Chapter 25 #2
“It’s alright,” I say on instinct, and Lukas balks at me.
“No, it’s not. Don’t let me off that easily.”
We chuckle a little, and I ease back into the chair. "There aren't any awards to win for keeping your suffering to yourself. It's okay to let it go, Lukas, to let someone in."
He gives a half-hearted nod. "Mags was good at that, at getting me to talk. It's been hard since…" his eyes stay focused ahead, seemingly on the open door of the horse barn when his words change course. “It doesn’t feel like last night was real.”
I twist my brows together, turning to face him. “Which part?”
“Everything after the bar. I’ve had some real down days this last year, but that…
” he trails off, and I can see his shoulders wanting to draw up, to cower over his actions.
“I’ve been in fights before, but last night felt …
violent. I couldn’t control myself. That’s never been me, Holly, I swear. I’ve never lost it like that.”
I suck in a breath, wanting to catch him while he’s in this moment, but not wanting to scare him off. “Sometimes we need the help of others to get out of a dark place.”
He nods, a slight bobble of his head, but I don’t think he means it.
“I could work with you, if you’d like.” I don’t have nearly the skillset that a licensed therapist or psychiatrist might have, but I have some experience with mental health.
“Or I’d be happy to find you an appropriate counselor.
But I think you need to talk to someone, Lukas.
You need to let out what is making you so bitterly angry. ”
“Candi is pregnant.”
His statement is so unexpected, so abrupt, I choke on my own saliva, sitting up so quickly that my coffee sloshes over the side of the cup, soaking my lap.
“Shit,” I hiss, swiping it away and setting my mug on the wicker table next to me.
“What?” I turn to make sure no one can hear us.
I had only learned of Candi last night, as I’m sure his brothers did.
I’m not even sure if his parents know he was seeing someone, let alone that the relationship is over.
“I know,” Lukas says, scrubbing his hands over his face.
“Fuck, we dated for only a few weeks. We sort of realized we didn’t have much in common outside of the bedroom, and during that time, she had taken her dog to the new vet in town, only to realize she had a crush on the doctor.
She suggested we end it, and I was thankful. ”
“And now?” I prompt.
“And now, she finds out she’s pregnant.” He turns to me, and the tears are back in his eyes with one threatening to spill past the corner of his lid. “I’m going to be a father, Holly.”
I reach over the small table that separates us to grab Lukas’s shoulder, and he raises his bandaged hand to rest on top of mine.
“Lukas,” I say in a hushed voice. “You’re going to be a dad.
” My heart swells for him. Even with the fear and anxiety that is so obviously racking him, he’s going to be a dad, and that baby is going to be welcomed into the Hart family so fast it’ll make their head spin.
“I’m sure you’re scared, and that’s normal.
But we are all here for you. Your family loves you so much, Lukas. I hope you realize that.”
He nods, pulling his hand from where it had been placed on top of mine, and uses it to wipe away the tears that are falling. “Fuck, I really need to get it together.”
“And you will. Are you and Candi…”
“Getting back together?” he finishes my sentence before shaking his head.
“Hell no. Definitely better off as friends. She’s a cool girl, so I lucked out that way.
Her and the vet are kind of together, he knows about the …
the baby, so we’re going to try some co-parenting Three's Company bullshit.” He laughs, the sound mixed with a slight exhale.
“God, it feels good to say the words out loud. I haven’t told anyone yet. ”
The meaning of that isn’t lost on me. “I’ll keep your secret for as long as you need, but I think you should tell your family. Your mom is going to flip, and I mean that in a good way.”
A quiet meow sounds from under the porch, and before I know it, Chandler runs out, bouncing up the steps and running to sit on Lukas’s lap.
“Hey, Chan,” he says softly, running a calloused hand over the cat's back. “What do I do next?”
I’m not sure if he’s asking the question to me, or the cat, but I answer anyway, “You need to decide what type of man you want to be. Do you want to be a man Magnolia would miss? That she might come back to someday? Do you want to be a man who is worthy of being a father and support Candi?”
He nods aggressively at that.
“Then do anything, but don’t do nothing. Don’t waste away anymore. Take a minute to soak in all the good you have. Your family, your friends, a job. Sometimes it’s hard to remember the good things in life when we feel like we’ve lost it all.”
“Thank you, Holly. Thank you for talking to me when I’ve only been an ass to you.”
Lukas keeps his gaze on Chandler’s back, mesmerized by the smooth movements of his hand over his hair.
His face is softer now. Now that the secrets are out, I can see the real Lukas emerging.
The one that fits with the rest of the Hart family.
The one that has so much to offer if he could only see it.
“So, you’ve fallen for my brother?” he asks, twisting over to peek an eye at me.
I don’t even try to hide my smile. “Absolutely.”
“Good,” Lukas says, snapping his fingers to his side so Chandler jumps off his lap. He stands, reaching to help me out of the chair. He pulls me up, and an exhausted grunt leaves both of our mouths as he does. “Because my brother is absolutely in love with you.”