Chapter 19
Paxon
Wraith crashes into me and it feels like finding my way home again.
He does exactly what I ask, throwing himself into the kiss, exploring my mouth with his tongue and my body with his hands.
I melt into him as relief washes over me.
Relief from what, I don’t know. I don’t get to have this.
Don’t get to keep him. It’s impossible, and it fucking sucks that he’s the first one I’ve wanted to keep in my life.
But how do I get past his profession? How do I sit at home cooking dinner for a man who’s out killing people? How do I reconcile that? I can’t. Right? What does it make me if I do?
“Stop,” Wraith whispers against my lips.
“Stop what?”
“Thinking. There will be plenty of time for that.”
“How did you know?”
He pulls away slightly, gripping the back of my neck. “I just do. Push it all back. We’ll tackle it later, but for now, let me love you.”
My brow crinkles. “Let you love me?”
For the first time, a blush moves up his neck to his cheeks. “I said what I said.”
My chest tightens as my stomach flips. “No. You can’t… love me. It would just make it hurt more.”
Wraith shrugs. “I don’t know about you, but I wasn’t asked first if I wanted to catch feelings. I would’ve declined if I had been. Did anyone ask you?”
I shake my head.
“We don’t have to talk about it. Won’t do any good.” He cups my cheek. “But at least when you walk away from me for the last time, you’ll know that you left your mark.”
Before I can speak, he presses our lips together again and we fall onto his bed. It’s unbelievably soft, cradling my body and making me feel small and cared for. Wraith is right though—our feelings don’t matter. We’re from different worlds and I can’t see any way for them to blend.
“Let me love you, Pax,” Wraith whispers, dragging his lips over my neck until his breath is warming my ear. “Forget everything else but us and this.”
I tangle my fingers in his hair, wanting desperately to record every second of this in my mind so I can always remember a time when, at least for a little while, I was truly happy.
Wraith makes his way down my body, slowly removing my clothes as he covers me with kisses, erasing the anger from earlier. I thought I hurt him, but either he’s hiding it very well or he actually liked it.
“Shh,” he says, covering my skin in more heated kisses.
I lift my hips to help him get my jeans off. He’s worshipping every inch of me right now, kissing, sucking, nibbling little bites into my flesh, and as heat builds in my belly, I push away any thoughts except him, this.
Us.
Fuck, I want to keep this.
I was just getting a glimpse of who he is beyond his profession, and it was compelling. His presence calms me in ways I didn’t know were possible, and I don’t want to let it go. Not yet.
Fuck. I think I’m in love with him.
Is that even possible? Could it be real or am I clinging to the first thing that’s felt good in a long time?
“Oh fuck,” I moan when Wraith sinks his teeth into my thigh.
“I said stop thinking.”
I huff a laugh, nodding. “Sorry.”
“That’s okay. I’m obviously not working hard enough yet.”
I’m about to object when he closes his hot mouth around my cock, leaving me speechless and moaning. My thoughts quiet as desire takes over, blocking out everything but him.
He’s an expert with his mouth, and I could easily come like this, but Wraith has other plans. He kisses his way back up my body, and as I tangle my fingers in his silky hair, he holds my gaze, looking down at me like he’s just discovered the secrets of the universe in my eyes.
Yep. I’m fucked.
“God, you’re beautiful,” I whisper.
He smiles slightly, his eyes pools of unspoken emotion.
“I want to be inside you,” Wraith says. “Want to be one with you. I don’t want to be rough or bossy, I just want to make love to you.”
“Please.”
He reaches over to his nightstand, grabbing lube from his drawer. He holds up a condom, but I take it and toss it to the floor.
“I don’t want anything between us.”
“Same,” he grunts.
“You gonna put your cum inside me, Wraith? You gonna breed me finally?”
“Fuck,” he breathes out before attacking my neck with his mouth. “Legs up, gorgeous.”
I lift them, and he slides his hands under my knees before he dips down, his hot breath washing over my hole.
“So fucking pretty,” he murmurs before he dives in, licking a hot stripe along my crease.
Wraith shows me no mercy, licking and sucking, adding his fingers until I’m stretched out and begging for his cock.
“Please, Wraith. Need you.”
“I got you, baby.”
He removes his fingers and I whimper at the loss, but he replaces them quickly, massaging lube in and around my hole. My cock is so hard it’s aching and leaking, leaving sticky precum on my lower belly. I know if I touch it, I’m done for, so I grip the bedding instead.
Wraith climbs between my legs, hovering above me, our cocks bumping together. The way he’s looking at me leaves me breathless, and a million thoughts flood my mind, but his soft smile immediately soothes me as he enters me slowly.
I arch my back to meet him, sinking into the delicious fullness and slight sting.
“Fuck, your body is amazing,” he whispers.
Silently, I reach up and run my fingers through his hair, smiling as it falls around his face.
He’s incredible. Not just handsome and an amazing lover, but I know his heart is big for the people he cares about.
Walking away from this is going to hurt.
Bad. Will I ever find someone who makes me feel as good as Wraith does? Will I want to?
Yep. I’m absolutely fucked.
Wraith quiets my thoughts again with another sultry kiss, and I finally give in completely, letting myself simply soak up this moment. Everything else can wait.
With his arms wrapped around me and our gazes locked, we rock together, rising and falling in unison, and for the first time in my life I can truly say I know what it feels like to be made love to.
He’s in love with me.
I’d laugh at how ridiculous that thought is, but I can’t. There’s nothing funny about what’s grown between us.
My cock swells as my balls tighten, and Wraith must know I’m close. He gets up on his knees, putting unwanted space between our bodies, but I know better than to doubt him. He spreads my legs wider so he can angle himself differently, and that’s it. I’m gone.
He’s hitting my prostate dead on, and it only takes a few thrusts to push me over the edge, my cock completely untouched except for the light brush of his torso as he rocks into me.
“Fuck, Wraith,” I cry out as my cock erupts.
He falls forward, his thrusts turning erratic as he empties into me.
“You’re taking all my cum, baby,” he whispers in my ear before biting my lobe. “Your greedy little hole couldn’t wait to be bred by me.”
“Fuck yes, I wanted it so badly.”
“And I wanted to give it to you.”
We ride out our shared orgasms, and when Wraith lifts his head again and holds my gaze, my breath catches.
“I’ll quit if I have to.”
“What?” I shake my head slightly. “What are you talking about?”
“You. This. I’m fucking gone, man. I can’t walk away.”
“You’d… leave your job for me?”
He nods, his jaw set with determination. “I’m not qualified to do anything else, but I’ll figure it out. I just want to be with you. I’m absolutely in love with you. Dammit.”
I brush my fingers across his cheek, ready to admit what I already know is true. “How did this happen? We were supposed to have a quick hookup in a parking lot. Not this. Not love.”
“You were too addictive. Too beautiful. Too interesting. I got invested, and now I can’t just let you leave my life.”
“But this is your family, Wraith. It’s not like working at some corporate job. It’s your whole life.”
“You could replace it.”
We both flinch when his softening cock slips from my body.
“That’s a lot of responsibility. What if when we’re together all the time, it’s not enough anymore?”
“That could happen in any relationship.”
“Yeah, but you would’ve given up everything. Are you even allowed to do that?”
“Again, not the Mafia, and I don’t know what it looks like. No one’s left before.”
Can I let him do that for me? Does it really solve things? What does my life even look like after this season? Am I gonna retire?
“How about a shower?” Wraith asks, interrupting my thoughts. “We can wash the day away and think about next steps. We need to find Boone. We’ll figure out everything else later.”
I smile. “Later.”