30. KATE
30
KATE
L eaving Nico at the airport tore at my heart in a way I hadn’t expected. He ordered a car to take me home and then stood on the tarmac in his suit, watching me drive away. He didn’t wave. He just stood there with his hands in his pockets. So handsome. So sexy. And the further we drove, the more he felt like a dream I couldn’t hold on to.
It might only have been a weekend, but it felt like so much more. And was over far too soon. My emotions are all over the place. My hormones too.
The first thing I do when I get back to the office on Monday morning is check my emails.
Nothing .
Well, not exactly nothing. There’s a bunch to clear through, but nothing from Nico.
I check my phone.
Nothing .
Damn it . The post-coital glow that got me through Sunday night is well and truly over. All I have to show for it now are bruises; imprints of our over-zealous love-making. Well, bruises and the memory of Nico’s raw confession: You, Kate Lansen, are worth every penny I have .
And God knows Nico has a lot of pennies.
Charlie slams his bag down on the desk opposite. “The tube sucks. All those people squished in together. Grim.”
I’m grateful for the distraction, even if he has entered like a sweaty storm-cloud.
“How do you normally get here?”
Charlie walks around to my side of the desk. “Driver brings me in with Uncle Nico. But this morning he pushed me out the door and told me to use public transport. Said I might as well find out what it’s like. ‘ Life lesson ’.” He makes air quotes with his fingers, his face scrunching . “ Learn how the other half live.”
“You’ve never been on the tube?” I ask, unable to conceal the shock that flits over my face whilst simultaneously trying not to react to the mention of Nico’s name.
“No. I nearly went on it once with my mates from school, but then we got a black cab instead.”
“Oh. What did you think?”
“Awful. Truly terrible. I think I need a shower to recover.” He brushes invisible filth off his jacket sleeve with the back of his opposite hand, then switches sides.
He stops mid swipe, his eyes glued to my phone, which is lying on my desk. “What’s that picture?”
“Huh?”
“Your phone background?”
Elly had set it to the picture of the graffitied van that had turned up at Mum’s summer party last week, when I told her and Marie the story. She thought it was so funny that it would amuse me to see it there every day.
When I’d been with Nico at the weekend, I hadn’t even looked at my phone. This morning I’d meant to change it, but forgot when Marie started quizzing me about Paris. So there it is, lighting up the phone screen for all to see.
Not professional at all .
“Is that a giant penis on the side of a van?” he questions, eyes wide.
My stomach drops. Oh, God . I snatch my phone up before Charlie can inspect it further. “No. Of course not.” I quickly change the background photo to a picture of me and Jack at the drinks party.
I put it back on the desk, and Charlie peers over to look closer. Just then my phone buzzes, the name Nico Hawkston appearing on the screen.
My composure dissolves at the sight of his name and I grab it so fast that Charlie looks at me like I’ve gone mad. Thank God I changed Nico’s contact details from Massively Hot Nico .
I wave him away and he frowns before returning to his own desk and sinking into his chair, hidden from view behind his computer screen. Thank goodness. I don’t want the judgmental eyes of a fifteen-year-old on me as I open the message.
My hands are shaking, my mind flip-flopping between scenarios of Nico breaking it off to those of him bending me over his desk upstairs.
Nico: Twentieth Floor. My office. Sunset.
A smile breaks across my face, and then immediately falls. There’s no kiss. No hint of what he wants to say or do when I get there. Five words and three full stops. No emotion.
Also, sunset? It’s midsummer and it won’t be sunset until after nine pm. What does he expect me to do until then?
I begin to type something, then delete. Type again, then delete. The little dots appear and disappear.
Another message pings through.
Nico : You’re killing me over here . What’s on your mind ?
I reply before I’ve even thought it through.
Me: You .
His response comes almost instantly.
Nico: Good. I’ve thought of nothing but you since you left.
I read it three times. It’s not a dirty message. It’s not even suggestive. It’s… sweet. It’s reassuring, but I find myself wishing he’d sent something a little more… intense. After all, this weekend was anything but sweet .
Images of our time together flicker in my mind like a slideshow. Nico naked, the sheen of sweat on his abs, his chest, his perfect dick pounding into me… Heat seeps through the phone, intensifying until it’s flowing through every cell in my body.
“What are you grinning at?”
Jack’s voice has me spinning in my chair, dropping my phone into my lap.
“Huh?”
“You look like a kid who’s just discovered the Easter Bunny is real. Who’s the message from?” He nods at where my phone lies discarded on my thighs.
“Oh.” I glance down as if surprised to see my phone there. “Just Elly. Something stupid. You know how she is.”
A flicker of… something crosses his brow, and when he speaks, each word is enunciated. “I do know.”
Why is he being weird?
Before I can dwell on that thought, Jack changes the subject. “Spa meeting at ten. We’re all coming. The team. Looking forward to seeing what you’ve got.”
“Can’t wait.”
Jack grins, slides one hand in his pocket and saunters back to his office. Even though I can only see the back of my brother’s head, I know he’s flashing his charming smile at every female he passes because they turn to him like sunflowers straining for the light.
I’m struck then by the difference between Nico and my brother. Jack invites the attention, whereas Nico doesn’t. And for Jack, the smile of a random woman in the street or the office or a restaurant energizes him.
But Nico…
I don’t want them. I want you .
He said it all those weeks ago, when he booked me into the spa on my first day. I didn’t know how serious he was, but I probably should have. He’s Nico Hawkston. He always gets what he wants, and my objections have well and truly fallen by the wayside because I want him, too. All of him. All the fucking time.
I can’t hold back my smile, butterflies skittering in my stomach. How the hell am I going to survive a meeting in Nico’s presence without burning up?
The meeting with Argentum is on the ground floor, in one of the larger meeting rooms. Jack and I arrive early, sitting together in the lobby waiting for David Webster to arrive. My pulse flutters like a caged bird, knowing it won’t be long until I get to see Nico again.
Jack’s twisting a biro round his knuckles. “When did you last speak to Nico?”
The question hits me like a bucket of ice water.
Crap . I’ve never been good at keeping secrets. I hate them. And I don’t want to lie to Jack. It feels weird. But at the same time, I can’t break it to him when I have no idea what I would say. We’re fucking? We’re making love? We’re having casual sex and it’s really great? It’s not as though Nico’s my boyfriend. Are we even exclusive? If it’s only sex— let it not be only sex— then perhaps I can keep quiet and let it fizzle out.
I almost laugh at the idea of anything between us fizzling out. If it’s going to end, it’ll be with a bang.
“Last week?” I say, keeping my response deliberately vague.
“And you’re okay with him being at your meeting?” Jack leans forwards a little, as though he wants to be sure he has my full attention.
“Yes.”
“Great. Progress, then.”
A short burst of laughter explodes from my lips. Progress . If that’s what you call being fucked every which way for forty-eight hours by a man I cannot stop thinking about. Jack shoots me a look like I’ve lost my mind. And it must seem like I have, because this reaction makes no sense to anyone but me, and maybe Nico. Thankfully, the clip of footsteps distracts us both. We jump to our feet, Jack’s back ramrod straight.
Nico rounds the corner, the sight of him hollowing me out. Even if I woke up next to him every day for the rest of my life, I don’t think I’d ever get used to seeing a face so ruggedly exquisite.
He’s freshly shaved, his square jaw irresistibly exposed this way. None of the rough stubble that grazed my most private area remains. I lament its removal, like he’s shedding memories of me.
What a stupid thought. I really am losing it. I must be.
He approaches us, his expression serious. “Jack.” He takes my brother’s hand in a tight grip. “This won’t take long. A quick meeting to let them know we’re all on board. Hawkston and Lansen all lined up. United front. That’s the best way forward.”
“Excellent,” Jack says.
Nico turns to me, giving me a tiny professional nod. “Kate.”
He’s good. So cool . There’s no indication he knows me any better than any other random member of staff, and certainly not that we spent the past couple of days naked and contorted in every possible position. I get a flash of riding his face until I screamed and heat rages through me.
Shit. Get it together .
Nico, on the other hand, is completely dispassionate; perhaps even a tad aloof. If he hadn’t messaged me earlier, I’d be convinced he’s indifferent.
He offers me his hand, and I shake it. The contact sends a zap of energy up my arm. I don’t want to let go, but before I’ve even processed the thought, Nico releases me.
He didn’t even squeeze. Nothing. I can hardly believe this is the same man I shared a bed with all weekend. This is his public persona; it’s sexy as sin, but it’s a mask he wears for the world. The fact that I’ve seen what’s behind it—what’s under that tailored suit—makes my heart race and the back of my neck heat.
He turns to the main entrance, nodding his head to indicate we follow him. How does he make a simple head tilt so commanding?
David Webster walks into the office, precisely on time. Father Christmas in a pinstriped suit. “What a building this is,” he says as we approach, gazing up at the high lobby ceiling as if it’s the night sky. “Pretty different from the old place, eh, Kate?”
I nod in agreement and we all exchange pleasantries before Nico places a hand on Mr. Webster’s shoulder, directing him towards the meeting room. “Let’s focus, shall we? The Knightsbridge spa project?”
When we reach the door, Nico allows me to pass before him. His fingers skate along my lower back for the briefest of seconds, but even the meagre contact has flames scorching beneath my clothes. I try to catch his eye, but he’s deep in conversation with David.
Nico strides to the front of the room and begins the introduction. I’m barely listening to his words, too fascinated by the way he commands the space and holds the rapt attention of everyone who was already seated in the room when we arrived.
I tune back in just in time to hear him say, “We look forward to working with Argentum.” Nico points at David Webster, who bows his head. “And now it’s time for me to hand you over to Kate Lansen.”
Nico gives me a professional smile. Our secret swells within me like a balloon about to pop. I bite my tongue to stop myself jumping up and yelling that we’ve had sex. Repeatedly. But even if I spoke the words aloud, I’m not sure anyone would believe me.
Nico takes his seat right next to me, so close I can feel the heat of him. He turns to me and whispers, “You look fantastic.”
I try to repress the pleasurable shiver that rolls through me as the warm breath of his words caresses my ear.
“Kate?” David asks.
“Yes. Right.” I shuffle my papers in front of me.
Something touches my thigh, and I jerk in my chair. It takes me a second to realise the touch is deliberate. I glance at Nico, but he’s staring at me with an expression of complete respect, his eyes communicating Go ahead. You’ve got this .
David draws his chin in, one bushy white eyebrow arching. “Are you quite all right, Kate?”
“Yes.” I place a hand on my heart and clear my throat. “Absolutely.”
I begin talking, running through the projections, the details, the architectural plans for the site. David listens attentively, but I’m finding it hard to concentrate with Nico right beside me. His professional mask doesn’t slip an inch, but even so, my body is tingling right beneath the surface, and I swear my underwear is wet.
All the while, Nico keeps his entire focus on David, and when David directs a question to him, Nico answers as though nothing in the world could distract him.
I focus doubly hard on what I’m here to do, managing — almost — to ignore the fact that the man I fucked all weekend is mere inches away from me.
When I finish, Jack smiles at me, silently telling me that I pulled it off.
Nico gives my thigh a reassuring squeeze, and then places both his hands on the table and interlinks his fingers.
Maybe it’s the relief of my presentation being over, or Nico’s general proximity, or that final touch beneath the table, but arousal floods my system like water rushing through a broken dam. Heat pools in my core, and I want nothing more than to have Nico fuck me on the table, just the way he did in Paris. I have to resist reaching out and kissing him, right here in the meeting room. As ridiculous as it sounds, I’m not that far from orgasm and my brother is sitting on my other side in complete ignorance.
I’m breathing far too heavily for a casual project meeting, and the humiliating realisation crashes down on me that I did this to myself . I’m so obsessed with Nico that I can’t sit next to him without thinking about sex.
I press the back of my hand against my cheek. It’s boiling. I glance around the table to check if anyone has noticed my lack of composure.
No one has. Thank God.
When my heartbeat calms, I tune back into the conversation.
Nico is talking to David. “Is there anything else?” Nico asks. “Do you have any questions for us?”
“Not a question as such, but an announcement of sorts.” David’s expression tightens. “I’ve faced unforeseen health issues and been advised to decrease my workload. I’m handing over the reins of Argentum and the spa project.”
I frown at the suggestion of health issues. What could be wrong? I know you can’t see every issue from the outside, but David looks healthy and trim for a man in his sixties, even with his rosy Father Christmas cheeks and white beard, and I know from our client lunches he’s careful about what he eats and drinks. And he ran the London marathon this year, so he’s fit too.
“I’m so sorry to hear that,” Nico says. Jack echoes the sentiments.
“Nothing serious?” I ask.
David grumbles a little, clearly uncomfortable with the question. Jack throws me a look like I shouldn’t have asked.
“Oh, you know, you get to a certain age and the body isn’t as robust as it used to be. It’ll blow over,” David replies, but he keeps his eyes on the table and I immediately suspect he’s not being entirely truthful. “Bit of strain on the old ticker, that’s all.”
Nico frowns. “So you won’t be able to see the project through?”
“Not personally. I’ll still be on the board. Martin Brooks is stepping in to take over. And given his experience, and his relationship with your father”—he looks at Jack and me—“I can’t think of a better fit.”
A dark look passes over Jack’s face at the mention of my father’s ex business partner.
Beside me, Nico’s shoulders tense. His interlinked fingers squeeze down on the tabletop before he forcibly relaxes them and lays his palms flat.
My heart drops and all thoughts of sex and Nico fall away. What the hell is going on? Everyone around me is suddenly as taut as a high rope.
Nico nods, slowly. “Martin Brooks.”
“I thought he had retired?” Jack clarifies.
“He had. But he wants back in. Retirement bores him.” David pulls on his earlobe. “He’s our newest board member at Argentum.”
“What?” Jack’s voice is so sharp that David draws back in his seat.
“Didn’t you know?” I put my hand on Jack’s arm. “He told me at your birthday drinks.”
“He was at my party?” Shit. Jack really didn’t know. “Why didn’t you mention it?” He scrapes his fingers through his hair. “You could’ve fucking said something.”
I lean away from Jack’s over the top reaction, and a cramping sensation seizes my stomach.
Martin hadn’t crossed my mind since the party. And, if I’m honest, the only person I was thinking about afterwards was Nico.
“Sorry. I didn’t think it was relevant,” I say.
Tension creeps around the table as the other people in the room deliberately avert their eyes from our awkward discussion.
David shuffles in his chair, looking anxiously at Jack. “After all the work Martin did with your father, it’s only natural he’d have a fondness for the two of you,” David explains, again looking at me and Jack. “And he’s interested in the spa project because the idea goes back to when he and Gerard Lansen were in charge. He says he misses your dad.”
“Bullshit,” Jack spits.
David’s hand flies to his throat as he fixes Jack with an incredulous look.
Nico’s fingertips leave the desk, hands half-raised in warning at Jack; a motion that wordlessly conveys, ‘ Rein it in and shut the fuck up .’
Jack glowers beneath lowered brows.
“Have you done a handover?” Nico asks David.
“Not officially. We’ll do it for the board, and Hawkston too, if you like. Martin won’t change anything. He knows my aims for the project. You’ll hardly notice the difference, I’m sure. We’re very aligned in our vision. He knows all the details. Kate can meet directly with him in the future, I assume, once it’s all tidied up and passed over to him.”
Nico and Jack share a sideways glance I don’t understand.
“We’ll have to discuss it,” Nico snaps, before calling the meeting to an abrupt end, leaving me and half the team confused. He immediately rises and guides David Webster to the door, escorting him from the office.
I grab Jack’s arm. “What’s wrong?”
He shakes me off. “Leave it, Kate. This has nothing to do with you.”
“It’s my project.”
Jack dismisses my objection with a look, pushes back his chair and follows Nico, leaving me to pack up my documents and trail behind them.
By the time I catch up, David is gone and Nico and Jack are leaving the building together, deep in discussion about something that they clearly have no intention of sharing with me.
I stand in the grand lobby of the Hawkston building, with the sensation that the ground is shifting beneath my feet.
Something’s wrong, and I have no idea what it is.