27. Aiden
As more people come up to greet Anna and congratulate us both on our engagement, the more relaxed Anna becomes. Not a single person is rude or makes any derogatory comments toward Anna, and I had been confident that would be the case. If anyone has anything unkind to say, they certainly don’t say it to our faces.
Guests begin to filter in and take their seats moments before the service starts. Gretchen and her husband, Max, enter the sanctuary through a side door at the front of the church, and I watch as she slowly surveys the room. Gretchen almost trips when she notices that Savannah hasn’t shied away from coming today.
Anna gives her mother a small wave, even though her smile doesn’t quite reach her eyes. However, Gretchen’s face lights up like fireworks on the Fourth of July. Anna’s gesture is a small one, but it’s monumental to her mother.
As the music starts to play, Anna stands up with the rest of the congregation and begins singing at the top of her lungs. Penny mentioned to me this morning that she and Anna had been listening to worship music all week while I was away. This explains why Anna is able to sing with such confidence this time around.
The worship team plays Chris Tomlin’s version of Amazing Grace, and Anna shuts her eyes and lifts her face toward the heavens. Her voice floats through the air and resonates throughout the room—angelic, booming, and powerful emotions of praise. Quite a few regulars stop their singing just to listen to Anna, smiling and lifting their hands right along with her. Some of them even have tears of joy in their eyes.
At that moment, I know I have passed the point of no return and have fallen in in love with her.
Pastor Will steps up to the pulpit to begin his sermon. He’s a young pastor who replaced Pastor Steven when he retired two years ago, but he’s been just as amazing.
“Today, I had planned to preach about the ‘woman at the well.’ It’s a beautiful story about love, redemption, and acceptance that most of us can relate to.”
Several people shout an “Amen!” but others chuckle when the Pastor continues, “But I’m not going to preach about that today. I’m going to save that one for next week. As I was sitting at my desk, writing out my notes, a different subject matter was pressed upon my heart. I ignored it and kept on diligently scribbling down words, but the feeling wouldn’t leave me.”
Pastor Will steps away from the podium and stands to the right of it, “I can’t explain why I need to talk about this other than it’s God’s will. Do you know that some of the most important women in the Bible were barren? Abraham’s wife, Sarah, was unable to have children, but God promised her a son in her old age because of Abraham’s faithfulness. And you know what? God made the impossible possible, not only by blessing Sarah with a child when she was 90 years old but also by making her the mother of the nation of Israel. What’s special about Sarah is that when she was promised a son, she laughed. Actually laughed at God! She wasn’t asking Him to bless her with such a gift. It wasn’t even on her radar! No, she was at a point in her life where she accepted that she would never get to be a mother.
“Abraham and Sarah’s son, Isaac, married Rebekkah, who turned out to be barren as well. But once again, our God healed her, and she had not one child, but two—twin sons, Esau and Jacob.”
The pastor continues to speak about how women throughout the Bible were plagued by infertility. Still, God blessed them anyway, including John the Baptist’s mother, Elizabeth, who was well beyond her childbearing years when she finally conceived. Anna’s hand squeezes mine so tight I’ve lost feeling in my fingers, but I don’t care. Her eyes are filled with tears but, even more importantly, with hope.
“But what about those who never conceive? It’s not a punishment from God for anything you’ve done wrong. It just might not be your purpose. You might be destined to love another as your own instead. Isaiah 54:1 says, ‘Shout for joy, O barren woman, who bears no children; break forth in song and cry aloud, you who have never travailed; because more are the children of the desolate woman than of her who has a husband,’ says the LORD.
“This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t get married or live a desolate life. But you can be a mother in a spiritual and nurturing way. Adoption is an option, and there are plenty of stories throughout the Bible where that occurred, and not always by women. If you think about it, Jesus’ earthly father adopted him. Jesus wasn’t the biological son of Joseph, but Joseph loved Jesus as if he were his own.”
When the service concludes, Anna is still wiping away her tears. I gently kiss the back of her hand and ask, “Are you going to be all right?”
She smiles brightly, “I am now. Those were the exact words I needed to hear.”
We walk downstairs to pick up Penny, and I’m a little apprehensive about the impending encounter with Gretchen, who will most assuredly be with the kids. However, I’m more optimistic after Anna’s earlier gesture toward her mother.
Anna spots Gretchen and stops me from entering the room fully. “There she is. Aiden, I’m really nervous, and that’s not like me. I have no idea what to say to her.”
I link my arm with hers and lean down to whisper, “Do you want me to do the talking? You can jump in whenever you feel comfortable.”
She tightens her grip on my arm and leans her head against my shoulder. “Please. I’m not usually at a loss for words, but I never thought I would see this day.”
“I’m here for you, Anna. I won’t let you fall.” We walk into the room with Jessie and Jerry following behind. I see Jeremy and Jack in the corners, standing like sentinels while the kids run around the room. I don’t know if they’re standing there for my daughter’s protection or their own.
Gretchen is handing out snacks and notices our arrival. She quickly wipes her hands but is slow to come over to greet us. Her steps are cautious, and she’s unsure whether she’s welcome. Once I wave her over, there’s a bit more pep in her step despite her initial hesitancy.
I let go of Anna to envelop Gretchen in a hug. “How are you doing, pretty lady?”
“I’m…I’m good,” Gretchen says with a small hiccup. She wipes a tear away from her eye and looks at Anna. It’s clear she wants to hug her daughter but refrains because Anna isn’t ready for that. “Savannah, you sang so beautifully. I could hear your angelic voice all the way up front.”
Anna’s spine stiffens, and she wants to retort with a sarcastic remark, but she holds back and simply says, “Thank you.”
Gretchen’s grin broadens, “I’ve never heard you sing quite like that.”
“Like what?” Anna asks in a clipped tone. She’s doing her best not to lose hold of the tenuous thread that’s keeping her together.
Gretchen gives an honest answer. “Happy. Happy and in love. I don’t mean the love of a good man, although Aiden is about as good as it gets. No, I mean a love for Jesus. You sounded as if you were singing just for Him.”
Anna softens her features and looks away. “I was singing for Him. A lot has changed for me this past week.”
“A lot has changed for me, too. I’d love to talk to you about it and…and apologize to you if you’ll let me. The words ‘I’m sorry’ will never be enough, but I am. Sorry, that is. You never deserved the way I treated you.”
I interrupt because this is not the right place to have this particular conversation. “Anna and I have talked, and we would like to invite you over to my house in the near future so that you two can have this discussion…in private. Maybe next Sunday after church?”
Gretchen looks to Anna for confirmation, and Anna dips her chin once. “I doubt it’s going to be an easy conversation, Mother. But I’m willing to have it if you are. Before you agree, you should know that Aiden will be there with me. Whatever is said will be in front of him as well.”
Anna’s mother looks uneasy after the last statement, so I do what I can to put her mind at ease. “I’m not your judge or your jury, Gretchen. Whatever is said in my home will stay in my home. We love you and already know that your slate was wiped clean.”
Gretchen’s eyes dart between me and Anna. “I’d very much like that. Next Sunday it is, and I’ll bring the box of tissues.”
I laugh. “We’ll see you then.”
Penny had been watching from a distance and joins us once Gretchen goes back to serving cookies. We collect her belongings and go upstairs, where my parents are waiting for us while Scott and Roger keep watch over them.
When we exit the church, the sun is shining brightly, and the glare is nearly blinding. I bump into Anna, who has stopped dead in her tracks. She grabs the back of Penny’s shirt just before she gets to the steps. “Get back inside, now. Suspect—two o’clock.”
Jerry and Jessie take off running while my family complies with Anna’s order. Penny looks at me in befuddlement. “Why does Anna sound like one of the bodyguards, Dad?”
Once we’re safely back inside, Anna takes hold of Penny’s hand and does her best to explain since Penny is catching on. “That’s because I am a bodyguard. I was hired to protect and look after you, Penny.”
Penny’s eyes leak tears, “So you’re not really my nanny?”
“I’m still your nanny, Penny. What does a nanny do?”
“They take care of you. They love you. They make you pancakes,” Penny says, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand.
“Have I taken care of you?” Anna asks.
Penny nods.
“I most certainly love and adore you,” Anna adds.
Penny sniffles, “I love you, too.”
Anna bends down to Penny’s level. “And have I made you pancakes?”
“The best I’ve ever tasted! The peach ones were scrumptious!”
“So, based on your definition of a nanny, what does that make me?”
“You’re a nanny that protects me?” Penny answers, not quite sure that’s the correct answer.
“That’s right. Protection is my superpower, just like hugs are yours.”
Unable to contain my curiosity any longer, I have to ask, “Who did you see, Anna? Was it Sean or Conor?”
“No, Aiden. It was Amy, and it doesn’t look like she took you up on your offer.”