17. Knox
C andy-pink bows and plastic dinosaurs are sprinkled over a three-tier birthday cake.
Winnie has gone all out for Hazel’s third birthday party—she’s gone all out for all her birthdays really.
There is a station in the yard specifically designated for princess gowns that Hazel and the other guests can dress up in.
My baby brother, Rhett, and his best friend, Colt, have graciously offered to take up post there—complete with their own princess crowns.
The dinosaur bounce house was not approved by me, but I couldn’t be upset when I saw my daughter’s face light up at the sight of it.
Three years old. I’m having a hard time figuring out where time has gone.
Months of my tiny baby needing help adjusting to a life without her mother, weeks of no sleep, and the endless diapers and bottles that felt like they would never end have somehow gone by in the blink of an eye.
Now she’s this perfect little person. Walking—running—around in the yard with other little kids.
It makes me wonder how fast the next few years will go by.
Looking out across the yard, I see my whole family scattered and enjoying the party.
Ivy and Florence made sure the whole property was decorated, and Winnie and my mom handled all the food.
To no one’s surprise, Alder is responsible for the bounce house.
He and Ivy are making sure no one is injured, which is the only reason I let it stay up.
I grin seeing my father twirl my mother in a circle while they dance to the music playing over the outdoor speakers.
Scanning the party again, I see Indie walking down the road that connects our houses.
She’s carrying a big, green box with a frilly pink bow tied around it, perfect for the theme.
Hazel invited her the night after our hike, followed by a pretty please.
She had looked up at me to confirm it was okay to say yes before telling Hazel she could come.
I had appreciated it and at the same time wished I had thought to ask her first, so she would know she was welcome.
That thought had caught me off guard. I’m not exactly the first person someone would think of when thinking welcoming.
“Indie!”
“Hi, Hazel!” I watch Hazel’s green princess dress swish behind her as she runs to meet Indie at the edge of the yard. Setting the present on the ground beside her, she bends down to greet my daughter.
“Happy Birthday, Hazel Emilia Holloway.”
“Thank you. Is that mine?” she asks Indie. Practically vibrating with anticipation.
“It is! I couldn’t come empty-handed.” Hazel grabs her hand and tugs her toward the party. Indie picks up the present, letting herself be pulled.
“Hey, Indie!” Rhett calls from his position at the dress-up station.
“Hi, Rhett. I love your crown. ”
“Thank you,” he says, then curtsies, causing her to giggle. In all the years since middle school, I don’t remember ever wanting to be the reason a girl giggled. Until now.
“Hey, Knox. Thanks for the invite,” she tells me while Hazel drags her past me over to the present table. I nod at her and take a sip of my beer.
“It goes here,” Hazel tells Indie, pointing at the table.
“Oh my goodness. This is the coolest party I’ve ever been to.”
“It’s my birthday!” Hazel shouts.
Indie laughs with her. “It’s your birthday!” she shouts back.
“Will you jump with me?” The face she gives Indie is one I’ve been met with many times. It’s nearly impossible to say no to, I’d say even harder when you aren’t used to it.
“Hey, Hazey. Why don’t you give Indie a minute to say hi to everyone? I’ll send her in to play with you soon.”
“Okay!” she agrees easily, smiling as she runs into Alder’s arms so he can jump into the bounce house with her.
Indiana places her present with the others and turns to face me. “Hi.”
“Hi. I’m glad you came,” I tell her honestly, moving closer to her.
“I wanted to. There’s no way I could say no to an invitation from the birthday girl.” She looks to Hazel then back at me. We just stare at one another for a few seconds.
“Hey, Indie!” We turn to see Winnie and my mom coming out of my house, holding platters of toppings for the burgers and hot dogs my dad is grilling.
He waves at us, wearing his new apron proudly.
This one reads “It’s All Fun And Games Until Someone Burns Their Weiner.
” It’s pretty tame for him, probably because this is a children's birthday party.
What started as a prank apron has turned into a full-on collection at this point.
“Hi! I feel like I haven’t seen you in days,” Indie tells Winnie.
“I know! I was getting used to seeing you every day.” Winnie sighs. “I’ll see you tomorrow, though, right?”
“Absolutely! Reporting for duty.” Indie gives her a little salute. It’s awkward and adorable.
“What’s going on?” I ask.
“The Spring Festival. I’m helping Winnie prep all the items for Thistle and Sage’s booth. I’m making all the new signage.”
“Wait! You made all the new branding?!” Florence has appeared seemingly out of nowhere with three presents in her arms. Indie moves to help her with them, guiding her to the table to set them down.
“I did. Winnie hired me on as a part-time manager but also for some branding and web design,” she tells my sister.
“Yeah? How would you feel about helping me with some branding for the hotel?”
“Really? I would be more than happy to. I already have so many ideas.”
“Are you trying to poach my employee?” Winnie asks.
“Not poach—share?” Lo suggests.
They grin at each other. “Deal,” Winnie agrees.
“Do I have a say in this?” Indie chimes in.
Both girls look at her. “No,” they say in unison. Indie just laughs.
“Did I show you the pictures she took for the website?” Winnie asks, practically buzzing with excitement.
“No, do you have them with you?” Lo asks .
“I would like to see them, too, if you don’t mind. I was thinking of updating The Edgemont’s site as well,” Ivy chimes in. Since moving to town last winter, she joined Alder in running the ski resort up on the mountain during the winter and turned it into a mountain bike destination in the summers.
“I have them all on my laptop back at the house. Do you…would you guys want to come by after the party and see?” she asks hesitantly. They all give her a resounding yes.
“Count me in too!” another voice yells from the other side of the yard. Marigold walks over to the group, still in her hospital scrubs.
“Hi, big brother. Sorry I’m late. I had to deal with a small mishap at work,” Lo says, giving me a hug and kiss on the cheek.
“Everything okay?” I ask, it’s not like her to complain about anything.
“Fine. Just a guy on the phone today. He made a big stink about talking to me on the phone and then called me a—” she cuts herself off, looking around to the kids then whispers, “bitch, when I couldn’t get him a room.
We’re booked, it’s a busy season,” she finishes, reaching for a glass of pink lemonade from the table behind me.
“He what?”
“I know! Such a jerk.”
“I hate that you have to deal with rude assholes.”
“Them’s the breaks,” she says breezily. “I’m fine. Shaking it off to celebrate now!” she tells me, walking back over to the women gathering.
I leave them to their conversation and walk over to the bounce house to spend some time playing with Hazel.
“Are you having a good birthday, dragonfly?”
“The best!” she yells, jumping and falling over.
She’s having a hard time staying up, so I bend to help her stand.
“Thank you, Daddy,” she says.
“You’re welcome.”
It’s not long before we’re joined by Indie. She pops her head into the opening in the net.
“Can I join?” she asks us.
“Yes!” Hazel screams, then giggles like she’s never had sugar before in her life. Indie jumps in with us, twirling around as she does, her hair fanning out with each motion.
“Can you do this?” Hazel asks her, then proceeds to do her version of a somersault.
“I don’t know, that was pretty good. I’ll try if your dad does,” she answers, then looks my way.
“Okay! Do it, Daddy! Do it, Daddy!” Hazel chants.
I narrow my eyes on Indiana. Her front two teeth are sinking into her plump bottom lip to hide her smile, eyes glittering when she opens her mouth and pushes me further to the edge. “Yeah, let’s see it, Daddy. ”
I almost choke on my tongue. Daddy? Thinking of her calling me that in a more private setting has my heart rate picking up.
Reining in my racing thoughts, I hold up my hands. “Alright, alright,” I tell them, holding my arms over my head. “Are you ready for this?” I ask them.
“We were born ready,” Indie says, and Hazel says, “Yeah!” I somersault as gracefully as I can, making a show to stand up again to take a bow. Both girls jump around clapping.
“That was so good, Daddy!” Hazel cheers for me .
“Truly. I can only think of two somersaults in all my life that rival that one,” Indie mutters.
“Two? Better than that? Whose?” I ask. My tone playful but demanding. She’s jumping toward me and laughing with me. Grabbing my arm for support to steady herself, my skin heating at the feel of her hands on me.
“Well, Hazel’s obviously,” she says, waving a hand toward her.
“And the other?” I question, feeling light and carefree.
“You’re about to witness it,” she tells me before lunging forward to a handstand, tucking and rolling out of it.
She stands with a flourish, giving Hazel a wink.
We’re both a little starstruck by her. Hazel claps loudly, jumping over to her, hugging her legs.
Indie bends to lift her up, bouncing in a circle with her.
At the sight of her holding Hazel, their laughter contagious, I don’t even try to fight the smile spreading across my face.
Someone rings the dinner bell, followed by my dad telling us that the food is ready.
I help the girls out of the bounce house before making mine and Hazel's plates.
We all settle into the picnic tables I set out earlier.
As we eat, my eyes wander back to Indie.
She looks beautiful in her jean shorts. Her white shirt is loose, and it looks soft like her tanned skin.
She starts laughing at something Florence says; the sound is melodic.
It scratches an itch I didn’t know I needed scratching, and I’m jealous—I want it to be me who makes her laugh.
I seem to be wanting a lot the past few weeks.
I haven’t wanted anything for myself in years. But Indie has me wanting.
After our lunch, we sing Happy Birthday while Hazel blows out her candles, getting all three of them in one go.
Everyone erupts into cheers for her; Alder, Colt, and Rhett let out whistles.
She smiles bashfully—so delicately sweet.
I’m always grateful for my family, but times like these make me just a little more so.
Each one of them takes their turn kissing my daughter's adorable cheeks before we dig into the giant cake Winnie made.
“Hey, Knox. We need more ice. Will you grab some from your freezer?” my mom asks.
“I can get it!” Indie says, already walking to the door.
I scan the party, seeing Hazel being entertained by Colt and Rhett before making my way in after her. She may need help. I tell myself. Walking in the side door, I see her bent over looking for a bowl in my kitchen. I clear my throat, and she straightens, gasping and holding a hand over her chest.
“You scared me.” She laughs.
“I can see that,” I say, gripping her upper arms, moving to her side to open the next drawer over, and removing a large metal bowl.
“I would have found it eventually,” she says, looking up at me.
“I have no doubt.”
We’re standing close now. Just a breath between us. I briefly wonder if I lean down right now, if she’ll let me kiss her. She’s looking at me like she might. My hand reaches out, letting the back of my fingers skim down her bare arm.
“Indie—” I start.
“Hey! Can we get a rush order on the ice, brother?” Alder yells from the side door. We jump apart, even though there’s no reason to.
I sigh. Perfect timing. “Yeah, I’ll be out in a second,” I call back to him before filling the bowl with ice from the freezer. I shut the door, finding Indie staring at me intently and smiling softly.
“Um, can I use your restroom?” she asks.
“Just down the hall on the right,” I say, grinning back at her.
“Thanks, I’ll be right out.” Again, the urge to tease her, to flirt with her, is too strong to deny.
“If you’re not, I may have to come back in to find you.” Her eyes widen, glowing as she backs herself toward the hall.
“That doesn’t sound so bad,” she says quietly before turning and disappearing through the bathroom door. I’m left feeling lightheaded; all the blood in my body rushing other places.
An hour later, the party is winding down. I had planned on Hazel opening her presents, but she’s slumping against me, and I just heard her yawn.
“Are you tired, Hazey?”
“Mm-hmm…” she hums, nuzzling deeper into my chest.
“We’ll get things picked up out here, Knox. Go ahead and lay her down if you want,” my mom tells me, picking up some trash and closing the lids on the food containers.
“Thank you. For everything, Mom.” I kiss her cheek before turning Hazel to face the rest of the crew. “Birthday Girl is headed to lie down for a while. Thank you all for coming.”
“Thank you for coming,” Hazel tries to yell, but it’s sleepy. The yard is full of smiles as the sun sets. We hear a chorus of happy birthdays while we walk into the house.
Inside, I wipe Hazel’s face and help her change into her birthday pajamas. Green with tiny dinosaurs on them. She looks at me with sleepy eyes so full of love it makes my heart feel too big for my chest .
“I love you, babygirl. More than sunshine, air, and the moon.”
“I love you, Daddy. More than dinosaurs,” she tells me softly.
“That’s so much? How lucky am I?”
“Really lucky,” she says quietly, settling into her bed. I’m not sure how, but I did manage to get extremely lucky to call this little girl mine.
“Happy Birthday, dragonfly. Sweet dreams.”