4. CHAPTER 4
CHAPTER 4
SIERRA
Tapping a pen on my desk, I sit back in my chair at the Safe Haven Center still thinking about my conversation from fifteen minutes ago with one of my youth participants. Brooklyn, or Brook as she prefers to be called, will be eighteen soon and has been coming into the center for a couple of months now. I’ve been trying to get her to come out of her shell but she’s locked up tighter than a sumo wrestler wearing Spanx.
When she first started coming here, she wouldn’t talk to anybody and stood around people watching. I’m a social worker, but I didn’t need my education to tell me what I already recognized in her. There was a sadness in her eyes that I connected with immediately, as I’ve seen them in my own reflection growing up whenever I thought too much of my mom. Unlike Brook, instead of wearing my feelings like a sleeve on my arm, I kept mine hidden from the outside world. Few people are aware of how much my grief over my mom has altered me.
When I first noticed her, I tried talking to her, but the most I would get was a nod or shake of her head. I never gave up and eventually, I got her to give short answers, which I considered a win because it was better than nothing at all. I never push too hard because I understand when she is ready to speak, it will have to be on her terms, but I’ve been tirelessly working on gaining Brook’s trust so she will open up to me, and hopefully, I can help her through whatever it is that haunts her.
Today she knocked on my office door and for the first time, she joined me in here, taking a seat on the recliner. When I asked if she was excited about graduating school, she frowned but then spoke more than she ever has. I was excited to finally make more progress. She told me she will graduate next year as she fell behind in her homeschooling. I spoke to her about the programs we offer free of charge for our youth and explained the tutoring program. She didn’t seem excited about it, but I gave her my number and told her to call me if she ever needed to talk or if she changed her mind about the tutoring.
My office door opening has me jumping a little bit in surprise as I was deep in thought. Marisa pops her head in and gives me a sly smirk. “You still daydreaming about Mr. Orgasmic?” she jokes.
Rolling my eyes at her, I answer a little too quickly, “No.”
I have thought about Kason often these past two weeks, more than I care to admit to Marisa or myself. With him, I didn’t need my vibrator to get me off when I came home the next morning because he knew just where to touch, suck and lick. Kason is a connoisseur of the female orgasm, and he was able to give me three earth-shattering experiences—each more powerful than the one prior—while other guys I’ve been with have failed at even one.
What amazes me is how often his image pops into my head. I have dated men for months, and when it was over, I never looked back. What boggles my mind the most is why a man I spent one passionate night with won’t disappear. I argue with myself that I’ve never felt such a strong attraction or connection to any of my exes as I did with him.
That must be why it was so hard to leave the next morning. I woke up feeling safe and warm in his arms, a part of me not wanting to leave. We had known each other only hours but those hours were amazing, and I’ve never felt so alive. There was an undeniable chemistry between us.
I had slowly moved out of his hold, and while he slept, I dressed on wobbly legs that felt like they might give out on me. Before leaving, I took some time to watch him while he slumbered. He looked handsome and at peace. His hair was a perfect mess. Probably because of the way I yanked on it while he ate me. I wanted to run my hands through it one last time. His soft lips were slightly open while he breathed, and the blanket rested just below his happy trail but covered his impressive manhood.
When I first saw it, I was intimidated, but I also wanted it. I don’t think I’ve ever thought of a cock as mouthwatering, but his was. I wanted another look and to have another taste, but one-night stands aren’t supposed to be about that. I almost gave in and crawled back into bed with him—almost—but instead, my common sense prevailed, and I quietly snuck out of the room.
If I’m honest with myself, my connection to that man scared the shit out of me. It was so strong within me that I tried to close my eyes from what he was making me feel and when he insisted I keep them open, the intimacy of the act hit me so hard I’ve not been able to stop thinking about it. My sore legs didn’t help me forget about it either. I ached for days after. He made good on that promise.
I look up at Marisa who is still waiting for me to elaborate. “Okay, so I think about him. It’s no big deal.” I shrug to emphasize my point.
“You should have got his number or at least his last name. We could have found him, and just imagine all the hot sex you could have been having these past two weeks with him instead of your B.O.B. while thinking of him.”
Throwing my pencil at her, she ducks while snickering. “Well, I didn’t get either so no use dwelling on what wasn’t meant to be.” I’m not sure if I’m trying to convince myself or her because Lord knows I’ve been dwelling .
Marisa looks at her watch and then back up at me. “Fifteen minutes until the players arrive, maybe one of them can take your mind off of orgasm man.”
Standing up from my chair, I point out my office door, giggling at her name for him. “Go. I’ll be out later once I finish typing this note, then I’ll come find you.”
She leaves, and I slump back into my chair doubting any football player could ever take my mind off Kason whatever his last name is.
We have a couple of NFL players from the New York Cougars coming into the center today. The Safe Haven Center is a non-profit organization that caters to our at-risk youth in the city. We provide meals, recreational activities, therapy, and a safe place for them to come and participate in our programs. We’re lucky to have big corporate sponsors to help with the cost of the programs because, without them, we wouldn’t be able to offer so many opportunities.
The players will be signing some autographs and meeting some of the youth. They are really excited to meet them. Me, I’m happy they are happy but I can’t say I’m a fan of the sport. This meet and greet was something one of our corporate sponsors on the board set up for them.
Twenty minutes later, I leave my desk and grab the camera from my office credenza so I can take some pictures of the kids and players. I hurry as fast as I can in my heels to the gym, hoping I didn’t miss too much. Right as I’m about to walk through the double doors leading into the gym where everyone is gathered, Marisa comes flying out in a panic.
She grabs my upper arms tightly and squeals in excitement. “Oh my god, you’ll never guess who's here?”
“Um, football players.”
“Oh, girl. You have no idea. Not just any players but one very special player.”
“What’s so great about him?”
Her smile grows bigger. “Mr. Orgasmic is one of the players,” she squeals again and starts jumping up and down while clapping her hands in excitement.
It takes a moment for what she said to sink in.
Holy crap. Kason, my one-night stand hot as hell Kason, is a football player? Those darn butterflies start swirling in my stomach at the thought of seeing him again.
Unable to help myself as my body seems to have a mind of its own, I move closer to the gym entrance and look through the windows in the door. It only takes a moment to spot him, and my hand comes up to cover my mouth when I let out a gasp. He’s playing basketball with one of the youths and his back is to us. A back I remember fondly scratching my nails down as he slammed into me.
I never thought I would see him again, yet he’s here in the Safe Haven Center. My eyes zero in on his tight ass. I can still feel his firm cheeks as they clenched in my hands while he shoved his cock in my mouth. Just remembering the dominant way he took control has my body starting to heat up.
Will he remember our night together like I do? Who am I kidding? The man probably has one-night stands all the time. There’s no way a man this sexy doesn’t have women throwing their panties at him daily.
The nerves start to settle in, and I shake my hands in front of me. What will I say to him? Hello, remember me? You screwed me silly two weeks ago, and I’ve not been able to stop thinking about you or your big cock.
Suddenly, Kason stops what he’s doing and looks in our direction. I jump and quickly turn around with my back to the door. Crap . Did he see me?
When Marisa laughs, I look over at her. “What’s so funny?”
She points at me and says, “You are. I’ve never seen you act this way. You’re always so cool and confident about guys and now you look like a skittish mouse hiding from a cat. ”
She’s right, but there’s nothing I can do at this point. Like it or not, I’m going to have to see him face-to-face. I reach a hand up to my head to fluff my hair. Consider me vain, but if I’m going to see him again, I want to look good.
Attempting to fix the dark strands, I feel the bun I put it in this morning instead. Hmm, I forgot I put my hair up in my state. I look down at my clothing. Normally, I’m in casual attire, but I had a board meeting this morning and dressed in a professional style. I’m wearing a knee-length black skirt and a white blouse, paired with four-inch black heels. It might not be the short halter dress I wore the last time we saw each other, but I can definitely pull off the sexy librarian look right now. Hopefully, he has a librarian kink. I internally giggle at my wayward thoughts.
Marisa again laughs at my self-perusal, and when I glare at her, she stops. Then her eyes grow big looking at the door to my back, and I just know he’s there on the other side of the window.
Trying to calm my thumping heart, I close my eyes and inhale deeply before releasing it. Here goes nothing. I step away from the door and turn towards it.
There he stands on the other side, Mr. Orgasmic, a big smile lighting up his gorgeous face, flashing those dimples. I’m so screwed. I thought I vividly remembered how handsome he was, but seeing him again in the flesh makes me realize he’s even more gorgeous.
As he opens the door, Marisa grabs my camera from my hands and announces, “Talk to you later.” She gives a little wave of her fingers and rushes inside.
Kason allows her to pass and steps out into the hallway with me. He’s wearing black athletic shorts and a red T-shirt with what I’m assuming is his team’s logo on it. I remember every inch of what that muscled, toned body looks like underneath the clothes, and I flush at the image of a naked Kason in my mind .
“Hello, Sierra.” His voice is as deep and husky as I remember, and it sends chills down my spine.
“Um, hi Kason. Funny meeting you here.”
Brilliant Sierra. Funny meeting you here? Who says that?
His smile grows as his eyes scan my face then tilts his head a little to the side. “Why are you so nervous? The Sierra I remember was confident.”
“I’m not nervous,” I lie as I begin to wipe my hands on my skirt, and he watches with clear amusement.
“I beg to differ.” He smirks.
I’m not going to try and deny it again so I offer a shrug instead.
He steps up close to me and picks up my hand, raising it to his soft lips, and kisses it, sending a zap of arousal through my body. Oh, he’s so smooth.
The temperature seems to rise from his proximity; I feel the heat of him or maybe it’s my body burning me from the inside out. Either way, it’s hot and it takes all my self-control to not start fanning myself.
“I’ve thought of you,” he admits in that low baritone voice of his.
“You have?”
He gives a quick nod but says no more. We stare at each other, eyes locked in a way that has sexual tension thickening around us. A part of me wants to blame our night together on the alcohol, but the truth is, I’m stone-cold sober right now and my attraction to him is even stronger now.
It’s him who breaks the spell first as his eyes take in my body from head to toe. His smoldering gaze peruses my breasts before stopping on my eyes. “I like your outfit, Sierra Lawson.”
Apparently, he does like the sexy librarian look. Wait? He said my full name.
“How did you know my last name?” I don’t recall ever giving it to him.
Kason reaches his hand out and for a moment I think he’s going to touch my breast, but instead, he points to the magnetic name tag on my blouse and taps it. Oh, I forgot about that .
Leaning in closer, his spicy scent overwhelms my senses. He leans into my neck, trailing his nose from my collarbone to my ear. “I can’t stop thinking about you. Fuck, I’m salivating for another taste of you. Would you like that? Would you like my tongue on your pussy licking you and drinking your juices?” he whispers, and I shiver from his dirty words and his warm breath on my neck. My legs are like jello, and I have no idea how I’m still standing. “Tell me something. How long did it take for you to be able to walk straight again?”
I take a quick breath, recalling how wobbly my legs were when I left that morning. I felt him between my legs for days, a memory that had me pulling out my vibrator more than once.
All too quickly, he pulls away. He winks and confidently proclaims, “I’ll be seeing you soon, Sierra. Don’t skip leg day on your workouts; you’ll need the strength.” Then he turns and walks back into the gym.
I fleetingly remember I need to take pictures of the kids and the players in the gym, but I don’t think my legs will work right now. Instead, I quickly scan the area to be sure no one saw us because that interaction with him was so unprofessional. I can’t imagine what the staff might think of me if they saw our exchange. Luckily, no one is in the hallway at this moment, and hopefully, not earlier.
Once my breathing has returned to normal, I manage to take the steps necessary to enter the gym. I meet Marisa and retrieve my camera while she grins slyly at me. When she starts to speak, I lift my hand and cut her off. “Not now. We’ll talk later.”
“Oh, you bet your ass we will be talking about this later.”
I shake my head and shift on my feet as I start to take pictures. I try to ignore Kason’s presence but I can’t stop looking in his direction. When my gaze lingers on him, I notice he’s staring at me and quickly look away .
After getting enough pictures, I decide to do what any self-respecting woman these days would do. I hurry back to my office to research him now that I have more information to go on.
An hour later, I close my laptop with a sigh after learning more than I wanted to know. He’s the leading receiver in the league this year…and last. He was in the running for the Heisman trophy—I had to look up what the hell that was—and he’s also a bit of a fuck boy. Infamous for dating New York Socialites, models, and even a couple of Playboy playmates. The man is busy where women are concerned and so far out of my league.
Not that I think I’m beneath these women. I don’t. I look like my mom, who was beautiful, but this man is famous for his exploits off the field as much as on. I walked into one night with him with my eyes wide open, but now, thinking if this were to go any further, that I would be one of many women is something that doesn’t sit well with me. I’m not looking for a relationship with him, but I’m certainly not going to be one of the many orifices he uses to release himself. I need to think about this before I see him again.
Standing, I grab my purse and lift the strap over my shoulder. I’m not going back in to see if he’s still there before I leave. The man is a sweet temptation I don’t need.
Closing the door, I lean against it. Although I tried hard not to, I thought of him the whole way home. I shake my head and walk into my bedroom. Sitting on the bed, I remove my heels. When I stand, ready to remove my blouse, I hear my phone chime from my purse. Grabbing it, I open my texts and squint at the message.
Unknown :
Hello
I don’t answer unknown numbers. It’s probably a wrong number anyway. I set the phone on my bed, undress, and head into the bathroom attached to my room. I live in a two-bedroom apartment with two baths and an open-concept living room and kitchen. I needed two bedrooms so my family would have a place to stay for visits. It’s quaint and perfect for me. I had to dip into the trust my mother left me, but it’s in a safe neighborhood and my uncles approve of it.
Thinking of Mom, melancholy creeps in as it always does. I see her sad eyes and remember quite clearly the times she would stay in bed for days. On some of those days, my uncles would care for me until she was feeling better. Her low times were scary and lonely. I never knew what kind of day it would be until I knew what her mood was. My Uncle Tony said she wasn’t always so down. There was even a time when she was vivacious and enjoyed life.
There wasn’t a runway she didn’t walk or a magazine that didn’t want her gracing their covers. She was a hot commodity and lived in the limelight. It wasn’t until she fell pregnant with me and her married boyfriend turned her away that she sank to the deepest lows and moved back to her hometown to hide from the world never to be photographed again. Maybe she did the best she could for me, but I resent her for not loving me enough and being the mother I needed.
Whenever I have these moments of sadness, I worry I’ll turn out to be like her, and that scares me. Even though my life with her wasn’t easy, I picture myself with a little girl of my own one day and imagine us loving each other so much that there are never dark times. It’s probably why I spoil Ky’s daughter, Riley, with so much affection. When I’m with her my need to be a loving mother someday is strong.
Sighing, I turn on the shower and step in, letting the water wash away my disturbing mood. When I’ve finished, I feel better. I dry off and change into my red sleep shorts and matching cami. Although it’s still early for bed, I crawl into it, turn on the television, and lose myself in a movie.
An hour later, my phone chimes again with a text, and I pick it up. It’s from the same number.
Unknown:
Are you ignoring me?
I tap my fingers on my thigh. Maybe it’s someone I know but don’t have programmed into my phone so I respond.
Me:
Who is this??
The bubbles pop up, indicating they are responding.
Unknown:
The man who’s dying to have you in his bed again. I need more of you. One night wasn’t enough.
My hand flies up to my chest as my heartbeat picks up speed. Even being aware of Kason’s reputation, something about knowing he’s been thinking about me and wants another night has me responding despite knowing better. My body wants another night too. My thighs rub together at the ache I feel when I recall how talented that man was with his tongue and his perfect cock. Maybe just one more night together might not be such a big deal. We can each walk away sated and be done with it.
Even as I think this though, I worry that I’m full of shit because Kason isn’t a man that can be forgotten as easily as the other men before him.