Chapter 13 Claire #2
Metal smacking against the table startled me. Louise had whipped out her magic quarter again. “Flip it.”
“I can’t flip a quarter over this. The ranch’s future is at stake.”
“You flipped it over its future before. Why can’t you do it again?”
“It’s complicated. My…love life is involved now.” Just saying the word love in the vague context of Beau felt too real, too big. What would my siblings say if I lost the ranch because I was distracted by him? They’d probably never speak to me again.
Louise pursed her fire-engine red lips at me. “I decided whether or not to marry my fourth husband with this coin.”
My brows furrowed. “You don’t have a fourth husband.”
She stole a fry and began munching on it. “Exactly.”
“I don’t think I can be as cut and dry as you, Miss Louise.”
“Oh, I cried ‘bout it for days, honey, but it wasn’t the answer that broke my heart. It was the relief I felt when it said no.”
She slid the coin across the table. “Think about it that way. If it lands on tails, how would you feel? Devastated or relieved?”
I stared down at the coin like it was radioactive. My mind raced with all the different outcomes, how everyone would react, how we’d navigate everything. It was a giant mess.
“Don’t think about what you think everyone wants and their feelings. Do what you want. It’s your life, Claire, not ours. You need to let yourself follow your heart,” Gran said. “You’ve already sacrificed so much for this family and our ranch, you deserve this happiness.”
“I’d be devastated,” I whispered. And for jumping through all those emotional hoops, the answer sure did come out fast.
Louise grinned. “Well, that’s good to hear. He’s got an ass you can bounce this quarter off of, and I’d hate for you to let that go.”
“Oh God,” I groaned, mortified. And then I said, “He does.”
They burst into laughter, making me smile.
“Now go home, and let that boy take care of you,” Gran said.
While it wasn’t the same as getting my siblings’ blessing, it felt just as good. It felt like the permission I knew I didn’t need, but desperately wanted. My heart fluttered, my smile widening. “Okay.”
But when I got home, not even thirty minutes later, Beau was nowhere to be found. I went to the barn. He had finished the roof, and on a post near the entrance, there was a piece of paper nailed to it.
Message received.
Let me know when you can do this.
-B
My heart sank. I hadn’t meant to hurt his feelings; I just needed to get my head on straight, and it was nearly impossible to do that with him around. I tried calling and texting, but he didn't answer. I thought about going over to Circle M, but I was too big of a coward to face Mount.
So I called Delilah, and she was here in fifteen minutes flat with a slew of junk food and a very large bottle of shitty wine. We spent the rest of the night working on the last touches of our final proposal, which was due at midnight.
But I couldn’t stop checking my phone the entire time we worked, waiting and hoping for Beau to respond to the texts I’d sent, apologizing and asking to talk. But nothing ever came, so I just kept chugging wine and stuffing my face.
“Just call him,” Delilah said. “It’s actually painful to look at you right now. You’re like a lost dog looking for its owner. A box of kittens left at the pound. A baby duck alone in a river. Just sad vibes all around.”
I massaged my temples, my brain fried from staring at my laptop. “I don’t think he wants to talk to me. He’s probably working on his proposal with Joseph anyway.”
“We should go over there.”
“Over where? To Circle M?”
She scoffed. “Hell no. Mount would shoot us in the ass with his twelve-gauge. To Anna’s.”
I straightened, my stomach twisting with unease. Or it might’ve been the pound of sour gummy worms and half a bottle of pinot I had consumed. There was no way to really tell. “I don’t know. We haven’t talked to Anna in ages. It’d be weird. And she has a toddler. I’d hate to wake him up.”
“You’re basically screwing her brother. How is it weird?”
I snorted, sipping more wine. “Um, well, that part for starters.”
“Y’all fucked?!” she yelled, and I slapped a hand over her mouth.
“Shhhh. You’ll wake up my mom.” I moved my hand. “No. We haven’t slept together. He just…God, I can’t believe I’m telling you this. He”—I looked around to make sure Emmett wasn’t wandering around the house since he never sleeps—“he fingered me in the barn earlier.”
Delilah’s jaw dropped. A face of pure excitement. “You dirty slut! I love it,” she whispered. “I didn’t know you had it in you. I always pictured you on your vanilla high horse, judging the rest of us.”
My shoulders dropped, surprised. “You’re not mad?”
Her eyes narrowed, head tilting. “Why would I be mad? Everyone deserves to get some.”
“Because he’s our competition? Because I should’ve been working on the proposal instead of getting finger banged against a hay bale?”
She giggled, kicking her feet. “Not the hay bale! That’s so hot.”
“It’s not funny!” I laughed.
My laughter faded, and I buried my face in my hands.
“This is serious, Delilah. We’re drowning in debt.
If Beau wins this partnership, the ranch is done.
I’ll have no choice but to sell to that seersucker-wearing asshole, Hollis, and watch him turn my family’s land into whatever nightmare he has planned. ” Just the thought nearly made me puke.
She pouted. “Well damn, way to kill my buzz.”
“Now you know why I’m so freaked out. He’s too big of a distraction. I’d never forgive myself if we lost this partnership because I was wrapped up in him.”
“You put way too much pressure on yourself, bear,” she said, taking a sip of wine. “Nobody is expecting you to be perfect or have it all together all the time. It’s okay to make mistakes, to fall for a hot ass man who fingers you in the barn, to live for you and only for you.”
I didn’t know how to respond, so I went back to my laptop. “Let’s just get this done. I’ll worry about it once this is over and I know whether or not I still have a ranch.”