30. Darcy
30
DARCY
O nce we’d established our rhythm out on the road, I girded my loins and just went straight for the jugular.
“I had a fiancé before you. His name was Massimo. Or, is, I guess. He’s still alive out there, as far as I know.”
Unfortunately.
Fallon had made every effort to keep his front sealed protectively around my back as he held the reins, so I felt him stiffen in response.
Oh, God.
I hated this. Hated, hated, hated that this might bother Fallon. That it might hurt him. Or that I might have hurt him, waiting so long to tell him.
“Go on,” he said when I went quiet. There was a gentle encouragement in it that just made me feel even worse.
“I didn’t choose him!” I said in a rush. “I’ll just make that clear right now. My parents did, my mother in particular. It was a match based solely on wealth and political connections. Massimo’s family runs a massive agricultural enterprise on Terratribe II.”
“More massive than mine?” Fallon asked, suddenly sounding a little peevish.
“Sorry, but yes. Their farm is bigger than yours.”
“Well, certainly it cannot be nearly as nice,” he muttered. Though I had no right to feel it, I latched onto the bolt of pleasure that went through me when I realized he was jealous over me.
“Definitely not as nice,” I told him soothingly. “Anyway. Massimo was… Well, just about as entitled as a rich Terratribe II guy could be.”
“You… Tell me you did not love him,” Fallon said hoarsely.
“No! Absolutely not! He was a fucking snake. He spent the entire meeting with my mother and me telling me all the things I’d have to change about myself before we got married. And then he grabbed my ass and squeezed it like I was nothing but a fucking cow – bracku – to be graded.”
“He did what ?”
Never had I heard Fallon’s easy, gentle voice turn so dangerous, so hard. Goosebumps rose all over my body in defiance of the heat. I turned my head back to look at him. His eyes were white lightning, his next words thunder.
“Is he on that ship? With your mother?” He bared his fangs in a hissing gesture I’d never seen from him before. “Because if he is, I may have yet another murder charge upon my head before the day is out.”
For the first time, I could believe the stories Fallon had told me about his youth. I hadn’t exactly not believed him, of course. I trusted him and didn’t think he’d lied. But now, I got a glimpse of the fury he was capable of. The kind of fury that could end a man.
For me.
Oh, that should not have felt so nice. That my sweet, golden retriever of a husband would turn himself into a wolf for me.
“He isn’t,” I said quickly. “The warden said it was just my mother and her pilot.”
Fallon gave a grunt that sounded like it should have come from grumpy Garrek, not from him.
“What did your mother do,” he growled, “after you told her of that filth’s unworthiness?”
“Told her? She was there ,” I said with a bitter laugh. “She was sitting on the couch watching the whole damn thing! She didn’t say a word. She was still all gung-ho about me marrying him. Only problem was that after the whole ass-grab situation, I was so stunned, so offended, that I slapped him across the face. He was furious. He called the engagement off immediately.”
I went quiet for a long moment, reliving the chaos of the scene. Massimo roaring that he’d never marry such a “frigid fucking bitch” and storming from the room. Then my mother leaping from her place on the couch and demanding that I go and apologize to him and repair things.
“Get down on your knees if you have to,” she’d said, her nails digging into my wrist. “But you will fix this. You will marry him.”
“Absolutely not!” I’d told her, wrenching my arm out of her grip.
The fiery anger had gone cold and brittle as ice.
“Then don’t bother coming home. If you don’t fix this, you are finished. You’re almost thirty and you won’t get another shot. Do you know how much work it took to arrange this match? How much I have done for you? If you’re going to throw everything I’ve sacrificed for you in my face then that’s it. You’re cut off. From our lives, our house, our estate. All of it.”
Those were the last words I’d heard from her.
Until today, apparently. Now, her narcissistic ass was back for more. Lucky me.
“I see now,” Fallon ground out, “why you are not pleased at the prospect of seeing her.”
“Yeah.” I sighed, exhausted. “Like I said, I wouldn’t go at all, but she’ll just stay in orbit pestering the warden with signals, or land and camp out outside his station, until she gets whatever audience she’s looking for.”
I’d never gotten any real closure when I’d left to participate in the bridal program. I’d never said goodbye. Never told my mom anything like, “Yeah, well, cut me off all you want. I don’t want what you have to offer.”
I guessed this was my chance.
My chance, though, seemed to come all too quickly when the warden’s station eventually appeared. Anxiety latched onto me like a vengeful crab. My stomach filled with acid, and I realized, astounded, that I hadn’t noticed my usually ever-present sour stomach the past couple of days.
Maybe I didn’t have anxiety. Maybe I was just allergic to being around my mother.
Or, more likely, Fallon had created such a safe place for me in our time together that I’d finally, slowly, been able to start to relax. To breathe.
The warm solidity of his body behind me kept me grounded when I saw my mother’s sleek shuttle beside the warden’s building.
A moment later, the warden himself came out to meet us. Fallon tugged on the reins and halted Kolt outside.
“Where is she?” Fallon muttered to me.
I snorted. “If you knew her, you’d know she’d never wait around out here in the dust. She’s sitting clean and pretty inside, waiting for me to come to her.”
“For us to come to her,” Fallon said.
“No, Fallon.” Protectiveness swept through me, a battering wind. I didn’t want Fallon in the same room as my mother. And besides, this was something I wanted, needed, to do on my own. “You being outside with the warden is all the support I need. I have to do this alone.”
I patted Kolt’s warm, black neck. “Why don’t you get this guy some water? I don’t think this will take long.”
Not if I had anything to say about it, anyway.
Fallon didn’t seem happy about that idea, but he honoured my request. After helping me down from the saddle, he let his hands linger at my waist for a moment longer than necessary, looked at me intently, and said, “I’ll be here. Right here.”
Fucking hell. I couldn’t afford to lose my shit before I even saw my mom. I took a massive breath, nodded, waved at the warden, then ran inside and closed the door before I could change my mind.
I found my mother standing in the same room I’d gotten married in. The merging of my two worlds was disorienting. Uncomfortably surreal, like something from a dream I would have given anything to wake up from.
My mother looked perfect, as usual. Like an older, blonder, freckle-less version of me, she narrowed her eyes at me imperiously.
“You are absolutely filthy.”
Nice greeting, Ma.
Ignoring the jab the way I’d learned to do when I was very young, I took off my hat, rubbed my forehead, and got straight to the point. “What do you want?”
“Is that any way to greet your mother?” she demanded.
Apparently, she’d already forgotten about the fact that she’d greeted her youngest daughter with a disparaging comment about cleanliness…
“I’m not here to greet you,” I told her flatly. “I’m here to find out what you want and then send you on your way. Tell me what you’re here for, then leave.”
“You’re even more rude than you were on Terratribe II,” she sniffed. “Being out here has not been good for you. All I want is what’s best for you. You know that.”
I knew that? I knew that? In what fucking universe?! I breathed fast and heavy through my nose, gritting my teeth, doing everything in my power not to let her get under my skin. That was what she was best at. Driving me up the fucking wall right before she swung back into placid politeness, making me look like the crazy one. But I wouldn’t let her win. Not this time. She had no power over me now.
“What’s best for me is you leaving now,” I said after fighting my rage into something of a submission. “So. Are we done here?”
“Hardly!” She took a swift step towards me and glared. “You’re coming back with me. Massimo wants nothing to do with you, but after an extraordinary amount of effort and sacrifice on my part, his younger brother has agreed to marry you.”
“Are you for real?” I asked, my eyes wide. Well, there went trying to stay controlled. “You’re just going to pawn me off on his brother, now? You are insane! I’m not going! Besides,” I gave her a triumphant smile, “I’m already a married woman. Legally married.”
My mother didn’t seem to think that important fact was the trump card I believed it was.
“No one on Terratribe II but your father, our lawyer, and I know that. We can make this all go away before you come home.”
Come home. The home she’d told me never to return to. And now, she was telling me she’d make “this” – Fallon, the only man I’d ever loved, disappear.
That wasn’t happening.
“I’m not going back with you,” I hissed.
“Don’t be absurd,” she shot back. “You’ve always been so dramatic. I never actually expected you to stay away this long. You were supposed to marry someone who’d contribute to our family, our stature. So, you are going to come back. You’ll still be married, still get to be a wife.”
“But I never wanted to be a wife!” I shouted, my fists balling. “I never even wanted to get married!”
“Oh?” My mother sneered. It made her beautiful face look so fucking ugly. Her voice rose. “And what else would you have been good for, if not making a decent marriage match? You’ve never exhibited any other particular skills or talents. You never had any real interests. God knows it was hard enough to teach you even the most basic domestic duties.”
She shook her head disapprovingly.
“You’re sullen, too tall, and getting older every day. After that stunt you pulled with Massimo, you’re not even good enough for what I’m offering you.” Her green eyes crackled. “If you’re anywhere near as smart as you should be, you will listen to me for once in your life and you will take it .”