Chapter 8 Wraith
Wraith
Sipping my coffee at the dining table, I watch Specter and Colson. They have their heads together while Colson sits on Specter’s lap, and Specter is telling him about what we found last night.
“Thank fuck you guys showed up when you did,” Colson says. “You saved that woman.”
Specter nods. “Unfortunately, we come across scenes like that several times a year. A few years ago, we found some kids locked in a backyard shed. They’d all been reported missing and they’d been kidnapped. If we’d got there a day later, they would’ve been shipped off and probably lost for good.”
“Kids?” Colson asks.
Specter nods somberly, his jaw tic visible. “Little kids. Eight years old to fifteen.”
“Jesus.” Colson scrunches his face up in disgust. “What the fuck is wrong with people?”
“If we could answer that we could save the world,” I mutter.
“Truth,” Specter says.
I drag my hand through my hair as the memory of last night returns.
I believe that Bouche didn’t mean to call me, judging by the panicked expression he had, but I’m glad he stayed with me.
The sex was fire even if we were separated by phone lines and states.
Hopefully I’ll have the chance to see him again tonight, but more importantly, I hope the target shows up.
“Hockey tonight?” I ask.
Specter scrunches his nose. “Sorry, man. I’m going to Segreto. My baby has a new set he’s performing. Can’t miss it.”
“I get it.”
“You need backup?” Carnage asks.
“Can you sit through a hockey game?”
“Fuck yeah, I love hockey. Well, I used to when I was a kid. My older brother played.”
“Sweet. Wanna go to the Magnets game with me?”
“Yeah, but why?”
“My target goes to home games, apparently. He’s a tricky one.”
“I’m down.”
“Thanks, man. Easier to blend in with a friend.”
Carnage bats his eyelashes. “We’re friends? Aww.”
“Shut it.”
Carnage cackles and spreads more cream cheese on a bagel. We all fall into our morning conversations until Shadow enters the room, his face tight with tension. He sits down and Phantom pushes a fresh mug of hot coffee in front of him. Shadow nods in thanks, staring down at the mug.
“Stealth is being released at two this afternoon.”
“What do you need from us?” Whisper asks.
“Nothing. I want you to live your lives as you normally do. Stealth won’t want a big deal made about his return. Do make a point to see him and welcome him back though.”
“Of course,” I mumble. “Are you going alone to pick him up?”
Shadow nods. “I think it’s best.”
“Do I need to know anything special?” Nimble asks. “I wasn’t here for…” He shrugs.
We all turn to Shadow for direction. He sips his coffee then clears his throat as he sets the mug down. “Stealth was my first recruit. He’s been with me since the beginning of this venture, and he helped me establish what we are today.”
Nimble nods, his forehead creasing as he focuses on our boss. My shoulders tense as I listen. I know the story, but that doesn’t make it any easier to hear.
“We were busier than I ever anticipated,” Shadow continues. “It was hard to keep my eye on everything so I trusted the guys to handle themselves and come to me if they needed help. That’s where I went wrong.”
“No,” Whisper says, but Shadow raises his hand to stop him from continuing.
“I didn’t notice that Stealth was struggling. None of us noticed, but it’s my responsibility to pay attention.” He hangs his head for a second, and the temptation to reach out and soothe him is strong, but he won’t like that. “Stealth was so strong and competent. Nothing stood out.”
“He was good at hiding it,” Specter says, while Whisper nods in agreement.
“Regardless, I didn’t see it until it was too late.” Shadow’s face creases with pain. “I found him in his bathroom, clinging to life.”
Nimble sucks in a breath in surprise.
“He’d tried to end it all.” Shadow rubs his forehead. “Fortunately, I got there in time and he got the help he needed at the hospital, but he was fractured. Not the same man I met. He’s been away for eighteen months.”
Nimble nods.
“We’ll let Stealth decide what he needs. If he wants to talk about it or anything, or if he doesn’t. His release is dependent on maintaining a monthly appointment with his therapist, and we’ll support him as best we can.”
“But he wants to come back?” Carnage asks. “He wants to stay with us?”
Shadow nods. “Yes. It wasn’t the work that weighed on him.”
I know Shadow well enough to know he’s choosing his words carefully, but I also know he won’t tell us anything he doesn’t want to.
Carnage nods. “And it wasn’t us?”
“No, not at all. It’s not my place to share his reasons and struggles, but I assure you it wasn’t related to any of you. He’s looking forward to seeing you all again. He considers us his family.”
“We are,” Whisper grunts.
“Yes, we are,” Shadow agrees.
Specter and I exchange glances. We have our theories about what happened to Stealth, but we’ll never know the full truth unless he tells us.
Ghost leans back in his chair. “It’ll be good to have him back. We’ll be complete.”
Phantom taps his fingers on the table. “Missed him a lot.”
“He’s missed us too,” Shadow says. “I’m told he’s stronger than ever. He’s physically well too.”
The horrible memories of that night flood my mind.
I haven’t thought of it in ages, haven’t let myself since we were told he was gonna pull through, but the pain is just as fresh.
Watching Shadow’s normally stoic and composed demeanor crumble, hearing his panicked cries as he held an unconscious Stealth to his chest, the chaos while we got our brother to the hospital.
It was all a blur, only for us to find out he wasn’t steady enough to come back home.
We thought it would be a few months, but it’s been well over a year now.
I can’t help but wonder what Stealth will be like now.
He was always quiet but amiable with us.
We all should’ve noticed how he withdrew, how he started spending more time alone, or how he stopped talking to anyone but Shadow.
After breakfast, we all leave the table and quietly go back to our own plans, but Specter stops me with a hand on my arm. Colson lingers behind him.
“Yeah, bror?”
“Do you still think…” He trails off as he glances over his shoulder.
I know the rest of the question without waiting. “I’m not sure, but Shadow’s reactions, then and now, are… curious.”
“Yeah,” he grunts. “Doesn’t matter, but it would help if we knew.”
“Would it?”
Specter shrugs. “Maybe you’re right.”
“Very cryptic, boys,” Colson says, leaning on his man.
“We suspected,” Specter begins, lowering his voice even more, “that maybe there was a deeper connection between Stealth and Shadow.”
Colson nods. “That’s obvious.”
“What?” I ask.
“Granted, I don’t know Shadow well, but it’s been over a year and his demeanor completely shifts when he talks about Stealth. His concern is not brotherly and definitely not employer/employee focused. I’d guess he’s in love with Stealth.”
My jaw drops. I didn’t consider that. I thought it was perhaps an attraction, but love? If that’s the case, no wonder he feels such personal responsibility for what happened. He would have been closer to Stealth than any of us.
“Huh,” Specter says. “I wonder why they wouldn’t tell us if that’s true.”
“Maybe he doesn’t know,” Colson says. “Maybe neither of them do. Emotions are weird and confusing and complicated. We don’t always know what to do with them, right, mon tueur?”
“True.”
“But then he met Bellamy,” I add.
Colson scrunches his nose. “Like I said, feelings are complicated.”
Specter turns to his man. “You know why Bellamy left?”
Colson sort of nods, sort of shrugs. “And so does Shadow.”
“Spill it, danser,” I say. “He seemed head over heels in love with the boss.”
“He was. Is.” Colson steps closer and the three of us make a tight circle. “That was the problem. After you were shot, it really messed with him. He realized how dangerous this world is and he couldn’t bear the stress he felt after that.”
I pull my head back. “But Shadow rarely even goes out on a job.”
“I tried really hard to comfort him. After all, I was up close and personal to that situation. His fear of losing Shadow that way got to him and he couldn’t move past it.”
“And Shadow knows all that?” Specter asks.
“He does, and he handled it…” Colson tilts his head, considering his words. “Poorly.”
“What does that mean?” I ask.
“He completely shut down emotionally, put a huge wall up, and became very cold. He couldn’t find it in him to comfort or reassure Bellamy. My personal feeling is that he pushed him away on purpose. Maybe he thought it was better, or maybe—”
“Maybe he was hurt.” Specter finishes the sentence. “Jesus. Shadow’s been through it.”
“Explains why Bellamy is a topic we can’t discuss.”
“Right,” Specter says, stroking Colson’s shoulder. “And now Stealth is coming home, which has probably got him worked up.”
I nod, rubbing my hands together. “I’ll check in. Sometimes he talks to me.”
“Good luck,” Specter says. “He’s been pretty shitty when I bring up Stealth or Bellamy.”
“Noted.”
I excuse myself and walk through the house to the study, where I find Shadow standing at a window, gazing outside, his hands shoved into the pockets of his joggers.
“What?” he asks, not turning around to address me.
Of course he knows I’m here. “Just checking in, boss. You know you can talk to me if you need a safe place.”
“I don’t.” His tone is clipped.
Nodding, I chew on my bottom lip. “I’m simply reminding you that you’re not alone.”
He tilts his head back, his chest expanding with a deep breath. He turns slowly toward me, his expression shattered. “Thank you.”
“Of course.”
I start to leave, but he calls me back. “Wraith.”
“Yeah?”
“You would tell me, right? If something were wrong? All of you would tell me? Even if you just suspected something was off.”
“I would tell you, yeah. I’m sure the guys would too.”
“I don’t want anyone thinking it’s weak to need help.”