40. Knox
I ndie is humming softly from the bathtub while Hazel is coloring in the doorway, after insisting it was fine for her to be there, and asking her questions.
I’m sitting in the corner of the room looking through postcards.
After my birthday two weeks ago, I wasn’t sure if she would want me to read them, but she doesn’t want any secrets between us.
Some of her words make me laugh, and some of them make me want to scream.
I look at the woman in my bathtub. She’s so lovely, just looking at her, how she treats the people around her, you wouldn’t think she’d been through something so horrific. I love that part of her—every part of her.
“Is this blue or purple?” I look over to the crayon Hazel is holding up.
“I think it’s blue,” I say.
“I was asking Indie.”
Indie coughs to hide her laugh. It doesn’t work.
“I think it’s a dark purple,” she answers thoughtfully.
“Dark purple,” Hazel repeats, then starts coloring again. I want to roll my eyes. It seems she’s less interested in my opinion these days and more concerned with Indie’s. I read another postcard.
I went on a run today.
My lungs were screaming and
I won’t be able to walk tomorrow.
But I did it. I’m trying.
I love you. I miss you.
Love, Indiana
Pride swells in my chest thinking about how far she’s come. She’s been through hell and come back even stronger.
“Okay, I think it’s time for me to get out. I’m starting to prune. Thank you for letting me use your tub. I couldn’t get the stopper on mine to work.”
“You can have or use anything of mine, Honey.” I drop a kiss to her head. “Hazel and I will go outside and wait for you.”
“I’ll be out in just a few minutes. I’m so excited to gather flowers with you today, Hazey.”
“Me too!”
I help Hazel carry all her art supplies to the kitchen and set them up at the table for her.
“Remember what we talked about?”
“Yes.”
“Remember not to tell Indie until later, right?”
“Yes. It’s a surprise!”
“That’s my girl.” I kiss her head as Indie walks into the room, stealing my breath in just her cotton T-shirt and shorts .
“I’m just going to grab our basket and book, and we can head out, Hazey.”
“Okay, Indie.” She hops out of her chair and over to the door where her blue rubber boots are.
“Are you going to be joining us, Daddy ?” She does this every so often. Calls me Daddy in a way that’s just suggestive enough to make me want to hear her say it in other situations.
“I think I’ll leave it to you girls today if that’s alright. I have a couple of things I need to get done around here.”
“Of course. We’ll be fine, won’t we, dragonfly?” Her use of Hazel’s nickname hits me in the chest. I know she misses her sister, and she always will, but if Hazel and I can be here for her—can help mend that sadness with our love, then that’s what we’ll do.
“Yes!” Hazel yells, grabbing Indie’s hand and walking out the door with her.
Once they leave, I book it down the hall and open the closet.
I grab the drawings that Hazey colored, and the banner we worked on.
Winnie made me a dozen chocolate croissants, and then we have the big surprise for the living room wall that I’ve been working on since our first hike without even realizing.
When Indie gets back from her dinner with Florence tonight, Hazel and I are asking her to move in with us.
For the next few hours, I watch the girls walk around the lake, picking flowers while I stash all the please-move-in-with-us supplies under the counters in the kitchen. My phone vibrates with a message from the group chat.
Alder
Family dinner next week. Doing one of those sweet reveals with pink or blue smoke. I’m thinking of jumping out of the helicopter with a special parachute, yeah?
Ivy
You’re not doing that, Action Hero.
Winnie
OMG can I make a cake?!
Winnie
Wait. Then I would know. Can I know?!
Rhett
If Winnie gets to know, I get to know.
Baby Lo
Finally! I can start shopping for my new baby niece or nephew!
Me
Alder
No one gets to know yet.
Winnie
Smiling, I set my phone down and see Indie and Hazel walking back toward the house. The clock says two fifteen, and she’s working at the bakery with Winnie before dinner. Making sure to keep all the decorations hidden, I stand in front of the counter doing my best to look nonchalant.
“Hi, Daddy! Look!” Hazel yells excitedly, running into the house, holding a book.
“What do you have there?” I ask, picking her up and setting her on my lap.
“Indie’s book!” she says, opening the book to flowers pressed between pages.
“We’ll add some of our descriptions about them later when I get back,” Indie tells her.
She comes to stand next to me, wrapping an arm around my shoulder.
She kisses my temple softly and runs a hand through Hazel’s hair.
“I have to go to work. Let me know if I can come by later. It shouldn’t be too late I don’t think. ”
“Yes.” Hazel and I say at the same time.
Indie giggles. “Well then, I’ll be back. I love you.”
“I love you!” Hazel tells her, still flipping through the book on her lap. Indie’s smile splits her face in two before leaning down to kiss her head.
“I love you,” I tell her, pulling her to me for a quick kiss on the lips.
“Okay, I have to go, or I'm gonna be late.”
“Then you better get going,” I say, but I pull her to me again, kissing her, feeling her smile into it.
“Bye, Knox. Bye, Hazey. See you later.”
She walks out the front door, and I watch her all the way to her car. Then I track her car until it disappears down the road.
“Okay, Hazey. Want to help me get this place ready?”
“Yes!” she agrees.
I start measuring the spaces on the wall while Hazel sets her drawings out. With any luck, Indiana Holmes will be sleeping here tonight and all the rest of them too.