Chapter 12
Magnolia
Imust have cried myself to sleep at some point, held tightly in Lukas’s arms, because when I try to stretch while in a half-sleep daze, my body’s still tightly pressed into him.
Cheek against his bicep, one hand curled over his stomach, the tips of my fingers tucked into the waistband of his briefs.
Like I’m terrified if I let go, he’ll be gone for good.
When I peek an eye open, and the sleep starts to dissipate, I see Lukas, fast asleep next to me.
I study the slow rise and fall of his chest, of the tattoos that cover his upper arm and trickle down to his forearm.
With only the light of the moon shining on him, I have to squint to find the small indents left over from his surgery.
I run the tip of my fingers over the wrinkled spots before raising my hand, gently sweeping back the mop of shaggy hair that falls over his forehead.
My heart aches deep inside my chest the longer I watch him. I love him so much it physically hurts, even when he’s right next to me. How much more will it hurt when we’re oceans apart?
With a slight lift of the covers, I tuck my hands into the waistband of my underwear, lifting my hips to slide them down my legs.
I do the same to my tank top, bringing it up and over my head and tossing it off the side of the bed.
Turning to Lukas, I slide my body over his, stretching until my knee hits the mattress on the other side.
My bare chest brushes against his, and with his eyes still closed, he reaches a hand up to rest on my lower back.
“Lukas,” I coo, keeping my voice soft. I press slow kisses to his neck, his jaw, before moving to the other side.
His other hand comes to my opposite hip, and he curls his fingertips, digging into my skin. One hand slides over to palm my ass, and he releases a throaty moan when he realizes I'm naked. “My dirty girl,” he rasps, his face moving to find me.
I brush my lips against his as I swirl my hips, his cock quickly hardening beneath me. His grip on my body tightens, and he pushes me against him, his breaths becoming ragged the harder he grinds us together.
I sit up, and when I look down at him, his eyes are wide, and they leave my face after a brief glance to stare at my chest.
His hands slide up my waist, palms covering my breasts. He brushes his thumbs over my nipples, and I arch into his touch, covering his hands with mine to force his grip tighter.
Rising on my knees, my fingers curl under the waistband of his briefs, tugging them over his hips and down his thighs.
I don't even bother sliding them down the rest of his legs before my hand moves to grip his cock.
I grind myself against his shaft, my pussy so wet I slide back and forth with ease.
The hand that strokes him moves faster, and I bump against my clit with each tug, a needy whimper escaping me when it does.
Lukas sits up abruptly, his lips finding my chest, and he pulls a nipple into his mouth.
He licks, bites, nips against my skin, each tender move bringing me closer to the edge.
He drags his tongue along my neck, my collarbone.
With his broad palm splayed against my ribs he dips me back so he can kiss my stomach, the center of my chest. His thumb grazes underneath the swell of my breast, and he blows gently, eyes darkening when his breath turns my wet nipples into stiff peaks.
“Lukas,” I whine, my head thrown back. He drags a hand up my throat, fingers curling around my chin to pull me back to him.
“So beautiful,” he murmurs against my lips. “My perfect girl.”
I rock my hips possessively, using my grip on his shoulder to push harder, firmer, and I can feel myself growing needier, desperate for my orgasm.
“Fuck, baby,” he whispers, his words a little broken. “You’re so wet right now. Are you going to come like this, sweetheart? Grinding your needy pussy against me?”
“Yes,” I whimper, throwing my head back as I adjust the angle.
His cock rests between us. Thick. Hard. My hips rise a little higher with each possessive roll, and with Lukas’s lips pressed to my neck, I come with an audible gasp.
My body shudders, shakes, and Lukas grips my waist, forcing my hips against him as I ride out my orgasm.
My body becomes pliable, a wave of satisfied exhaustion settling in my bones, and I lean against Lukas, needing a moment to catch my breath.
He delivers a light slap to my ass before palming my cheeks, fingertips digging into my skin, moving and stretching me for him. “Fuck, baby, you're dripping all over me.”
I smile against his shoulder, pressing a gentle kiss to his warm skin.
“And you love it,” I remind him as I rise to my knees.
A low, rumbling chuckle is his only response as I reach between us to grab his length.
I stroke him once, then twice, working my cum over him before rising again to notch the head of his cock at my entrance.
I’ve been on birth control since I was young for my heavy and irregular periods, which is something a dancer needs to have some control over. It also means that Lukas and I don’t have to use an additional form of birth control, since we’ve only been with each other.
So when I slide down on Lukas, with nothing separating us, his back arches and the veins in his neck pulsate as his head digs back into the pillow.
The moment I’m seated, I release a satisfied exhale, leaning down to lick into his mouth once more before rising.
I start out slow, swirling my hips in a smooth circle, leaning forward to grind my already sensitive clit against him.
Then I lean back, and with my free hands, I play with myself— squeezing my breasts, rolling my nipples in between my fingers.
And when I pinch them to nearly the point of pain, a soft moan escapes me and my eyes roll back in my head.
“That’s always my favorite part,” he whispers. “How I get to be the lucky fuck that lies here, watching you use me to get yourself off. I love watching you play with yourself, baby, love it so goddamn much.”
With my eyes still shut, practically rolled back in my head, I smile, biting down on my bottom lip when the roll of my hips is just right.
“I’ve always said you’re my favorite toy,” I tease.
Lukas and I bought a few toys for me to use with the distance.
Some he’s seen in person, some he’s only seen through video chats.
He loves to watch me, no matter where we are, no matter what we’re doing.
And while I love letting him watch, there’s no better feeling than him just like this.
This is something a toy could never replicate.
“God, baby,” he grunts, his eyes squeezing shut. “You’re so good. So goddamn tight.” I can tell he’s close, that I could increase the pace and make him come, but a sudden sense of sadness hits me.
“So good you’ll never forget it?”
The painful admission is out before I can stop myself from ruining the moment, and Lukas’s eyes open wide, his gaze immediately finding mine in the darkness.
His hands fly to my hips to still me, and I slow down, my palms coming to rest on his chest. “I didn’t mean to be a buzzkill,” I awkwardly whisper, running the tip of my finger over the outermost border of his tattoos. “I’m just…”
Scared. Terrified. Anxious.
This change that we’re about to face isn’t like our usual long distance.
The time difference alone will be hard. But Lukas will be in danger, no matter how much he says it will be fine.
Even if he doesn’t deploy, accidents can happen in training missions.
There will be days, weeks, even months where we won’t get to talk.
We’re going to get out of our habits of communicating, and the thought that some day we might get used to, or be okay with spending months without talking to one another terrifies me.
Slowly, but with steady determination, Lukas pulls out of me and flips me to my side, rolling me on my back. He covers my frame with his broad chest as one knee pushes my leg up and open for him. But before he slides back inside, his free hand comes up to grip my chin.
“Baby…” His eyes dart back and forth across my face, and I want to look away, even try to look away. I can feel the burning start behind my eyes, in my throat, that sting that screams impending heartbreak.
He lowers his head, his face a breath away from mine with those ocean-blue eyes somehow still sparkling in the moonlight. “Mags, baby … do you think I could ever forget about you?”
“Not forget me, no. But…”
He waits for my answer, the hand that’s holding my chin still firm as his thumb grazes a soothing rhythm back and forth over my cheek.
Somehow, I squirm under his stare. Normally, Lukas is the one that struggles to talk about what he feels.
That part has always been easy for me. It’s been easy to love him, to tell him how much I love him.
Since we started dating, I’ve never once questioned his love for me.
But the uncertainty of it all, of both of us starting new careers in new locations at the same time … there will literally be oceans separating us, new schedules, new friends. It will change us, no matter how hard we try to fight it.
His hand leaves my jaw and he lowers his face to brush a soft kiss against my lips. My hands fly up to curl around his shoulders, fingers raking through his shaggy hair.
He lines himself up and pushes back in, achingly slow, and then he nudges my chin up with his nose, lips pressed against my throat.
He draws a line with his tongue up my neck, stopping when he reaches a sensitive spot that makes me squirm.
“I can promise you, Magnolia,” he whispers, lips brushing against the shell of my ear.
“There is no world where I am alive, where I am living and breathing and not madly in love with you.”
Tears fill my eyes, and I tighten my grip around his shoulders, pulling him in so we’re chest to chest.