to hers. Has anything ever felt as good as having Elly back in my arms? I don’t feel worthy of it. Of her. She’s far too good for me, but I’ll take it because this woman is embedded deep in my soul, and without her, I’m broken.
“But you can’t ever lie to me again,” Elly adds.
“I won’t. I promise. I love you. I’ve never loved anyone the way I love you, and I never will. You’ve changed my life, El. You’ve changed me . Being with you was the most wonderful experience I’ve ever had, and I swear I will never do anything to jeopardise that again. I’ll devote myself to your happiness. Your wellbeing. Your safety. I’ll—”
She presses a finger to my lips. “I get it, Lansen. You love me, and you’re sorry.” She kisses me hard on the mouth. “I forgive you, with my whole heart. Now… fuck me, before I change my mind.”
What? I pull back to look at her, but she dissolves into a beautiful cascade of giggles.
“Don’t tease me,” I rasp, then shrug it off. None of it matters, as long as she’s here. “Actually, do whatever you want with me. I’m yours, body and soul.”
“Who said anything about teasing?” She grips my hand and pulls me towards the stairs. “I’m one hundred per cent serious. I love you, I’ve missed you, and I want to show you how much. I already showed up on your doorstep. What more do you want? I could go and sleep out there in the car for a week?” She points out the window, at where that stupid orange Lambo is parked.
Half a laugh sticks in my throat. “I definitely don’t deserve you.”
She grins. “Nope. But I’m feeling generous.”
“Then I’m the luckiest man in the whole fucking world. I will worship you every day for the rest of my life. I love you, Elly Carter.” I’m never letting go again.
She softens in my arms, and the look in her eyes is sincere when she replies, “I love you too, Jack Lansen. Always. Forever.”