Chapter 36 – Grady
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
GRADY
The nightmares were relentless last night. Even with Dylan beside me, and the scent of her shampoo in my nose, they never let up.
It happened because of what I’m doing against my will. But I gave my word, and my word seems to be all I have these days.
But the panic attack still tries to take hold when I walk into the studio. I hate knowing I’ll be standing in front of a camera, documenting the body I can’t look at in the mirror most days. Mine. Physically strong. Horrifically imperfect.
I’m ready to walk out of the studio not two seconds after I walk in. Two fucking seconds, but what I see when I throw open the curtain in the studio breaks my fucking heart.
And solidifies why I’m here.
Brody, standing in front of a black backdrop. His little legs are drowning in Drew’s turnout pants, his dad’s helmet is huge on his head, and his eyes are looking straight at the camera with the same mixture of grief and pride that I feel every time I look at him.
My feet are rooted in place. My eyes lock on the little boy who has so much courage that there is no way I can walk out of here. There’s no way I can run from showing my scars when he has invisible scars he lives with every single goddamn day. And he’s five .
I watch with tears burning in my eyes and an ache in my gut that makes me feel physically ill.
You promised, Malone.
You promised Drew you’d take care of them. The calendar helps with that.
You promised the guys you’d do the shoot. That proves they can depend on me.
You promised Dylan you’d follow through. That proves that she means more to me than I’m willing to admit.