Chapter Ten
––––––––
NICO GROANED AND BURIED his face in his pillow. He needed his body to stop feeling sick. He hadn’t thrown up, but he felt like he was about to, with his mouth filling with saliva and his stomach churning unpleasantly.
All this stress was clearly getting to him. Everything was happening at once, and Nico was floundering.
Silas was still out there, threatening everyone in the forest, including the people Nico cared about.
Nico was working with his father, which was stressful enough as it was because of how nitpicky his father was.
Nico understood why, but he also wished his father’s behavior didn’t make him dread walking into the office every morning.
Then, there was Mackenzie.
Everything was going well with him. They were still seeing each other every time they could, which was a bit complicated considering how much time Nico had to spend with his father for work.
Thankfully, his father hadn’t said anything again about his sneaking out.
Sometimes, Nico caught him watching him, and he waited for something to happen, but nothing had so far.
It looked like his father trusted him enough to let him do what he felt he should when it came to his personal life, which was a relief.
Nico understood that his personal life could impact the life of the entire clowder.
He wasn’t just a man. He was an alpha—well, a future one, but he was held to the same standards by his father.
He’d known all of this before he’d agreed to take his brother’s place as their father’s heir.
He’d known it would be hard and complicated, but he’d wanted it, and he still did.
Nico knew he could do it. He could be a good alpha.
He was still learning, but he was sure he could make his father proud one day.
He didn’t think that being with Mackenzie would change that.
There was more than enough time for Mackenzie to settle down in the forest and his new life, and for people to get used to seeing him around.
He didn’t have to become the alpha mate right away, just like Nico didn’t have to become the alpha right away.
Nico’s stomach growled, and he groaned. How could he feel queasy and hungry at the same time?
He wasn’t even sure he could eat anything without throwing up.
He wanted to try, but not right before he was supposed to see Mackenzie.
He didn’t want Mackenzie to worry or to ruin their day together.
There was nothing to worry about. Nico was just stressed.
He needed something to change. There was nothing he could do about Silas or his job learning how to be an alpha, which meant that the only area in which he could eliminate stress was Mackenzie and their relationship.
Nico hadn’t been honest with his father, and maybe it was time for him to be.
He’d have to sit down with his father and tell him about Mackenzie, tell him that they were serious and that he wanted Mackenzie in his life long-term.
Once he did that, he’d have to deal with the consequences, but he knew he could.
He was strong, even stronger with Mackenzie by his side, and hopefully, not having to hide anymore would help him be more relaxed, which in turn would make him stop feeling bad all the time.
But not today. Today, he had a date with Mackenzie, and he couldn’t wait, even though he also dreaded it a little. He’d have to tell Mackenzie what he was planning on doing, but that was okay. Mackenzie might not be eager to have to start dealing with Nico’s father, but he’d do it.
For Nico.
Together, they could work things out. They could be as happy as Chris was with Jacob. Things hadn’t been easy for them initially, either, but now, every time Nico saw his brother, Chris had a smile on his lips. Nico wanted that for himself, too, and even more so, he wanted it for Mackenzie.
* * * *
MACKENZIE COULD SEE that something was wrong with Nico as soon as he walked in through the front door. Nico was pale and a little shaky, and he went green around the edges at the smell of dinner cooking.
“I should probably go home,” he said, glancing back at the front door.
Mackenzie had been about to usher him into the kitchen, but instead, he decided to take Nico to the living room.
He was pretty sure that dinner wouldn’t involve any of the food he’d cooked, anyway—or any food considering Nico’s state.
“You don’t look too well,” he said as he guided his boyfriend toward the couch.
“It’s just stress.”
“Stress doesn’t cause you to look like you’re going to throw up if you even think about eating.”
“No, but it can give you a stomach bug, right?”
“I’m not a doctor, but I can call one if you want.”
“I’m fine. “
Mackenzie left Nico on the couch and went to grab a bottle of water from the kitchen. He turned off the stove under the food, then made sure to close the kitchen door so that the smell would stay contained, even though he suspected it was too late.
He half expected Nico to be ready to leave when he got back, but instead, Nico had curled up on the couch and was hugging a pillow to his stomach. He smiled when he heard Mackenzie, and Mackenzie was once again shocked by how pale his boyfriend was. There was definitely something wrong.
“What are you feeling?” he asked.
Nico looked amused. “You just said you weren’t a doctor.”
“I’m not, but maybe there’s something I can do to help. I really don’t think this is just stress.”
“I’m sure it’ll be fine.”
“I’m not saying it won’t be, but I’d like to help.”
“I’ve just been nauseous, mostly. I haven’t thrown up, so you don’t have to worry about that.”
“You know I’m going to worry anyway.”
“Yeah, but you don’t have to. I’ll feel better soon.”
He sat up and grabbed the bottle of water Mackenzie was handing him. “It’s just a lot, you know? There’s Silas, and working with my father, and I don’t like hiding our relationship.”
Mackenzie sat on the coffee table in front of his boyfriend.
He didn’t want to rush Nico into anything, but he had thoughts.
“Maybe it’s time to stop that. I know you’re wary of telling your father, but as long as you don’t think he’d react too badly, I think we should. What’s the worst that can happen?”
Nico snorted. “I don’t know. My father could change his mind about me being his heir. He could kick me out of the house.”
“Do you really think he’d do either of those things?”
Nico sighed. “No, he wouldn’t. He’s not that kind of person, or that kind of father. He could be disappointed, though.”
“Then maybe that’s something you’ll have to deal with.
I’m sure you’ve disappointed your father in the past and that you’ll disappoint him in the future.
I know I did with my dad. No one’s perfect, Nico.
I don’t know your father, but from what you’ve said about him, it’s clear that he loves you.
He might not show it all the time, but I really think he does.
I think you should give him a chance to show you that.
And if he is disappointed, we’ll deal with it together, all right?
But I don’t see why he should be disappointed just because you’ve decided to date a human. ”
“It’s more that I decided to date at all. My brother met his boyfriend, and he suddenly didn’t want to be the next alpha anymore.”
“Have you changed your mind about that?”
“No. It’s hard, and I’m terrified, but I still think I could do a good job eventually.”
“Then I don’t see what the problem is. I’m not going to force you to talk to your father, but if it’s making you sick, maybe you should.”
Nico took a sip of water and bit his lower lip.
He was looking away from Mackenzie, and while he seemed to be a bit better, Mackenzie was still worried.
He’d be surprised if stress could make Nico feel so bad, and as far as he knew, stomach bugs usually spread like wildfire.
The only other person he knew who’d been throwing up recently was his brother, but that was because Dean was pregnant.
Mackenzie blinked. Nico was a carrier. There was a possibility that he was pregnant.
There shouldn’t be because they’d used protection, but condoms failed sometimes.
There was no way this happened to them, right?
Mackenzie hesitated, but the chances weren’t zero, so he decided to ask. “Do you think you could be pregnant?”
From Nico’s expression, Mackenzie could tell he’d thought about it. He hadn’t mentioned it, but it had to have crossed his mind.
“We used protection,” Nico said.
“And it’s not infallible.”
“I really don’t think it’s that.”
“You can’t know for sure unless you take a test.”
“I think I’m afraid to take a test. We did what we had to. I can’t be pregnant.”
“But if you are, wouldn’t you rather know? Aren’t you going to obsess over it until you know for sure?”
Nico sighed again. He looked tired, and Mackenzie wanted nothing more than to bundle him up and protect him from the world.
He wished Nico would allow him to do that, but he wouldn’t even know where to start.
He couldn’t protect Nico from becoming an alpha.
He couldn’t even protect Nico from Silas if the man attacked him. He was human.
“Fine,” Nico said. “I’ll buy a test and do it as soon as I can.”
“I actually have a few here.”
Nico blinked. “Why would you have a pregnancy test in your house?”
Mackenzie was slightly embarrassed. “When Dean found out he was pregnant, and before I knew that I didn’t have the genes it takes, I freaked out about the possibility.
I bought a few pregnancy tests, just in case, then felt like an idiot when it turned out that there’s no way I can get pregnant.
Come on. Let’s go upstairs and do this.”
Nico looked like he wanted to refuse, but he got to his feet and took Mackenzie’s hand when Mackenzie offered it to him. His hand was cold, and Mackenzie squeezed it, wishing there was more he could do.