31. Chapter 31
Chapter 31
Brynn
W alking into the funeral home with my brothers feels surreal. We should not be doing this right now. Dad should be at home, sitting in his recliner talking about his wild cowboyin' days. Instead, he is somewhere in this funeral home, waiting until we make every decision without him.
Dad was always the head of decision making, whether it was for the ranch or us. He always had the final say. Mostly because the three of us were wild and he needed to be able to control something in his life. The three of us lived our best life in that house with just our dad. Until my life took a turn, and I left without looking back.
I think about my conversation with Whit, I know I need to fill my brothers in on exactly what happened to make me leave and never visit. I just don't want them to take the blame upon themselves. I know they will go into full protective mode, and I won't get a moment of peace .
My brothers won't be happy that I kept this kind of thing from them all these years. I have worked hard in therapy to come to terms that none of it was my fault. All my years of hard work was finally paying off, and then I had to come back to Cedar Creek.
I take in the burgundy curtains hanging on the huge windows as we walk into the foyer and down a small hallway to the director's office. "Please have a seat, make yourselves comfortable."
My brothers and I sit down, Blake and I on the loveseat and Brooks in the chair. I can't help but to look around at the decor and think this place hasn't changed since the last funeral I attended when I was in high school. It hasn't been updated in years, and it shows.
"Now, I do have some paperwork for you to look over. I just need you to check the spelling of everything. Are you three aware your dad had pre-planned everything?" The director asks as he hands a file folder to Brooks. Brooks immediately passes it to Blake.
Blake starts to thumb through the information. I see that dad had picked out everything, from the casket to the music and how he wanted the service to go.
"He wanted to be sure you guys did not have to stress over decisions. "
"More like he didn't trust us to make the right decisions," Brooks huffs out a laugh.
"That too," The director says with a small smile. "When you have made sure all the spellings are correct, I would be happy to show you the casket he chose."
"Everything looks good." Blake hands the folder back to the funeral director. "I have his life insurance information if you need it."
"Your dad provided everything we need. I will give you copies of the death certificate so you can use them for whatever you need. Everything is paid for. Would you like me to go over the service with you?"
"Sure," Blake says as he listens intently.
I see Brooks and Blake nod their head in understanding as the director speaks. I tune everything out and redesign this entire space in my head. It is something that helps calm my anxiety. I would get rid of the dark color scheme, remove the hideous wallpaper, fresh coats of bright paint maybe in shades of blue. Relaxing, yet not so dark and somber.
I would reupholster the chair and loveseat, one solid, one patterned. I would be sure the windows are a focal point due to their height and the brightness they bring in. I would probably swap the ugly dark green carpet for hardwood floors and add an area rug large enough to fit under the desk all the way to the loveseat and chair .
"Any questions, Brynn?" Blake asks with raised eyebrows. I shake my head no, he knows I haven't been paying any attention.
The director stands, "If you need anything at all, don't hesitate to reach out."
"Thank you." We all say as we stand and walk to the front entrance.
"We will have everything ready for you tomorrow night." The director shakes each of our hands and we head out into the warm sunlight.
I tip my head back toward the sun and revel in the way it heats my body. It feels good to be reminded it's not all bad here. Thoughts of Colt immediately come to the front of my mind.
"You coming, Brynn?" Brooks asks as he holds the truck door open.
"Sorry," I say as I walk to the truck and get in. I buckle up and Brooks shuts the door and climbs in the passenger side.
"Well, I think the service will be nice. Dad did a good job, as always," Blake says as he cranks the air conditioning and pulls out of the parking lot.
"Yeah," I say absentmindedly.
Blake searches my eyes in the rearview mirror. I can see the thoughts swirling around in his head. I break the eye contact and stare out the window for the rest of the ride back to the ranch .
When we arrive, there are a ton of cars in the gravel driveway. "Guess the word is definitely out," Brooks says as he heaves out a long breath.
"Here we go," Blake says as he exits the vehicle. I stay seated, completely buckled.
I lay my head back against the headrest and close my eyes. I am not sure how long I have been sitting in the truck, but I can feel sweat running down my back. I hear a quick tap on the window and the truck door opens. Colt slides in the backseat beside me.
"You really shouldn't be out here much longer; it is way too hot," his deep voice says as he takes me in. Looks as though he is checking me out to be sure I don't have heat exhaustion. "Everyone has left."
I turn my head and look out the window and that is when I notice all the cars that were here when we got back are now gone. "Okay," I say as I reach for the buckle. Colt puts his hand over mine and gives a squeeze. He unfastens the seatbelt and leans over to open my door.
He hops out of his side and rounds the truck bed to come to the open door, "C'mon Firecracker." He holds out his hand and I rest my palm in his. He puts his other hand on the small of my back as we walk up the path to the main house. When I enter, the cool air immediately soothes my overheated skin .
"Brynn, you can't be in the heat like that," Whitney scolds as she places an ice-cold electrolyte drink in my hand. "Sip, don't guzzle."
I nod and take a small sip of the blue drink and head to the couch. I plop down and put my feet up on the coffee table. Colt reaches for the remote holder on the coffee table and turns on the fan above us. I feel the cool breeze as I hear the whirr of the fan.
Whitney sits beside me and grabs my wrist to check my pulse. I pull my hand away, "I'm fine."
"You will let me be the judge of that," she sasses. I let her take my pulse as I sink further into the couch. "Everything seems fine."
"Told you I was fine," I grumble as I take another sip of my drink.
Whitney rolls her eyes at me. "We saved you some food. Want me to get it?"
Before I can answer, Colt is standing in front of us with a paper plate covered in aluminum foil. On top of the foil, written in marker, is my name. "Eat," Colt says as he lays the plate on my lap.
"The man has spoken," Whit says with a laugh. I hear my brothers in the kitchen talking about horses.
Blake's phone rings and I hear him say he will be right there. "Colt, the horses have arrived. "
Colt looks at me and points his finger, "Don't get up until you eat and drink at least one bottle of water." I then notice the bottle of water he set on the table.
"Yes, sir." I give him a two-finger salute.
A growl rumbles low in his chest and Whitney cackles, "You are so fucked."