5. Five
Five
Tessa
“ S on of a gun,” I mutter as I balance on the tips of my toes in the cereal aisle, stretched to the max and feeling slightly defeated.
My fingertips catch the corner of the box once more, and it begins to tilt.
I watch with bated breath as it rocks back and forth, just to settle right back in the exact spot I found it in when we first started this ridiculous song and dance.
I release a frustrated growl, ready to say to hell with it—because let’s be honest. No one needs a bowl of muesli that bad—when an overwhelming presence crowds my back.
A corded forearm enters my peripheral, and a sizable hand easily swipes up the desired item before depositing it into my shopping cart.
I don’t have to turn around to know who my knight in shining armor is.
The way my entire body lights up with a sudden awareness—pulse racing as the room temperature seems to climb by several degrees—gives his identity away.
Steeling myself for yet another tense interaction, I turn, surprised to find nothing but subtle amusement on his serene features.
“I see you haven’t grown an inch since middle school.
Pretty sure I remember reading an article you wrote about the challenges of being a short woman in America once.
It was quite entertaining,” he drawls in his deep baritone.
I can’t stop the small sigh that escapes me at the sight of that smile.
Those damn dimples always made me weak in the knees.
“I just don’t understand why they can’t find a system that works for everyone.
I mean, it’s not rocket science, is it? Wouldn’t it be in everyone’s best interest to keep items within reach of all customers?
I was about two seconds away from abandoning my cart, heading back home, and starting my day over with a bucketful of mimosas. ”
“Well, lucky for you I’m here now, ready to offer my services. Can’t have you going hungry, and I wouldn’t advise drinking on an empty stomach. Take it from someone who’s made that mistake a time or two.”
I thank him, grabbing a few things off the lower shelving before I resume my grocery hunt.
Jake falls into step beside me, and I take the opportunity to study the contents of his cart.
Pleased to discover that his palate seems to have evolved from microwave dinners and nauseating amounts of sweets.
His load now holds an impressive amount of fresh fruit and vegetables, as well as a wide variety of lean meats and seafood.
I snort when he deposits a family pack of Oreos on his growing pile and eyes it like he wouldn’t mind ripping the box open right then and there. Some things never change.
“My own personal shopping assistant,” I say with theatrical flair, pressing my hand to my chest when Jake once again retrieves an item that’s out of my reach and hands it over to me. “How will I ever repay you?”
Jake chuckles, a deep, sensual sound that seems to have a direct link to my core.
“You could agree to go to the fall fair with me next weekend?” I freeze mid-step and slowly angle my body toward him.
Narrowing my eyes with suspicion, I try not to hyperventilate as my heart threatens to punch a hole through my chest. Am I hallucinating?
Did I, in fact, abandon this grocery mission in favor of chugging copious amounts of mimosas, and am now basking in some alcohol-induced dream where Jake Nelson is asking me out on a date?
Someone pinch me because this can’t be real.
“You want me to go to the fall fair? With you?” I ask, needing clarification while I prepare for the part where he laughs in my face and tells me I’m hearing things.
But the expected ridicule never comes. Jake blows out a sigh at my wary expression and takes his sweet time considering every possible choice the potato chip aisle has to offer, while I focus on my breathing and try not to sweat through my shirt.
When he finally selects a winner and faces me again, I’m hanging on by a thread.
“Look,” he says, grazing his teeth over his lush bottom lip while he considers his next words.
“I know I’ve been kind of a dick since you arrived, and I’d like to apologize.
You have a lot going on, with your mom being sick, and I haven’t been fair to you.
I’ve done a lot of reflecting these past few days and I’ve come to the conclusion that I need to let go of what happened between us if I ever truly want to move on with my life.
Figured it might be nice to do something as a group.
Relive the glory days when things weren’t this—” he waves a hand at the space between us.
“Complicated. Megan and Carter have a babysitter lined up for Saturday night, and I thought you could probably do with a bit of fun yourself. So, what do you say? Wanna get the old gang back together and cause some trouble?”
I can’t believe what I’m hearing. Not only does it sound like Jake is finally ready to forgive me, but he actually wants to spend time with me. I’m so thrilled I can hardly contain my excitement. Then I’m struck by a sobering thought .
“What about Alicia? Won’t she have a problem with you getting into trouble with your ex?
Don’t get me wrong, I’d love to go to the fair with you guys, but I refuse to be that girl.
” He stares me down for a prolonged moment before he seems to come to a decision.
“Alicia and I broke up,” he tells me, and the organ in my chest gives a single hard thump.
“What? Why? It’s not because of me, is it?”
Jake huffs out a laugh. “So humble,” he mutters before he resumes walking up the aisle.
“No, it’s not because of you. I just realized I’ll never be able to give her everything she deserves.
” He throws a quick glance over his shoulder to make sure I’m following.
Like, I’m going to miss a single word. I’m practically foaming at the mouth as I hurry to keep up.
“When Bobby made that comment about my dad, and Alicia looked at me like she was trying to figure out my complicated relationship with him,” he breaks off, shaking his head with what looks like regret.
“I realized I have no desire to open up to her. I was right not to get serious about anyone all these years. Any woman worth her salt deserves better than an emotional cripple who’s always going to keep her at arm’s length.
It wouldn’t have been fair to keep stringing her along when I know I’m incapable of loving her the way a good partner should.
” He shrugs, like the end of the first relationship he’s allowed himself to have in almost a decade isn’t a big deal.
Logically, I know what he’s saying makes sense.
He was confronted with his past in the presence of the person he was building a future with and realized his feelings for her didn’t run deep enough for him to want to share the intimate details of his life.
The obvious solution was to let her go. That’s just the kind of man Jake is.
He could be a callous bastard when the situation called for it, but his heart has always been in the right place.
Once he realized he wasn’t being fair to Alicia, calling it quits simply became the only rational choice. I believe him when he says his decision had nothing to do with me. But my stupid little traitor of a heart is tap-dancing so hard, it’s giving Fred Astaire a run for his money.
“I’m sorry it didn’t work out for you two. Alicia seemed really nice.”
Jake’s knowing smirk makes me squirm. “Cut the crap, Tessa. You’re over the moon about this.” His matter-of-fact delivery takes me aback.
Have I been that obvious?
“Awfully sure of yourself, aren’t ya? Why on earth would I be happy about the end of your relationship?” I ask, doing my best to look cool and unaffected.
The corner of his mouth kicks up. “Let’s shelf this conversation for now. I have a feeling neither of us are ready for it. ”
My shoulders drop from around my ears, relieved and eternally grateful to him for letting me off the hook.
I might talk a big game, but the truth is, my conflicting feelings for him scare me more than I’d like to admit.
I’m not sure I have the emotional capability to make smart choices right now, and the last thing I want is to lead Jake on.
I’ve done enough damage to this man to last a lifetime.
“So, are you coming to the fair or not?”
“I’d love to,” I tell him truthfully. “You’re right. I could use a bit of fun, and getting the old gang back together pretty much ensures that. I need a break from reality, you know?”
“How is your mom? She hanging in there?” he asks, azure irises shimmering with sympathy.
I shrug, scrubbing a hand across my forehead before answering.
“She’s as good as can be expected. I shouldn’t complain.
The doctors have given us nothing but hope.
They think her chances of beating this thing are very high.
It’s just hard watching her struggle. She’s so weak after her chemo treatments, and the nausea is awful.
I just feel so useless, you know? I wish there was more I could do. ”
“You’re doing what you can. The second you heard the news, you dropped everything to be there for her.
You rushed home, facing your demons and putting your own life on hold to support her.
There’s not much more you can do. I know what it’s like to watch someone close to you go through this.
How helpless it makes you feel. But the odds are in her favor, and your love and support is really all you can offer her right now. ”
I dig my teeth into my bottom lip to keep it from trembling.
“Ah, fuck me,” Jake mutters, a hint of panic in his voice. “You’re not going to cry, are you? Please tell me if you’re about to have a public breakdown so I can put some distance between us. I have a reputation to uphold.”
I bark out a watery laugh and deliver a sharp backhand to his chest. “You’re such an ass sometimes.
And what reputation would that be?” I ask, dabbing at the corners of my eye.
“Are you afraid someone might witness the great Jake Nelson share a genuine moment with a woman and discover you’re a softie at heart?
Or are you scared the gossips will read more into this and spread the word about you breaking my heart again? ”
“More like the other way around,” he mumbles as he runs a hand through his hair, relieved a full-blown meltdown seems to have been avoided for the moment.
“It’s cute you think the rumor mill hasn’t started buzzing the second you crossed town limits.
What do you think they’ve been discussing at Mable’s book club each week?
I swear those old biddies have a betting pool going.
” Jake’s eyes twinkle with amusement. “Nah, let them speculate. It’s their only form of entertainment, and who am I to rob them of that?
But I can’t run a successful business if people think I’m a pushover.
If only one person saw me getting weak over a few tears, it won’t be long before every housewife in Bandera County turns on the waterworks, hoping to knock a few bucks off the final bill.
You wouldn’t believe the shit I have to put up with.
People can be very inventive when it’s time to pay up. ”
“Alright, alright. Far be it from me to mess with your cut-throat image.”
Jake treats me to a grin that does funny things to my insides and jerks his chin toward the cash register, letting me know he’s ready to check out.
“So, I’ll see you on the fairgrounds Saturday?
We’re meeting up sometime in the afternoon.
The plan is to head on over to the saloon after the fireworks.
Join us anytime. Here’s my number.” He hands me his business card and I turn it over, impressed by the polished look, before I tuck it into my purse.
“Call me when you get there, and I’ll let you know where we’re at. ”
“Sounds like a plan. Thanks for the invite. I can’t tell you how much I’m looking forward to it.”
Jake stares at me for what feels like forever, a soft smile hovering over his lips. “You know, I never thought I’d say this again, but so am I.”