21. Twenty-One #2
Kicking my feet in the water in an effort to stay warm, I flick a wet leaf off the air-filled tube.
“I just don’t know how to…” I break off, looking up at the guy who’s stood by me for as long as I can remember.
The guy who never once gave up on me, no matter how difficult I made it for him.
He’s never shied away from giving it to me straight, and I know I can be brutally honest with him in return, so I lay it all out.
“Sometimes I’m not so sure I know how to show people how much they mean to me.
Take Tessa, for example. She was my whole world back then.
I was so fucking dependent on her I’m not even sure it was healthy.
Never once considered wanting to be with anyone else.
And yet, she had no idea how much she meant to me.
She questioned my feelings for her so much she let other people get in her head.
I just wonder sometimes…if my dad’s fucked me up too much, you know?
Like there’s something wrong with me and my ability to show affection. ”
“You’re kidding me, right?” Carter asks, giving me an incredulous look.
“My kids adore you, and if I asked them right now whether they know how much you love them, the answer would be a resounding yes. Your siblings know how much they mean to you. You may not tell them you love them all that often, but you’ve proven it through your actions time and time again.
Hell, I know how important I am to you. You show your love for me so freely Megan has shown concern for my backside a time or two. ”
“Fuck off,” I laugh, giving him a hard punch to the thigh.
“Honestly, though,” he continues once he recovers from the sting.
“There’s nothing wrong with you or the way you show people how much you care.
You’re the most loyal, protective, and considerate guy I know.
In all honesty, I never understood how she could ever have doubted how you felt about her.
Everyone with a set of eyes could see how completely gone you were for that girl.
” He drags a hand through the water, flicking some at me before saying, “I know you’ve been hurt a lot.
And I get that you’re scared to let her get close again, because she’s the only woman in the world who has the power to bring you to your knees.
But the simple truth is, you’ve been in deep with Tessa from the moment you met, and no matter how much you might try to protect yourself, it’s going to hurt like a son of a bitch if she leaves again.
So, here’s my advice,” he says, as his emerald eyes burn into mine.
“Take it slow if you have to, but don’t hold back.
Nothing you do from here on out will save you from heartbreak if things don’t work out.
If I were you, I’d pour all my efforts into giving her every reason to stay instead. ”
“That’s solid feedback, oh wise one. Sometimes I forget you’re not as dumb as you look.”
“Dick,” Carter spits, shoving me off his unicorn without warning, and causing me to swallow a mouthful of water.
“All jokes aside,” I say once the coughing subsides.
“Thanks. For always being there for me. I don’t think I tell you enough how much I appreciate you always nudging me in the right direction whenever I get lost in my own head.
But as much as I’m enjoying our talk, I have to get out.
I think my dick’s getting frostbite. I just started putting him to good use again. I’d hate to lose him now.”
Carter guffaws and slaps me on the shoulder before we get out of the river and rejoin the others. I feel lighter than I have in a long time, and when Tessa smiles up at me with a mischievous twinkle in her eye I promise myself that starting today, she'll never doubt me or my intentions again.
“So, Jude was kind enough to let us all in on the real reason you refused to continue your tutoring sessions with Mrs. Sweeney back in the day.” Her grin is so wide, the sunlight reflecting off her pearly whites almost blinds me.
“How did it feel to catch the attention of someone old enough to be your mother? ”
I pin my brother with a glare that promises retribution before I leap over a giggling Anna to get to him.
Jude yelps, rolls, and jumps to his feet in the most impressive ninja move I’ve ever seen.
Goddammit, it pisses me off that he’s so much faster and more agile than me.
A fact he seems to take full advantage of every chance he gets.
“Yeah, you better run!” I shout as I hurl myself over a massive boulder and pray I don’t break an ankle in the name of revenge.
“There’s no way you’ll catch me, old man. You might as well give up before you have a heart attack. Gotta start watching that ticker at your age.”
Jude’s animated cackle is abruptly cut off when his foot catches on a protruding root, causing him to face plant into the ground and reinstating my belief that there is such a thing as cosmic justice after all.