Chapter 12
Wraith
This is nice.
Lying next to Bouche after a shower and another epic nut is comfortable. More comfortable than it should be. We don’t really know each other, but I can’t deny the incredible chemistry we share.
He’s on his back, his eyes fixed on the ceiling, his soft cock lying on his thigh. I admire him for a moment—his dark, wavy hair, his strong profile, the sexy pout of his lips, and his pecs. Jesus, those pecs. I want to lick him again, suck on his nipples, and my dick twitches with interest.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Uh yeah.” I roll to my side to give him my full attention. Well to show it. He already had it.
“Did you always know you were gay?”
The question surprises me. “I think so, yeah. I noticed early on that I didn’t have the same reaction to girls as my friends did. I messed around with a few girls in my younger years, and it was fine, but it wasn’t anything special. I assumed I was broken or the other guys were exaggerating.”
“How did you find out?”
“A friend of mine. We were out walking in the woods and he told me he thought he might like boys but he wasn’t sure how to find out. I was curious, so we talked about it and decided to kiss each other.”
Bouche turns his head so he’s facing me. “How was it?”
“Incredibly eye-opening. I knew at that moment what was missing. There was nothing wrong with me, I had just been kissing the wrong people.”
“What happened after that?”
“We messed around. Touching, blow jobs, that sort of thing.” I smile at the bittersweet memories. “His father caught on and sent him away to stay with relatives for a while. We were forbidden to see each other after that.”
“That sucks.”
I shrug. “That’s life.”
“Did you live somewhere conservative?”
“No, not at all. I grew up in Norway. We’re very open and accepting there, and my parents, while flawed in many ways, didn’t have that particular hangup, unlike my friend’s father.
Still, I didn’t fully come out to them, or really at all.
I carried on, finding discreet partners and accepting that I was definitely not straight.
I wasn’t like anyone in my family ever. I never really fit in. ”
“What do you mean?”
My jaw twitches slightly as unpleasant memories rise to the surface. “I don’t know. It always felt like they found me on the side of the road and took me in. I looked like them, but that’s where our similarities ended.”
“When did you leave Norway?”
“Long time ago.”
“Do you ever go back?”
I shake my head. “Sometimes I want to, but…”
“I get it. Lots of baggage.”
“Yes. Besides, my life here is full.”
“Have you been married or in a serious relationship? Anything like that?”
“No. I dated someone a while ago. I was still young and hopeful. He was good to me, but I wasn’t ready to settle down and move to the suburbs and that whole thing. He was, so we parted ways.”
“You sound sad. Did you love him?”
“I’m not sad anymore, but no, I didn’t love him. He was great but I was too immature to open my heart to him. What about you?”
“Married? No. I think I’ve always known I was queer. I publicly dated women in the early part of my career. I didn’t want anyone to know, and I’m still not out.”
“I picked up on that.”
He chuckles, scratching the stubble on his jaw. “Not because I’m ashamed. I’m not. But it’s a big deal in hockey. It would overshadow everything else, and some of the guys wouldn’t be okay with it.”
“That must be hard.”
“I’m used to it.”
“Are you gonna come out after you retire?”
“Not officially. Just gonna live my life.” His eyes settle on mine. “Do your brothers know about you?”
“Oh yeah. We’re all queer in some way. Not sure how that worked out, but it did.”
“That must feel… validating?”
“I suppose it does. I haven’t thought about how fortunate I am in a long time.”
Bouche studies my face for a moment before smiling. “Do you believe in astrology?”
“Like stars and shit?”
“No, like horoscopes and shit.”
“Oh.” I shrug. “Never thought about it. Why? Do you?”
“I didn’t used to. I thought it was all bullshit, but one of the guys on the team, his wife is really into it.
He set us up to do this card reading thing with her before our season a couple of years ago.
I played along and it was crazy accurate.
I wanted to know more so she did this whole birth chart thing.
It was weird, because it felt like she knew me better than I knew myself. I kind of buy into it now.”
I nod. What an interesting trait. “What did you learn about yourself?”
“So, I’m an Aries. I was born in early April. I have strong natural ability, an independent streak, and I tend to take on a lot of responsibility. I can be bullheaded about taking on too much. I can be loyal to a fault, sometimes obsessive about my attention. It’s a blind spot.”
“You didn’t know that about yourself?”
“No, not really. It was like having a light shined on things I did. Made me more aware of my tendencies. What’s your sign?”
“I have no idea.”
“When’s your birthday?”
“February fifth.”
“Ah. An Aquarius. We have independence in common.”
“Yeah? What else?”
“Aquarius marches to their own drum and doesn’t like to be stifled or held back in any way. They can seem distant, but once they lock in, they’ll be fully devoted. You may tend to keep your emotional distance from people, even those you love or care for, out of fear of being hurt or abandoned.”
I chuckle at that. “I guess so. Do we make an ideal match?”
“Not really, no.” He grins at me. “Physically, yeah. Emotionally, it can be harder to connect. That said, there is a limit to how far astrology goes. In my opinion, it’s nothing more than insight. We’re all still capable of making our own choices.”
“Makes sense. So I’m not getting kicked out of your bed for being the wrong sign?”
He laughs, and the sound is nice. “I’m a lot of things, but a dumbass isn’t one of them.”
“I’ll assume that’s a compliment.”
“It is.” His smile fades. “You, um, you bring something out in me that I’m still wrapping my head around.”
“What?”
“The way you low-key dom me. No one ever has, and it kind of pisses me off that I give in so easily, but not enough to resist it.”
Now we’re getting somewhere. “It’s not your natural inclination?”
“Not even close. I haven’t bottomed in years.”
“I’m honored even though I thought I was the first.”
“Shut up.” He rolls his eyes, but I see the vulnerability creeping into his expression.
“I’ve had to keep a lot of things together for years.
Even before my mom passed. My career is high profile and it’s all I have really.
And yeah, I’m pretty controlling, but…” He pauses, exhaling slowly, and I stay quiet to let him get out whatever he wants.
“But something about you relaxes me enough for me to let go for a little while. I’m curious how you knew you could talk to me like that.”
“I told you before that I’m a good judge of people. I often have to make quick assessments and decisions, and I made one about you.”
“You thought I was weak and submissive?”
“Just the opposite, gorgeous. I thought you had the weight of the world on your shoulders and could use a break.”
He nods thoughtfully. “Guess you were right.”
I roll closer to him, dragging my fingers over his chest. “But you don’t have to be pissed about it. This is just our vibe, and if it works for us, what else matters?”
Bouche nods again, his tongue flicking over his bottom lip, making me desperately want to taste his mouth. So I do, closing the space between us and pressing my lips to his.
He moans happily, sinking into me, and before long, we’re rolling around together again. My cock swells, rubbing against his, and I have to wonder if I’m capable of coming a third time this afternoon.
Before we can find out, a ringing phone interrupts us. Bouche groans, pressing his forehead to mine. “I gotta answer that.”
“Okay.”
He rolls off me and grabs his phone from the nightstand.
“Hey, what’s up,” he says.
I watch his face go from relaxed to tense in mere seconds.
“Why?”
I sit up slightly, balancing on my elbow. Is he in trouble? Or someone he knows?
“Are you being honest?” Bouche asks his caller. “Because you don’t have to hide anything from me.”
I hear a male voice on the other end, but it’s too muted for me to decipher the words.
Bouche nods, but his brow is creased with concern. “Okay, then. If you’re sure.” He listens some more and then says, “Will you be at the game on Saturday?”
I perk up at that. Is he seeing someone else too?
His jaw twitches, but then he exhales. “Yeah, okay. This is a good opportunity?” Bouche drags a hand through his hair before saying, “Okay. Good luck, then. Let me know when you’re back.”
He ends the call, lying back with a small groan.
“Everything okay?” I ask.
“Yeah. Nothing to worry about.” He sits up, rubbing his stomach. “I’m starving. You?”
“I could eat.”
“Pizza?”
“You eat pizza? Aren’t you into grilled chicken and broccoli?”
“I’m a defenseman. I eat what I want.”
“I like pizza. Not picky about toppings.”
“Cool.”
He gets out of bed and crosses the bedroom to throw on a pair of sweats. This is playing out much differently than I expected, but I’m not upset about it. Two rounds of hot sex and food? Not a bad way to spend an afternoon.
After I leave here, I need to touch base with Whisper to see if he’s found out anything more about my target, then hopefully I can make some progress before Shadow questions me about it. For right now though, I have a hot hockey player to focus on.
Two hours later, my phone buzzes and it’s my turn to check back into the real world.
I open the app to the Murder Buddies group chat, chuckling at the name Colson changed it to when we added him. I laugh every time.
Carnage: I’m at a club in West Mistone and I’m seeing some shady stuff going down. Anyone around to join me?
Shadow: What kind of shady stuff?