Chapter Eighteen Ford
I’d waited for this day for months.
When I first heard that the previous director of residency was going to retire, I immediately saw an opportunity for myself.
It wasn’t because I particularly liked the idea of shifting to more administrative work.
I’d always liked taking care of patients, and the new role would limit my ability to do that significantly.
It was all about the title, the prestige of it. The money was nice too, but my ambition was never focused as much on monetary gain as it was on feeling like I’d made something of myself.
There was probably some deep-rooted psychological reason for that, but I didn’t need to analyze my motives to know that they’d changed.
I walked into the hospital early in the morning, looking around the place with fresh eyes as I tried to imagine how my days would be different if I nailed the interview with the board today and got the job.
It would certainly be different.
When I reached my office, the door was ajar. I usually locked it, but it was possible that I had forgotten. I was miserable as hell before I went to the island, regretting what I did to Zoey so much that it was all I could think about.
I never left sensitive patient information out, using the locked filing cabinet for any charts I pulled, so I wasn’t especially concerned as I pushed the door further open and stepped inside.
Then, I stopped in my tracks as I saw that Delilah was waiting for me.
She was fidgeting with the knickknacks on the bookshelf behind my desk, as if she had a right to be here. I cleared my throat, and she whirled around, not even looking guilty for invading my space like this.
“There you are!” She came around my desk and toward me with a strange mix of excitement and annoyance on her face. “I knew you’d be back today, so I came in first thing to talk to you.”
I heaved a sigh. I knew that I needed to deal with Delilah, but it wasn’t what I wanted to do first thing in the morning. Still, it was probably best to get it over with since she was already here.
“Sit down, Delilah,” I said, gesturing to the chair in front of my desk.
She pouted. “That’s it? You’ve been ignoring me for days while you were off on some island, and all you have to say is ‘sit down’?”
I frowned. “What did you expect?”
“An apology, to start with. I sent you a sexy picture, and your response was so rude.”
She sniffled like she was about to cry, but her eyes were suspiciously dry.
I moved behind my desk, wanting it between us so she couldn’t get handsy the way that she usually did.
“I wasn’t rude. I just told you not to send me any more nude pictures that I never asked for.”
She came to the front of my desk, leaning forward with a pout on her lips. It was probably supposed to be appealing, but it landed flat with me.
“Don’t be like that. I was just trying to show you that I missed you while you were gone.”
“I don’t know why you’d miss me. It’s not like we spend any significant time together.”
“I visit the hospital all the time.”
I shook my head. “That’s not us spending time together. That’s you hanging all over me and slowing me down while I’m trying to work.”
She scoffed as she straightened and crossed her arms over her chest. “Unbelievable. We’ve been dancing around this for so long, flirting all the time, and now you’re just going to act like you don’t want me? I know that you regret breaking up with me.”
Wow. She was confident, I’d give her that.
“I haven’t been flirting with you. But I’ll admit that I haven’t stopped you from coming on to me, and I should have.”
She bristled. “I was just responding to your energy.”
“We both know that’s not true. I haven’t sought you out once since the engagement ended. Haven’t called or texted you. I don’t touch you, and I don’t talk about my personal life with you. Believe me when I say that I don’t want to be with you.”
I tried to be firm without coming across as hateful. I didn’t want to hurt her because Zoey was right when she said that Delilah wasn’t really to blame for all this. She was bold and a little naive, but she didn’t deserve cruelty.
Zoey was also right about me sacrificing my integrity for ambition. I didn’t encourage Delilah, but I was willing to let her think whatever she wanted about my feelings for her if it worked to my advantage in the end. That wasn’t fair to anyone.
“I’m sorry that I led you on,” I said, meaning it. I didn’t think about her feelings in all of this.
But my guilt over that disappeared as she rushed around my desk and threw herself into my lap. Her arms locked around my neck before I even knew what was happening, and she brought her face in close to mine, lips puckered.
I turned my head at the last second and her lips landed on my cheek instead of my mouth, but that didn’t make it okay. Grabbing her arms, I pried them off my neck and stood, leaving her no choice but to get to her own feet or tumble to the floor.
I held onto her arms just long enough to make sure her legs were steady, and then I released her and backed away.
“Damn it, Delilah,” I snapped. “I told you that I’m not interested in you!”
“But I’ve never stopped loving you! I thought you ended the engagement because you freaked out about the commitment. I thought that if I hung around long enough, you’d realize…”
Her voice broke, and this time, there were tears in her eyes. But my sympathy had evaporated when she tried to force a kiss on me.
“I’m not afraid of commitment at all,” I said, thinking of how much I wanted to see Zoey walking toward me in a white dress. “But you’re not the woman I want to commit to, and you never will be.”
Delilah flinched, but I wouldn’t take the words back or even soften them. I tried to gently set a boundary, and she wouldn’t accept that. So, blunt honesty was the only way to go.
I glanced at the clock on the wall and saw that more time had passed since I arrived than I realized.
“You need to go,” I said. “I have some things to do before my meeting with the board.”
Delilah started to reach out for me, and I wasn’t sure what she wanted to accomplish, but I took a step back. Her fist closed and she lowered it to her side.
“I meant it, you know. I’ve always loved you.”
“You might think that, but I promise that there’s someone better for you out there. You and I just aren’t right for each other. We never were.”
Her mouth turned down and she swallowed hard. I thought she was fighting the urge to cry, but her eyes suddenly hardened. Her voice was cold and sharp when she spoke again.
“I know why you’re meeting with the board today. I know you want that director of residency job.”
I wasn’t expecting her to turn vicious, but I probably should have. When we were together, she always buried hurt feelings and lashed out.
“What’s your point?” I asked, but I already knew.
“If I walk out of here right now, I’m going straight to his office. What do you think will happen when he sees how much you’ve upset me?”
It was the last weapon in her arsenal, but it wasn’t going to work.
“If Dr. Hirschi lets personal matters get in the way of making business decisions, there’s really not much I can do about that. I would hope he’d have more integrity than that.”
Letting out a frustrated sound in the back of her throat, she marched to the door and pulled it open. “Good luck in your meeting,” she sneered.
I grinned. “I won’t need it.”
She left, slamming the door behind her, and I felt nothing but relief.