Chapter 59
FIFTY-NINE
LUPE
W rath.
All I knew was wrath.
The need to kill, stab, maim, and destroy was a living, breathing entity inside of me that defied all reason. I couldn’t think through the red haze that consumed my mind and vision.
Everyone here had to die.
That shifter.
That vampire.
That shadow.
Die. Die. Die.
Belatedly, I heard a voice in my head screaming that this wasn’t me, that I wasn’t a killer, but the all-encompassing rage that enveloped me like an ice-cold blanket drowned it out.
Who knew anger would be so cold? It spread from the tips of my toes to the top of my head.
“LUPE! SNAP OUT OF IT!”
That voice…
I recognized that voice.
My bear began to stir restlessly. He didn’t like being yelled at.
I didn’t like being yelled at.
The sudden urge to sink my claws into the man’s body rushed over me. I wanted him to bleed. To feel nothing but pain.
“Z needs you! Do you remember Z? Your mate? She needs us, dammit. And I can’t get to her until you snap out of this. So calm the fuck down, let go of your rage, and return to me. Can you do that? I swear to fuck I’ll stab you!”
A growl worked its way up my chest, reverberating through me.
How dare this man tell me to calm down? Didn’t he know that I was rage? I was wrath personified, and nothing—and no one—would get in my way.
But one thing stopped me from pouncing on the annoying shadow.
That name…
Z.
Z.
Z.
Images of a golden-haired woman with fierce blue eyes and an impish smirk flashed across my mind. Accompanying them was the feeling of safety. Of security. Of…home.
Z.
My…mate.
Mate.
A smidgen of my rage dissipated—just a little bit.
But it wasn’t enough.
I was out of my mind, consumed by wrath, and nothing could save me now. I was going to kill everyone here and then?—
No! The inner voice in my head screamed at me, banging his fists against the window. Think of Z! Think of your mate.
Mate.
Mate.
Mate.
As I continued to envision Z, more and more of my rage left me, trickling out of me steadily like water through a strainer. I grabbed a hold of coherence with both hands and pulled with all my might. I couldn’t lose myself to the anger again. Z needed me.
My brothers needed me.
Z.
My brothers.
Z.
My brothers.
I lowered my head to the ground as tremors worked their way through me.
You can do this, Lupe! You have to do this!
I thought of Z, and my brothers, and my love for them… And steadily, the last of my anger left me. I felt like I could finally breathe again, could finally suck in air through the iron vise enclosing my throat.
In the distance, I swore I saw a figure watching the scene unfold, and my brain mentally supplied me a name.
Lilith.
I didn’t know how I knew it was her, only that I did. I wondered if she wanted me to know she was watching, assessing, judging.
Before I could make a noise or alert the others to her presence, the figure vanished, and I pondered if I imagined her to begin with.
But something had definitely changed within me. I felt…whole, for the first time in my life. The weights of my anger and rage had dissolved into nothing but dust.
Had I just…completed Lilith’s trial?
By letting go of the remnants of my anger?
I whimpered and dropped to the ground, my body changing and distorting. My limbs shrank, and my fur receded. One second, I was a two-hundred-pound, pissed-off bear, and the next, I was me again.
“Oh, thank fuck,” Ryland breathed.
My shadow brother stood directly in front of me, relief painted across his face.
“Ryland?” I blinked up at him, struggling to orient myself to my surroundings.
I waited for the familiar tendrils of rage to coil around my heart, tightening and constricting, but they never came. I was free.
“Hey, buddy.” Ryland extended a hand for me to take, which I did. “Glad to have you back.”
I released him and scratched at the inside of my wrist, trying to ignore the fact I was completely naked. “I don’t know what happened. I was so…angry. I didn’t even recognize myself. Or you, for that matter. But then you mentioned Z and…”
“You came back to yourself.” Ryland’s eyes shone with pride—pride for me. “Here.”
He tossed me a pair of pants, which I slipped on gratefully.
“Not only that, but he completed Lilith’s trial,” a soft voice announced.
Ryland and I both turned to see Atta zipping up Mali’s coat, her cheeks flushed and twigs in her hair.
All of the shifters had reverted to their human forms. They stood, naked and confused, covered in blood and dirt. They blinked at each other, as if unable to comprehend that less than a few minutes ago, they’d been at each other’s throats.
“We follow the rightful king,” Jolene—the old healer—said reverently, bowing her head.
A sense of rightness cascaded through me, accompanied by triumph.
I’d done it.
I’d finally done it.
I’d completed my trial and proved myself worthy of standing by Z’s side, as her equal.
Nothing and no one could keep us apart now.
Just as quickly, those positive emotions were eclipsed by a surge of anxiety.
“Thank you. All of you. But,” I began, panic thrumming through my veins, “we need to find Z.”
Where was she?
Was she okay?
What the fuck happened with Aaliyah?
My heart swelled and then began to bleed anew when it found resistance against the barbed wire surrounding it.
Please be okay.
Please be okay.
“Go,” Atta said, wrapping her arms around Mali’s waist.
Ryland and I exchanged an eloquent look. No words needed to be said.
Without a backwards glance at the others, we broke into a run.
We needed to get to our mate.
Now.