Chapter 34
THIRTY-FOUR
Z
I woke to the sound of muffled curses and flesh hitting flesh. I recognized one of the voices as Ryland’s.
This could mean one of two things. Either he was cheating on me—which he would never do in a million years—or…
I jumped out of bed and hurried into my clothes. Or at least, I thought they were my clothes, but the shirt smelled distinctly of Bash and the pants were way too big.
Without even bothering to brush my teeth or hair, I hurried out of the tent, squinting as the midday sun bared down on me.
“MOTHERFUCKER!” Ryland roared.
I quickened my pace.
And there, directly behind my tent, in a field reserved for combat training, I found him…
Beating the shit out of ten humans.
The human warriors all rushed at him at the same time, their faces drawn tight in concentration, but Ryland dived out of the way without even breaking a sweat. He straightened, glared, and then threw his hand out, shadows cracking against the back of the nearest soldier and taking him to his knees.
A second man ran at Ryland, but my shadow prince simply dematerialized in a cloud of darkness before reappearing directly behind him. Two shadows coiled around the stranger’s neck, and the man fell limp, his eyes fluttering shut.
“What the fuck is going on?” I whispered, joining Mali and a few other humans and nightmares.
All of them watched the fight in rapt fascination.
“Training,” Mali responded, then winced as Ryland landed a particularly brutal blow to the head of an encroaching soldier.
“And that involves beating the shit out of our men and women?” I asked, arching an eyebrow.
Mali dragged a hand down her face. She looked tired, with violet bags underneath both of her glassy eyes. Then again, she always looked tired, as if her time with Aaliyah had physically altered something inside of her.
It made my heart hurt to see her like this.
“Ryland has been in a…” She canted her head from side to side, searching for the right word. “Mood.”
“A mood,” I repeated.
She nodded and refocused on the fight.
Ryland had just used his shadows to throw another soldier down. I wished I could see his expression, but the same darkness he used as weapons hovered around his face, obscuring his features from view. I knew it was because of his scarring. He didn’t like it when people stared, or worse—pitied him.
But I’d never seen him act quite like this before, as if he barely had control of the rage percolating inside of him.
“Did something happen?” Immediately, my mind traveled to Seth—Ryland’s father—who we’d left behind.
If something had happened to him…
“Not that I know of.” Mali’s brows puckered in contemplation. “At the very least, Atta didn’t say anything in her last letter.”
Something heavy and poignant settled in the air between us. I shuffled from foot to foot as I debated my next words.
“How are things going with Atta?” I glanced at her out of the corner of my eye before refocusing straight ahead.
Mali sighed, the noise rife with unencumbered pain. “I miss her so damn much. But she won’t talk to me outside of letters. With the majority of the mages on our side, she has the ability to, but she just…won’t.” Tears glistened in her eyes, but she didn’t let them fall. “I think I really screwed things up with her.”
Hesitantly, I reached for her and placed an arm around her waist. She immediately dropped her head onto my shoulder, tiny sniffles escaping her. This reminded me so much of how we were with each other way back when, before life went to shit. A pang reverberated in my chest.
I missed her almost as much as I missed Diego. It was a different type of nostalgic ache, though. Diego hadn’t chosen to die, but Mali did choose to leave us and join Aaliyah. Yes, she’d done it in a misguided attempt to protect us all, but it didn’t change matters. Her actions were solely her own, and others got hurt because of them.
Yet, despite all we’d been through together, my heart hadn’t hardened enough to shut her out completely.
“You’ll win her back, Mal. I know that for a fact.” I placed my head overtop of hers briefly before releasing her and stepping away. “You’re too…”
I struggled to find a word.
“Annoying? Pigheaded? Determined?” Mali filled in, chuckling blithely.
She rubbed at her eyes with the backs of her hands.
“Tenacious,” I settled on at last. “You won’t give up without one hell of a fight.”
Shouting pulled my attention back to the fighting ring, just in time to see one of our soldiers sail through the air and land with a threatening crack against the nearest tree. Immediately, the few healers we had on staff ran to check on him, but I couldn’t pull my attention off of a trembling Ryland, standing near the edge of the ring with his back bowed.
“Ry!” I snapped, hurrying forward, anger thrumming through my veins like an electric wire.
He whirled on me, his hand raised, shadows striking towards me?—
But he froze when he saw who it was. His hand lowered, and the shadows that were inches from my face dissipated as quickly as they arrived.
“Z.” Shame flavored my name, though I still couldn’t see his expression, not with the pulsating shadows surrounding him. “I’m sorry?—”
“What the hell was all that?” I demanded, gesturing towards the groaning soldiers.
Some of them had already walked off the ring, while others had to be carried off. And there were a few who weren’t even moving; the only indication they were still alive was the steady rise and fall of their chests.
“Training.” Something dark entered Ryland’s tone—something I’d never heard before, at least not from him. “If they can’t handle fighting one nightmare, then there’s no way they’ll survive in the battle to come.”
“Then we teach them, not hurt them,” I snapped.
Fuck, calm down, Z. Fighting isn’t going to get you anywhere.
I took a deep breath, squeezed my eyelids shut, and worked to gather control of my turbulent emotions. When I was certain I could have a conversation with Ryland without losing my damn mind, I opened my eyes and took his hands in mine.
He instantly tried to pull away.
What the fuck?
“What’s going on?” I desperately wished I could see his expression. “Why are you acting like this?”
“Like what?” He tugged again, and this time, I let him go, allowing my arms to fall back to my sides. “Are you embarrassed of me or something?”
“What?” I staggered back a step as if he’d physically punched me. “How the fuck did you jump to that conclusion?”
“All I’m trying to do is train our troops—be useful—and you jump down my throat,” Ryland snapped. “Maybe that’s why I haven’t been able to undergo Lilith’s trial. Because you don’t trust me.”
“What?” I stared at him in disbelief. But then, once that emotion faded, I felt mad. Really, really mad. “Is that what this is about? Are you pissed that you still haven’t completed your trial yet?”
The shadows rippling around Ryland began to dance and writhe in tandem with his agitation. “Is it because you don’t want me as a mate, Z? Is that it?”
“You’re being absolutely ridiculous!”
“Of course I am. Because it’s everyone’s fault but your own, isn’t it?” Ryland barked.
What the fuck was even happening?
“Why are you acting like this?” I demanded.
But that was the wrong thing to say.
Ryland remained still for a few seconds longer—eerily still, almost as if he was holding his breath and the world was too—before he disappeared in a swirl of darkness. One second, his shadowy form stood directly in front of me, and the next, he was…gone.
My stomach moved in riotous swirls as I stared at the spot he once stood.
What. The. Fuck?
“Z!” Mali hurried towards me, concern finding a home between her brows. “Are you okay? What the hell was that all about?”
“I don’t know,” I responded. Ryland had never talked to me like that before in his life. Fear scraped up my spine and knotted in my throat. “He wasn’t acting like himself.”
“No, he wasn’t,” Mali agreed, her frown deepening. “Are you okay? You’re looking a little?—”
I turned away from her and vomited, my stomach cramping painfully.
“—green,” Mali finished lamely.
She reached for my hair and pulled it away from my face as I emptied the contents of my stomach. I was just grateful I didn’t have breakfast yet. As it was, barely anything came out.
“Are you feeling okay, dearie?” a soft voice inquired.
Jolene was an older shifter and high-ranking member of the resistance, with a face perpetually stretched into a smile and wrinkles bracketing her intelligent gray eyes. She exuded “motherly” vibes in a way I’d never seen before. Not only was she a kind woman, but she was also a healer who specialized in the care of humans. We quickly put her to work in our medical center, and she’d been a godsend ever since.
“Just a little nauseous,” I said, dismissing her concern.
There were more important things for her to focus on—like the soldiers Ryland had just destroyed with his powers.
“She had a fight with her mate,” Mali explained, continuing to smooth back my hair.
Jolene’s face twisted in sympathy. “That could do it. It’s an awful feeling to be on the outs with your soulmate.”
Once I was positive I’d thoroughly emptied my stomach of its contents, I straightened, wiping at my mouth with the back of my hand.
“Let’s get you cleaned up, okay?” Mali said gently, guiding me back towards my tent.
“I want to look at your vitals as well, if you don’t mind.” Jolene moved to stand on my other side.
Her dark hazel eyes, currently appearing more brown than green, glimmered with concern.
“I’m fine. I promise.” I waved away both of their worries. “I was just feeling overwhelmed.” A lump formed in my throat, making swallowing impossible. “Ryland has never acted like that before.”
“Do you think it has something to do with the trials?” Mali asked. “Is this his trial?”
“No? Maybe? I don’t know.” And that was the truth.
All of the previous trials saw us in a different world, but that didn’t mean Lilith would always do that. Devlin’s trial was proof enough that she wouldn’t hesitate to shake things up.
Could Ryland be experiencing his trial at this exact moment?
But what was it?
Mali and Jolene conversed in soft tones as I changed into my own clothes, brushed my teeth, and then braided back my blonde curls. Once I felt more like myself instead of a walking, talking zombie, I returned and perched on the side of the bed.
Jolene immediately began to fuss over me.
“Is this really necessary?” I huffed.
Mali folded her arms and smirked. “You’re the leader of the biggest resistance in history. You could get a simple scratch and have a million healers look you over, ensuring you’re okay.”
I rolled my eyes but didn’t argue as Jolene fretted over me.
“I need to grab my supplies to do more,” she said, the crinkles around her eyes deepening with her smile. “But I wanted to ask?—”
“Z!” The flap to my tent was pushed away, and a familiar human stumbled inside, blood staining the side of his head.
“Stefan?” I stared at the human resistance leader with concern.
What the fuck?
“Z, come quick!” His eyes bulged. He looked unnaturally pale, almost ashen, like someone had taken chalk to his skin.
“What’s going on?” I reached for my weapons and began to sheathe the various daggers I had on hand, along with my sword.
“We’re under attack! Aaliyah’s army… It’s here. It’s fucking here.”