Chapter 3 #2
Finding actual recipes for penile-shaped baked goods isn’t an exact science.
Usually I skim through my favorite Pinterest pastry boards until I find an idea that strikes a chord with me.
My mind takes over, imagining different ingredients, and how easily the item could be shaped.
Any cookie can be molded into a penis shape, but ingredients matter.
I’m not making chocolate chip cookies here.
It would look like the poor penis had a bad STD.
But a white chocolate macadamia nut cookie?
That could work. An eclair with the perfect cream filing?
The book club ladies were simply feral for that one.
At the beginning, we used our hands to shape our creations.
They were never perfect, and it bothered me.
No one wants a lumpy dick in their mouth, whether a pastry or not.
So I found a small custom boutique online that specialized in 3D printing anything and everything.
Was the guy who I spoke with slightly confused when I asked for twenty silicone dick molds?
Probably. I clearly heard him gasp on the phone when I said they needed to be nine inches in length, though.
It’s a romance book club. If we’re building penises, they need to be above average ones.
I’m sure he’s going to love me when I contact him in the future about making vagina molds. While easier to shape with our hands, a proper silicone mold will make everyone happy.
Me. It’ll make me happy.
And honestly, as the ringleader for the Cock Cookie Club, that’s all that matters.
As I mindlessly scroll through Pinterest looking for any inspiration, my phone rings. I stare at it for a moment, shocked that anyone would call me. Who doesn’t use texting as the main line of communication these days? When I see it’s my brother Luca, I pick up.
“Normal people text, Luca,” I tell him .
“Yeah, well, you ignore me most of the time when I text, so now I’m calling,” he replies. “You want to tell me what happened today?”
My spine straightens as a wave of anger courses through my veins. “If there had been anything that happened today that required any of my family finding out, I would have told them .”
He chuckles bitterly. “You’re such a fucking liar, Belle. You wouldn’t have told us a goddamn thing, which is why I’m glad I ran into Seb so he could tell me.”
“I can’t believe him!” I burst out. “It was nothing!”
“Alright,” Luca says. “Go look in the mirror and tell me if you have any marks on your neck from that asshole. If it really wasn’t anything, I’ll apologize immediately. Better yet…”
The phone beeps in my ear as Luca switches to a video call, and I sigh in frustration as I answer.
I’m barely on the screen before he swears.
I feel the blood drain from my face, as even I can see the fingerprint bruises across my neck.
I’d hoped they wouldn’t be too noticeable, but I’ve always bruised like a banana.
“It’s not nothing, Belle. A man putting his hands on you is not nothing,” Luca says softly. “I’m so fucking glad Seb was there. He said he didn’t intend to stop at the bakery. Said he just felt like he had to go. Felt pulled there.”
“I could have handled it without him,” I mutter. “I was just about to reach for my phone when he barged in.”
“Jesus Christ. What the hell is your problem with him, Belle? As far as I know, the guy hasn’t done anything to you.”
I honestly don’t know what my deal is with him, other than I find him exceptionally handsome, and it’s unnerving to me. “I don’t trust him.”
Luca clearly rolls his eyes at me. “You don’t trust him, but the entire family does. Hell, he’s been one of my best friends for years. You think so poorly of me, then? Do you honestly think I’d bring someone around our family that I didn’t feel was a good person? ”
I shrug. “I don’t know. Maybe.”
“He’s a good guy, sis. I’d never say that if I wasn’t absolutely sure of it. He was so keyed up when I saw him. I had to talk him out of trying to find your ex and beating the hell out of him. He was straight murderous when I ran into him.”
“Oh,” I whisper, looking down at the dotted pattern on my countertops.
I don’t know how to process that. Sebastian is no one to me.
He’s friends with my brothers, and I sometimes catch him looking at me.
But then he opens his mouth and stupid shit comes out.
Once he suggested he didn’t think I could carry empty trays between my car and the bakery.
“You need to let people in,” Luca says quietly.
My eyes pop up to meet his. “Why bother when people like Rick are out there? Even Amelia, who I thought was my best friend, totally screwed me over. Well, she screwed Rick, but whatever.”
Luca’s eyes heat. “She was sleeping with him?”
“Yup.”
“I never liked her,” he states, and loud laughter bursts from my lips. “Really. I never liked her. She hit on me all the time, and I know she tried to hook up with Dom a time or two.”
“Everyone hits on you, so I never thought anything of it. I didn’t know about Dom, though.”
“Well, good riddance. And had I known your ex had the name Rick, I would have told you to dump the bastard months ago. But with a name like that, he can’t be trusted. What parent gives a baby the name Rick? Fucking ridiculous,” Luca mutters with a shake of his head.
“Rick is a nickname. His name is Richard, but his dad is also a Richard, so they called him Rick.”
“Explains so fucking much. He’s a junior,” he sneers. I hear a shriek from behind Luca, and he turns to address someone. When he faces me again, he says, “I have to go. Caleb learned how to climb out of his crib, so we moved him to a toddler bed. What one-year-old climbs out of a crib?”
“Sounds just like something his dad would do,” I comment.
“Mom told Hannah that I was a daredevil as a kid, and now she brings it up anytime Caleb even looks like he’s gonna do something.”
“Some kids are hard-headed and have to learn things themselves.”
“Like splitting their head open? I’d rather not deal with that. Needless to say, it’s not going well.”
“For him or for you?” I ask.
“Hannah, mostly. He gives her his puppy dog eyes, and she ends up falling asleep next to him every damn night. He knows I don’t put up with that shit,” he tells me with a smile.
We say goodbye, and I stare at the dark screen on my phone after our call is disconnected.
It’s so wonderful seeing this side of my brother, where hockey isn’t the only thing that he has in his life.
Hannah brought him back to life, and watching him become a dad has been phenomenal.
I can only hope that I get to be that lucky as well.