20. Twenty #2
“I’m assuming it’s safe to let my eyes wander freely? No other naughty librarians hiding around the house, waiting to be ravaged by the burly construction worker? Seriously, though. Could you be any more of a cliché? And grab a freaking shower next time. What are you? An animal?”
I give my brother an irritated glare that most likely doesn’t have the desired effect, given the smile wanting to take over.
As much as the timing of his surprise visit sucks, I can’t help the joy of having him home.
I fucking miss that kid and the nonsense he spews.
It’s a miracle he turned out the way he did considering our upbringing, and he’s always been a breath of fresh air around here.
That he has a smart mouth and the ability to walk through life, never taking anything too seriously, is living proof that my sacrifices haven’t been in vain.
“Shut the hell up and come give me a hug. ”
Jude closes the distance but stops midway, eyeing my crotch with a knitted brow.
“You better not poke me with that thing. I got mad love for you, bro, but we have to draw the line somewhere.” Shaking my head at his antics, I cup the back of his neck and bring him in, squeezing him tight and getting the obligatory round of manly backslapping out of the way so I can look him over.
“What in the world are you doing here? You in some kind of trouble? Do you need money? You didn’t lose your scholarship, did you? Christ, Jude. What did you do?”
My brother grins widely and sits at the breakfast bar, peering at the casserole dish like he hasn’t had a home-cooked meal in months. That is likely true, given his living situation.
“Can a man not come home for a visit, simply because he misses his siblings?”
“Okay, now I know something’s up,” I say, striding around the island to study his expression.
Resting my hands on the marble counter, I tilt my head and give him a look filled with suspicion.
“You forget that I raised you, and the Jude I know wouldn’t give up the chance to party and get laid, because he misses this face.
As handsome and compelling as it may be. ”
“What if I came to see Anna?”
“Then you’ll have to wait until tomorrow, since she’s staying at a friend’s house tonight to study for a test.” My brother gives me an unconcerned shrug that confirms his impromptu visit has little to do with him wanting to see his family.
“Let’s cut the crap, Jude. Not that I’m not ecstatic you’re here.
Even though I really wish you could’ve timed your arrival better.
Don’t you have a game this weekend, Mr. Big Shot? ”
“I’ll be back with plenty of time to spare. My flight leaves late Thursday night. Honestly, I just needed a change of scenery.”
“You fucked some clingy chick, and now she’s stalking your ass, trying to get you to propose, while she’s picking out names for your firstborn. And you thought getting out of dodge might send the right message. Give her some time to fixate on some other poor sap. Am I right, or am I right?”
Jude stares at me, eyes wide, lips forming the perfect o, before he shakes his head and huffs angrily. “How the hell do you always do that?”
I bark out a loud laugh while I begin setting the table for three, knowing damn well my brother will scarf down half the casserole on his own. That boy could eat an entire cow and not break a sweat.
“It’s a gift,” I shrug. “So, now what? You’re going to hide out here and hope she’ll forget about you? I hate to break it to you, bro, but girls like that aren’t easy to shake. They don’t give up just because they can’t locate you for a few days. Trust me. I’ve been there.”
“Dude, way to burst my bubble. I’ll admit, the whole out-of-sight-out-of-mind idea seemed like my best option after she showed up at my dorm yesterday, dropping off baked goods for me and my roommates. But speaking of your personal experiences, Tessa is back, huh?”
“I hope you’re not gossiping about me like a nosy old lady, Jude Nelson!
” the woman in question scolds as she rejoins us, dressed in a pair of jeans that look painted on and an oversized salmon colored shirt that hangs loosely off one shoulder.
Her hair is pulled back into a simple ponytail, and her feet are bare, giving her an air of homeliness with just the right amount of sex appeal.
Jude hops off his stool and wraps my girl into a bear hug that lifts her straight off her feet.
“I would never,” he says with feigned innocence, holding Tessa at arm’s length and looking her up and down.
“Holy shit, Miss Davidson. I know we haven’t seen each other since I was a pimple-faced pre-teen but, dayaaaam.
Looks like time’s been kind to the both of us. ”
Tessa giggles, throwing me a look that suggests the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. I grunt and refocus on getting dinner on the table, running a knife through the casserole to divide it into equal pieces .
“I have to say it, though. I’m a little disappointed.”
Tessa’s brows pinch in confusion. “How so?”
“I thought you were smart to leave this redneck town in your rearview. So why the fuck are you back here?”
“It wasn’t by choice. My mom’s sick. Breast cancer.”
“Shit,” Jude’s expression is sympathetic. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”
Tessa lifts a shoulder as she pours herself a glass of white wine. “It is what it is. The prognosis is good, so I’m trying to stay positive.”
Jude gladly accepts the beer I’m holding out and wastes no time twisting the cap off.
“That’s good news. Doesn’t explain what you’re doing with this caveman, though.
Let me guess,” he says before anyone can get a word in.
“You got a front-row seat to the Megan and Carter fairytale and thought to yourself, hey, why not get back together with someone who wouldn’t mind knocking me up every other year? ”
Utterly unperturbed by my muttered, “Asshole,” he continues.
“So, tell me, Tessa. Are you ready for that white picket fence, the permanent pregnant belly, and the bone-deep exhaustion that comes hand in hand with raising a pack of feral kids? Not to mention the saggy boobs and the overbearing husband expecting dinner and a blowjob every night? ”
“Jesus Christ, Jude,” I bite out, absolutely mortified by his lack of social skills. “How about you sit back down and eat? Might help keep that overzealous trap shut for a bit. You really have no filter, do you?”
Tessa produces a very unladylike snort and follows suit, pulling herself up onto a bar stool beside him. “You don’t even realize how alike you are, do you?”
I throw her an affronted look. “I was never that bad.”
Tessa gives a loud, “Ha,” and I decide to let it go when I see the sheer delight on her face. She’s having a good time, and I don’t mind taking a few blows to the old ego if it keeps her smiling like that.
Over the course of dinner, I can’t help but notice her stealing glances at Jude with an almost awestruck expression.
I tilt my head and watch him inhale his food like he’s been raised in a barn.
Barely taking the time to chew, he produces a slew of obnoxious slurping noises that make me want to rip my own ears off just to escape them.
It’s at that moment I realize I’ll most likely never understand what it is about my brother that seems to enthrall every woman of childbearing age.
“Alright,” I snap, leaning back in my seat and regarding her with a bewildered expression. “Why do you keep staring at him? ”
Tessa’s fork freezes halfway to her mouth. “Honestly? I just can’t seem to reconcile the scrawny kid I used to know with this hunkalicious piece of man meat.”
I gape at her and watch in utter horror as my brother licks his knife clean in a very suggestive manner, giving the love of my life a wink. A fucking wink.
“I mean, where did the time go? Are we really that old that your little brother has turned into fricking Hercules?”
“Oh, stop it,” Jude says, acting bashful when I know damn well he doesn’t possess a shred of modesty.
“You’re going to make me blush, and I think you’ve done enough of that for the both of us tonight.
” Tessa makes a choking noise, and Jude lightly thumps her on the back before he continues to shovel more food down his throat.
“This is delicious, by the way. May I have another scoop, Jake?”
“What’s wrong with your hands?”
My brother shrugs and piles more food onto his plate before continuing his symphony of chewing noises. That’s about the time my eye starts twitching.
“So, what happened to Double D Alicia?”
My utensils come down with a clatter. “I swear to God. If you don’t knock it off. ”
To my surprise, Tessa doesn’t seem put off at the mention of my well-endowed ex but breaks into fits of giggles instead. Jude grins her way before he swallows the last morsel of chicken, leaving us sitting in blissful silence.
“It’s fucking funny when he gets mad, isn’t it?
Give me five more minutes and the pulsing vein on his forehead is going to make an appearance.
That usually leaves me with a two-minute window to get another shot in before it’s time to run or get hurt.
Believe it or not, he’s faster than he looks, considering he’s getting old and a little pudgy around the middle. ”
The way I see it, I have two choices. Continue to sit here and let my little brother make a fool of me in front of the girl I’m trying to impress or go on the offensive and remind the little prick that I’m the one who taught him everything he knows.
“Did Jude ever tell you he screwed Wacky Aggy?” I blurt, hitting him with a self-satisfied look when his jaw goes slack. Yeah, that’s what I thought. My baby brother getting the better of me? I think the fuck not. Surprise flits over Tessa’s features before a slow smile settles on her lips.
“Oh, this oughta be good.” Jude presses a hand to his chest in a melodramatic manner and looks at me like I kicked his favorite puppy. “I can’t believe you went there. ”
“Wacky Aggy? Wasn’t she the girl who carried a pet chicken in her purse and claimed she talked to spirits?”
“First of all, how was I supposed to know she spoke with the dead? Her pet chicken had already passed onto the other side, so her purse only held a flask of whiskey and an impressive number of condoms. Older women are it…” he winks at Tessa before carrying on.
“So, when she propositioned me at a friend’s birthday party one night, I was like, hell yeah!
It wasn’t until I rejoined the party, and the entire room broke into a chorus of clucking noises that I realized my mistake.
I don’t know, man. I blame the alcohol. I’m usually a pretty good judge of character. ”
“Which is clearly why you’re gracing us with your presence this evening.
” When Tessa throws me a questioning look, I’m all too happy to explain.
“He screwed someone without laying out the terms first, tucked tail and ran home to hide like a little bitch. Tried to convince me he came home because he missed me. I almost got emotional before I remembered who I’m talking to.
So,” I finish, turning back to my brother.
“Are we done trying to embarrass each other in front of my girl, or should I tell Tessa about the time I walked in on you—”
“You fucking wouldn’t,” Jude cuts me off, turning a satisfying shade of red.
“Try me, little brother. Shall I remind you that you learned from the best? If you’re looking to compare dick sizes, I’m sorry to tell you mine will always be just a little bit bigger.
And that simply won’t change, no matter how hard it might be for you to accept,” I sit back, flashing him a grin that probably makes me look like a complete asshole, as I cross my arms in front of my chest and watch him wrestle with the urge to retaliate.
“Alright,” he finally relents, sliding off his chair to carry his plate to the sink.
“A smart man knows when he’s beaten and accepts defeat with grace and dignity.
Congratulations, you ruthless son of a bitch.
You win. I’m beat, so I’ll go watch some TV and hit the sack.
Thanks again for dinner, Tessa. And all jokes aside,” he says, a hint of a smirk touching his lips.
“I’m glad you’re back together. Jake was really fucking pathetic without you.
” And with that parting shot, my little shit of a brother takes the stairs two at a time, leaving me to seethe with my ears burning.