Chapter 18
EIGHTEEN
Z
“ A re you sure this is a good idea?” Bash asked for the one millionth time in the last hour.
I pinched the bridge of my nose, but that did very little to fend off my encroaching migraine.
“We discussed this. We don’t have a choice.” As I spoke, I hefted a bag and tossed it into the van.
Bash ground his teeth together. “Yes. I got that part. I just don’t understand why I have to stay behind.”
The dagger-sharp edge to his voice had me whirling around. My mage mate stood a few feet away from me, the torchlight playing with the edges of his ash-blond hair and darkening them to gold. His jaw began to twitch faster with irritation.
My mates and I had decided that we didn’t have a choice—we had to stop Aaliyah’s army before it could reach the capital and the kings. If the kings were released and regained that dark magic…
A shiver skated its way down my spine.
We couldn’t allow that to happen.
We also knew not all of us could go. Someone had to stay behind on the off chance…
I didn’t want to finish that thought.
Since Bash and Jax had already completed their trials, and had received the backing of Lilith, it was an obvious choice. At least for most of us.
Bash and Jax, however, strongly disagreed.
“I’ll be safe,” I assured Bash. “We all will be.”
As I spoke, I cataloged the weapons I’d strapped to myself. A knife in a holster on my thigh. A gun in the waistband of my jeans. A bow and arrow strung over my shoulder. It might have been overkill, but this was war. One never knew what they needed to survive.
“Jax and I should go with you.” Bash met my stare stubbornly.
“We had this argument before.” I heaved out a breath. “You’re needed?—”
“With you.”
“Here,” I finished, ignoring him.
I understood where he was coming from, truly. If the situation was reversed, if I had to remain behind while my mates fought a deadly army, I would be losing my shit. But in the grand scheme of things, this made the most sense. Jax and Bash would be able to lead the army and collect information at the camp, and if, god forbid, something were to happen to us, the resistance wouldn’t fall to shambles.
Bash turned away from me, something haunted flickering in his eyes, and the sight had grief streaking through my chest.
“Z…” He swallowed. “I can’t lose you.”
I took a step closer and grasped his cheeks. “You won’t.”
“But—”
I cut his words off with a kiss—chaste, sweet, and full of everything I didn’t say out loud.
“You won’t,” I repeated.
Beneath my palms, a muscle began to thump.
“We’ll be okay,” I said firmly. “We’ll have an entire army to protect us. We won’t even engage unless we don’t have a choice.”
Bash looked as if he wanted to protest…before swearing loudly, cupping my face, and pulling my lips back to his. This time, the kiss was ravenous and wild, a gnashing of teeth and clashing of tongues. When Bash finally pulled away, we were both breathing embarrassingly heavy.
“You fucking better. Or so help me…” Bash allowed the growled words to taper off, to hang in the air as both a promise and a threat.
Goose bumps skittered across my arms, and a churning heat erupted low in my belly.
“Don’t promise a girl a good time if you don’t intend to follow through,” I warned with a slight smirk.
“Is that a challenge, baby?”
“Maybe…” I pecked his lips once more and then spun out of his arms.
I didn’t know what would happen if I stayed in them a second longer.
Probably the two of us, naked—nothing but rough nips, teasing bites, and fighting tongues. The prospect sent a thunderous jolt straight through me, and my body flushed hot with intense arousal.
Focus, Z.
I forced my gaze away from Bash to survey the rest of my mates. Devlin and Lupe were finishing loading the second van—we would need to take two to reach our destination—and Dair already sat in the back, a forlorn expression on his handsome face. Killian was conversing with Mali, and Ryland was…somewhere. I swore I saw a shadow behind me move and shimmer, but when I turned to look, there was nothing but darkness.
And there, standing a little bit away from the others, was Jax.
I made a beeline towards him.
His garnet eyes flicked over my face before he focused on the ground.
“I left you…a gift in our tent,” I whispered, stopping when I stood directly in front of him.
His head snapped up, eyes locking on my face. “Huh?”
I wrapped my arms around his waist and nestled my head on his chest. He went utterly frozen, as if unsure of what to do, before he returned the embrace with a harrowed, ragged exhale. He rested his cheek on the top of my head.
“I don’t know how long we’re going to be gone,” I said, breathing him in. “I don’t want you to struggle while I’m away. I left you some bottles with my blood.”
For that, I had to enlist Mali, who, unsurprisingly, had the materials on hand. She was a vampire, after all, and I knew she hated drinking straight from the vein. It was an intimate experience, and Mali didn’t want to betray Atta unless it was absolutely necessary.
Jax tensed. “Z, you didn’t have to?—”
“I did.” I pulled back just enough to stare up at his face. “You know I did.”
I refused to lose Jax to the bloodlust or insanity again. Fucking refused.
A plethora of emotions emerged in Jax’s eyes—frustration, sadness, confusion, and then a reverent sort of tenderness that clotted my throat.
“I… Thank you.”
“Z!” Devlin called from the van, startling me. “We need to get on the road.”
I nodded to him before turning back towards Jax. It didn’t appear as if he’d taken his eyes off of me, not even for a second.
We didn’t speak, but then again, words weren’t necessary. In his eyes, I could see the depth of his love for me, his hope for our future, his fear that everything he held dear would be ripped away from him before he even realized what was happening.
“We’ll be back before you know it,” I assured him. “I love you. So much. “
Jax didn’t respond. He simply leaned forward, pressed his lips to mine in a chaste kiss, and then stepped back. His chest heaved with the force of his exhale.
Struggling to get my emotions under control, I raced back to the first van—which consisted of Killian and Devlin—and hopped into the passenger seat.
“You ready for this?” Devlin asked, already putting the vehicle into reverse.
I managed to stop myself from snorting—but only just. “Ready to stop my evil sister’s army? Of course.”
Killian chuckled from the back seat, but the noise was devoid of any true humor. I knew he was tense. We all were. The fear of the future hung over our heads like a guillotine blade just waiting to drop.
As the two vans rolled away from the camp, I chanced a peek out the back window. There, I could see Bash and Jax standing shoulder to shoulder, their gazes trained on mine, even with the distance separating us.
And I continued to watch until the forest swallowed them whole.
I’ll come back to you guys.
I promise.
I didn’t know how long we drove, but it must’ve been hours. Killian drifted off to sleep at some point, but I remained awake. Alert. Constantly scanning my surroundings, searching for a threat.
We chose to take the back streets, away from any towns. Not every nightmare was friendly to our cause. Who knew what type of trouble we would run into?
“How much longer?” I asked, keeping my voice low so I didn’t wake Killian.
He hadn’t been getting a lot of sleep lately, not since the mutations. The dark crescent moons beneath his eyes had never been more pronounced than they were now.
“We should be meeting with the army in only a few more hours,” Devlin said.
I pursed my lips. “Human, vampire, or mage?”
Devlin cast me a quick look before refocusing on the road. “All three.”
We had Davia send a message to the army closest to the capital so they knew to expect us.
“It just seems so…surreal.” I shifted in the uncomfortable seat, plucking at the seat belt secured to my chest.
“What does? The trials? The war?”
“Everything. But nothing more so than nightmares willingly helping the humans.” A shiver danced across my skin, lifting the fine hairs on both of my arms. “I can’t help but think this is a trap. A ploy. A way for us to lower our defenses.”
Devlin once again shifted his eyes to me before facing the front once more. “Aren’t you the one who always says that no human—or nightmare—is inherently good or bad? That not one species is considered innately evil?”
I momentarily lose my capability of speech. I had said that…more than once.
“Why is it so hard to believe that some nightmares never agreed with the way things were run? That they never wanted humans to be slaves? Maybe Lilith’s blessing gave them the courage to finally do what is right. Maybe they were looking for an excuse to join us for a while now, and they finally found one.”
I hadn’t…
I hadn’t considered that. Not truly.
Logically, it stood to reason that every species had—as cliché as it sounded—good and bad apples. They weren’t so different from humans in that way, with the capability to both love and hate. I had met nightmares who had actively joined the human resistance and helped our cause.
But I’d also met nightmares who sought to kill, harm, and torture anyone they deemed as lesser. For the longest time, I believed that the latter group made up the majority of nightmares, but what if I was wrong? What if there was a middle ground that I refused to look at—nightmares who were too frightened to change the status quo without a little push?
“That isn’t to say that every nightmare we’ll meet today is truly on our side,” Devlin continued. “Some could be traitors. Others could be undecided and want to back the winning team. But I think you’ll find that my brothers and I aren’t as different as you’ll believe. You’ll be surprised by how many are sympathetic to your cause.”
A companionable silence settled between us as I turned over Devlin’s words in my head, looking at them from every angle and direction.
I’d held on to my own biases for too damn long. It was well past time for me to look at the world as it truly was—as shades of gray instead of black and white.
After only two more hours, the trees began to thin, giving way to a clearing lining a shallow stream. Over a hundred tents bordered the bank, all of them varying in size.
Just like when we arrived at the last camp, every eye turned to stare at us as we approached. My stomach churned uneasily, but I forced myself not to look away, forced myself to maintain eye contact with each and every person I passed. Humans. Mages. Vampires. There were a handful of other nightmares as well.
I spotted a genie laughing with two humans. Behind them, a mermaid swam through the stream, its azure tail a startling contrast to the murky water.
A little boy waved to the van as we drove by, and I felt my heart drop in my stomach like a chunk of cement.
“God, he’s just a kid,” I whispered. “Please tell me he’s not fighting.”
“Davia told me that the camp is a sanctuary for refugees,” Killian piped up from the back. I hadn’t even realized he was awake and paying attention. “Humans from the other kingdoms will flock here for protection.”
Out the window, I saw what appeared to be a playground in the distance. Over a dozen kids ran around, their laughter rending the air.
Staring at their young, smiling faces, I remembered all at once what we were fighting for.
It wasn’t for me or my mates. Not truly.
It was for them —the innocents. If I could give them a life where they didn’t have to fear for their safety, didn’t have to constantly look over their shoulders, I would.
Steely determination filled me, bolstering my resolve, and I worked to reapply my impassive mask.
If Aaliyah wanted a fight, then she’d fucking get one.
Never again would I allow a child to go through what I had.
Never again.
Devlin pulled the van to a stop, and I unbuckled myself.
“Let’s do this,” I said stiffly.
We had an army to stop, a bitch to kill, and seven kingdoms to claim.
Game on.