15. Chapter 15
Holden
J ulian sweeps me off my feet, quite literally, picking me up and hauling me close to his body the second Danny and Lydia walk out with the kids.
I wrap my legs around his waist with a squeak, not expecting him to have picked me up like that.
His loud laugh makes my heart swell. “Did I scare you, darlin’? ”
“No. Just wasn’t expecting it. Took me by surprise.”
I rest my head against his shoulder as he spins us in slow circles, holding me tightly to him. When he spins me around, I catch Eli watching Beck and Ro with a little smile playing on his lips. “Put me down. I’m going to go check on Eli.”
He does, letting me slide slowly down his body until my feet hit the ground. “He hasn’t really been up dancing since the kids deserted him. Beck and Roman have tried to get him up with them, but so far, he’s resisted. Maybe you can convince him.”
Maybe I can. I’m going to try at any rate.
I raise up on my tip-toes, stealing a quick kiss from Julian before heading over to where Eli is sitting. “Hey,” I say, sitting down beside him.
He looks over at me with a small grin. “Hi.”
“How are you holding up?”
“I’m good. Happy. It’s… weird.”
Ouch. “Being happy?”
He nods, looking down at his lap before his eyes find Beck and Roman on the dance floor. “Kind of crazy that they want me , huh?”
Double ouch. “No. I don’t think it’s crazy at all. They’re good people. You’re a good person.”
“You don’t know that,” Eli murmurs, glancing away. He says the words so softly, I have to strain to hear him.
“Maybe I don’t know everything. But I know enough.” I lean back against the table, bracing my elbows behind me, letting my arm rest against Eli’s. He leans slightly into the touch. “I’m a very good judge of character. I had to be.”
“It’s just… It’s hard to believe. That they’d want me. That you and Julian do. No one else ever has. Not even my parents. That’s like the number one job of a parent, y’know?”
“I do know.” I turn to him, waiting until he looks at me to continue.
“My parents didn’t want me, either. I haven’t talked to them since I was your age.
Julian hasn’t talked to his in over six years.
Since before Wren was born. Our parents don’t get to define what we deserve or who we become.
Look at Roman. If he let his parents dictate his life, he’d be an abusive alcoholic. ”
Eli considers that for a second, then he nods. “You’re right.”
I laugh. “I always am, so file that away in things to know about Uncle Hold. ” He inhales a shaky breath, but I don’t want to make a big deal out of it.
I just want to let him know that I’m here and what I want to be to him.
“You know,” I muse. “When Wren was little, she called Beck and Ro ‘Unka.’” His huffed laugh makes me smile. “This is a special family.”
“I’m seeing that,” Eli whispers, his eyes settling on Ro and Beck.
“Can I tell you a secret?”
Eli nods, dragging his eyes from the dance floor to me.
I do my own slow sweep of the dance floor, my eyes landing on Roman and Beck.
Those two really are something special. I owe my life to Ro, but I owe Julian to Beck.
I’m not sure if I would’ve been brave enough to allow him to love me—to allow myself to love him— without Beck.
I sigh. “This family loves people to madness. Completely. Faults and all. True love?” I nod toward Beck and Roman.
“That exists. You don’t have to look any further than those two to see it.
They’re as steady as it comes. Nothing you do or don’t do could change their love. ”
“Are you…” Eli takes a deep breath. “Are you sure?”
“Positive. The right people, Eli? They’ll love you through everything. They’ll stay through everything.”
He doesn’t answer, but that’s alright. I don’t need him to. I just need him to hear it. I nudge him with my shoulder. “So, why aren’t you dancing?”
He shrugs. “Not sure, really.”
“Well, that’s not a very good answer.” In a bit of perfect timing, the music changes to something upbeat and fun. I stand up. “Come on, then. Let’s go.”
Eli’s brows furrow. “Go where?”
“Dance,” I say, grinning at him.
There’s a beat of silence, then he’s blinking at me. Come on, Eli. Be brave. “Okay…” A huge smile spreads across his face and he stands, following me onto the dance floor.
For a few minutes, it’s just the two of us, making up goofy dance moves. But it’s not long before his boisterous laughter has caught the attention of Beck and Ro, who start inching their way slowly across the floor to us.
When the three of them have settled into a rhythm together, I step back to search out Julian. I find him at the edge of the crowded floor, holding a glass of ice water out to me. “So perfect, darlin’. I knew you’d be good for him. Look at them.”
I turn around, leaning my back against Julian, his arms wrapping around my chest and swaying us slightly. “They’re such a beautiful family. He’s going to be fine. It might take some time. But they’re all going to be fine.”
By the time we get home, I’m dead on my feet, and I’m literally dying for cuddles.
Actually, truly dying. Don’t judge me. The second I step into the bedroom, I’m kicking off my shoes and stripping out of my tux.
I felt very fancy all dressed up, but now…
I make a beeline for the dresser, where the shirt Julian slept in last night is waiting for me.
Pulling it over my head, I inhale deeply, soaking in his scent as it rushes up to greet my nose. Julian’s deep chuckle brings a smile to my face. “Didn’t even give me a show tonight, darlin’.”
“Nope. Couldn’t wait.” Not that he has any room to talk since he’s already stripped down to his boxers.
He smiles, coming over to where I’m standing. Julian picks me up, and I all but melt into his body as he carries me into the bathroom. He sits me down on the countertop and turns the water on in the sink, letting it warm up.
He grabs my makeup remover and wets a cotton pad. I smile and close my eyes, already knowing what’s coming.
Gentle fingers cup my chin as Julian carefully removes my eyeliner.
When he’s done, I open my eyes, and the sweet contentment on his face has my heart ready to burst out of my chest. He doesn’t say a word as he takes his time wetting my face.
When he pumps cleanser onto his fingers and starts rubbing it into my skin in small circles, I sigh, leaning into his touch.
After he’s done, he uses a damp washcloth to gently wipe it away, then pats my face dry.
He gives my nose a little boop before moving on to the rest of my skincare routine.
I sit quietly, letting his easy care wash over me.
I used to think I’d never find this. That I’d never find someone to love me this way.
But this man has completely surpassed all my expectations.
My life is so… full. Fuller than I ever thought it could be.
I was convinced happiness like this didn’t exist. That I’d never be able to trust someone this way.
That I’d never be able to love someone this way .
Julian’s warm lips on mine startle me out of my internal musing, and I wrap my arms around him, kissing him back, and trying to pour all the love I have for him into it.
His hands slide under the bottom of my shirt, dusting over my thighs and up to grip my hips.
The small circles he’s making with his thumbs are driving me insane, but it’s the slow, easy strokes of his tongue against mine that have me moaning and arching into his touch.
His grip tightens as he lifts me off the counter and carries me into the bedroom, laying me out on the bed and settling himself over me.
Like always, he’s careful to keep his full weight off me.
His lips brush across my jaw and down my neck.
I gasp when he presses down on my aching cock.
He always feels so fucking good. Always.
I’m a fiend. “More,” I whisper, tangling my fingers in his hair and urging him back to my mouth.
Julian keeps the pace of our kisses slow, his lips working over mine like he’s trying to commit me and my taste to memory. He braces himself with one hand and uses the other to skim my side over his shirt, his touch reverent, like I’m something precious he has to protect.
He doesn’t rush. In fact, he seems content to just kiss me. Love me. Feel me underneath him.
I whimper as his tongue slides against mine, the deep rhythm of the kiss making my stomach clench. He shifts the slightest bit, notching his thigh between my legs. My breath hitches when he rocks against me, the friction against my cock sending sparks through my body.
Liquid heat settles in my limbs as he moans into my mouth.
“Julian,” I whine, my voice sounding gone already. I want more. I need more. I need him . Always. Forever. I don’t even have the words to tell him, but I don’t need to. He knows me better than I know myself.
His hand slides lower, gripping the bottom of my thigh and pushing my leg back so he can settle more of his weight on me.
He presses kisses across my cheek, making me shudder hard when he works his way to my throat and sucks on my pulse point.
The soft friction of his body has me burning up, every nerve firing like a live wire.
Julian groans. “God, you feel so fucking good.”
I still don’t have words, so I roll my hips up, loving the raspy moan he gives me in return. He’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Every single inch of me—body and mind and soul—belongs to him. Every tiny piece.
When I open my eyes, his are already locked on my face—lust and love and heat burning in them. “I love you,” I breathe, unable to say the words any louder.
Julian hums, dipping his head to press his forehead to mine. “I love you too, darlin’. More than anything in the entire world.”
A hitching sob leaves my chest, and Julian pulls back, smiling as he lets go of my thigh long enough to brush an errant tear off my face.
“I don’t know how I got so lucky,” he murmurs, brushing his lips over mine.
“You feel everything so deeply, my darlin’.
Fuck, I don’t know how I ever lived without you. ”
My orgasm takes me by surprise, cresting in an explosion that sends my head spinning. Julian falls over the edge right after me. It’s quiet. Intimate. No desperate, frenzied pace. Just his body moving over mine and quiet moans shared between our lips as we kiss our way through it.
Even when we come down, Julian doesn’t stop kissing me. It’s lazy, almost, like we have all the time in the world, and for right now, we do.
After what feels like hours of soft, indulgent kisses, Julian’s weight disappears.
I stick my lower lip out in protest, not even bothering to open my eyes.
His arms slip under me, and my pout turns into a smile when he lifts me up and pulls the cum-stained t-shirt over my head.
He cleans me off, taking his time to let his fingers ghost over my body before sinking into bed beside me.
He pulls the blankets up over us and gathers me up in his arms, moving me until I’m sprawled across his chest. I snuggle deeper, burying my face in the crook of his neck and breathing in his scent.
He lets out a little hum, but my body is already shutting down—my mind floating away as I surrender to sleep in the safety and warmth of his arms.